Preparing for uni... Why the mega shopping trips??

[Blushah]

I must be missing something, here!

All over FB there are mums people dashing from shop to shop to shop, maxing out credit cards; madly adding to their 'must-have' lists and stressing about what they've forgotten for DC's uni.

Now, of course there's stuff that will need to be bought, but don't most people have a spare pillow? Duvet? Towels? Duvet cover? Bedside light? Crockery? Cutlery? Tin opener? Sharp knife and chopping board? Doesn't their DC already own clothing? Tech?

One person (helpfully) posted that a shop had a reduced saucepan set- she bought two, one for this year, one for next.....'when she goes into a shared house'...

Or is it just me?

[ADarkandStormyKnight]

I have finally wrenched the university list of things we need to provide off my son. So thank you, Mumsnet for the prompt!

[VeryBerryAugust]

The halls had all the kitchen equipment so we just needed our own plates and cutlery really.

[VeryBerryAugust]

Bellini I have the glass storage jars that I bought from Woolies in my time at university. Started off buying one for tea bags in my first weeks and gradually built a collection up for pasta and lentils and the rest. Over 30 years old!😮

[Needmoresleep]

And dont forget Amazon. DD ended up taking the train to University with a duvet, pillow, plate, bowl and wok stuffed into a suitcase. Good thick foam mattress topper arrived from Amazon the next day. Luckily her second year flat contract started before her halls contract ended.

We are pleased we did not get too much. The borrowing/stealing was brazen and endemic so she ended up keeping stuff in her room. Then when she returned at the end of the year after a few days away she caught one of her (boarding school educated) flatmates walking off with all her kitchen equipment and cupboard contents including one or two nice items. The girl denied the obvious but was with three burly local blokes so there was nothing DD could do.

[Marmie4]

Been today with DS and DM, ended up getting everything from Asda Living, seemed to get loads of stuff including duvet and mattress topper for under £50. DM bought some quilt covers and pans etc for him. DS was pretty easy going and undemanding about the purchases but he also showed an interest which was nice. I also have bought him from ebay some multi pocket hangers which can go in the wardrobe and some pins with hangers on to go on the noticeboard. Not much left to do now.

[bellinisurge]

In my fifties and I still have the following from the big shop we did in the early 80s.
Non-stick Milk pan - made DD's and my porridge with it this morning.
Tea cosy- use daily
Tin for teabags - use daily
Duvet cover - it's a spare single one.
I also remember I took too much stuff - kind of surrounding myself in familiar stuff - I was on a full grant (before loans) and I cobbled together lots of bits but it's nice to know I still retain 4 items.

[2pinkribbons]

Went shopping yesterday with DD. Bought new sheet, duvet and duvet set. Lots of “off to uni” signs hanging everywhere (John Lewis) and excited teenagers buying things (Zara home, M&S, ikea, TKMaxx, White Company -
DD likes to be sure there is nothing better out there before she makes a purchase so we went everywhere!) Not an “off to uni” trip as it happens just a “DD finally didn’t fit into her old bunk bed at home and has bought herself a small double without thinking that none of the bedding would fit - no she’s actually finished first year uni and doesn’t need or want anything for that thank you” trip. It got boring saying this again and again to helpful shop assistants so we just stopped and said “yes -off to uni!”

[Needmoresleep]

There are regular posts by people worried about the cost of University.

No judging. Going to IKEA with your about to be come independent DC can be a fun right of passage.

However if you are trying to cut costs you can. You dont need much and asking round friends and family or a visit to a charity show will get you everything you need. Or my experience is that Asda is cheapest for household basics, Robery Dyas is good, and you can pick up nice individual stuff, especially bedding, cheaply in Homesense. (I manage holiday lettings so am always buying equipment!)

Attitudes are very personal. It took me three months to clear my mums flat. She had become mail order queen for useless tatt. It became a challenge to rehome as much as possible. So DD ended up with a sort of plastic trousseau sitting in the corner of our living room.

[Buglife]

I finally have the money to have high quality kitchen things, nice crockery, antique glass and very expensive knives. Like shit would I give them to my sons to take to uni where glass could get smashed or they’ll lose stuff or it’ll get nicked. I’d much rather kit them out with all new basics from Wilko etc. I see that as far more practical then giving them loads of my things. I don’t have 3 peelers, bread knives etc. I just have very nice versions of what we need.

[scaryteacher]

Violet It's also about being economical where possible. If you have two sets of pots, pans, crockery, knives etc, why would you buy new? Stuff goes missing from Hall pantries and shared kitchens with monotonous regularity, so if it's been used already, you don't mind so much that someone else has sticky fingers.

[VioletCharlotte]

Most people don't have a lot of spare stuff sitting round the house because of lack of space. I don't, we have what we need, no room for anting else. So if DS was going to live away at uni I would need to buy new stuff for him.

However I do agree with the point OP has made about some people being forensically involved with their children's lives. There's a fine line to be had between being helpful and supportive and taking over and micro managing them.

[scaryteacher]

Didn't need much in Year 1, but for the second and third years of ds's BA, and his MA, he had a comprehensive kitchen kit, much of which we already had, as we were living between two countries, so both dh and I needed stuff. Ds got the cheap IKEA stuff that dh used til I moved abroad again, and it's done him OK.

This will be the first September in years that doesn't require sorting out ds for educational stuff as we go back to UK tomorrow to get him post MA. Hopefully next time we cart him anywhere, it will be to a house share for a job.

[NotTheWayISeeIt]

……but then, both he and I are quite chilled about the uni thing

Well bully for you 😆.
I’ve four kids go through uni and we did a mixture of things. Each kid is different and the availability of my old stuff varied with each kid too. I think there is a very happy middle ground between the ‘buy two sets of pans’ brigade and the ‘we are too cool for school’ (AKA The OP) brigade. I’m pretty sure that 99% of students and parents fall into this middle ground.

[BasiliskStare]

NoHaudin

Of course you are right.I agree with @NoHaudinMaWheest DS was pretty much self catered but 3rd year a house. They bunged in with parents / family offloads - between them selves - but they knew each other a bit by then - but they still had option of dinner in hall. - so not truly if I am honest 100% honest self catering - more weekends and high days) - but he took duvets and covers 1st term ( all salvaged from house ) , the aforementioned kettle ( new - see above ) and cafetière ( £12.99) small fridge ( £70 ) and then I winged in a couple of ( very cheap throws and cushions and a lamp for desk )

But I get your point.

DS is dyslexic so ,made sure his printer was his when he needed it ( although college printer obviously better , then is where he printed his thesis . )

Ach I don't know , very usually these threads are supportive. Does anyone one say DS can't have his own printer , because I will point you to DSA. Likewise a fancy can opener , or if parents are willing and like minded , set them up in a new environment in the best way you can at the time. Gordon Bennet.

I speak as on who got the train down from the very north of England to the south with one suitcase. Going out to get a kettle or a duvet when you have so much else to think about - only in my opinion - was a pain in the arse.

I think you do as a pp as said what you can do , and indeed what you are prepared to do. It does not make your DC a "wuss" Though when he graduated Ds had to take a load of stuff to tip / recycling / give it away as there is simply no room in our house.



I wish all new graduates well - it all works. ( Ds never had fairy lights - not sure his friend should have - I suspect they had flowery covers and she kept them turned off )

[NoHaudinMaWheest]

How can you possibly compare or judge what others do?

It depends on individual circumstances
e.g. (not an exhaustive list)

Catered or self -catered
How much university provides
Have they already linked up with others to share stuff
Bed size
En suite or shared bathroom
How they are getting there - car or public transport
Does family have spares - storage space, hoarders, recently down-sizing grandparents
Family wealth
Personal preference
Disability/ health needs

Among many other things, dd has an electric can opener. It isn't extravagance or PFB, her disability means she won't be able to open cans without it.

[5000KallaxHoles]

We don't have spares around this house - we don't have the storage space to keep stuff "just in case" - if it's not being used - it goes. Bedding for the relevant room goes in under-bed drawers when not on the beds - no massive grand stockpile of it elsewhere, couple of sets that match the decor of the room in question and that's it. Don't have spare kitchen stuff - we don't have masses of kitchen cupboard space so I keep things minimal and if it's not getting used it goes for a brief holiday in the shed where if it's not being missed... it gets served an eviction notice. Our house is what we can afford to live within our means - which MN should be approving of - but means space is limited.

It's not a new thing - most parents did a detour to Ikea (or Woolies - showing my age here) when their kids moved into shared houses for their 2nd year of uni when I was a student (first years all lived in catered halls so all you needed was a kettle, toaster and some dubious mugs to grow your pet mould in)

[AlexanderHamilton]

Dd is going to be staying in lodgings and bedding is provided and its catered but I would have bought new as we don't have spares.

I have one set of matching saucepans and one set of matching cutlery/utensils. They are not new but were expensive and long lasting. Why on earth would I forgo those?

[Rufustheyawningreindeer]

Apparently duvets with zoo animals or dinosaurs are not cool.)



I beg to differ!!!

[Rufustheyawningreindeer]

We have just bought a new telly so the old one went in the childrens room and their old one is now in his uni bedroom

Spoilt brat

[Rufustheyawningreindeer]

Id like to join the 'Don't have spares' Team

I have 4 saucepans and two frying oans and i kinda need them to cook for me and the other three members of our family sho are still need at home

I also dont have spare towels and bed linen...having said that the first year he went i am guilty of buying him new marks and next towels and bedding

In his house this year he has a double bed (aaaggghhhhh!) so i am pleased i kept our old kingsize stuff so he can have that and obviously the towels are still good (plus i bought two of everything )

I dont think its too bad setting them up for three years although he has killed his pots and baking trays so we did need to replace those

[Purplemond]

Surely there is no right or wrong way and it depends on the individual and the family circumstances.
We didnt have spares of anything and my dc would come home from uni often so i didnt want them taking their duvets from home plus our house is quite cold compared to halls so they had much thicker duvets compared to what they nedded in halls.
In terms of sending them with used and buying new, especially my kitchen stuff i have what to me are quite nice decent quality stuff which id asked for as a birthday/xmas gifts as i could never justify buying myself i hope they will last for years so there was no way i was sending them with the dc to uni, especially when i cook often and i knew neither were interested in cooking. They both had cheap basic kitchen stuff from wilko/ikea or the supermarkets and it all worked fine. I didnt spend excessive amounts and even some of the basic essential items were gifted to dc on their birthdays/xmas before going to uni.

[WhirlyGigWhirlyGig]

I'mrhe most terrible parent ever, she leaves in three weeks and I've bought precisely NOTHING Well that's not quite true, I've bought a lovely new pan set for myself so she can have the old one I suppose.

I need kicking in to action to actually buy stuff!

[Frequency]

When I went off to uni I took a mix of spares and new, depending what we had in the house and then my gran paid for me to do a 'big shop' in my uni town.

I'll probably have to buy all new for my DC as I don't tend to have spare kettles hanging around and we don't have mountains of spare bedding and towels but I will definitely do a big shop for them.

The big shop was worth its weight gold for me. As I was the one with the wine, the vodka, the pringles, the frozen pizza, pasta, store cupboard ingredients and the ability to cook them, I made new friends quickly.

The cooking skills my gran taught me also came in handy. I didn't have to buy much food. We had a deal, my flatmates bought it, I cooked it.

[BasiliskStare]

I bought him some cushions and a cheap light as well - exit stout party

[BasiliskStare]

Er ... Am I the only person here who lives in a very small house with little storage and therefore does not have e.g. extra pans etc other than what we actually need. So yes I can rustle up duvet covers and that's what DS got ( i.e. previous duvets and duvet covers. Yes I bought him a few things and one which some will be \ / about a £70 quid mini fridge because he wasn't allowed to hang his milk outside the window in a carrier bag . & I just wanted him to be able to have a nice coffee - he likes coffee - so hang me - I bought him a cafetiere as well - cheap and cheerful but he used it to kingdom come.

If we have cast offs it is because they are trashed and have to be binned - actually in 3rd year DS did get a frying pan and some plates which were way past their sell by date - but really ? Can no-one believe if you live in a small house with little storage you do not have lots of "spare stuff" even if your DC is 18 . Oh a further travesty - I bought Ds a kettle , because we now have a boiling water tap because no room in the kitchen for a kettle. Do I win the internet ! Ah I absolutely get how it is nice to buy some things for DCs and Actually I bought Ds some very very cheap and cheerful throws to cover up well used chairs in his room.

That said despite my profligacy I would absolutely draw the line at recarpeting his university room