The ABC of university life (2019/20 cohort) - settling in we hope

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Previous thread - sorry about the lame thread title but done in a hurry!

Nice and sunny in York today. Anybody still heading north the A64 is fine but it's v slow at the al/m/a64 junction. Don't know why. I cane past about thirty minutes ago going south

Oh no just hope he gets well soon. DD has never had tonsillitis, hope she doesn’t get it now!
Tilly how long was your journey? We plan to leave around 4. DD is singing upstairs while doing her makeup and packing last things. Will be quiet without her!

Dd's gone now. Hope all goes well.

Were on campus for parents weekend. Lovely foliage here in Massachusetts, nice drive up yesterday, perfect fall weather.

DS is fine but wants to quit the crew team as he thinks the new team captain is a nasty control freak but feels conflicted about it as he just paid the $200 fee to be on the team. We agreed that he'd talk to the coach and if he still felt the same he should just drop it.

We're currently waiting for a table at our favorite diner for breakfast and everyone is starving heading for hangry.

Good luck to all those heading off this weekend.

Found this post elsewhere, a recent graduate reflecting on being a fresher

medium.com/leeds-university-union/the-best-three-years-of-your-life-5e369be0fd5a

Son just finished his first week at university. Those who have already had older children go; how long did it take for them to settle? I am really worrying about son as his housemates don’t seem very friendly, he doesn’t really drink and hasn’t really been out at all this week. We had a mid week text from his girlfriend as he was super homesick and she was worried about him. Hubbie spoke to him the next day and he seemed ok. Since then he has joined a couple of clubs, Been out with housemates and been to a disco he texted last night. Girlfriend has been keeping in contact with me ( we are close anyway) and their versions of events don’t match. She said he refused to go to the fancy dress disco last minute as anxious ( even though he gave a detailed account of what happened) and he bailed out of his flatmates night out. He also told her he went to tennis club yesterday but he couldn’t have gone as he was playing computer games online with his brother at that time. I am really worried that his anxiety is flaring up again whereas husband says we should believe him over his girlfriend. Arghhhh! Never knew it would get harder as they got older!

@SchrodingersKitty well you seem to be slightly ahead of us as we are still buying some final things over the next week and DD has not really started properly packing at all.

She seems reluctant to start any of her reading too and is worried about lack of communication from her college which isn’t helping!

I thought this was the final weekend for university starters strawberrieshortcake. When does your DD start?

She doesn’t start till the 7th of October because she’s of to oxford. I think oxford and Cambridge still have more than a week to go.

@897654321abcvrufhfgg Hopefully your ds will have a better week next week when lectures start. Freshers is tough.

DS has been to bank today and is currently jeans shopping in Primark. Am most suspicious. Sent him with four pairs of jeans. Suspect stainage or shrinkage. Or both.

@897654321abcvrufhfgg I have an older DD who started 2 yrs ago. I would say that she settled well enough in the first few weeks, but that it didn't depend on other people. She's a natural introvert and happy when she knows what's what and feels on top of her studies. She got on well enough with some of her flatmates but actively disliked the lifestyle of others - she doesn't drink and didn't approve of their flat being used for pre drinks. Course-wise she didn't seem to make too many friends, but sufficient that she didn't feel lonely. She did have one school friend at the same uni and they spent quite a bit of time together as she was similarly introverted and also wasn't keen on her flatmates.

So much depends on the individual. When he visited DS found her flatmates disturbing, and those were the ones she did like. He has also been away a week is disappointed with the lack of company within his flat so spends most time away from there - doesn't augur well for when he is supposed to be working. He probably hasn't stayed in once so far.

From your post it sounds as though your DS is telling everyone what he thinks they want to hear.

@Piggywaspushed, more likely laundry aversion!

avenue, i think university can sometimes be quite boring and 'lifeless' at the weekend for some - different if you're doing a sport, perhaps but a lot of the action is during the week (another unspoken truth about university! Obviously as term goes by it can be a time to get work done!)

So going away for a weekend is fine - so is coming home if the fancy takes you.

897 I think it often takes more than a week to settle - it isn't very long at all. Sympathies, it's difficult when they're away and you're worried. Is ds' girlfriend going to visit in the near future, or he come home for a weekend?

@Benjispruce, 5 hours including a brief loo and coffee stop!

We have had a lovely lunch and walk in the sun - DS proudly showing us round Durham. Says he feels at home (spent quite a lot of time here last year with ex) Now in a gin bar

@Sooner, I agree that uni can be a bit boring at weekends, especially if people go home. A lot depends on where you are as there are often non-uni things on in cities. I suspect this will be my DS's downfall.

897 give him a few weeks at least to settle. It's a lot of change to process and he's probably a bit homesick.

Currently at the Northshore Mall shopping.

Finally managed to speak to DS. I'm glad to say he has settled in well & is really enjoying himself. He says he's got lucky with his flatmates & those next door. He has a very full timetable so things may have to calm down a bit. He seemed very settled & happy & was doing his washing (because someone had been sick on him).
Hugs to all those who are struggling. DD & DS1 struggled a bit to start with but found their feet after fresher's.

@Mustbetimeforachange that's great, apart from the sick!

There look to be a few Durham freshers in our Traveldodgy

@Clankboing ds all settled into County. Lancaster was busy. We got there just before 11 and found a space easily but when we were leaving at about 2 it was manic. There's students from the colleges at the main roundabout telling you whether to turn left or right, and they're hanging around the car parks showing you where to pick your keys up from. Parent's meeting was just about any question you might have so isn't necessary if you're happy with everything.

My DS seems most bemused by the hours students keep. At 11am, he texted me to tell me no one else was awake anywhere.

Not talked to DS yet but managed a semi-chat via WhatsApp messaging. Timetable seems ok - one v.full day but the others not too bad. Tried a squash taster but didn’t get on with it - also looking into tennis, football, badminton and climbing. He used to play a lot of tennis so that’s not surprising.

And flat mates seem ok

Horrible rainy drive up the m6/62/60 today with very poor visibility.
Then gloriously sunny when we got here.

Found a car park and we (dd1 and her sister) helped unpack the car. They then found homes for everything while I attended a parents' talk - basically "they are adults, let them adult" was the message.

Dd is now at the welcome talk. We did try to leave before then but she wants to have a family dinner with us before we head back so we are waiting to find somewhere to eat on the promise that when she returns she gets herself into the shared kitchen and gets to know her flatmates a bit.

I feel a bit in limbo at the moment.
Dd's gone, but not at Durham until tomorrow, so nothing to report.

Doesn't really feel real. She'll probably never live at home again. Now I am going to sob...