Oxbridge Freshers 2018

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

old thread

A chat/support thread for parents of undergrads who have entered the quite frankly slightly odd world of Oxbridge.

Apparently we are parents to undergrads now

Sorry, crashing your thread again. DD1 is a 2nd year at Cambridge.

£90 for a ball is not a bad price (apparently). Last year DD went to her college's Snow Ball in the first term which looked amazing. She was then given some advice from a lad who was in the year above her at school. They were quite friendly at school and had consecutive lectures last year so chatted quite often. He told her to apply to work at the balls. In addition to getting paid, you also got to spend some time there. The only downside was that DD had to give the colleges that accepted her to work there 3 cheques, and of course what 18 year old has a cheque book? The bank of mum had to come to the rescue! They hold the cheques as security in case you don't turn up to work. DD worked at the Trinity May Ball which is meant to be the pinnacle. She reckoned she opened 500 bottles of fizz that night - she was certainly a dab hand at prosecco bottles in the summer holiday. She really enjoyed it, even though she was working and it saved her over £200.

My DD said similar re working at other college's balls - she didn't do it last year but intends to this year. Actually she didn't go to any balls last year - her college has a garden party instead.

DS not mentioned any balls yet, but we did buy him a dress shirt when DH needed a new one, as they were on offer at the time, we are hoping he will be able to buy a dinner suit second hand!
He is coming come tomorrow for the weekend, his old youth leader is getting married so he is coming back for the service. It will be lovely to see him.

DS also returning home (with crutches!).

Oh crikey hubble. Hope he's okay. Thinking he won't be cycling anywhere soon. Hope he lives near lectures.

My DD has been sad today about her workload compared to friends elsewhere so she's booked lots of social events for this weekend to get some balance. Feeling better tonight now much of a tricky essay is done.

Oh no hubble hope he’s ok!

Did you say why he is on crutches Hubble? I don't know if I missed it.

I should ask dd about balls. I dunno if they are her thing. Malbec you are always welcome, your insight is very helpful :) Working at them sounds like a good strategy for someone who would like to go along but isn't that keen on the whole socialising and drinking thing.

DS is home for the weekend too, with lots of washing. It’s my birthday so it’s been lovely to see him, although I think he came to see his girlfriend really 😂. He’s out for the night with her then getting on with the reading he’s brought home tomorrow. It’s nice to be able to spoil him a bit though! He seems so grown up already.

Happy Birthday Bake!

Happy Birthday Bake!!
DS badly sprained ankle - not sure how. He is home now and I am really concerned that he is finding it difficult to stay on top of work.

Happy Birthday Bake!

I think it's normal for them to find the workload overwhelming, especially as they adjust to the standard needed.

Thanks Kitten. Feeling really emotional tonight and questioning the decision to go to Oxford (in my head). Does anyone else have DC struggling with work?

Does he feel worried Hubble?
It's really hard that it's totally and completely out of our hands, but I can guarantee that there will be lots struggling and that I suspect it will come good, colleges want their students to succeed and while it is supposed to be very hard, they've all been selected because they are capable of doing well, even if it doesn't feel it at the moment.

Well he is home! So lovely to see him, he seems so happy and settled. :)

Thanks Kitten.

Hubble hope your DS is ok.

Just spoke to DD who seems to be working super hard to keep on top of things but says that the workload seems to vary hugely depending on subject. For Modern Languages the language work on top of the literature essays mean that it is hard to feel as though you are ever completely on top of things but I'm hoping that she gets better at achieving a work-fun balance as the term continues. I think sometimes it can feel as though everyone else is breezing through the work and then burning the candle at both ends but that is not the case for most I'm sure.

DS has found the workload intense but manageable. He had two essays due at the same time and, purely by chance, mentioned this at a tutorial and the tutor suggested delaying the deadline for her essay so that they could just make notes and have an extra two days to write the essay. I wonder if this might help your DS hubble, DS and I were talking about how different it is to school and I think our DC’s are still adjusting to the new way of working. It was pure luck in DS’s case but he says it has given him the confidence to speak up in future if he’s In the same situation again. He has also said how the expectation is that they use every minute up to the essay deadline to work on it, quite different to school again where he could get work done in advance and have some down time. They are all doing brilliantly; they are living away from home in a completely new environment and it’s only natural that there will be a few hiccups along the way: the important thing is Oxford chose them, knowing far more about them than our DC’s did about Oxford.

What happened to your ds hubble poor lad.

Sorry to hear about the struggles. DD seems OK, is managing her MH which has been fine and enjoying the course. She says she hasn't made real friends yet but likes her set mate, has joined some grpups and is happy to go to the dining room on her own and says someone usually joins her or she sits at a table where others are sitting and they acquaint. She has always been a bit of an island though. Lucky I think that a good handful from her year went up last year and three this year. I am very glad I think that she had a gap year.

She is horrified at some the cyclists and the danger they put others in and themselves. This w/e is the half way point so next week they'll soon be home :).

Thank you for your concern everybody. Yes Fresher's flu and an injury have taken their toll. He is doing subjects which are notorious for their workload but he would be the first to admit to poor time management. Strangely he does seem to be one of the youngest as a lot doing the course at his college are re-applicants or people who took a gap year. Extra maturity probably does help too. But Bake is right - they chose him so he must be able to do it - eventually!

Just returning back from visiting dd. So lovely to see her :)

Her workload is intense and it's difficult. But it is manageable by being focused. I think the balance between work/social/sport/rest is tricky and I think there is an element of deciding which is most important to them.

Illnesses and navigating the adult world provide additional challenges.

She seems happy though :) we had lunch at Fitzbillies. We've got sticky buns to bring home and found a very nice tea store on the market.

My DD is halloweening tonight after finishing an essay today! She has another one to write/first draft tomorrow and I've told her to do some retail therapy on Monday and take a few hours off - her light day! She has a ball ticket something to look forward to.

Met a mum with a DD just started at the other place today and her peers are not often going to dinner because they have so much work to do!!!! They grab from the fridge. I advised - 'tell her to go down and meet those who do have dinner - feel they need that bit of chatting/downtime to get some balance' None of my business of course and I suspect they all find their own way of coping.
my conclusion is first term at Oxbridge is very tough - some other unis catch up with something like the workload pre- (and after) Christmas. [santa]

To all those freshers - hang on in there! And mums - they've done great to be there.

They do need to find their own way of coping and I think for many it's a matter of surviving 8 very tough weeks then catching up with work in the holidays.

Dd has exams first week back after Christmas. Anyone else?

I think that’s right kitten they are definitely finding the right balance, I guess it will get easier as they are also developing their note taking/reading/essay writing skills etc alongside living more independently with all the responsibility that brings too. DS has had to forgo the gym a bit to allow him to get his work done. He’s very “thorough” shall we say, I suspect he will become more adept at note taking as time progresses and that will allow him to find a better balance.

I’m a bit envious every time I hear about Fitzbillies and their sticky buns, it sounds fabulous!