Preparing for uni... Why the mega shopping trips??

[Blushah]

I must be missing something, here!

All over FB there are mums people dashing from shop to shop to shop, maxing out credit cards; madly adding to their 'must-have' lists and stressing about what they've forgotten for DC's uni.

Now, of course there's stuff that will need to be bought, but don't most people have a spare pillow? Duvet? Towels? Duvet cover? Bedside light? Crockery? Cutlery? Tin opener? Sharp knife and chopping board? Doesn't their DC already own clothing? Tech?

One person (helpfully) posted that a shop had a reduced saucepan set- she bought two, one for this year, one for next.....'when she goes into a shared house'...

Or is it just me?

How can you possibly compare or judge what others do?

It depends on individual circumstances
e.g. (not an exhaustive list)

Catered or self -catered
How much university provides
Have they already linked up with others to share stuff
Bed size
En suite or shared bathroom
How they are getting there - car or public transport
Does family have spares - storage space, hoarders, recently down-sizing grandparents
Family wealth
Personal preference
Disability/ health needs

Among many other things, dd has an electric can opener. It isn't extravagance or PFB, her disability means she won't be able to open cans without it.

NoHaudin

Of course you are right.I agree with @NoHaudinMaWheest DS was pretty much self catered but 3rd year a house. They bunged in with parents / family offloads - between them selves - but they knew each other a bit by then - but they still had option of dinner in hall. - so not truly if I am honest 100% honest self catering - more weekends and high days) - but he took duvets and covers 1st term ( all salvaged from house ) , the aforementioned kettle ( new - see above ) and cafetière ( £12.99) small fridge ( £70 ) and then I winged in a couple of ( very cheap throws and cushions and a lamp for desk )

But I get your point.

DS is dyslexic so ,made sure his printer was his when he needed it ( although college printer obviously better , then is where he printed his thesis . )

Ach I don't know , very usually these threads are supportive. Does anyone one say DS can't have his own printer , because I will point you to DSA. Likewise a fancy can opener , or if parents are willing and like minded , set them up in a new environment in the best way you can at the time. Gordon Bennet.

I speak as on who got the train down from the very north of England to the south with one suitcase. Going out to get a kettle or a duvet when you have so much else to think about - only in my opinion - was a pain in the arse.

I think you do as a pp as said what you can do , and indeed what you are prepared to do. It does not make your DC a "wuss" Though when he graduated Ds had to take a load of stuff to tip / recycling / give it away as there is simply no room in our house.

I wish all new graduates well - it all works. ( Ds never had fairy lights - not sure his friend should have - I suspect they had flowery covers and she kept them turned off )

……but then, both he and I are quite chilled about the uni thing

Well bully for you 😆.

I’ve four kids go through uni and we did a mixture of things. Each kid is different and the availability of my old stuff varied with each kid too. I think there is a very happy middle ground between the ‘buy two sets of pans’ brigade and the ‘we are too cool for school’ (AKA The OP) brigade. I’m pretty sure that 99% of students and parents fall into this middle ground.

Didn't need much in Year 1, but for the second and third years of ds's BA, and his MA, he had a comprehensive kitchen kit, much of which we already had, as we were living between two countries, so both dh and I needed stuff. Ds got the cheap IKEA stuff that dh used til I moved abroad again, and it's done him OK.

This will be the first September in years that doesn't require sorting out ds for educational stuff as we go back to UK tomorrow to get him post MA. Hopefully next time we cart him anywhere, it will be to a house share for a job.

Most people don't have a lot of spare stuff sitting round the house because of lack of space. I don't, we have what we need, no room for anting else. So if DS was going to live away at uni I would need to buy new stuff for him.

However I do agree with the point OP has made about some people being forensically involved with their children's lives. There's a fine line to be had between being helpful and supportive and taking over and micro managing them.

Violet It's also about being economical where possible. If you have two sets of pots, pans, crockery, knives etc, why would you buy new? Stuff goes missing from Hall pantries and shared kitchens with monotonous regularity, so if it's been used already, you don't mind so much that someone else has sticky fingers.

I finally have the money to have high quality kitchen things, nice crockery, antique glass and very expensive knives. Like shit would I give them to my sons to take to uni where glass could get smashed or they’ll lose stuff or it’ll get nicked. I’d much rather kit them out with all new basics from Wilko etc. I see that as far more practical then giving them loads of my things. I don’t have 3 peelers, bread knives etc. I just have very nice versions of what we need.

There are regular posts by people worried about the cost of University.

No judging. Going to IKEA with your about to be come independent DC can be a fun right of passage.

However if you are trying to cut costs you can. You dont need much and asking round friends and family or a visit to a charity show will get you everything you need. Or my experience is that Asda is cheapest for household basics, Robery Dyas is good, and you can pick up nice individual stuff, especially bedding, cheaply in Homesense. (I manage holiday lettings so am always buying equipment!)

Attitudes are very personal. It took me three months to clear my mums flat. She had become mail order queen for useless tatt. It became a challenge to rehome as much as possible. So DD ended up with a sort of plastic trousseau sitting in the corner of our living room.

Went shopping yesterday with DD. Bought new sheet, duvet and duvet set. Lots of “off to uni” signs hanging everywhere (John Lewis) and excited teenagers buying things (Zara home, M&S, ikea, TKMaxx, White Company -
DD likes to be sure there is nothing better out there before she makes a purchase so we went everywhere!) Not an “off to uni” trip as it happens just a “DD finally didn’t fit into her old bunk bed at home and has bought herself a small double without thinking that none of the bedding would fit - no she’s actually finished first year uni and doesn’t need or want anything for that thank you” trip. It got boring saying this again and again to helpful shop assistants so we just stopped and said “yes -off to uni!”

In my fifties and I still have the following from the big shop we did in the early 80s.
Non-stick Milk pan - made DD's and my porridge with it this morning.
Tea cosy- use daily
Tin for teabags - use daily
Duvet cover - it's a spare single one.
I also remember I took too much stuff - kind of surrounding myself in familiar stuff - I was on a full grant (before loans) and I cobbled together lots of bits but it's nice to know I still retain 4 items.

Been today with DS and DM, ended up getting everything from Asda Living, seemed to get loads of stuff including duvet and mattress topper for under £50. DM bought some quilt covers and pans etc for him. DS was pretty easy going and undemanding about the purchases but he also showed an interest which was nice. I also have bought him from ebay some multi pocket hangers which can go in the wardrobe and some pins with hangers on to go on the noticeboard. Not much left to do now.

And dont forget Amazon. DD ended up taking the train to University with a duvet, pillow, plate, bowl and wok stuffed into a suitcase. Good thick foam mattress topper arrived from Amazon the next day. Luckily her second year flat contract started before her halls contract ended.

We are pleased we did not get too much. The borrowing/stealing was brazen and endemic so she ended up keeping stuff in her room. Then when she returned at the end of the year after a few days away she caught one of her (boarding school educated) flatmates walking off with all her kitchen equipment and cupboard contents including one or two nice items. The girl denied the obvious but was with three burly local blokes so there was nothing DD could do.

Bellini I have the glass storage jars that I bought from Woolies in my time at university. Started off buying one for tea bags in my first weeks and gradually built a collection up for pasta and lentils and the rest. Over 30 years old!😮

The halls had all the kitchen equipment so we just needed our own plates and cutlery really.

I have finally wrenched the university list of things we need to provide off my son. So thank you, Mumsnet for the prompt!