Going to university (2019/20 academic year) - and the fledgling freshers are off!

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

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My DS is an ostrich too @simbobs. He's really not engaged with the idea of uni at all. I told him I was happy for him to take a year out but he would have to find a job. I think he feels uni is the lesser of two evils. He switched to our local uni at the last minute through clearing and has committed to staying on campus but very enthusiastically. He's very young for his age and is quiet and unsociable but I'm hoping at the very least he enjoys his course and meets some like minded people. I've been so stressed by organising everything (with no help and very little information from him) that I've come down with a rash that I think might be shingles.

...not very enthusiastically, that should read

I agree Ingles, but maybe some need a stepping stone if they have never earned their own money or had an allowance?

Well, DS has just announced that he is on his college Freshers group and has said he has friends in common with some! And that he needs to get more active on FB!!!

Interesting discussion about budgeting.

My DD1 wasn’t great with money when she went to uni. She used her termly maintenance loan (with a contribution from us) to pay her termly rent. We then paid her living money into her account monthly.

She managed this fine. If she had struggled I would have paid smaller amounts more frequently. Some of her friends got into a financial mess. She worked in the holidays, did not run up an overdraft. She is good with money now and works in financial services

DD2 is about to go to uni. She has worked for a couple of years. She excellent with money so will not need any extra scaffolding from me in terms of budgeting. I will let her get on with it.

She will need support with different things. In fact I will probably be positively encouraging her to spend more money socialising which was never a problem for her sister.

That’s parenting isn’t it? Offering the support this child (young person) needs?

Microwaving rice (sorry I know you were talking about it ages ago). Theres a good recipe on Delicious website which makes perfect rice for 4. I told ds to divide amounts as required, he made it well. However I did show him the pre-frozen type that are in steaming bags and perfect for one.

A bit of a blessing in disguise - dh has broken his arm and it has forced him to cook even more as dh can't. He's been experimenting with recipes in the student cook book nosh and thinks that at uni he will do lots of nice sandwiches for lunches. He's been making egg mayo sandwiches and BLT. At least he wont starve.

Counting down to the long awaited IKEA trip tomorrow. On DDs list - coat hangers, cheese grater, bag clips and BILAR sweets - any other must buys? She has got most kitchen stuff/bedding etc.

I only want to go to Ikea for me - he reckons that we can get anything else he needs in any supermarket - true enough, but no meatballs involved. I really like their cinnamon biscuits, too.

My ds doesn't seem to want to get a separate account for budgeting but I think he needs to think again about this. Apparently he can also put money onto his student union card and use that for spending around campus. Another thing that he can't see the point of.

My DS maintenance loan doesn’t even quite cover his halls. So he uses that to pay rent directly. Then I am paying him a monthly SO to live off , first of each month from Sep through to May. Over summer he’ll need to get a job rather than sleep, eat and play Xbox. He’s never had maintenance before , never budgeted etc so I think this will be a good start. I have advised him to set up a savings account to not have it all in his current but he has point blank refused as it’s too much trouble. But at least he will not have too much at any one time in his current a/c.

I'm not sure why the banks don't offer students the type of accounts that are available to some adults. Ones meant for people who have little disposable income and/or may have had issues with addictions. So that money is ringfenced for rent and the 'must pays', leaving the rest only accessible in pre-agreed amounts. It would seem to make perfect sense for freshers.

I do agree that the DC need to start learning the tools of the 'being an adult' trade, with managing money being one of the most important ones.

I have told DS to transfer any money he has left over at the end of the month (even if it's only a couple of pounds) into his other bank account to use as an informal savings one.

On the subject of money managing, it is interestingly one of those skills that doesn't seem to be entirely correlated with academic intelligence. The same sibling who came a cropper in a bike vs pedestrian collision in Cambridge, also got into debt (the only one in the family to do so). They are still not very good with money despite having a very good career and a sharp intellect that can cut one with a knife!

I'm a little worried about my DD and budgeting, too. She's dyspraxic so finds organisation somewhat challenging, and hasn't been brilliant with the small amount of money we've been giving her /she's earned from a waitressing job over the last two years. I sat down with her the other day and we went through her budget in detail, she wrote down figures for spending each month. She wants us to leave her to handle it, to keep her loan in her account and promises she will be carefully budgeting the whole time. We'll pay her a certain amount a month above the loan so she can get by but it will be tight. It's more difficult for her to get a job because her course involves multiple full time placements, including a 10 week one over the summer, so no chance to save then through working - in fact, she needs to be saving enough for her travel then through the year so we've factored that into her accounts.

Bit worried she'll blow through it too quickly, but she'll learn I guess - we just can't really afford to bail her out if things go wrong. Have told her this in very firm language and she's adamant she will be responsible, so I do want to trust her and let her 'adult' for herself now.

We're going off to Dunelm today to get all her bits and pieces. Less than two weeks to go now...

It's a tricky one isn't it? It's not without reason that many students used to find themselves living on porridge/muesli for weeks on end as the end of term loomed (in my day anyway). I guess most will only learn through trial and error.

DD - working around her ADHS / dyscalculia brain - is almost afraid to spend money or have money spend on her. So she is very very carefull. We do not want her to work in her first semester, so she offered to take over regular household tasks because she cannot hand over "keep".
Sometimes she is a little bit too conscientious for my liking.

I think that one of the issues with the student loan is that they have an uneven amount each term. My ds will have more in the 3rd term, where his rent is lower, but far less in the first when they will need to spend more on course materials and probably also socialising as they seek to establish themselves. Knowing him he is unlikely to look for a job, either.

Mine are already at university. I find paying them a sum weekly means they never run out although parents could argue that does not help them learn to budget with a monthly wage for the future, I suppose. Also some people are better at money than othes and children just differ. I pay their rent so that cannot be spent on anything else although I doubt they would spend it on anything else anyway.

Scottish students in the very old days used to take a huge sack of oats to university with them so they could have porridge with water always on hand. I am not sure that kind of suggestion to my student children ever goes down very well though.......

monthly living exp + they have apps these days like monzo bank, or emma is a good one that can attach to any bank account and show you weekly/daily summaries of where your money is going.

I got my grant/loan back in the day and was terrible with money - got into a ton of debt. DS gets much more of the sensible genes from DW but still this is the first time he is exposed to actually having to properly look after himself.

Only just catching up on the thread, sorry. @Piggywaspushed I'm with you on the rice front! Aldi sell them for less than 60p and they taste fine 👍🏼
DD and I have talked about budgeting and have agreed that she will manage it herself and perhaps review it together at Christmas to see how she's doing. If she's off track then we can guide her back but otherwise we will leave it to her unless she asks for help. She's another one who is really careful with money, particularly since she started working this summer and earning her own wages. I'm having to encourage her to allow herself to spend money on herself for socialising, freshers and joining a couple of the societies she's interested in. I don't want her to be so frugal that it restricts her from joining in and making the most of the experience.

@juicy0 I think we'll do the same. Paying monthly but review at Christmas. I don't think DS will have any issues - if anything we might need to suggest sweeping spare money into a savings account each month, and/or spending a bit more if he is being too careful not to 'waste' our money :)

Clocked up over 1300miles getting DD to Edinburgh uni, survived despite travel sickness!

She's really happy as she's getting on well with room mate, girl next door and met another girl on her course in halls who she likes. Has seen a student job at uni and applied. She only wants to do three freshers things, but has found others to do stuff with.

Thinks she has freshers flu though. Has gone down with a bad cold and was sick last night. Her roommate isn't feel great either. Hoping she made it to her second course talk this morning!

Santander didn't have any appointments free before she left, she managed to upload her ID which they've obviously accepted as there's a card come throught for her.

Gettingthroughtheweek - how's your DS getting on?

We're transferring money over monthly (Luckily pay day is the day she goes) she has a savings account linked to her current so she might transfer it out to begin with so she doesn't spend it all at once but she's pretty frugal so I think she'll be OK. We'll play it by ear and see how she gets on.

I need to stop buying stuff now (apart from groceries), anything she hasn't got she'll be able to pick up herself once she's settled

She said this morning that she's excited which makes me happy, we were looking at the list of freshers events last night and spotted a lunch for people with ASC and social anxiety which is really great for her (runs all year long). We've been pleasantly surprised with the amount of daytime events that aren't centered around drinking (so different from my time at uni ).

@ifonly4 - Think DS has pre-fresher's flu! Is this even a thing? He looks to have tonsillitis (having never had it before - bad timing!)
Hope your DD is better very soon, and that is just a 24 hour thing. Other than that - Day Nurse is the way forward!

Most of them will get sick unfortunately. Keep an eye on what they are reporting though, dd1 ended up calling 111 for her flat mate in year 1 as she had headache, high temp, delirium and photophobia....111 sent an ambulance, paramedics were dismissive till they actually saw her then took her straight in. She was in hospital for a few days, NOT bacterial meningitis thankfully but she was still very unwell. Dd1 and another girl were both medical students who even two weeks in had the awareness to call for help so that was lucky but it reminded me how vulnerable they can be. FaceTime is great for checking out how ill they actually are!

DS does have tonsillitis and has been prescribed antibiotics. His tonsils are completely white!
7 days of antibiotics to take to get him over this before university starts.
He’s never sick!

Mine decided today to go ahead and apply for a student bank account after all. At least that means he is engaging with some part of the process. My dd didn't get freshers flu when she started 2 yrs ago, but I think she was in a minority. I

blametheparents at least he will have got it out of his system before starting.

Hope your DS feels better by the time he's ready to fly the next @blametheparents. @ifonly4 hope your DD feels better soon too - not much fun just starting to get into the swing of things and then feeling poorly :-(.

I seem to recall the equivalent when the DC started in Reception many years ago. DS had about 15 days off sick that year, most in the first term. From the boy who subsequently managed several consecutive years in primary and secondary school without any days off, you can see that was unusual for him. I think it's coming into contact with so many new people and their bugs!