Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Our DC are nearly all officially students now (going to university 2019/20) - seizing the moment, spending, socialising, societies and studying!

999 replies

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 17/09/2019 16:00

Previous thread

[Edited by MNHQ to fix the link]

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
mum2eim · 25/09/2019 11:48

@Benjispruce @Witchend @Ingles2 @bigTillyMint it’s so reassuring to hear about your DC and their anxieties and hopes etc. My DD has been in Durham since Sunday for preseason training. I had tearful call last night. There’s a lot of drinking and socialising and potential forfeits (eating dog food if late to a social was one of them!) which she just doesn’t or can’t do and can’t understand why! Because she’s staying with a 2nd year she’s not got her own room to go back to which means she can’t take control and leave when she’s had enough. She was upset that it’s all going to be like this. I think it’s just sports teams initiation. She was better after a chat and she gets her college room tonight. She just feels she doesn’t fit it. It’s all too noisy and loud for her!
The positives are its obvious Durham is very compact and I’ve felt she’s been very safe there. She has also said despite her anxieties everyone has been very friendly.
I know she’ll meet her tribe and that not everyone wants to get drunk and party until 3am. She’s just built her expectations so high that she will suddenly make loads of new friends at Uni. As a PP said, that’s not realistic and hopefully she was able to understand.
I’m going up on Sunday on the train to see her, have lunch and see her room and give her a much needed hug.

Benjispruce · 25/09/2019 11:51

(eating dog food if late to a social was one of them!) These people will be told where to go by my DD. She's a vegetarian for a start! Grin

minesawine · 25/09/2019 11:56

Hi Rags My DS seems to be enjoying himself, but has to have time to himself because him room mates can get too much, although they are nice. He has found a barber, really likes his course mates and has started at the gym. It's his birthday on Saturday so we are going up on Sunday so I will get all the gossip.

Benjispruce · 25/09/2019 12:01

Thanks Trewser

bigTillyMint · 25/09/2019 12:05

@mum2eim, eating dog food??? WTAF Are these students thinking? Shock
@Benjispruce, I would be amazed if my DS didnt also tell them where to goAngry

@mum2eim, is she at Collingwood too? So sorry she is having a hard time. DS didn't want to go up early for pre-season training - glad he didn't, although he can hold his own.

DSs ex gf is not a big drinker but it wasn't a problem at her halls AFAIK - hopefully your DD will feel happier with her own room.

Benjispruce · 25/09/2019 12:07

What is the pre-season training for? Are they in teams already?

Tinseltrauma · 25/09/2019 12:10

@ZandathePanda DS1 graduated from Newcastle last year - they do offer you a mortar board for the official photo! But yes, at the actual ceremony there aren't any. DS 3 is starting at Durham on Sunday, DH and myself were both Newcastle, so it will be interesting to see the rivalry from the other side!

Tinseltrauma · 25/09/2019 12:14

@Benjispruce @Witchend @bigTillyMint @Ingles2 Panicking about a suit for DS for matriculation now! We were thinking just formal trousers and a nice shirt as he has grown out of his prom suit. Also he is still on his way back from the States haviing been due to fly back with Thomas Cook so there will be no real opportunity to go out and shop! Do you think the trousers /shirt combo will be ok? He's in Hatfield so it's gowned.

bigTillyMint · 25/09/2019 12:15

@Benjispruce*@Witchend@Ingles2 @mum2eim*
DS is a procrastinator too Grin Maybe that's all teens?!
Just caught up - so airer not needed at Collingwood Confused
DS ex gf wore a little dress like she might wear on a night out for matriculation (And looked lovely!)
Henry is judging?! Don't think my cake will win Grin

mum2eim · 25/09/2019 12:19

@Benjispruce my DD is veggie and apparently there was a veggie forfeit option 😔 From past experiences at high school she’s just not got the guts to tell them where to go, altho I did suggest she threatened them with vomit on the carpet if she was made to eat it!
My DD went into the team website and there was info about preseason training. When we dropped her off there were lots of hockey teams on the uni sports fields and we met a fresher up for preseason fencing training. Not sure she will carry on. It’s very intense and party orientated.
@bigTillyMint she’s at Johns so one of the smaller colleges but still plenty of freshers fancy dress options!

bigTillyMint · 25/09/2019 12:23

Preseason training was for footy (if interested in trying for the uni team I think?) DS isn't sure if he wants to commit to 3 training sessions a week as well as a match so might just go for college level.

@Tinseltrauma DS has a black tie suit and a blue suit And his sixthform trousers Grin

bigTillyMint · 25/09/2019 12:40

@Witchend @Benjispruce, DS says he's on some sort of FB chat (has put a profile pic up for the first time ever and PIL have put embarassing comments up Grin) but not sure if it's general or just his college

Ingles2 · 25/09/2019 12:42

@Benjispruce @Witchend @bigTillyMint @mum2eim @Tinseltrauma
oh blimey... my son won't be doing forfeits either... not the type at all. infact he's very anti drinking and he thinks I'm a complete lush with my 1 g&t :D
The freshers booklet that was sent out from Hild Bede listed suit / dinner suit / formal wear as top of the packing list... so went and bought it from Next.thankfully his prom suit is still fine for lounge wear.. but as you say, feeling like he is wearing the correct stuff is quite important to him atm, as he too is coming from a comp... He met some nice people at offer weekend, but the lad he was hooked up with was from Harrow and I think it was a bit of a culture shock.. sounds like there is going to be a real mix from here though, so that should put his mind at rest..

Ingles2 · 25/09/2019 12:43

oh and the fb chat is incessant, so we've turned it off! he hasn't contributed at all Grin

bigTillyMint · 25/09/2019 12:48

@Ingles2, DS is far from anti-drinking, but he's anti-twattish behaviour. I mean some forfeits could be OK and he'd be right in there with drinking games, but trying to make someone eat dog food???
He met quite a mix when he used to stay with ex gf in her halls, but not many from comps like him - he seemed to get on fine with them though, so I'm hoping for the best!
I wonder if Collingwood have a packing list....

Benjispruce · 25/09/2019 13:05

DS is far from anti-drinking, but he's anti-twattish behaviour.

This.

I think if wearing a gown, the clothes are less obvious so shirt and trousers would probably be fine unless a tie is needed. There are photos online of a huge group photo outside Collingwood in the rain so I'm thinking a smart coat will be better than just dress.

Benjispruce · 25/09/2019 13:05

Yes Ingles DD has 'muted' the chat too.

bigTillyMint · 25/09/2019 13:22

Smart coat?
Does a Norfy count as smart? Grin

bigTillyMint · 25/09/2019 13:23

Do boys even have smart coats? Shock

bigTillyMint · 25/09/2019 13:23

DS had better pray for dry weather that day Grin

Original poster
NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 25/09/2019 13:32

Do boys even have smart coats?

Rarely - in the 80s boys all wore grown-up 'tweed/wool' coats as the fashion, so they could look smart with the right type of day clothes underneath. These days it is very rare to see an 18 year old (girl or boy) in a smart coat!

OP posts:
justasking111 · 25/09/2019 13:59

QUESTION???

DS has had a job for two years at a local restaurant/pub. In uni. he has found a job at Weatherspoons. Now weatherspoons want his P45 from his local job, but the thing is he wants to keep the local job for xmas, easter and summer holidays. So how does this work??

bigTillyMint · 25/09/2019 14:09

I dont know! But DD works in a club during term time and worked in a pub here when she came home for the summer, so definitely doable. Plus DS worked 2 jobs in the summer. Maybe you just send it off and they return it PDQ?

DishingOutDone · 25/09/2019 14:19

afternoon all. 6am DD texted me to say the flat 2 doors up had an all night party and it was still going on. She said she just felt sad and stupid and wanted to come home, she hasn't slept properly for a week. I feel awful for her. However, security is available in her block 24/7 and there is a no noise after 11pm rule. She's reported it this morning (she made a video with sound as proof) and knows what to do if it happens again. Even so, it's crap.

Younger DD thinks she has chosen the wrong college course so am now trying to see if her old school will take her back for 6th form. Not a happy day in Dishing Towers.

mum2eim · 25/09/2019 14:26

@DishingOutDone that sound so hard for your DD and exhaustion exacerbates everything and lowers tolerance levels. Sad and stupid was how my DD described herself last night too. Hopefully things will settle down after freshers and the residents will stick to the rules. Sounds like your DD knows what to do and I bet she wasn't the only one who felt that way.

Re changing colleges and courses - I think it's quite common in the first few weeks. I'd definitely ask now rather than leave it any later.

Sending you a hug