Can a full time mum do this?

[RobinHobb]

Right. Let me get this down and organise my thoughts. I'd really be grateful for input.

For ten years I've had a good well paying very competitive job. I've done well and been promoted consistently but been completely disinterested in it, just doing it because I had to.

My dream has always been to do a phd in a completely different field (biosciences) but it's never happened. After Dd1 I went back to the well paying high flying job and HATED being separated from her, and so after Dd2 when my employer offered me redundancy with a big pay out I took it with both hands. Now for the last two years I've been a SAHM to DC who are 3.5yo and 1.5yo. Because I was bored and I'm that kind of person I did some OU modules in my subject of interest and loved it.

Last month I applied for a MSc in biosciences at a top flight university in London, thinking nothing would come of it. They have replied and offered me a position this year...!!!

But here is the thing. DH and I agree we can pay for full time childcare while I do my degree out of the payout I got . Our current part time nanny is willing to go full time and the kids adore her. So that's good.

But our nanny can't drive so I would have to drop Dd1 to preschool (where she currently is) at 830 in the morning and pick her up 3pm, 4 days a week, and at 12pm 1 day a week to fit with the teaching time table in term 1. Term 2 is less contact time but I will need to do lab work for the dissertation so I'll still need to be away

I don't know if I can do it. I'll be surrounded by bright 20 somethings, and I'll be running back and forth to pick Dd1 up from preschool which is 90minutes commute away from uni so basically limited to three hours at the uni at any stretch. This is without reckoning with the shitty guilt fairy who will be telling me off for leaving the kids (dd2 still so young!) to pursue my stupid ridiculous degree.

Can I do it? Is it even possible with these constraints? I am feeling like it is impossible to do a MSc with these kind of restrictions. It's a tough course leading up to a phd. They won't do a part time course which would be ideal.

All thoughts and input welcome!

@MeadowHay
You're definitely echoing the little voice in my head who is saying very similar things about waiting till DC are older. But then what's the point? If I wait till they are both in school that's 2022! And of course after school club at their school only goes till 5pm and since lectures go till 5pm for most courses I'd still be trying to find someone to do pick up.
I don't know who hard it is to get into MSc courses but the thing is I don't have an undergraduate degree or any experience in biosciences (completely different background) so I was really happy and surprised to get in. Anyway, i am very hard working - used to working all hours of the nights...I've been working in banking for years and pretty organised and diligent so I think I can do it. I really hope I can! If I do manage then I can think about next steps next year... let's see! Fingers crossed

@PurplePiePete
That's a good point! Thank you! At the moment I've only agreed to pay for theory and practical test which is c£100 but let's see what happens....

@coffeeagogo and @Broken11Girl
Thank you! I really appreciate hearing that others have done it.. and all words of encouragement

@gerispringer
Colouring books!! :-)
If it comes to it and it's an emergency I might get DH to take annual leave and step in, but that's like if it's the day before exam as we are agreed that as principle bread winner he needs to stay focussed at work.
But I'm really encouraged and thank you for the post. A lot of people have mentioned school age children when doing degrees and obv my kids are much younger than that (and I'm a very over protective mum) which is what is causing me so much angst re child care.
I'm really looking forward to it now and getting out of the house and learning new stuff :-)

@FinallyHere
The nanny has said she wants to do the test and pass it. She asked for a raise after we spoke about her going full time; I told her we couldn't possibly justify the cost of a raise if we were paying for cabs for the school run! She sees that, and said to me she is booking test in a month, so let's see...
She really want a full time position so will be flexible if I push her, and she'll have to understand if I'm in London and south west trains have had a meltdown yet again that I just literally can't get back. I think that's just part and parcel of being a nanny but I can't tell her the role is till 5pm and then get home at ten past 5 constantly or that kind of thing. Or tell her with one days notice that I'll be late the next day.
But, I'm also looking for other nannies who can drive because I don't want to put all my eggs in one basket!
I'm more relaxed now about this I think; now I'm getting my head into the "studying" mind set..

You have definitely got this 😀

@sashh
Thank you! DH working all hours of day and night so he can't do pick ups or drop offs but that's fine, I hope nanny can manage and at worst - it's just preschool! In extremis dd1 can stay home once in a blue moon when all forms of transport have failed us to get her there. But very much hoping with the right motivation nanny will learn to drive. It's not that difficult like you say... if one wants to do it...

Has your nanny indicated what level of pay rise she expects? Is she currently on a reduced rate because you're at home? It seems odd to complain about being in sole charge of two children. Many families near me who use nannies have three or four children, generally only one child being at school and the others being with the nanny for all of most of the day.

Gosh a lot of scafices to achieve your dream!

You say you don’t have much in the way of experience in sciences, do you know what career you might want at the end?

Don’t mean that to sound rude, you seem very driven and hardworking.

@OnTheEdgeOfTheNight
She hasn't indicated. I'm letting things percolate a bit... I don't think sole charge of two kids one of whom will be at preschool every morning till noon requires a massive pay rise. Like you said many nannies have 3/4 kids in charge. She's paid in the middle of the range for nannies in our area so her pay rise won't be excessive....But at the moment she only works for me a couple of hours a few mornings a week. I'm going to see how she gets on with the test by June otherwise new (driving) nanny it is. If she passes then we will discuss her new contract hours and pay rise. Let's see...

@FinallyHere
Thank you!

@Biscusting
I know; it seems like such a huge step! But I've been thinking about this for years and DH is supportive, I've had a redundancy pay out from last job two years ago, bursary to do this degree, dd1 goes to reception next year so timing seems right.
If this works out I'd like to consider a career in research; it might require a phd first. But I want to take things one step at a time and not going to freak myself out by considering what logistics etc I have to navigate next year. IF I pass! I'm encouraged by all the lovely MN who have done this with kids in tow, and am willing to put my head down and study evenings and weekends etc, and hope I can do it.

@RobinHobb (approve of the username btw) Getting your dream job once you’ve had kids feels amazing. It’s so worth it. I had pretty much written my career off when I had my DC but I worked hard and it got so much better. Go for it.

Have you spoken to the university about childcare? The uni I work at offers significantly discounted childcare for students at the uni nursery. This includes PhD students.