Student snobbishness?

[keysofhope]

Hello there,

I was just wondering if anyone else has had their children complain of snobbish course mates? DS goes to a place full of very very privileged students, many of whom from the most famous boarding schools.

He finds many to be quite snobbish. He says that he seems to think that people think him a bit thick and instantly to be working class as he is from Scotland. They also assume as he is not from London that equally he must be dirt poor and only got into said university for access reasons. They also think that as he went to a Gaelic state school, then he must once more be not worth their time.

What DH finds funny (who is from the sort of background as those in complaint), is that many of them are second generation immigrants with parents who've done well, but now see themselves as the English gentleman sort.

For the note of it, being working class is great (my mum was), but I am putting it like this as it's a definite looking down ones nose for it.

CherryPavlova, of course it is not inevitable that social contacts are restricted by finances. When I was at uni we organised social activities so that the whole class would be able to participate because we valued each other's company and didn't want to miss out on socialising together.

Goodbye

I've heard it all now. Princess Towers and 'there are some boys who just can't handle black tie'.
Who makes this shit up?

This reminds me of the movie Titanic where the new money buxom lady dresses Jack up in her son's black tie suit. In the end, he won the day.

Gosh, but snobbery does my nut.

Did it autocorrect to handle? Should have said afford black tie.

Princess Towers was the colloquial name those living there used. It was merely the more expensive halls so richer kids inhabited them together. That tended to mean their first social contacts were, like themselves, from more affluent stock.
I’m sure they did class events for everyone but I think mostly my daughters friends weren’t/aren’t necessarily from her course but from clubs and societies/ friends of boyfriend/housemates and housemates friends.
I know she tried the language club but there were only four people at the meeting so she didn’t go again. Her boyfriend is a golfer so she has golfing friends. She dances, so has dancing friends.

since we pay for the dresses,

Lol - you shoulda gone to primark or ASOS then!

Boys - some wore djs, others dark (cheap!) lounge suits with a bow tie.

If she was in Holland though unsurprising at the number of wealthy students she met given those halls cost £8k a year!

Point is that Exeter, as with anywhere, has a mix. People generally find like minded people to be friends with. 'Balls' don't have to expensive, and there is a huge variety of clubs and societies, from ski club to the Socialist society. Something for everyone.

Haha affluent stock. Love it.

Although yes I quite concede that niece - love her as I do - might well have fallen in with a ghastly braying crowd with zero sensitivity to other students. Nevertheless, they were there in Exeter, and clearly ghastly. Sometimes the same sorts of Exeter student come to the pub I live next door to (I live in a 'honeypot' village nearby), and they bray there as well.

Goodbyestranger
There have been a number of posters on this thread saying that their dcs’ fellow students were snooty and looked down on their dc as they didn’t go to public school.
You are also dismissing and sneering at your niece’s friends because of their accents.

Titchy - yes a black lounge suit wth a white shirt and bow tie is pretty much indistinguishable from most Dinner jackets / suits - if you want to go to a college party which is "black tie " this absolutely fine. So requires affording a suit - yes , but a white shirt can be very inexpensive and bow ties are equally not expensive. If you at Oxford you need a black suit & white shirt for matriculation - added cost - a black bow tie. Also perhaps best to get a few things spilled down it at end of term balls / parties as it will be "trashed" anyway after exams.

I think all students can fall in with a crowd - of whatever type. I do think in the Venn diagram of different types of students , the intersecting bit is a very great deal bigger than is sometimes made out.

I think both groups of them should be kind to others. Braying, rah , chav are all particularly nasty words which I hope none of us or our children use in real life.

Xenia, I've never agreed with you more.

This is a very strange post.
I'm sure there are snobs on his university course. Sounds like you're a snob too.

None of my kids would ever use a term like "posh inbreds", none of them would ever start anything. They take people as they find them.

However, let's not pretend that poor people insulting privileged people is quite the same as privileged people insulting poorer people.

"Posh" doesn't have the same negative connotations as "posh".

And as for going to university with 34 of your closest friends, words fail me. It's really sad that young people would be so unadventurous and content to stay within their bubble.

You're quite wrong dapplegrey. I found the description of incidents involving these students repellent. I never heard their accents at all, although I'm aware of their schools, pretty much.

Xenia, braying is exactly the sound made by loud groups. I find the noise overbearing when they're right next door to my house, much nastier than the nam. And the name rah has been used at least since the generation before mine was at university. I think I would have counted as a rah myself, on accent alone, probably.

Ffs, "Posh" doesn't have the same negative connotations as "chav".

The name, not the nam.

The behaviour and demeanour is what matters. Some is clearly very unpleasant, at certain unis.

This I agree with "The behaviour and demeanour is what matters." - It can be unpleasant any which way. Many independent school pupils will find some other independent school pupils a bit brash and not to their taste as will most other nice and congenial students from whichever school etc.
I do think that at most universities there are friends to be made. If the loud ones are irritating - look elsewhere for friends . They are not better necessarily - just louder. ( And at this point I shall not post my post about grandmothers and eggs )

Ffs, "Posh" doesn't have the same negative connotations as "chav"

Of course it does if it’s used as an insult and means of putting down, sneering and excluding.
Re the student who called your son a chav and pikey - what sort of insults did your son use?

I don't think it does dapplegrey, not without qualification such as posh git, posh twat etc. Whereas chav and pikey are stand out insults.

what sort of insults did your son use?

Certainly in the text conversation I saw he hadn't used any. But then he's a confident young man who doesn't go in for name calling. Basically this previously pleasant enough lad turned on him when his sense of entitlement, to a lovely but shy girl (who later went out with my son for a few years) was threatened.

And his first mode of attack was my son's apparently inferior social class. Nice.

An English student or sociology student could do us a good paper on particularly words I expect and how they change over time. Posh git is probably nasty. Posh is not partiuclarly insulting - port out staboard home etc. Pov sounds names; from poverty does not to the same extent. Also it can depend how people say things and your manner too so it is hard to generalise. My sons' pakistani friends calling each other paki in banter (probably not a good idea) is probably not nastily meant in any sense but it would best if white students didn't use the term etc etc.

I don't think students should be noisy and loud at all. but I am sure noise issues are a problem in student areas. As I went to bed at 9 and up at 5 at university and had poems published in the university magazine about noise at night being bad I was not exactly little miss popular on that front but I stuck to my guns!

However if we just mean some students can talk more clearly than others and loudly but appropriately in a class and others may mumble and cannot be heard then that would not presumably be braying. One of the things I want me sons to have is a voice that can carry a room and clarity of speech and diction sufficient that they can be understood (as I do an awful lot of public speaking).

Agree with all that Xenia. Braying for me is not just the fact of a posh accent, or even an affectedly posh accent, but has to do with the manner in which its used, and volume, and content as well. So absolutely not purely accent at all. We had rather too many Exeter students round our way giving their opinions on the 'class war' being waged against them in the British countryside around the time of the Hunting Act. Perhaps I should let it go after fourteen years but a) I tend to harbour grudges b) they were very loud indeed, esp after a few drinks and c) I'm peculiarly fond of foxes (thriving in the village now - beautiful creatures:)).

Yes yes "braying" to me is not not being able to project your voice when appropriate , it's just doing that thing little children often do when they cannot modulate their voice & feel they have to speak at full volume at all times and don't realise in a group of people it is quite loud and a bit annoying to people around them. Cute sometimes and forgivable in small children - not so much so at 18 / 20 ish.

We are all in agreement in that case. I certainly remember a train journey when a nice lady near us told my children they were using "outdoor voices" (and that certainly shut them up - good for her).

What are the non posh students called who scream and shout in the street at 3 am in the morning when they are turfed out of the clubs and are vomiting in the Street? These students are seen in nearly every university city. I’m sure MN students can find a collective noun for them.

All sections of society have rather loud types! Or what about the heavy drinkers and dope takers who spend all their maintenance loan in the first month? They might not bray but they are certainly a problem.

By the way, Exeter and Edinburgh have expensive halls where the better off students live. Bristol, oddly, has many ex boarding school pupils in the cheapest halls. No one else wants the rather dated accommodation with one bathroom between 6. Cheaper rents mean they have more money for entertainment!