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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

A Level Results Day

479 replies

3catsandadog · 30/07/2018 09:50

Hi If UCAS does not update first thing before the school opens for result is it a bad sign that the offer has been missed.
Good luck to everyone awaiting results :)

OP posts:
swingofthings · 19/08/2018 10:51

I'm too puzzled why giving grades is such a no no. It feels similar to sharing that you're away on holiday but not saying where because if it's anywhere others might like to go too it would be bragging.

I'm glad that I've only accepted to be friends with limited people on FB mainly people who asked to be friends with and those are people who are genuinely happy for my DD. If anyone feels that they don't want to be friend any longer because I shared my feeling of pride on this occasion it would be no loss to me at all.

whosafraidofabigduckfart · 19/08/2018 11:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

goodbyestranger · 19/08/2018 11:17

I've avoided fb from the start swingofthings and have no opinion really, I just know that among my DC and their fb friends it's not done to post specific grades.

In answer to NotTheWayISeeIt, I can say that my DC at least don't care two hoots about MN or indeed anything I say on it relating to education/ their grades. I never ever ever post about personal things (which I think they might well object too) but educational things are hardly sensitive. Obviously people at school and uni tend to know each others' grades anyway. My comment is about fb specifically. It's very different because of the distribution between shared friends so I can see why if the DC don't do it they might well not want their mums to do it but then if they have no shared friends it's less important - no convention is breached.

ErrolTheDragon · 19/08/2018 11:21

There are some MN threads where posting grades is fine - where a 'support group' has formed over months and years, for instance. As a long term member of one such, it occurs to me it serves as a useful 'over-invested parents anonymous' for some of us.Grin

I don't do FB, I guess part the problem there is that not all contacts are true friends. With RL friends with kids of the same age, I think people genuinely want to know and then either be delighted or commiserate or be positive, but tact may be required. In some cases finding out through a third party can be helpful so you can consider how to respond helpfully.

swingofthings · 19/08/2018 11:24

I guess a lot of it depends on who they are 'friends' with on FB.

I don't get it. If you can't be happy for someone you consider a friend why sending an invite to become their friend or why accepting their invitation? I have refused to be friends with anyone I didn't care for including a number of my kids' friends who have no reasons to care for what I'm up to.

I can think of two people who might have thought I was bragging - it was certainly not my attention-. If they took me off their friends' list I really won't care. Both asked to be friends with me in the first place I wasn't too bothered one way or the other.

UrsulaPandress · 19/08/2018 11:40

My DD clearly didn't get the same memo as your's stranger.

goodbyestranger · 19/08/2018 11:43

Oh well, different groups I guess but between them I think my DC have hundreds and hundreds of 'friends'. They've all always said no grades, but sometimes people congratulate on the wall.

UrsulaPandress · 19/08/2018 11:56

What lucky dc.

goodbyestranger · 19/08/2018 12:01

Not sure what that means Confused - 'friends' is quite deliberately in inverted commas. It's fb fgs!

swingofthings · 19/08/2018 12:49

'friends' as in differing between close and casual friends. FB doesn't make the distinction its up to people to define who they consider friends for this purpose. Some will have 100s of friends but only ever see or talk to 1/2 or less outside of FB others will only have the few they see regularly so contact via FB is going to be very different depending on this I think.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 19/08/2018 13:03

I have no idea what dds friends think on this issue or indeed really or many other issues. I don't canvas their opinion.

ShanghaiDiva · 19/08/2018 13:16

I don't mind if people post grades - I am friends with them after all - why wouldn't I be interested?
Some of ds's friends' parents posted results -as long as the kids are happy for them to do that I don't see a problem.

goodbyestranger · 19/08/2018 13:16

I don't canvas my DC OYBBK I simply call it talking to them.

YearOfYouRemember · 19/08/2018 13:27

I'm another one with six consecutive years of exams. My kids are about to start years 9, 11 and 13 but the older two took some GCSEs a year early. This month we're waiting in a resit for DC1 as he wanted a higher grade (A to A*Shock) and a couple of GCSEs for DC2. Then next year one will be sitting A levels and the other sitting their GCSEs while the younger one chooses his options

Thesearepearls · 19/08/2018 20:11

The reason why I feel that posting on FB might be wrong and insensitive is that there are a couple of parents in my FB group of friends (and indeed DC too) who have not achieved their grades

DS's GF did not make her grades and had a shatteringly unexpected result in one exam (predicted an A got an E) so we're feeling awful for her of course and she's still in a very unsettled place. She knew the exam was going badly and panicked and so of course it went from bad to worse.

So posting grades (if your DC did well) could be horribly gloaty in those sorts of circumstances.

UrsulaPandress · 19/08/2018 20:21

There is always going to be someone who hasn't succeeded in something. No one would ever post baby news for fear of upsetting those who can't conceive. A driving test pass because others have failed. Why pick on A level results?

Thesearepearls · 19/08/2018 20:30

That's a logical response of course. It would still feel a bit insensitive. It wouldn't have occurred to me to post about driving tests (DD passed hers, DS can't be bothered to learn) but I get the point about baby news. It still feels a bit wrong though ...

Greentent · 19/08/2018 21:31

I guess it depends on who is posting the results... my friend's DS went through really tough times and worked extremely hard to achieve all A*/A GCSE's so fine to post on FB - everyone really pleased for them. I am equally proud of DS's Grade C in Maths (a miracle). He's off to uni but I waited to hear from other Year 13 parents that their kids got in before posting the good news. I think FB must be pretty shite for the unintentionally child-free.

maryso · 19/08/2018 22:22

Sensitivity is not the only driver of whether people post news on social media. Insensitive people may choose not to post and sensitive ones may choose to.

It's simplistic (although in most cases well-intentioned) to reduce it to a matter of sensitivity. Social media is inherently superficial, and can be enjoyed as such or brushed off as such.

goodbyestranger · 19/08/2018 22:37

Errol I avoided fb from the moment it reared its head in our house c. 2006, the year my eldest took her GCSEs. It seemed to me then that if I joined it would be odd if the DC weren't my 'friends', but that if they were then I'd be compromising their privacy. I'm extremely glad that they haven't felt I've been hovering over them and glad that I haven't been subject to these moral dilemmas....

Nagaram · 19/08/2018 23:11

I got told once that my dd shouldn’t be put in for the Level 6 papers (at primary) because it was upsetting for the other kids who weren’t entered. No idea how they knew. Her dd was picked as captain of the football team my daughter really wanted to be in. My friend told her ‘does that mean you’re not going to celebrate when they get picked for the footy team and win?’ I laughed on the inside Grin.
I wanted to scream my dd’s GCSE results on social media, megaphone etc etc but I just put up a photo of her smiling and a well done. I told every shop assistant and even a telephone salesman for a couple of weeks instead! We had no idea how she’d do a relative died traumatically beforehand and it really affected all of us. So a year late..... 998A*AAAAAA. Bizarrely not many people in RL know that. Wink

vivprod · 20/08/2018 08:12

Hi my DD lost out on he firm choice uni by 5 marks. Has not stopped crying since results day. We have asked 6th form for re-mark of paper. Uni says they will hold her place until 31st August, but could not guarantee accommodation after 23rd. Does any one know or have any experience about how long re-marking usually takes, we have been told 2 - 15 days!
Many thanks from an anxious mother.

cathyandclare · 20/08/2018 08:16

Ours took 4 days (including a weekend) AQA and 8 days (another board, not AQA or Edexel but can't remember the name).

Both priority remarks ordered on results day.

cathyandclare · 20/08/2018 08:22

Good luck @Vivprod, it's a horrible time. Both DD1 and DD2's went up (one last year, after the remark changes). DD1 was devastated, having missed her firm. We found out about the grade going up half way to Bristol to look for accommodation. Does she have an insurance? Because thinking about that, and remembering what she liked about the course when she applied, was the only way we could get DD1 out of her pit of despair.

JuneMyNameIsJune · 20/08/2018 13:29

vivprod I hope you're daughter is ok. It is crushing to experience a near miss like that, especially as it sounds as though she has worked really hard. It takes a while to process deep disappointment.

DS2 has landed on his feet. Dropped grades in 2 out of 3 subjects (pretty much zero work this year ). Missed out on firm and insurance offers. Wasn't in the least bit bothered. I helpfully forced sat next to him whilst he worked through the list of offers he rejected and other RG places in clearing.

He's landed a fabulous offer at a RG Uni he liked but dropped out of the mix when he made his final selection. It is actually a better course than his firm and insurance choice.

Not sure how I feel TBH. He considered retakes (was predicted all A* but did not get that!) but if he wasn't motivated last year I can't see that changing. Also, he is ready to leave home and TBH so am I. I just don't want to encourage the half arsing everything but I am hoping he takes the opportunity and grabs it with both hands.