Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Going to university (2019/20 academic year) - finance, flat shares, friends old and new and freshers' week to come...

981 replies

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 17/08/2019 18:48

Following on from thread 8 which filled up in just 72 hours.

OP posts:
Original poster
NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 23/08/2019 18:45

@DrMadelineMaxwell DD has had her eye on DS's much larger bedroom for months. So all change here too, including a complete makeover.

Ha @Propertyfaux that sounds about right!

DS currently helps himself to choice items in the freezer. I had to tell him he had to finish yesterday dinner's leftovers before he defaulted to something else for lunch today. He was not best pleased but he has to learn.

OP posts:
DrMadelineMaxwell · 23/08/2019 18:48

I love a makeover. Dd1 has refused her room being touched for the last 4 years for one reason or another.... revision for various things. She's ok with losing the larger room. Dd2s was only done last year so doesn't need anything doing but if dd1 wants different paper or it painting we can do it in dec when she comes back so it feels more like her space.

DrMadelineMaxwell · 23/08/2019 18:51

Also wondering how different it will be come dec when she comes home from the first term and tries to settle back into family life after 3 months of independence.

Witchend · 23/08/2019 19:02

Ds has been planning on what he is going to do with dd1's room for the last year.
Currently his plan is to turn it into a full sized aviary for his two budgies. If there's any space left he might put his drum set in there too.

He's not doing either. Grin

I found the first Christmas holidays very difficult. I felt I didn't belong anywhere, neither home at uni or family. I did get over it, but it was probably the hardest point I had at uni for settling. I think finding I hadn't a room any more would have made it far worse.

icanbewhatiwant · 23/08/2019 19:16

Ds1 has a bigger bedroom than all of us (though ours has en-suite) but I'm not letting the younger 2 change rooms as ds1 will be home for a month at Christmas, a month Easter and 3 months next summer. I think he'd feel unwelcome if he came home and his room was given away 🤣

notso · 23/08/2019 19:18

DD's bank set up seemed easy compared to others. She did it on her 30 min break from work.
She decided to go with HSBC, the £100 swayed her as she already has a railcard she's been using for visiting friends currently in university.
She said was really pushed into having a credit card though, she reluctantly agreed but cancelled it the following day.

Ragwort DD is the first of four and the youngest is 7 so a long time before I get a quiet tidy house!

bizzey · 23/08/2019 19:23

Are yous all not expecting your dc's back for the whole term .
Opps i was giving it 3-4 weeks then he migjt come home for a weekend.

He is only 1hour and 20-30 mins away on the train.
We are London so trips to the south coast are day yrips for us !

Clankboing · 23/08/2019 19:26

My two ds's are swapping rooms. I can't wait. It will finally mean that the tidy son will be in a small room and the messy son will be in a big room. The messy son's old room will have to be deep cleansed, bleached and fumigated THEN redecorated ready for when ds1 comes back from uni at Christmas though. That will be a challenge! I don't want ds1 to be put off from coming home!

notso · 23/08/2019 19:28

DD is planning on coming home for weekends here and there and we will go and visit her too. She's only an hour away.
She had a sudden thought earlier that she might not be able to come home for her birthday and asked if I'd send her a cake!

Original poster
NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 23/08/2019 19:31

@bizzey, will play it by ear on whether DS wishes to grace us with his presence mid-term. We may go to see him at some point - that's the plan.

OP posts:
bizzey · 23/08/2019 19:35

No room changing planed here ...but i am looking forward to sorting out my airing cupboard to give him things!

Piggywaspushed · 23/08/2019 19:47

When I left for uni , my DF threw lots of my stuff away, my DM left him and went to America, my DF moved house , and then got remarried (without telling me...) and then moved again. My DM has been married twice since and engaged a further two times (to two men at the same time)

Fat chance of me keeping my old room, such as it was (box room with no central heating)!

Still scarred (and that's only half the story!) Grin

Mustbetimeforachange · 23/08/2019 19:51

I've found they appreciate a visit after about 3 weeks if you live close enough to visit for lunch - also to take anything they gave forgotten. If they have a reading week they often come home then.

ZandathePanda · 23/08/2019 19:51

Piggy Shock
I have a perfectly good bedroom I never went back to as I was always at my boyfriends.

ZandathePanda · 23/08/2019 19:52

Had not have Grin

Ragwort · 23/08/2019 19:56

My DS will find his small room at uni a challenge as we live in a town house & he more or less has the run of the top floor, a large double bedroom, a large (double) room that he uses as a study (dumping ground for his clothes) & a shower room. He can't keep it tidy so no idea how he will cope with a small room.

He will be looking forward to the Christmas hols as we have a ski trip planned. We have booked a weekend at his uni town to celebrate our wedding anniversary Grin that will be about mid term, not sure if he will come home ... probably only to see his girlfriend!

DrMadelineMaxwell · 23/08/2019 20:31

She may be home for a month at Christmas and at Easter (we go away on holiday for one of those) and back in June for the summer. But 30 ish weeks of the year her room will be empty and her sister crammed into a box room. If the rooms were more evenly sized it wouldn't be an issue. If she chooses to stay longer than just the term weeks (her let is 38 weeks), to work or just to enjoy living away from home, it will be less time that she comes back for.

Above all that, we should have swapped their rooms years ago. DD1's extremely minimalistic and has practically nothing in her room. For many years DD2 had the big toys etc and should probably have been allowed the larger room. But we did the eldest-has-the-biggest-room. She will be used to a smaller room in her digs so can have the smaller room here too. I will make sure it's decorated in her style.

Will your DC be looking for work in their Uni town, or relying on holiday work? DD has already been asked by her pt casual job she got in June whether she's coming back at Christmas. I hope she'll pick up a few hours somewhere as it gives her something else to do as well as her studies and another chance to come out of herself a bit and meet more people, as well as the obvious bonus of work experience and a wage. Are student jobs easy to find when they are then home away from their uni town for a month at Christmas and Easter?

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 23/08/2019 20:36

DD is an only child, so we'll be empty nesters.

I'm hoping the house will be tidier, but in reality, I'm probably the messiest person here Wink

We had a clear out of her room after exams so once the boxes of uni supplies go with her it'll be a pretty tidy room. No real plans to touch it other than I might move the exercise bike in there (hollow laughter).

We (me and my siblings) always had our rooms left in situ for us even after we were married (redecorated etc - but still referred to as ours). Right up until the house was sold. I can't imagine not being able to do similar, although I accept it isn't possible. Our old NDN had to move once her eldest started uni because of the bedroom tax.

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 23/08/2019 20:37

*isn't always possible

DrMadelineMaxwell · 23/08/2019 20:42

She is on board with the room swap, btw. And has been heard discussing where her dsis can put all her stuff when she moves in.

I will be taking her shopping for decorating stuff before she goes, so it can be all done to her style when she comes back. Currently she says she's not bothered.

When DD2 asked her what colour she wanted her room to be she thought and said "Grey". DD2 laughed. It's already grey. :)

MrKlaw · 23/08/2019 20:43

Clothes horse? Folding freestanding (will there be room in the little rooms?) or over door hook (will that even fit on a room door, or what do you do with coats/jackets?)

We’re in final stages of shopping so should be almost done this weekend which is a relief

DrMadelineMaxwell · 23/08/2019 20:45

One bonus: our age gap means the year after DD1 graduates (already talking about doing a post grad!) then anything that's survived her uni experience that she brings home can then go with DD2.

My friend has a garage stuffed with 2 DC worth of all the stuff they collected at uni and then brought home with them.

Piggywaspushed · 23/08/2019 20:49

Just seen DS's accommodation (it's brand new) on a FB feed. It does look lovely. They are arranged in townhouses and have patios and BBQ areas. I am a bit worried, though, that students will throng on these patios and the noise will travel (he's pretty intolerant about noise!) especially as it's all paved and , more, that people will smoke and he'll have the misfortune of having a room above the patio...

Oh well, the joys of communal living.

icanbewhatiwant · 23/08/2019 20:51

@DrMadelineMaxwell my son has a summer job. He working in a lab testing the crops as they come in. So it's July to September only. I'm hoping they'll ask him back next summer. Unless he finds something better. He's a bit annoyed we suggested he work for the summer, his other friends don't have jobs, he has a group of 6 close friends, they are enjoying the summer. 3 are off to university the others 3 have finished A levels and don't know what to do next. So they've been canoeing, to the cinema and other places while ds works. I think he should definitely earn some money.

MrKlaw · 23/08/2019 20:55

Any reassurance I can use for my DS who is freaking out about the possibility of being allocated a shared room - even mentioning taking a gap year!

I mean we could rent privately in town but then he wouldn’t have any first years nearby and I think that would be worse. When I was at uni the caves had shared bedrooms and I survived.

Swipe left for the next trending thread