A Level Results Day

[3catsandadog]

Hi If UCAS does not update first thing before the school opens for result is it a bad sign that the offer has been missed.
Good luck to everyone awaiting results :)

I don't think the parents gave much support during the exams TBH.

I still think (remembering what you said about that young man in a previous thread) that he should try again. It sounds like it is in his grasp, just needs another shot? Does he need a mentor perhaps who is not his parent? I would be worried that he is now on the rebound from their expectations. I have a friend (another friend...alas I have a lot of friends who failed Oxbridge back in the day) who never really got over going to Bristol instead of Oxford, despite ending up very successful barrister, and it has just been regurgitated in his hopes and dreams (luckily fulfilled) for his children. I wish he had tried again, so we didn't have to listen to him saying he wished he had gone there.

There is such a rush to be on to the next stage and put the past behind you, I have no idea why people feel that they cannot properly deal with the disappointments and assess where they are, NOW, instead of rushing into the next thing. lonicera I think you have advised your dd, or she has advised herself, very very wisely. Everyone is different, some people really are ready to move forward, others need a bit more mulling over.

Why would someone ‘suffer’ a lot when their child didn’t get into Oxford?

The obvious answer here is tbeing overly presumptuous. By all means prepare and support your dc to apply to Oxford but as the parent and ideally one who has lived life a bit more, manage their expectations.

Come at it with a positive attitude, give it your all but also be realistic that applying to anywhere let alone Oxford can be dicey and sometimes things don’t go to plan. Make them understand that there also many other great institutions where they can achieve their dreams besides Oxford and that going to Oxford would be a privilege not an entitlement. Many bright young people with a truckload of A’s don’t get in for whatever reason. There are many variables that go into making an offer for a place like Oxford. Also don’t slag of other uni options so if it all falls apart the dc isnt left feeling anywhere else is rubbish.

Then sit back and see what happens. if the dc doesn’t get Oxford they can put things in perspective easier because they can see you the parent relaxed and chilled and because they are better emotionally prepared for knock backs.

McN, so you would have thought - i am the only one of my siblings not to go to Oxbridge (I didn't try and may not have got in anyway) and I did very well where I went - top of year, prizes etc and I don't think it's made any difference at all. My twins are not at Oxbridge and didn't try either. Had they wanted to try I would have supported them as it's always worth a go but they didn't want to and they are happy where they are (and their school had a 100% failure rate of all Oxbridge applications last year anyway although I am not sure about this year)

I suppose because you think your child would have had a very enjoyable time there? And work hard because surrounded by other very hard working people? For the same reason that people want their children to get into the best schools really...except suddenly it is not about money it is about merit, academic merit?

Why wouldn't people have a dream about that? Of course there are other lovely places to work hard and enjoy life, but it is like wanting to live a particular part of town, or being keen on a particular person. Of course there are other places and other suitable mates...but you are still allowed to be disappointed, surely? And then breathe and move forward.

University is just the start of the rest of life . In fact when people say it is their best years I think that's very sad. I loved my university years but each year after has been better and better. I am very lucky.

My DD is going to have a crack at Oxbridge. She did the UNIQ summer school in July and had 'the best week of her life'. The students were very much encouraged to apply and did receive an awful lot of information and help regarding the application process.

I'm going to absolutely support her and be pleased and proud if she achieved her goal. She's liked everywhere we've visited so far for open days and says she'll be happy with any of her choices. She also thinks just going through the process will be beneficial (the course she has chosen do interview quite a high percentage of applicants), whatever the outcome.

But no reason to not give it a go, with a healthy dose of realism.

The question will be whether I post on Facebook

Lonicera the Said Business School is part of Oxford Uni, so perhaps she was telling the truth.

Gosh well I'm actually sorry and surprised to hear about your DD's boyfriend. I was a bit sharp about some of his attitudes (as posted by yourself on Higher Ed). But to miss a place must hurt. Did he miss by much? They do look at near misses and still accept (that happened to DS2 although he did subsequently get remarks and shot back up). Is it a definitive no or is a place still possible depending on a remark. I expect the mum was disappointed for her DS, it's very hard to see them hurt.

Nettleskeins if the standard offer grades are missed there's absolutely no point whatsoever in re-applying, in the absence of serious mitigating circumstances.

McNutty if a DC has an offer and misses their grades surely it's very natural as a mother to be upset because they're upset. It's a slightly different situation from not getting an offer, especially with the standard offer for Oxford always being relatively low. I have to say my mood is inextricably linked with the happiness of my DC. Perhaps that's odd, but I can't be happy if one of them has a problem.

“when people say it is their best years I think that's very sad. I loved my university years but each year after has been better and better. I am very lucky.”

Yes. It’s a bit worrying to think that life goes downhill after university.

goodbyestranger the girl in question is not very academic, and I have known her mum for years. She is prone to exaggeration, shall we say. The BF missed by a grade in 2 different subjects and got an immediate rejection on track. I know his parents and I was a bit concerned that they might be disappointed in him rather than disappointed for him. TBH I’m not even sure he would have thrived in that kind of pressurised environment anyway. And who knows, maybe he could end up at an Oxbridge university for a Masters degree.

I'm sure sport is NOT inclusive. If there's any competition involved, then the school/coach will put out the best team to win. And so with most of life. Apologies to all those whose children don't win prizes in athletics or snaffle a bagful of A* exam results. (Mine hasn't). Life is about selections, the able from the less able, the fitter and stronger beat the weak and uncommitted. The better rule would be about how the best and most able use their skills to encourage the less able. If someone has said this before me, then please understand that I HNRFT.

We are really enjoying DS having achieved slightly better results than predicted. He worked very hard, but is never going to be an academic or a master of the universe. He is much more enthusiastic about a practical course he's taking over the summer than 15 years of formal education, but if he changes his mind, he has A levels that will get him into a reasonable but not stellar university to change direction.

A medal in swimming is insignificant compared to 3x As and an oxbridge place.*

Not if it's at national, international or Olympic level. Because there are far more places at Oxbridge than there are on the medal podium. They may earn more over a life time, but the achievement is different.

Ah I see Lonicera. Presumably he got an A* in History though. Is he thinking of remarks?

Just saying that Business does exist at Oxford but I quite get that some people get silly about saying Oxford when they mean Brookes etc.

No, a B.

He needed AAA and got ABB.

That must have been a big shock. Poor kid. There wouldn't be any point reapplying with a B - the application would go straight into the No pile.

Congrats to your DD btw.

I feel gutted for him, so does DD, and thank you. DD wants to do biomedical science, and with AAA she should have her pick of universities for 2019 entry.

AAA - yes she's in a really good place going forward!

You'd all hate me then as I put dds grades on FB. I am genuinely very, very proud of her and don't give a rat's arse if people defriend me because of it.

All of my DC say that it's an absolute no no to put grades or degree classifications on fb so I'd assume some DC would be pretty pissed if their mum did it for them.

Having been answering questions like 'where does DS want to go to university?' all year with 'he wants to study x, depends on his grades where he goes' and then if pressed 'it will hopefully be either Cambridge or x, depends on his grades, Cambridge is a pretty stiff offer, but he did it in his mocks so we will see,' I did indeed post on FB that he would be starting at Cambridge in October, but only once he had posted himself. I didn't mention grades, and am only telling those who directly ask. I didn't want people to think I was bragging, but it did seem the quickest way to let folk know - close family beside who got a very excited phone call from DS not long after track went live last Thursday.

PandaG it is already pretty much a given what the grades would be if your DS managed to get into Cambridge. Well done to him.

I always wonder what DCs would think about posters posting A level grades and degree classifications on Mumsnet especially when posters are recognisable in RL.

Sometimes it's relevant to the thread but I wouldn't do it.