Preparing for uni... Why the mega shopping trips??

[Blushah]

I must be missing something, here!

All over FB there are mums people dashing from shop to shop to shop, maxing out credit cards; madly adding to their 'must-have' lists and stressing about what they've forgotten for DC's uni.

Now, of course there's stuff that will need to be bought, but don't most people have a spare pillow? Duvet? Towels? Duvet cover? Bedside light? Crockery? Cutlery? Tin opener? Sharp knife and chopping board? Doesn't their DC already own clothing? Tech?

One person (helpfully) posted that a shop had a reduced saucepan set- she bought two, one for this year, one for next.....'when she goes into a shared house'...

Or is it just me?

DD did not get new stuff, though we did a basic food shop at Lidl.

1. Neither of us like shopping
2. I had just cleared my mothers flat, so lots of stuff.

It was fine. Lots gets destroyed during ‘pre-pres’. And nice stuff gets borrowed/stolen. Really you are best off waiting till second year when you choose your flat mates. You also want to avoid having the same white IKEA/John Lewisetc crockery that everyone else has. Charity shop or hand me downs are easier to identify. There will be very little storage space and you can put a single duvet on a larger bed or vv. (DD did ask if she could have new linen for her second year. Apparently duvets with zoo animals or dinosaurs are not cool.)

It’s like many things. If you have the money and want to spend it’s fine. If you don’t, it’s not needed. Starting the minimum and just adding things when you realise you need them is perfectly fine.

My mum and dad bought me bedding, towels and some basic bits when I went to Uni - packaged up as my 18th birthday present 😂 including some Persil and fabric conditioner so my clothes would smell familiar!

I still have the tin opener, 25 years later.

Why would you buy spare pans and pillows - and where would you store them?
op?

Op - you seem overly invested in parents' shopping habits. Some students will have new, some second hand, some a combination - why do you care?

My dc's university education is costing me an arm and a leg - too bloody right I'm 'forensically involved'. All very well for people to snottily ask why we are financing adults, but it's because the state does not recognise them as such and judges what they can borrow by our income!
Anyway, parenting for me, doesn't stop the minute my dc turn 18. I want to ensure their start is a comfortable one.

I am by no means a recreational shopper but I did enjoy the kitting out shop with both my DDs ( one year after another). It was a significant moment for both, launching them out into semi independence . My spare single duvets ( beyond one on and one in the wash ) tended to be the ‘if disaster strikes ‘ fall backs of childhood ones, which would be unfair to impose on them. My Little Pony can be ironic if you choose it to be but......

Those saying can’t they just pick up stuff locally once they get there are underestimating the dynamics of move in day - people want to get their things in, make their beds, arrange their mugs artistically and get on with the really important stuff like meeting their new accommodation mates and attending meetings. . And any useful local ( not much hope for campus unis) homeware shops are usually full of parents scrabbling for the forgotten stuff - hangers, no one ever remembers hangers.

Provide the sturdy basics, not the decorative - that’s something they can, and will want to do themselves, to stamp their personality on their bland rooms.

That second bargain saucepan set isn’t as mad as it sounds - after shared kitchens in halls and then shared houses for the next two years, the state ( or existence of at all - things go missing a lot) of much of the starter kit of the first year can be in a dreadful state.

When I went off to uni, it was with a suitcase of clothes and some reading list books. All the bed linen was included, changed and laundered and meals were provided - different times .

We took DT’s to John Lewis and bought the basics - bedding, towels, cutlery and crockery. My DM did the same for me when I went to Uni - I don’t see anything odd or unusual about it. DT’s friends parents did the same.

My DD is going straight into a shared house in her first year and I have got her a mixture of about a third stuff from home and two thirds new, depending on what I had going spare. She wasn't bothered about the shopping too much, and I actually went to Ikea without her armed with a strict list that I stuck to, which was way better for me as I didn't get the asking for unnecessary stuff - a fellow parent who's daughter was at the same 6th form as my DD, posted on FB that her daughter declared that the 3 ft soft toy that came back with them from Ikea was 'essential'.

She is moving to a small town (nearest city is a good bus ride away) which only has a couple of supermarkets and a few shops, so it made sense to buy everything from Ikea / Wilko / B & M / Primark before we went, to save costs. I have about 6 things left on my list to get, and currently have a jenga pile of homewares in my living room as much of her small bedroom floor is taken up with her suitcase that she is packing with clothes. A friend is driving her up there later this week as I don't drive, and I am going through the next day to take her out for lunch and to get a food shop. Think we are sorted! Frankly I don't care what other people think about me sending second hand stuff and buying new - I've done both, and I don't care what other parents are doing for their kids, it's none of my business. I don't get all the competitive parenting that some people seem to go for. Who cares if their pans came from John Lewis or Poundland? It's an exiting time in their lives and they should be embracing it, not worrying that their cutlery will pass muster from the other students.

You are being mean. Just because you have spare stuff and aren’t wanting to do this don’t judge those who are.
I have only one set of cutlery, one tin opener, no single duvets etc.

I will definitely be doing this and will enjoy sending DC off with stuff we have chosen, knowing they wont be stressing about buying a tin opener when they are better just trying stuck into freshers week.

This is really judgey and shows a nasty side tbh.

I remember buying stuff with my Mum to go to university in 1983, I grew up without much money and it was the first time I’d had anything that matched. It’s still a lovely memory to look back on now my Mum is dead and made me feel very loved as I started my new life.
DD and I had fun shopping when she left but DS wasn’t bothered but their was definitely no maxing out of credit cards!

I liked the idea of sending DS off on his first foray into independence with things that were his and not mine. He chose them.

He is off to his second year with a secondhand cutlery tray from home though. And my shot glasses!

It really doesn’t matter whether they go with second hand or new stuff, neither is at all odd.

Some things were from Home, some we bought new, (who has multiple tin openers?). I didn't go to uni until 1992, so we've had less time to accumulate stuff than someone who went more than a decade earlier.

When I went to university in the 80s I didn’t have to take anything, except clothes, towels, my record player and box of LPs. First year was fully catered in hall, second year was a house share, so I had to take bedding, third year was self catering hall. I never needed to buy any kitchen stuff, it was all provided.

These days, if they have to provide their own stuff, it’s better to arrive with it all. They don’t want to spend their first week shopping for sheets and kettles.

DS is having to travel light as he is going too far away for us to take him, and is flying but he won’t really need much.

A mega-shop with the DCs occurs merely to facilitate the opportunity to dine out on meatballs!

Looking forward to Wednesday pm with DC1 (returning for an unexpected Master's) and DC2 (replacing everything lost in the first year).

People have spare tin openers, duvets and knife sets?? Goodness me, I am lucky if I can find my one tin opener. because my own home is kitted out like a student bedsit

Sorry OP but your first post sounds a bit sneering.

When /if my DS goes to uni he will tkae his on duvet with him I guess but I can see why that would be a nuisance.

I had to get a job at sixteen to help with buying my uni stuff. My mum would only let me buy two of each cutlery and plate, she said there wouldn't be enough room (she was right) and that it would force me to do the dishes (she was extra right 😂).

i saw the post about buying two sets of saucepans. Plain greedy.
Max out the credit cards? obviously didnt plan.
my dd kept going on about shopping, and yes, we did do shopping, including a tin opener, double duvet, a plate, cutlery,
she then turned out to be living with rich girls, who had everything, you name it, the shame of no cutlery divider/drawer thingy
you dont know what these people actually bought, it is just social media

I'm not planning on buying stuff in advance because accommodation includes a lot of basics and he's sharing. How many cafeteria's will they need between them?

OP, as someone who does similar shite to these mums and I only have a baby DS, I can tell you it's a strategy of preparation and makes transitioning into a new chapter feel more 'ready' and complete.

My mum is the same.

I have a new car coming. DS is coming out of his little baby maxi cosi. I've bought DS the best car seat I could from Mothercare. Focusing on that purchase really helped me accept and even smile that DS was going into a new car seat, without focusing too much on the fact that he's outgrown his original one.

It also exposes me to the reality which is a good thing.

Similar things happen all the time. My grandfather was passing away one Christmas and he mentioned he wanted a new dressing gown. I put untold amounts of interest in finding the one I know he'd like best.

My niece took stuff from home.
She took her duvet set (she doesn’t need one for uni and one fire has me, she ferries them)
She had an odd assortment of 1 frying pan, 1 saucepan, 2 mismatched plates, a handful of cutlery, her mug, a couple of bowls (she took her coco pops one from when she was little!) etc. A knife. And I think that’s about it.
She just got stuff as she needed it. Mostly from charity shops.

It’s all bit like Christmas, isn’t it? With all those photos people insist on sharing of the huge piles of presents.

“Look at all my bubba’s uni kit! Gonna be paying this off for a year #WorthIt #LoveMyKids #UniLife #MustNotCry” 🙄

My DD took a spare frying pan and Pyrex dish. We didn't have a spare saucepan, or potato peeler. We got her a new duvet and pillow set, but that was so she had a set for when she came home, without having to carry a duvet on the bus.

She took her duvet set

Total PITA tokeepferrying that back and forth on the train for trips home.

The sneeriness in some of these posts is pathetic.

When I went to uni I was in a shared house and had a few spare things and a few new things. I think spare kitchen stuff new duvet and duvet cover, some cushions. Obviously used the existing furniture in the room.

The girl in the room opposite me had all new furniture from ikea and even a new baby blue carpet fitted!!!

Not RTFT as I'm half asleep amd can't be arsed.

We did it because we enjoyed doing it.

No maxing of credit cards.

Bought things our DDs chose as they were at the start of their new lives. I hope they'll still have some small piece to make them smile in many years to come; I had one plate left until it met its end quite recently and even the memory of it makes me smile.