Going to university (2019/20 academic year) - and the fledgling freshers are off!

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

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Freshers' Week in mine was literally just people touting societies (which we didn't pay through the nose for either!) but then York didn't have an SU. Any ex Yorkies on here remember Death Soc?? That was fun...

DH didn't go to his Freshers' Week because his DF kept him at home to play football for his team for another week!

Hello - I thought I'd join (probably now just for a little while). My youngest is off to Uni this year. Her brother is about to go into his 4th year and her sister is now out in the big world!

I went to Uni back in the 90s, but have stayed in my uni city - Norwich and my husband works at UEA so in some ways I've not really ever left.
I think I'll miss this DD the most as she has always been the little one. Her brother and sister also both had gap years and her sister at any rate is old in her school year so was nearly 20 when she went whereas DD2 has only just turned 18 and this is making a difference, I think.
Not all unis have a completely separate freshers week. I know that uea's 'freshers week' is actually week 1 of term so I wonder if there's more normal stuff going on as well.

Agree @Piggy. I remember going to a SU gig, joining a couple of societies and that was it - game over.

Halleluia! After much shouting, swearing, Facebook consultation with other parents, a slot is booked! (none of you will be surprised to hear that I then had to go through the process again because DH came back from golf and requested an earlier time slot! Bless him. He has redeeming features, honest...)

But we are sorted for next Sunday. Better than the feared Friday in so many ways and work will be happy (well, less unhappy). In particular, DH's school was snotty about it.

Gin it will be interesting if our Dds end up being friends. They are in a different block and course but sound similar in their outlook so may gravitate to the same things.

Does anyone think there's any innate reasons for these claims/reports that sons and husbands are less interested? Or are we all accepting that there are societal influences on gender expectations? Just wondered

My ds is about as prepared as he can be I think. His main worry is about how his girlfriend will be getting on (not going to uni, living permanently with her controlling father rather than spending 75% of her time here). He and I spent ages talking about food yesterday (2 hour drive to visit friends!) and he's turned down the offer of a basic stock cupboard shop when we get there next weekend.

Dh works for a university so is very aware of everything. Has done open day visits, discusses choices and plans. I've done the Ikea shop this year and have done the planning for our trip, as I've had a bit more time this summer. He'll be the one wiping the tears away when we say goodbye.

Dh did all the visits with ds and I've done all the shopping and ds has sorted every thing else regarding any paperwork etc. We'll both be taking him next weekend as it's a 4.5 hour journey so we'll stay over on the Saturday night. I think it's been pretty evenly split between the three of us but ds is a but 'spectator of his own life' as a pp described above Ds did tell me he can't quite believe he's actually going after the long build up.

I loved fresher's week. We had the Eurythmics I think (may have been 2nd year) & Alexi Sayle. And the fresher's fair where I signed up for anything & everything (pot holing, anyone?).

It might just be that this is Mumsnet I guess atia, so the vast majority of posters is female , and tend not to mention what DH is up to. But it does seem that the mums are the ones who have been in Ikea, been down the bank etc, whether with male or female DCs. The DCs who are male do, on the whole, seem less engaged and more passive, though , and , in my other life as a teacher, this is largely true.

Nature? Nurture? Who knows...

DS2 will be different! But still not a social creature and still not very independent. Just more engaged. He has been invited to some raising participation thing at Birmingham University : I think they have targeted the wrong child!!

@Numbersarefun my ds is going to UEA. Quite a few of us have dc's going there so have made our own thread. Yes they do have talks a timetable of various talks and meetings during freshers week. Not sure their actual timetable starts but they have meetings for their subjects.

Atia
I suspect part of it is that mums tend to be around more in school, so more involved. Despite having meetings in the evening I can only remember 1 dad who came to a PTA meeting and if dh ever said he could go on a school trip the teachers were practically dancing a jog because they usually had to beg for one dad to go (for toilet trips). There was a waiting list for mums.

But with me and dh, he is far more relaxed about almost everything. I'm by far and away the most relaxed and sociable of my family, but his family is a whole step away from me.
He tends to go "oh they'll be fine..."
Whereas I worry about the same things I worried about for m, but can do less about it. Will they make friends? Will they cope with the work? What if something happens? etc.

I wouldn't he is less interested, just that he doesn't express it, he just assumes all the things will turn out fine.
My df was similar, dm was much more worried about the day to day (although df could get worked up about odd things. I remember well my first spring term, in the end of January mentioning I had a tutorial the other side of town at 7pm. "I hope you don't go out after dark" he said. "Never," I replied. He could work that one out if he needed to )
But I know df was as interested, he just wasn't inclined to ask about day to day things.

Just back from Ikea and PC world mammoth trip and feeling considerable more tired and much poorer... Question: what to do about insurance for laptop? My biggest worry is DD tendency to leave bags in cafes and places as she will put them under the table and forget about them. PC world offer a £10/month insurance for damage etc but does not even cover theft and certainly not losing it! Any thoughts?

Endsleigh insurance is what we've used. You say how many phones, laptops etc

Or add to your household policy

We have a a home insurance and they have a ‘student’ add-on but only for theft from halls (if forced entry). So no protection if theft during lectures/in town etc

May look at options as his laptop is expensive - so any recommendations are welcome to look at

On the DH / DS, thing, my DS1 is very engaged with the process but I think it’s because he’s older (22) and is so desperate to leave home properly for a while, he’s loved going to Ikea, choosing things for his room etc, mind you we’ve always joked that he’s a bit of a princess 🤣
DS2 (who is currently on holiday) is not very interested, has booked one thing for freshers week (he missed getting a wristband they had sold out) and knows what day he has to move in but that’s about it.
DH has just left on business abroad for two weeks, so will miss them both leaving home, classic DH, but don’t worry, we’re all laughing about it 😊

DH works at a university so has been quite happy to go on visits (partly to steal ideas I think!). We all went shopping together in a local equivalent of Dunelm. But I'm at home during the day so DD talks to me more so I'm guessing that's why I know more about registration/reading lists/ freshers etc.

Northernlurker That's a kind offer, to make yourself available to students at York.
DS2 is off there next year.
Our wires might cross! I have been here since 2005 and know your name well (though no one has heard of me ).
Our DS1 is not on Facebook and is refusing to join.
Re DHs input, well he has asked if DS wants to take fishing rods

I stayed at home and drove (got a lift) to the local poly for my degree. It's now a uni but I was more than happy to encourage DD to apply for further afield and have experiences I didn't have.

She's just taken the pile of stuff we've been accumulating up to her room to start working through the Student Room packing list to check off what we/she already has. With the aim to make a list for us to take to the shops in the week or next weekend.

She's had a rubbish day at her job - too busy/just her and the owner who left her to everything and complained if things were too slow - so she's not going to be too unhappy to leave behind the pt job for the term. It will still be there when she's back at the end of term, but she's determined to not work days when it's just her and the owner again if it can be helped. On top of everything else, she had to show her sister the ropes as she's being taken on for a few hours a week and it was down to DD1 to give her the tour and show her how stuff's done today. Ooops.

DH and DS are really close, so DH will really miss him. He is very involved in lots of ways, but I am doing any buying of stuff - not much

He's not shown any interest in joining any groups on FB so far AFAIK!

@DrMadeleineMaxwell, sympathies - DS has been working 10/12 hour shifts back to back in a local pub with a poor manager... last one today, but he has some more work in a less stressful setting next week which he's looking forward to.

Thanks, Tilly. DD's loan amount means she doesn't have to rush into trying to find work at York, and she was asked if she wants more work here in the Christmas holidays. Currently, if they stay understaffed then she's not terribly interested.

It's a life lesson learned, that work is not always fun and bosses are not always fair. She was just frustrated really.

She's then spent the evening trashing her room by dragging out and sorting everything she owns that she might be taking with her and making a list of things we need to buy for her.

On the list are a mixing bowl, biscuit tin, whisk, razors and a few other bits that we may go and get for her tomorrow after I'm finished at work.

My DS has made contact with some flat mates (uni halls) so far there are 5 girls and DS, he's hoping for a couple of lads (no idea how many will be in his flat though) he'll be ok either way though.

DS still not uploaded a photo. He says its just for the library but I hope that does't affect eg how quickly he gets accommodation allocated. That might not be until Friday which is stopping me from checking insurance quotes for his laptop (even extending our home insurance for £20 only covers in locked halls and I want cover when he's out and about)

Tried the microwave rice cooker at the weekend - not bad. DW and DS tried it out together so she taught him about proper rinsing etc (Japanese rice). He'll do some more trials this week to try and dial in the right amount of water/timing but seems positive. Lot cheaper than a small electric one but more faff washing up.

Also did a dry run pack and things look pretty good so far. If we end up with accommodation needing bedding that'll have to go on the back seat probably, and we won't have space for a big shop for him, but enough for some basics.

The halls usually provide insurance for their thigns when in their room, not when out & about. We risked not taking anything extra for DS1 in 1st year, but did for 2nd year, the renewal was £250 so we are looking to see if we can add both of them to our house insurance.

@MrKlaw - We've been practising with the microwave rice cooker too. Instructions give a weight for rice, which is not particularly helpful. We've got to: 1 mug of rice and a pint of water (must be able to find a pint glass in a student flat!). Makes quite a lot of rice, but DS eats a lot and maybe he'll cook for friends.

Thanks for all the info re bikes - as suspected DS will have to remember to lock it securely. I do think though that it will be a big help to him for getting around.