The ABC of university life (2019/20 cohort) - settling in we hope

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Previous thread - sorry about the lame thread title but done in a hurry!

We hear quite a bit from DS, he texts or sends a WhatsApp message most days ... today I was visiting my elderly parents who kindly send DS a monthly allowance, he had sent then a thank you message & they were so thrilled, I showed them how to reply on their iPad & then DS phoned them, they were over the moon , I am pleased DS is thinking of his grandparents even when he is busy settling in

Settling in with AD is a whole other ball game, isn't it?

I'm not hearing much about the course itself, but DS has found a specialist teacher of his rather niche musical instrument at the Royal Northern and arranged lessons, so he's very pleased with himself. He's planning on eating a lot of lentils and potatoes in order to afford it.

DS came home after a week with no accommodation fees to pay. He had seven days to cancel his contract. He's at a local uni though and is bussing in now. He's not a party person and found the noise of people coming and going at all hours unbearable. (At home we only have the sound of owls hooting disturbing the peace!) I think he had been dreading it all summer but thought he ought to give living on campus a go. He's so much happier now he's home and he's enjoying his course (which seems to have a lot of lectures, contact time and whatever it is they call homework when you're at uni). He's cheerful and chatty again which is such a relief.

On the pet picture front, I deliberately didn't send him a picture of our beloved moggy while he was struggling because I feared that might make him feel more homesick. He missed the cat more than anyone else I think!

Dd home after busy day of introductory History stuff. Seems to have gone well. She also went to the CU Freshers event and really enjoyed that.

DD phoned me this evening. They've found the heating in her block so she's at least warm, which is good.

@Witchend Thank goodness the heating's on at Josephine Butler. I'm hoping they've switched it on at Stevo too. DS has been wearing his new winter coat in his bedroom!

You'd hope that when they pay up to £7K(+) a year for accommodation that they heating would have been turned on as soon as it got nippy!

dd has been away 3 weeks tomorrow.
tonight she say is the last freshers event.
she seems to be doing ok
it is a big deal though, being independent and Adulting.
she loses bank cards regularly, but has friends which is great.
she did say she was looking into coming home, for a weekend i presume, i wondered whether that was wise?

@Northernlurker it was DDs first busy history day too, Inc a tie safety talk got the block which ran late I think, but it was ok apparently as There was a stall with wine and crisps.

What units of study did your dd opt for?

CharliesMouse I have quite a lot of relatives in Holland and Sweden and it's extremely normal there for teens to go to their local uni and live at home. I think it's nice actually.

I think it's been a mixed start for my DS at uni of Nottingham. He said the first few freshers events were odd, lots of people walking around a nightclub on their own (he was one of them). He also expressed concerns in the early days that he didn't fit in with peers from his halls (I think he felt awkward).

I reassured him that he never had a huge group of friends at home, just a select few that had been nurtured over many years. I reminded him to stay true to himself and I was sure the same would happen at uni.

He is now coming to the end of his second week. He has made a small group of friends and appears more positive and happier. He has joined societies and lectures also started this week.

As a parent it's so hard hearing them struggle. In that first week I had to resist the urge to go and visit him (I think staying away was the right thing to do).

Big hugs to all those parents who have DC struggling, it's not easy being so far away.

Maybe it is again a very British thing (as with boarding schools) to expect 18 year olds to fly the nest to university, fully able to cope with the adult world?

As @Trewser commented other countries don't have the same expectations. Had a very close German friend who did go away to university but it was only about 50 miles away and there was an acceptance that going home for the weekend was entirely normal.

The other thing is that in the achievement obsessed world in which we live, failure isn't considered an option (particularly for high achievers). BUT not being brilliant at everything (and being slowish to adapt to university could be construed as such a thing) is part of robust resilience needed to successfully navigate one's path through life.

My DS is in third year at university. He FaceTimes me most days, but I don't kid myself it's because he wants to see me. I know it's because he wants to talk/see the cats!

@Citygirl2019 .. my DS is at Nottingham too in Broadgate .. hes uncommunicative at the best of times .. I think he struggled first few days and didn't go to the freshers stuff .. DD went to see him last weekend and said he's getting on with flatmates and had joined gym
.. I do worry but I'm leaving him to it for a few days !!!

@DrMadelineMaxwell she's doing the minorities in eastern Europe one this term. Pleased with the reading which looks good. She's got nothing today so planning an at home day with said reading.

I’d have thought feeling like a ‘fish out of water ‘ would be the norm when starting at Uni - couple with some excitement of course . As lectures start I’m sure they’ll all find their feet and make a few friends .

Having a look at dd's new uni friends they are all into little black dresses and clothes of the type she Never wears.
I feel for her but I have to try not to, she will fit in

Another thread reminded me of this. I always advise my first year class to get a flu vaccination, University is like nursery, a breeding ground of disease! Losing a week of study to flu is hard to recover from.

I really would recommend jollying them along though thanks. I think this is good advice. DD struggling a bit with living in the UK after growing up in France (or in French schools). Valiantly throwing herself into it, but feeling a bit lost (not always knowing what others are talking about). She is another one exhausted by all the admin and having to look after herself - opening a bank account (couldn’t be done until she was living in the UK), working out the launderette App (😂) - she now has a dose of fresher’s flu and is terrified it might be meningitis having seen terror inducing signs all round the campus (has booked in for vaccination on Wednesday) and can’t understand why it takes a week to get a GP appointment. She calls to offload which can leave me feeling a bit anxious (but I’m remembering more sage advice from this thread that this is entirely normal). It has been a massive help for me to check in on here and see how everyone else is getting on. Most of dd’s friends are living at home and at universities in Paris so I have no one in RL. Thanks to all of you

They should all have a flu jab and the Men ACWY jab as they have changed their herd environment.

I believe the MEN ACWY jab was included in the set of boosters they had aged about 15 so they should have had it. DS1 had to have it separately 2 years ago but it was added to the routine set between him and DS2.

I'm sure DS2 had it at school anyway.

I believe the MEN ACWY jab was included in the set of boosters they had aged about 15 DS didn't have a set of boosters at 15 at his school. He had to go to a clinic during the school hols (after GCSEs) to have his done - he and lots of other teens were being vaccinated in the same large room as loads of babies - it was a bit surreal!

dd1 had it at school, but apparently it depends on the area as it was being rolled out in their year.
I (and a lot of other people!) contacted the school nurse to check. In my case I phoned a friend, but she said they'd had loads of enquiries.

It's usually given at yr 9 at boarding schools due to change of herd but not sure about non boarders