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Original poster

The ABC of university life (2019/20 cohort) - settling in we hope

999 replies

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 26/09/2019 12:16

Previous thread - sorry about the lame thread title but done in a hurry!

OP posts:
WheelDecide · 05/10/2019 13:54

@Trewser that's a shame - poor girl.

It's weird to think that some of us live in the cities that other posters' children have gone to. Tempted to offer a spy service!

HotGingerPudding2 · 05/10/2019 14:48

Trewser hopefully the poor girl has has an accommodation transfer if it was a noise issue. It sounds very like it. Frankly 4 flats having pre drinks consistently in 1 flat sounds unbearable for any one not indulging. It would be impossible for one young person to raise it as a problem if that is seen as the norm, particularly in the early days.

My daughter is at St Andrews and the policy there is no swaps for the first 4 weeks then limited transfers can be authorised depending on prioritised circumstances.

Trewser · 05/10/2019 15:33

Frankly 4 flats having pre drinks consistently in 1 flat sounds unbearable for any one not indulging well yes, although apparently some of them didn't actually drink, just all got together there before goong out. It's all calmed down now lecrures have started apparently- dd had an early night last night!

Benjispruce · 05/10/2019 15:50

I think it’s a bit short sighted to leave because of Fresher’s noise etc. I’d encourage a student to at least stick it out for a month.

simbobs · 05/10/2019 16:11

She could have moved for all sorts of reasons so best not to speculate, even left altogether. My DD hated these gatherings at her 1st year flat and either holed up in her room or went to the library. They soon calmed down.

I have managed to speak to to DS today. He claims that all his student friends have come back for the weekend, that he is enjoying uni and that they have hardly started the course yet, so I shouldn't be concerned about him spending time back home.

On the plus side he can put some milk in the fridge and the bins out.

Danglingmod · 05/10/2019 16:17

The last few pages have reassured me that ds has done the right thing staying at home. There is absolutely no way he would cope with other people drinking, making noise and coming in at all hours... He goes to bed before us!

In my first year at Uni, I was in a University-owned house with 5 others first years and a 3rd year house parent. None of us went out drinking, we just cooked together, studied, took it in turns to use the house phone to ring our boyfriends and watched TV. How lucky I was I never even realised until now Grin

Trewser · 05/10/2019 17:09

Well, to be fair, it's calmed down and they've all become great friends. It seems a shame to discount halls altogether just because of freshers. But living at home much more comfortable!

Benjispruce · 05/10/2019 17:30

It’s one week.....

bigTillyMint · 05/10/2019 17:31

@DishingOutDone, I have those silicone earplugs which I find v effective.

Ginfordinner · 05/10/2019 17:37

Went to visit DD today to take stuff that didn't fit in the car.

She has made some really nice friends from her flat, the flat opposite and her course. She gets on with all of her flatmates even though most of them are party animals and she isn't. Her CFS makes staying out late difficult. She stayed in on her own last night as she as a nasty cold and didn't feel like going out, then felt bored and lonely.

Three of them are clean and tidy, but the party crowd (the other 5) always leave the kitchen in a mess. I think DD has already worked out who she doesn't want to share a flat with next year.

Course-wise her first labs went well, and she scored high marks in her first test. Next week is very full on and so are subsequent weeks.

All in all she has settled well, but will have to pace herself so she can stay awake during lectures and practicals.

bigTillyMint · 05/10/2019 17:40

I agree Freshers is only one week, and the vast majority of students love going out drinking and clubbing. It will calm down a bit, but there will still be a lots of partying this term, judging by DD and DGodDs experience.

If you are one of those who isn't into that, it must be pretty hard. That's why I think they should make transferring flats easier, as the partying students dont want to ruin the quieter students experience, but they do want to have fun.

bigTillyMint · 05/10/2019 17:41

@Ginfordinner sounds like you had a good catch up with your DDSmile Remind me where she is?

Benjispruce · 05/10/2019 17:47

I agree @bigTillymint . DD hasn’t been partying in rooms, just a few drinks then they’ve gone out. I think at Collingwood you didn’t even have to go for Freshers.

Ginfordinner · 05/10/2019 17:49

Newcastle. She loves the city and has no regrets so far. She is still getting over the break up with her boyfriend of nearly 4 years. Unfortunately tomorrow would have been their 4th anniversay so I hope she will be OK.

One evening someone in their block put on the group chat that predrinks were in her flat, so what felt like the whole block descended on them. DD and another girl escaped to another, quieter flat, making doubly sure that their rooms were locked.

DD doesn't like clubbing, and has enjoyed karaoke and quiz nights in pubs and bars instead.

Danglingmod · 05/10/2019 17:52

I know he would have still had a total meltdown just with one week of chaos/noise/drinking, but I doubt it will just be one week and then all the others will stop partying full stop, as other parents have said.

It just seems a shame that other students are reporting that, even having been supposedly allocated accommodation with like minded souls, they're not really. There are probably a few properly quiet, non-party people in each hall/flat across all the unis who haven't been sensibly matched up with each other and must be having a miserable first couple of weeks.

Mustbetimeforachange · 05/10/2019 17:54

At DS's uni you can request quiet rooms & I think also alcohol free areas (not quite so sure about that one). He likes to party but doesn't drink. He has a stinking cold at the moment.

Benjispruce · 05/10/2019 18:02

Never knew there were so many young people not up for a party! Or is it just a MN thing?

ZandathePanda · 05/10/2019 18:05

Dd up for a party but her freshers flu slowing her down a bit!

justasking111 · 05/10/2019 18:06

They have all been ill in DS flat this week, he was the first but they all went down in the end, end of partying. Feeling sorry for themselves now. They did not go that mad in his flat and luckily their flat is right at the end of the corridor facing a wall so no flats either side or opposite. He says that makes it a lot quieter.

Benjispruce · 05/10/2019 18:09

DD sent a video of her room earlier. She’d had a quiet day putting up posters she’d bought at the Freshers Fair and some fairylights etc. Looked nice.

MrKlaw · 05/10/2019 18:18

Finally got to have a quick call with DS. He was really quiet - until 5 minutes into the call I realised I hadn’t pressed the speaker button :D

Seems fine And was really nice to hear from him - has freshers flu like everyone else but settling in. Flat mates seem good and his room is comfortable if a little warm.

He might come home at the weekend around reading week as there are a few humanities students in his group so the flat will be quiet. He’s happy to have quite a few contact hours, but isn’t doing the workshop drop in sessions yet as he’s comfortable with what is being taught. From his timetable he has a half day free mid-week so can use that for sports etc.

Still not very talkative but that’s just how we are as a family. Hopefully we’ll try and have quick 5-10m chats at the weekends and maybe we can start to be a little more open with each other

Herocomplex · 05/10/2019 18:19

Just a word of warning my DC had problems sleeping last year and was given sleeping tablets by the uni practice. I was really surprised, but another friend told me her DC had also been offered them.
It’s the last thing I would have considered, and we managed to find other solutions, but just be aware. Offer loads of solutions if they’re struggling with regulating themselves.

I’ve just dropped off my final DC to get cracking on Yr 2, hoping that this year is better than last!

bigTillyMint · 05/10/2019 18:20

@Ginfordinner, aha, Newcastle is known for being party central! DGodD is there...

It must be particularly difficult for those diagnosed with ASD or with ASD traits - you would think that unis should be promoting Autism friendly accommodation for those who really dont like a lot of noise/extras in their flat/people coming back at all hours. Surely its a reasonable adjustment?

MrKlaw · 05/10/2019 18:20

Also warned him we’ll probably drop down to Bath for the Christmas market. ‘Just for the day?’ He checked :) yes don’t worry dear we won’t cramp your style, you might fancy some free food and we can drop some stuff down to you even though it’ll be only a couple of weeks before Xmas

Benjispruce · 05/10/2019 18:21

Thanks for that @Hero it’s not something I’d recommend either though I have used Nytol herbal before and they were great if a little smelly(valerian) but DD sleeps ok normally.
@MrKlaw I’m pleased you got a call. How’s that letter going????