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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Heading towards year 2 exams (uni 2017)

998 replies

brizzlemint · 21/03/2019 02:50

Starting uni 2017 continued.
Tales of radiators, errant boilers, tomatoes and potato mashers...oh and university students.

OP posts:
bigTillyMint · 09/11/2019 17:45

@Horsemad, we all loved DSs gf, but she was v upset by the breakup so it's all a bit awkward keeping in touch Sad

@latedecember1963, there's not many DILs that can say that about their MIL!

Horsemad · 09/11/2019 17:59

@bigTillyMint Sad that's a shame. It is tricky if they split up, isn't it?

bigTillyMint · 09/11/2019 18:04

Well, I didn't expect it to last really long term as they are so young, but she fitted right in our family. It's the way it goes!

ErrolTheDragon · 09/11/2019 18:20

DD has acquired a boyfriend this year, it sounds like they're pretty well suited. No idea if we're likely to meet him any time soon.

Xenia · 09/11/2019 19:34

Congratulations to lateD's son on his engagement. I have one of my 5 married so far.

My two at university seem to be fine at the moment. One has a girl friend. Both seem to be working hard.

latedecember1963 · 10/11/2019 14:43

Thank you for the warm wishes. 🤗

These years seem to have turned into transition years for us. Our mantra has been to give the boys roots to grow and wings to fly but of course that's easy enough when they're 6 and they're just going to a friend's house for tea.
Like you, Haffdonga, we aren't sure where DS will settle in the long term. He could easily meet the love of his life this year. He does have to return to do his final year at Birmingham at least.
Yes, I'm very lucky, BTM. She's just made up 87 and is such fun to be around!

SMaCM · 11/11/2019 19:20

Going back to how helpful DD's dissertation tutor is - he had heard about her laptop breaking down and when she went to see him today, he had a replacement to lend her if she needed it. She was able to tell him we had sorted it, but that is one of those people who just goes above and beyond the minimum expectations. I am so pleased she has this person to help her through.

ErrolTheDragon · 12/11/2019 16:56

Really good to know there's that sort of support if it's needed.

bigTillyMint · 13/11/2019 08:55

@SMaCM, that's great!
DD really likes her dis tutor too - on her wavelength so far, thank God!

Meanwhile the house saga continues. They started tanking out the basement sitting room over 2 weeks ago. At the weekend the floor was soil with 2 big holes filled with water..... front door left open all the time so no security for their stuff as no individual locks on bedroom doors, no privacy as bedrooms on same level as front door.... They have a meeting with the LL tomorrow. I have no idea what compo they should aim for, but 7 weeks so far of no sitting room as well as inconvenience.... Sad

SMaCM · 13/11/2019 08:57

BTM that sounds horrible.

Horsemad · 13/11/2019 09:05

Shock bTM that's not on at all. Is there any way of getting alternative accommodation?
Very stressful as well as inconvenient. Sad

SMaCM - it's good to know the tutors are stepping up if/when required.
A friend's DS had the most awesome tutor when things went horribly wrong in his final year, such a good person. They wouldn't have got through it without his help.

My DS is fine, we are off to see him soon, so I'm looking forward to that very much. Smile

bigTillyMint · 13/11/2019 09:12

@Horsemad, I think they don't want to move/wpuld be difficult to get a place for 5/difficult to get out of contract/too much going on studywise..... Hopefully it's nearing the end but a truly horrible experience for them.

Horsemad · 13/11/2019 15:02

Yep I can appreciate the hassle moving out would involve.
I hope it's soon sorted for them, it must be miserable living in the chaos of it all.

Xenia · 13/11/2019 15:59

One of mine had some potential tenants for next year coming round today already.

bigTillyMint · 13/11/2019 18:58

@Xenia, I can't see DDs LL wanting potential tenants round for the foreseeable Grin

latedecember1963 · 14/11/2019 08:15

They must be frozen with the front door open. The landlord needs to fund some thermal onesies for them all. 😁 What happens if they all need to be out of the house at the same time re security?

Needmoresleep · 14/11/2019 08:24

DD has just messaged to say it is snowing in Bristol.

Tanking is a huge job. Their heating bill must be through the roof. I personally think it is unacceptable for the landlord to be charging them rent. After all he is saving the cost of alternative accommodation. They need to get advice and then write clear, polite letters of the sort that would read well in any subsequent arbitration. They should also take photos. Lots of them and date stamped, plus keep a diary.

It depends on how much appetite they have for conflict, which is why an assertive parent might be useful, but I doubt any court would support an eviction if there was a clear letter stating that they are witholding rent during the period of disruptive building work accompanied by photo evidence, and a diary listing problems like doors open etc.

Congratulations to the future MIL!

Malbecfan · 14/11/2019 17:22

Congratulations latedecember1963

DD1 texted today that she has secured a placement in Germany this summer with the same company she went to last summer in the UK. She is studying German as well as Materials Science and so this will be an amazing chance if it works out. Her bf is out there and she has been to visit a couple of times. I don't think he'll be in the same city, but a bit closer together. She asked if I minded her being away for her 21st birthday, which was sweet but unnecessary as I won't be home either (annual school tour that she did herself for 5 years). DH has suggested giving her an "official" birthday like the Queen when we're all around to celebrate a bit later in the summer.

I've booked my hotel room so I can pick her up. There is a major ball the night before my preferred day so she won't be in any fit state to pack & sort herself out. I decided to leave here late morning & drive to Cambridge in daylight, stay over and then do a really early pick up & pack on the Sunday morning. Annoyingly I have a rehearsal in Devon that afternoon so she needs to be ready, but it doesn't normally take more than an hour to load up, then she can sleep all the way home.

DD2 comes home the following weekend, but said she'll be good to go on the Saturday. Lots of driving again for me then!

latedecember1963 · 14/11/2019 17:56

Thank you, Needmoresleep and Malbecfan. 😊
That's great about the placement in Germany and a good opportunity to really immerse herself in the language and even better that she will be nearer to her boyfriend.

DS2 will be away for his 21st in March, but we are going to see him in February so he'll end up with a string of celebrations.

Where has this term gone? Rehearsals for the YR nativity play are in full swing at work and I think our local Christmas lights switch- on is this weekend.

ErrolTheDragon · 14/11/2019 19:08

Great placement, Malbec! I'm not sure DD has started looking for one yet - I think she's hoping for one with a consultancy and I get the impression some of them do the selection rather late.
She's planning to come home by train for Xmas, and not at all at Easter. She seems to have a full (but happy) life at the moment. We might go and visit her sometime next term or Easter vac.

Horsemad · 15/11/2019 00:44

My DS will be abroad for his 21st - a group of them are 'going somewhere' and that's all I know!

I'm still up at this time because when I arrived home from the cinema he messaged me asking would I like to critique his essay...! ConfusedGrin

latedecember1963 · 15/11/2019 08:03

It's a good job we love them, Horsemad. 😂

Xenia · 15/11/2019 08:44

Ah, snow in Bristol. I did tell them in September to take all their warm clothes as it would be cold by December so I hope they at least each took a pair of gloves (twin 1 has still not had his missing ski glove his friends apparently brought home for him at Easter - I think we will have to write that off - almost brand new, £60).

Mine haven't mentioned the snow but I know when I spoke to one yesterday about something he was in the middle of an essay with a deadline so working hard.

I hope the 21st goes well. Mine just went out with friends (one of the twins) and the other had friends round for cocktails at the flat.

I tihnk they are both very busy at them oment with work and I am hoping progress has been made on dissertations. I am not hopeful the job applications they should be making are being put in, nor the one who has not yet applied for the post grad course has done his application.

bigTillyMint · 15/11/2019 08:50

Well done to your DD on the placement @Malbecfan.

Sympathies @Horsemad DD sometimes asks me to look at her essays Shock

Well, good news on the house front - they had a meeting with the LL yesterday, DD calculated what she and the girls would be reasonable compensation, prepared what she wanted to say and how to counter his arguments and spoke for all the others. They are now licking her boots, especially the boys (who are doing law!!!) who were will ing to accept less - she got them 50% rent returned for this term which was way more than the LL originally said he would pay and has avoided them having to go through small claims and more stress and tension. I am really proud of her Smile
And the work should be finished today, hopefully decorating next week...

RedHelenB · 15/11/2019 08:57

Got dd2 at home right now and she's getting me to look over her eassay too! At least History is easier for me than dd1s dentistry stuff. Dd1 is coming home tonight. So as we're all home , tomorrow will be Christmas cake making and tree decorating Seems ridiculously early but I won't switch the lights on beyond testing them until 1st December.