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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Our DC are nearly all officially students now (going to university 2019/20) - seizing the moment, spending, socialising, societies and studying!

999 replies

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 17/09/2019 16:00

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[Edited by MNHQ to fix the link]

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ProfessorLayton1 · 23/09/2019 18:10

Dd just called, all seem to be ok and said that she will FaceTime her little sister when she is back from her sports club. Planning to go to another Karaoke night.

Ginfordinner · 23/09/2019 18:11

After a prompt from me DD has replied and said that she is going out with people from her course tonight as they have the same freshers wristband as her (nearly everyone in her flat has the other wristband).

WheelDecide · 23/09/2019 18:14

@juicy0. Good idea.

Trewser · 23/09/2019 18:21

I'm a slight rucksack parent but I am surprised you still have your teens on a location app! Dd19 removed herself when she went!

tommyshaircut · 23/09/2019 18:25

DS doesn't go until this weekend, he's very fed up as everyone else seems to have started

Piggywaspushed · 23/09/2019 18:30

DS made it to his 9 am lecture. He was up at 7.30 ! not made for student life

Danglingmod · 23/09/2019 18:35

My ds is living at home but I've been doing a bit of backpacking by helping him navigate Blackboard and his email, print course materials, find ebooks on the library catalogue, etc.

He's pretty handy round the house: mows the lawn, does the dishwasher, uses the washer, feeds himself fine - what he can't yet do is manage the IT side of Uni... At school, everything was paper based and he doesn't really use email or social media for personal use either. So, I think it's fine to help support them with the bits they struggle more with.

Yourownpersonaljesus · 23/09/2019 18:58

Agree with the poster who said it takes a while for them to settle. My DD started last year and it also took her until Christmas until she was truly happy. She has just started her second year and was keen to go back after the summer break. When she first started she was often on the phone to me crying saying how unhappy and lonely she was. She never actually said she wanted to quit though. She didn't really bond with her flat mates - she liked them but said they weren't her type of people. I went to visit her once but discouraged her from coming home as I thought if she was at home she wouldn't be bonding with her fellow students. After a while she made friends and that's when things changed for the better. She has some really good friends now and actually cries when she comes home as she's missing them so much!

Mustbetimeforachange · 23/09/2019 19:12

No tracking apps here. Thank goodness! They sometimes share their location on WhatsApp if they are driving somewhere as it saves sending me a text when they've arrived!

MrsPellegrinoPetrichor · 23/09/2019 19:15

I'm not on ds's social media,and no tracking apps- probably a very good thing!

simbobs · 23/09/2019 19:31

No, neither of mine would allow me on their social media, either, but I have to say that there have been any times in the last year or so when I regret not having a tracking app on DS's phone. I wouldn't do it now, but it would have saved me some shredded nerves while he was still at school.

MrKlaw · 23/09/2019 19:37

I’m going to try and not fuss for this first week - although rainy he’ll have freshers stuff to do. I just hope he stays out a bit later on campus for some things - like pizza night or pub quiz.

I don’t expect him to get in touch unless he needs something (and even then he’ll overthink and not want to bother us)

DishingOutDone · 23/09/2019 20:05

I am very glad everyone is accounted for and no one is in a wood!! Sorry for confusion - couldn't see the wood for the trees eh? Geddit? Eh? Do you see what I did there?!

DishingOutDone · 23/09/2019 20:10

Anyway.

DD texted to say she'd made chilli and it was rubbish, she had a headache and was going to bed but she did meet some more people so that sounds positive. Another induction type thing tomorrow. Not sure I have confessed here but I am going up at the weekend. She left some things behind and was hoping to manage without them but its not been practical; she has no coat for a start. Its nearly 3 hours each way which I am fine with so me and DD2 will set off and meet her for lunch, hand her stuff over and rally round.

Those of you who saw my posts upthread will remember that moving in day was really fraught as her room was in a terrible state and we had to sit outside for 3 hours whilst it was cleaned, lots of tears, DD blamed me - so i think we need a second bite at the cherry. This is move in Part 2.

ZandathePanda · 23/09/2019 20:10

To be honest I had forgot I had her on the location thingy until I was doing a bit of backpacking this morning. I was trying to remember why we put it on. It was when she missed the Meadowhall train a couple of years back and we couldn’t work out where her and her friend were. There was no one else in the carriage so we put on location services.
Barnsley.

olliepolly · 23/09/2019 20:27

Please can I join in. Dropped DD2 at uni this weekend long way from home nearly 300 miles. We did stay down there at her request. She is having wobbles and was very teary as we said goodbye today. I thought it would get easier with DD2 but they are very different.
Room ok but think a bird had been in there as one shelf had feathers and some bird poo on it!
Agree with all those saying info from uni has not been straightforward to locate, she was having difficulty with some of it. Am sure all will be gone over and reinforced at some point but agree a paper guide does have its place. There were even some errors in her stuff we were all scratching our heads over a supposed 10pm lecture ! As expected she thinks it is 10 am but honestly could have done without the stress. I know she is by nature a shy introvert and that the whole meeting people thing is hard, I know she will get there but there seems to be quite a lot of “alone” time. I know it will all pass and settle but I wish I could just press fast forward ! We aren’t the best communicators as a family eg haven’t got a fabulous and funny what’s app group that all participate in but I did resurrect a family group chat today to see if it might provide a bit of moral support. I admire all of you who are doing so well I’m struggling a bit here ,again I know it will pass in time.

icanbewhatiwant · 23/09/2019 20:40

Has anyone been told different amount for the maintenance loan? We filled out an extra form as DH earned a lot less last year compared to 2017. Anyway ds looked online and it said the amount he would be getting with the dates. Today he received a letter which he told me to open, it says he will get the minimum amount. That's £3,000 less than it shows online. I'm wondering which is correct. I guess we won't find out until he gets the first payment.

juicy0 · 23/09/2019 20:56

@DishingOutDone I hope take 2 goes well, I'd do the same!
@olliepolly you're not alone, I'm also struggling but I'm hoping it will just take time before it becomes the new norm. I'm trying to keep really busy to keep me mind off the sense of emptiness

olliepolly · 23/09/2019 21:07

Thanks juicy0 a bit of mn support is quite soothing

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 23/09/2019 21:41

@Olliepolly we literally installed whatsapp the day we dropped DD off #Dinosaurs Grin She uses whatsapp a lot with her friends so we had decided it was the best way to keep tabs in contact.

I had no idea about location tracking! In some ways I'd rather not know. DD has been quite chatty on whatsapp since going, mainly basic admin/cooking questions but also letting us know what she's doing. It's quite soothing when everythings going ok

That sounds stressful @icanbewhatiwant I must confess I'm not entirely sure what day DD's payment arrives, but I suppose until it arrives you'll not know whether to raise it with SFE or not. They seem to be another department that aren't very good at joined up thinking. fingers crossed the right amount arrives.

icanbewhatiwant · 23/09/2019 21:45

@RaptorInaPorkPieHat the annoying thing is they won't speak to me on the phone as it's confidential. I can't see ds phoning. I'll wait to see what amount he gets paid. It said today's date online for first payment, but he hasn't had a payment today.

mimiasovitch · 23/09/2019 21:58

I've found it really tough today, missing dd. I've avoided messaging her though, so as not to smother her. Turns out she messaged dd2 saying she was homesick so we had a family FaceTime where she shed a few tears (as did I), and we all had a good chat. I really didn't expect it as she's so self sufficient and stoic. I think she'll probably benefit from me sending lots of random texts as I always have done, instead of the hands off approach. It'll be easier once the course has started I imagine.

Clankboing · 23/09/2019 22:11

I said to ds that I'd like to us to send short daily texts. He was fine with this. Every so often longer calls / texts. Ds and I are the talkers in my family so I will miss that. Eveyone else is fairly quiet. I may need to start talking to dh again :-/ goodness, that will be strange!

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 23/09/2019 22:12

@icanbewhatiwant When I had to ring them about DD's disabled students allowance, DD gave them permission and set up a password for me to use if I need to speak to them in the future. Not much use to you now, but worth thinking about down the line.

icanbewhatiwant · 23/09/2019 22:17

@RaptorInaPorkPieHat yes I spoke to them about something else and my son was with me, he gave them permission to speak to me but obviously just for that phone call.