Open Days - Did you go?

[Faultymain5]

Just querying whether you went with your DCs or if they went by themselves (or with friends), to University Open Days. I didn't go to University straight from school. But I did everything myself as I parents wouldn't have a clue. My DH is the same, he did everything himself and he went straight from college to University. Any help, as we're expecting DS to be a little more independent, but not sure if kids today just need a little more handholding.

Hmmm interesting. I was really taken aback by the level of PR going on at the Oxford open day. College "chugger" equivalents at the station trying to drum up interest in their (outlying or otherwise less attractive) college. Amazing really.

There were definitely open days in the late 1980s but you only went to one or two. Many people hadn't even visited their university before they accepted an offer. Especially for distant ones with specialist courses.

What’s the big deal with NCS? Loads of dc do it. It’s hardly a major achievement.

Okay, well even yours truly, who finds herself grinding her teeth at the procession of sensitive DC and posters on TSR moaning about how awful university is, I'm so depressed and lonely because no-one talks to me, but of course, I can't actually initiate conversation due to my social anxiety etc, can appreciate that for some / many 16 year olds (even normally outgoing ones), spending two consecutive weeks away in unfamiliar surroundings with a bunch of random strangers is a bit daunting. Not to mention the teamwork involved in the charity activities.

But no, it's hardly a month down a coal mine or a trek across the Kalahari blindfolded, so yeah, no big deal, really.

You read TSR MarchingFrogs. Don’t you think you are a little too involved with your DC’s application to university?

You read TSR MarchingFrogs. Don’t you think you are a little too involved with your DC’s application to university?

I read TSR - i work in HE and have a general interest in all things educational. Why wouldn't I or anyone similarly inclined read TSR -
not related to our dc's uni applications at all - in fact I can guarantee I'm not reading the same threads my ds is!

I don't have kids at school yet I read the school threads on MN. As do you...

Posters like titchy who work in HE are one of the main reasons MN HE threads are useful. Other parents with recent experience of the process may provide anecdata and maybe helpful links but I'd like to say a retrospective thank you to all the HE professionals who take the time and effort to post here.

I’m on TSR. It’s full of all kinds of interesting academia topics that affect young people. In the early days I used it to get an idea about DS’s uni accommodation and also to get a feel for the reputation of some university and so what?

I am simply suggesting that it’s perhaps better for your dc to do these things on their own. I don’t understand why people get so worked up about these things.

What is the radical change?

The entire Uni and job market has changed. You can't compare today with 40/50 years ago. In those days, relatively few went to Uni and it was probably more for the "adventurous/confident" types anyway. Bright kids had lots of options for good careers that didn't need a degree.

In the old days, if you went to uni and found it wasn't for you, you'd just come home and either get a job or go to a different uni the next year.

Now, you (your parents) are saddled with thousands of pounds of loan/debt not only for the tuition fee, but also the huge accommodation costs (you only get a refund if they can re-let your room!).

There are few good jobs you can get without a degree these days, so you have to go back the following year somewhere else to try again.

We went with our daughter and did four. As a pp said, nearly every single kid had their parents there with them, if not all

I applied to uni in the 90's

My dad came with me to an offer holder day and an interview as I couldn't have got there otherwise. My boyfriend drove me to an offer holder day that was a bit closer to home.

It’s interesting to hear posters say that because they are paying they feel they are allowed to get involved...

I just wonder why it’s worth tying yourself in knots. The intensity coming from these threads is extraordinary. Most dc will end up at RG unis, ranked around the same level with similar teaching methods and reputations. Most places allocate accommodation randomly and they are only there for a year anyway. The most important aspect of accommodation is the people they live with and parents can’t control that.

@howwudufeel Me being on TSR because its a good source of educational information and has nothing to do with your dc finding out things on their own, I’m on it because in addition to useful info about universities etc I actually enjoy reading the topics. Do you never advise or share information with your child or is this another failure in parenting according to MN?

Intensity

I have a busy stressful job and four kids. It was fun and relaxing to go out for days with just dd1. We both really enjoyed it and i found it interesting to see how much unis had changed.

I don’t claim to speak on behalf of MN, just myself. I think TSR is my dc’s territory, not mine. That’s all I am saying.

The thing is universities know that parents are involved so they incorporate them into their events produce information specifically for them.
My university has someone who is responsible for working with and engaging parents - it is so important when working with widening participation groups. Parents have a strong influence on a young persons career decisions so it's important that their knowledge is correct and up to date.

I don’t really have a massive problem with parents accompanying their dc for a nice day out. That in itself is fine. However, it does seem quite clear that universities have an issue with troops of people coming along for a day out with one potential student, parents monopolising Q&As and people starting open days in year 10. That’s my real issue.

Benes I really believe that the dc who fit the widening participation criteria are those least likely to come with parents.

Do you work in HE how?

What do you base that assumption on how?

I am simply suggesting that it’s perhaps better for your dc to do these things on their own. I don’t understand why people get so worked up about these things.

And in many cases, the student/parents may feel that it's best for the student to have parental support and guidance. One size doesn't fit all. There are lots of shy/unconfident/disabled students who would be denied the opportunity otherwise.

Actually the biggest difference is that in the 1980s when I went to university the students were considered by the university to be lucky for being offered a place . It was a sellers market. In the same way that I would never have questioned a tutor and was regularly shouted at my another the university open days were about information not sales.

Now it’s very much a buyers market , the universities are frantically trying to sell themselves to potential students with freebies and ridiculous promises about the courses.

Particularly in the AAB market to BBB level it’s cut throat , though why they think someone would choose a university because of the free bag/ pen/ reusable mug/ etc etc goodness knows. That said ds was very taken with one who had music blaring loudly all day which could have come from his playlist!! And he has been heavily schooled in the ‘ buyer beware’ approach by both ourselves and his school.

I really believe that the dc who fit the widening participation criteria are those least likely to come with parents.

I'd say the opposite. "Privileged" kids who've been to boarding schools, private schools, tutors, etc., are more likely to be "worldly wise" and have probably been digging water holes in Africa and climbing the Himalayas in their school holidays. I'd say it's the less confident, less worldy wise from disadvantaged areas who more need parental support to go to uni open days.

Benes I know that from our own experiences and those of friends and family that a lot of people simply don’t have the time and/or can’t afford to go with their dc. Our friends who do not own a car and who struggle financially can’t even afford to send their dc to open days. This is the reality for lots of young people.

Don’t disagree with that Kazzy but a lot of their parents can’t get time off or afford to go with them.