Oxbridge Freshers 2018

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

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A chat/support thread for parents of undergrads who have entered the quite frankly slightly odd world of Oxbridge.

Apparently we are parents to undergrads now

So our conversation usually goes 'It's hard work here!!' My reply 'It is Oxford remember.' Have come to accept that DS has adopted procrastination as his strategy for getting through his degree. He must be really bright to pull it off at all but would be utterly brilliant if he worked. Just a teeny bit frustrating. Got to love him though.

DD is visiting DS for the weekend...I can't quite believe it! They don't get on particularly well, but much better since he went away to university. I sent her with some cash for them to have a treat, and I've seen evidence on Insta of them having lunch in Fitzbillies, something we never could afford when DH was an undergrad!

Had a bit of a wobbly week but hoping to have a new room this week. Tutor got her bumped up the list. We are going up next weekend.

Hope yours are all ok. I think she is coping quite well.

roses so glad that things are getting sorted for your DD!

You'd fallen off my TIO!

That's good Roses, I hope she gets her new room.

That must feel a bit odd Panda, but I bet you are proud of them.

dds course is very repetitive, same pattern every day apart from Sunday's. I think she's pretty content at the moment. They get to start their room ballot soon, so we've been discussing the merits of various locations. It's hard to make a list though, not knowing how those ahead of her will choose.

DD is back home, having had a fantastic weekend with DS. I can't quite believe how well they got on. Very thankful!

Glad to hear your two got on so well, Panda.

Had a lovely weekend visiting DD, watching dance showcase and meeting DD's college friends at Parent's Lunch. The weather was an added bonus!

DD had first choice in the room ballot for second year. She has a relatively small room this year so it will lovely for her to have more space and an ensuite next year.

They will be home again in no time at all. (I tried to preempt the laundry marathon by bringing a pile back this weekend!)

DS has just got his room ballet number and he’s low down the list, which means he could be off site but this is still apparently very unlikely. It depends upon next years offers and what those above him choose. I really hope he’s on site given the wobbles we’ve had this year! Some of his friends have opted for a house but these are further out distance wise and didn’t appeal. He said there has been some griping about places on the list already and some not happy about the way houses were allocated. Next year, he’ll get one of the higher places in the ballot so he’ll get something good for his final year. Fingers crossed for on site next year though!

Dd is squatting in her room next year, she doesn’t really like change, had a nice room this year so that works well for her.
Was very proud of her this week, for some reason instead of a desk and proper chair, she had a wonky kitchen chair and a gateleg table that you couldn’t sit under. She emailed the housekeeper, explained she was keeping the room next year and asked if she could possibly have a better arrangement. Housekeeper came , was horrified to see what she had to work on and next day sorted a great desk and proper chair. Dd is so shy and socially anxious that I am amazed she was able to do that.amazed and happy !
Our fledglings are spreading their wings !

That's amazing Purple, good for your dd! Nice that she can keep her room.

Ofteninaspin, I'm glad for your dd :)

Fingers crossed for all our dc that they get rooms that they like. dds number is reasonable. She knows what she would like, somewhere quiet being the main priority. I really hope she gets it.

My DD had a terrible day. In floods of tears. Advertised like others did on freshers group that she was going for a JCR post but it broke rules for some technical reason and was told publicly. She feels humiliated and an idiot as she like many Oxbridge types doesn't get things wrong too often. Then is upset because she cried in front of friends about something so trivial. Also had lots of rejections recently for things she applied for. New experience of course!!!!
I may go for lunch on Saturday and mopped up virtual tears tonight. Her course is very demanding but enjoyable and this is all down to tiredness!

Your poor dd Sunndowne, they are getting exhausted. dd sounded so tired on the phone today too. Stuff that would cause a bit of a wince and embarrassment feels mega. It's good that she could come to you and have a bit of mopping up.

Thank you.
And fingers crossed for them all with rooms.

Poor DD Sundowne - hope she soon manages to move past this.

I don't know where DS is in the ballot - whatever happens he won't have such a lovely room as this year.
Am I allowed a wee brag? I'm just on a train on the way home from London, having spent a huge number of hours travelling in order to spend an hour watching DS ( and all the other recipients) receive their Institute of Engineering and Technology scholarships. Very proud of him!

Congratulations to your DS Panda, that's super impressive!
Sorry to hear about your DD Sundowne, it's so hard when things knock their confidence, hopefully it won't stop her from putting herself forward for things in future, that would be a real shame.

DD has opted out of the ballot and has secured a house with some close friends for next year. It's not college owned but is unofficially "linked" to college having been passed down from 2nd years to 2nd years for as long as anyone can remember.
It's fairly close to the group of college houses known as the party houses, so they can be sociable when they want to, but far enough away that they can retreat for peace and quiet when needed.
I think it will be a shock for DD not to be able to roll out of bed and just walk down the corridor/across the road for tutorials and lectures - she will be a good 20 minutes cycle ride from college.
She's looking forward to a year or 2 of being more independent and plans to live in college again for 4th year.

That sounds like a really good plan Lobster. I think it must be a bit stifling to be in Hall worrying about fire alarms and cleaners. Will she have a decent kitchen?

You must be so proud Panda! What a good occasion to travel for.

I hope today feels like a better day for your ds Sunndowne.

Stupid autocorrect, I didnt catch it in time. Dd not ds!

Sundowne I too hope that your dd has a better day today. It is so much harder to cope with setbacks when tired.
Lobster That's an interesting solution to second year accommodation.

A "decent kitchen" is definitely a priority for DD next year. Cooking facilities in the tiny staircase pantry are basic and DD and her friends sit in the corridor if they want to eat together. DD can't eat a full meal in college before dance class or rehearsal so she cooks for herself several times a week. I am sure this must be the same for anyone involved with a club or sport that clashes with college mealtimes.

Forgot to add congratulations to Panda's DS on his scholarship (what an achievement!) and how lovely that you were able to be there.

That’s really lovely Panda, he’s done fantastically well there! Proper proud Mum moment!

Nice one panda DS!
DD is recovered somewhat but had a bit of upheaval re: accom. I need to keep her anonymity so will be a bit vague. But she has some special circumstances that college knew about but was told because of ballot system DD needed to disclose this to accommodation officer who is a fellow student on her course! Being the diplomatic and assertive DD she is( and I'm so proud of) she was able to highlight that perhaps this was not fair! Anyway, a face to face chat with a very nice lady seems to have sorted it to a degree.
And also she has a shed load of work.
So DD is having it a bit hard at moment but until now has been doing so well! So tiredness is not helping. A rest coming soon.
House sounds nice lobster!

good for your dd Sunndowne, especially being able to stand up for herself when she's feeling vulnerable and exhausted.

Thanks for congratulations, it feels like here is a safe place to be able to celebrate a bit!

Glad your DD could stand up for herself Sunndowne
spin - hope your DD gets accommodation where she can cook to her heart's content. DS seems to manage quite well on 2 rings in the gyp, good job really as very little college accommodation has anything better!

dd managed to secure the room she wanted. It is lovely. There's a slight hiccup in that her gyp only has a microwave. (maybe a microwave combo oven? I might suggest she goes back to take another look)
Any good student microwave cookbooks?