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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

Preparing for uni... Why the mega shopping trips??

140 replies

Blushah · 26/08/2018 16:52

I must be missing something, here!

All over FB there are mums people dashing from shop to shop to shop, maxing out credit cards; madly adding to their 'must-have' lists and stressing about what they've forgotten for DC's uni.

Now, of course there's stuff that will need to be bought, but don't most people have a spare pillow? Duvet? Towels? Duvet cover? Bedside light? Crockery? Cutlery? Tin opener? Sharp knife and chopping board? Doesn't their DC already own clothing? Tech?

One person (helpfully) posted that a shop had a reduced saucepan set- she bought two, one for this year, one for next.....'when she goes into a shared house'...

Or is it just me?

OP posts:

crimsonlake · 26/08/2018 18:20

I did a mixture of both, which was tricky as I had 2 going to Uni at the same time. some bedding from home, sheets , duvet covers , towels, plates, bowls etc. I thought this was a good idea as it was a reminder of home. As for stocking up on food remember they will only have part of a cupboard and limited space in the fridge / freezer. Rooms in halls are quite small so not a lot of storage space for storing essentials , although some have drawers under the beds, but not all. Purchasing a rug is a good idea as some of the carpets in halls can be rank.

SoupDragon · 26/08/2018 18:22

DS and I went shopping to kit him out. I went knowing that hecojld concentrate on having fun and settling in rather than having to faff about buying stuff.

No, I don’t have spare cutlery or crockery or saucepans etc. I imagine that the stuff he has will last him the 3 years and possibly into his first home so it’s hardly a waste.

I find it odd that anyone would find this hard to grasp TBH.

TheFairyCaravan · 26/08/2018 18:23

We didn’t have spares and neither did we have the money to buy it all in one go so I started buying in the March. I did the same with the essentials that DS1 needed when he joined the army.

HolyPieter · 26/08/2018 18:28

I agree, OP.

They are grown adults, for goodness sake. Why on Earth should parents have to blow their wages on brand-new homeware and kitchenware that'll likely be either ruined or stolen by the end of the year?

If they really want new stuff then they can buy it themselves once they get there.

senua · 26/08/2018 18:32

I find it odd that anyone would find this hard to grasp TBH.

I find it odd that people are old enough to have 18 y.o.. DC but haven't got 18 years' worth of surplus bit and bobs. Have you all Marie Kondo'd it?

SoupDragon · 26/08/2018 18:36

I have the things I use. And I’m no minimalist!

I have stuff like extra baking dishes but not anything DS needed to take. Things like duvets etc are replaced when needed.

BlackberryBramble · 26/08/2018 18:37

My DH kept saying we'd have to take eldest to IKEA "to prepare."

Still don't know what the heck be was wittering on about.

A few bits from Tesco and a frying pan from TKMaxx and it was done.

bananasandwicheseveryday · 26/08/2018 18:37

We bought new stuff for DC1 when they went to university. Why? Firstly, we don't have spares of most things - certainly nothing as substantial as duvets, saucepans. I think we might have ahad a spare cheese grater, but not much else. Secondly, although we don't buy spares, when I buy household items for home, I buy the best I can, so I definitely was not happy to send dc with good quality bed linen, towels etc just to have them ruined when he washed them on the wrong temperature, or more likely, 'forgot' to wash them for a week or so until they were smelly and on one memorable occasion, covered in mildew because they'd been stuffed, damp, into a bin bag and left until the next holiday to bring home and wash! I think I might have given dc some cutlery from a set we were about to replace. And then I had to give him more to replace that as it got lost / was taken by other students.
I certainly didn't spend a fortune - most stuff came from outlet shops, like Asda. Think I might have spent around £150 in total. Definitely did not Max out any credit cards.

RiddleyW · 26/08/2018 18:39

I don’t really have anything spare. I have a tiny kitchen though so I guess that’s why. I also wouldn’t send my old stuff and then buy new myself as my pans and things are much nicer and more expensive than I’d send to university!

I didn’t have much new stuff when I went so I guess my mum did have spare stuff. I still have a little blue bowl my auntie got me though and I still use the spice jars I got from another auntie.

SeekEveryEveryKnownHidingPlace · 26/08/2018 18:39

Because not everyone has loads of spare stuff hanging around
Because if your child wants to, and is into shopping trips, it's a nice thing to do.
It's a rite of passage, and way perhaps of helping you both deal with it.
Because some kids will really appreciate having nice new stuff they chose, rather than your third best casserole dish and an old towel.
Because if you want to and they want to and you can afford it and it helps, why not?
Why does it bother you?

SeekEveryEveryKnownHidingPlace · 26/08/2018 18:42

For us, at least - we had a nice day at Ikea, we all enjoyed it, it was fun and it helped, and Dd1 got some stuff she was excited to use, and dd2 is (at the end of year 12) already looking forward to her own Ikea trip.

It's one of the last times you get to do that kind of thing for your child, after years of New Term Stationary and School Shoes days at the end of summer, and if you ever enjoyed those things, you're going to want to do the last one.

Knittedfairies · 26/08/2018 18:43

My daughter took spares if we had them, new if we didn’t. She discovered a love of baking while at university; every time she came home thereafter something else was spirited away!

Hoozz · 26/08/2018 18:50

imagine that the stuff he has will last him the 3 years and possibly into his first home so it’s hardly a waste
This is true.Eldest is just moving into her first flat. So out come all the boxes of old pots and pans that came back when she graduated.

30 years in this house and I have accumulated a lot of stuff. Also kept old stuff when buying new with a view to using it for DC uni.

Topseyt · 26/08/2018 18:59

DD1 was given a couple of old saucepans I had back when I was a student, an everyday value cutlery set and a few basic bits and bobs from Tesco, a couple of new towels as most of ours had seen better days and that was it.

When MIL died we had to clear out her house and another few basics like a good clothes horse, some more bedding and pans came from there as we knew MIL would have been happy with that

DD is working now and not living at home. She still has and uses most of the stuff.

I think when it comes to DDs 2 and 3 we will probably have to buy a bit more. There is only so much spare stuff and much of mine is now gone.

corythatwas · 26/08/2018 19:18

We did have spare bed linen, but only because MIL died shortly beforehand; certainly didn't have spare sets of saucepans or crockery or cutlery. Partly because we never had that much money to spend on things that weren't necessary, partly because we never really had the space to keep it in. Can imagine there must be quite a few parents in similar situation. Dd didn't require much maxing out, though: she got in touch with the girls in her house-share before moving in and they made sure their purchases complemented each other.

KickAssAngel · 26/08/2018 19:18

I went with odd bits & pieces & leftovers - all the old stuff my mum/gran/aunts didn't want.
My food mixer was about 20 years old and lasted another 10 years.

I got nothing new, and I was one of the best equipped students there. It was very much 'make do and mend', even when we had our own house. I have NO intention of buying new for DD when she goes to college. Maybe when/if she sets up in her first home, but otherwise I wouldn't risk good stuff for the student lifestyle.

UAEMum · 26/08/2018 19:22

My son ia going this year. A friend told me to give him things from home and buy new for myself and to a large degree this is what has happened. I have got him some new bits and am very much enjoying the lovely sorted out feeling of my cupboards.

Ihuntmonsters · 26/08/2018 19:27

My ds went into a dorm room, he only needed a new sheet (different sized bed) and a kettle, he took a few mugs and maybe a plate and a bowl and that's about it. Moved into a shared flat for second year and got cast offs plus his flat mate's mum bought them some new bits and bobs. Oh and we bought them a new table.

dd is starting university next week and going into a shared self catering apartment. We'd hoped to split the cost of setting them up between four families, but she's only made contact with one of her soon to be flatmates, and they are flying in so bringing nothing so dd has the full list still. She is a keen cook and bakes when she is stressed so needs standard supplies for her kitchen. Which is really a lot of stuff. As ds has already taken most of the spares we have put aside in the last few years most of dd's stuff is new, apart from where I have upgraded a few of our things. It's added up to quite a bit, and yes of course we have shopped around to cut costs.

dh and I still have quite a few things from our first flat at university so I don't see it as wasted money. It's been fun to do together and helped dd with getting stressed about going off to university. Glad we've pretty much got everything now though.

Fuckedoffat48b · 26/08/2018 19:30

When I went to uni there was absolutely no way in hell my parentts would have let me take their stuff. Even if I had tried to argue it was spare!

Thesearepearls · 26/08/2018 19:33

We can do some of the stuff (towels and bedding and mugs) but I don't have any spare saucepans. It did occur to me to buy a new set for myself and send DS off with the old set but I think he has induction hobs which I think require a different sort of pan.

Laniakea · 26/08/2018 19:34

some people just like shopping?

I didn't get any new stuff when I went to university (sniff) ... early '90s & we were utterly skint. I took bedding from home & a mug. When my grant came in I bought a non stick pan & a multi head screwdriver* from a hardware store on the Whitechapel road . My room mate (we had to share!) had a illegal kettle & toaster & we ate a lot of toast ... nostalgia.

(*required to shut the window in our room)

I expect dd will take a mixture - she can take home bedding/towels/cutlery but isn't having my naice plates or pans!

PUGaLUGS · 26/08/2018 19:35

We bought DS1 all new stuff. Not expensive, but new nevertheless.

Why on earth would I want to give him my Stellar pan set?

He was going from a single bed to a double one, we don’t have a double duvet hanging about. We all have two sets of bedding and that’s it.

It was also nice to go shopping together.

elastamum · 26/08/2018 19:39

I wouldn't spend too much if I were you. I picked my DS up from his shared flat at the end of last year. As he was last out we had to do the final clear before he gave the keys back. We have acquired 2 crates of kitchen stuff just left behind by his flatmates!! (all young men).

Cobrider · 26/08/2018 19:42

You would think that the judging of other people’s parenting stops with school but no, the superiority continues to university

Definitelyrandom · 26/08/2018 20:01

I vaguely remember topping up crockery etc from the back of the cupboard with basic stuff from Morrison’s when DS1 first went to university (and huge bags of pasta, rice etc). He’s just finished his master’s with more than he went with, as his international student flatmates left him things they couldn’t fly back with. Just the job as DS2 starts university!

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