The ABC of university life (2019/20 cohort) - settling in we hope

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Previous thread - sorry about the lame thread title but done in a hurry!

@bigTillyMint yeah I think he's ok - he isn't a 'talker' so thats pretty good coming from him. Blood out of a stone usually :)

I doubt he'll look for a job. His course is fairly full - 9-5 most days with a couple earlier finishes and one 6pm finish. We'd prefer he focuses on study as much as possible so have suggested job just in the summer (we aren't paying him during the summer)

@MrKlaw, yes, he'll be busy with those hours!

DD shares a kitchen with 20 but it is MASSIVE and has just been refurbished.

Also her halls are catered during the week so the kitchen is going to be used less. She likes it, and that's the main thing.

Dd said there are 4 or 5 out of 20 in their flat who haven't joined in anything even though the older student mentors (called STYCS at York ) keep trying to get them involved.

Thanks Rags you are always really supportive and I appreciate it. I think I just need to keep an eye on my DS as he may just be a slow burner with his new surroundings. I think because he is normally so confident with lots of friends I thought it would be the same at uni so was a bit surprised.

He did his first Aldi shop which was a bag of satsumas, a bag of lettuce, 2 packets of pistachios and a bag of popcorn, he was very proud of himself

@minesawine, I've forgotten where your DS is? My DS is usually confident with others, so I'm hoping he'll be fine at Durham despite it being significantly different to his circle of friends here.

Just booked the train to go and visit DS this weekend. Really looking forward to seeing him - think he's more interested in the free lunch!
Used Tesco Clubcard points to get a Friends and Family railcard (DD is coming with me) - saved about £50.

My DS will similarly be too busy during the week for a job, but I do expect him to work in the holidays, or at least the summer. I understand he finishes at 6 on a Thursday & 5 on a Friday which isn't great for visits home, plus a 9am start on a Monday!

BigTily He is at Nottingham Trent which is definitely the right place for him in terms of academic and social. Its only been a week so I am sure he will find his stride. I wish he hadn't taken his Playstation as that gives him an excuse not to go out and meet people

benji that seems like a lack of toilets and showers might not be as bad as it seems. When DD was boarding nine shared one toilet and one shower for two years. I questioned her about this a couple of times and was told it was a never a problem. I suspect they got into the habit of knowing a certain time suited them to shower. Hope it works out though.

Three weeks in here. DDs tired, tells us she's sorting her budget out and there's lots of reading. She's part of a large group who seem to enjoy going to the pub (she told me originally they didn't drink!!). She's joined three societies and a couple of girls from the group are going with her. Hiccup with accommodation so she's moving but thinks two boys from the group are closeby on the same floor. Applied for a job through uni.

When I was at university in the 80s we had one shower and one loo between 12, and that was in a newly built block. When everyone came back after sports and wanted to shower it was chaos. I used to have my shower mid afternoon, no one around and plenty of hot water!

@minesawine, I know the boys in DDs flat play Fifa together - maybe he will get into that? Maybe there is a gaming soc?

looking at DS' timetable - thats about 25 hours of direct contact per week? Seem about on par with other subjects?

Looking at the uni info, they're saying for year one that'd be a ratio of about 37:63 direct contact:self learning. So thats like 67 hours per week - seems a lot??

DD gets 8 or 9 contact hours a week. I dont know how many hours she does in the library. I think it varies according to what deadlines she has.

@Jano69 DS is in Hatfield, we bought a jacket last minute from ASOS, next day delivery. Is that an option? Must admit, had I not been reading this thread it wouldn't have occurred to me, I thought shirt and tie would be the norm, the penny dropped on Thursday night! DS will also need a dinner suit later in the term I believe, - it will be good old ASOS again

It’s a waste of space imo - it’s a large bathroom with shower over bath, 3 cubicles could be in there. 2 separate toilets thankfully and she does have a washbasin in her room. She just text to say plumbers were in there this morning so no chance of a shower anyway!

On the plus side she seems to have had a great time at the paint party judging by the photos. I’ve said she’ll have to shower in the day when she has free time. Still think they should have their rent cut though as other floors have 2 showers.

@Tinseltrauma Excellent advice re ASOS, I'm sure he'll need a jacket for other formal events too. He has the DJ packed, just forgot about the jacket.

@Benjispruce Are the showers in the gym a good back up option?

@Everyone Thank you for all the great advice on this thread, other than forgetting to pack food for DS (major error!), he has a perfectly functional fully resourced student room. A good start can make all the difference.

anyones' DC doing extra units over and above the required? DS timetable is 60 ECTS per year, but there is the option to do 6 extra ECTS credits in a language in year one. It seems like no real advantage academically - it doesn't seem to apply to the final marks, so is it more for extra curricular/rounding you out kind of thing?

if so I think he isn't likely to bother even though he should do well in it - his timetable is already very full so that 2 hours a week could better be spent on study

Minesawine that’s interesting as we are having similar with my son who is also a NTU. After the first night he feels a little bit stranded by the ambassadors as he is not a clubber or big drinker. I am hoping that starting course properly today with routine and structure will help as I am really worrying.

I guess it can be difficult for the ones who don't want to do the drinking/clubbing, but maybe they'll meet other like-minded students on their courses.

Jan that was the first thing I said to DD- presuming the gym has showers. She’ll cope but I do feel miffed considering the fees. It’s not like 30 years ago when it didn’t cost the earth so can’t compare to the horrid student accommodation of old. Also the rest of college facilities are really smart and must have cost a packet and yet a shower would be peanuts in comparison. They need to think about value for money.

Just had worrying contact from DS. His bank card has been blocked due to fraudulent activity, looks like it may have been cloned. He has no money, can't pay his rent and we are overseas. DH saying he's an adult now, he'll have to deal with it. Obviously this is not something he's ever had to do before so I'm trying to advise him as best I can. Hoping that one of his friends will lend him some cash.

Oh no sim Is he sure it's a genuine contact? Students can be scammed this way. Presumably he has contacts dthe bank direct and not through clicking on any links?His bank will surely issue another account for him to use while that one is investigated. Can you transfer money to him if so?

@simbobs - in parent talk we had on Saturday the college manager said about uni finance advisors and how they can arrange same day emergency loans if necessary - can he speak to student support to see if that's possible where he is?

and they can perhaps help make sure it isn't a scam as Benjispruce said.