Oxbridge applicants 2018 part 2

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

Hopefully this is in time!

OYBBK my DD was unsuccessful this year but I came to this page eager to see that other DC had got offers. I shared Raindrops posts with DD and she felt encouraged to try again next year, she was thrilled that Raindrops DD got an offer.
Please don't feel bad about being proud of your DC's success.

Am I proud of my daughter's academic success? I always congratulate her when any milestone has been reached. And/or when she's taken an exam - before results come through - because the process is stressful. It is, in some ways convenient for me, that she is clever. We can argue about books and ideas. I think that her ability to focus and set herself quite difficult goals has advantages. It has some disadvantages too - because she will sometimes get unduly worked-up in the process of trying to achieve those goals. I suppose what I believe is important is that she knows I am there for her in all the ups and downs.(There is a level on which I believe that exam grades are not ultimately the most important things in life and that it is important to have a wider set of values.) I think part of my own daughter's brightness is that she is well aware of the advantages which she has - and which some other young people do not have. Therefore, she is not 'ashamed' of the fact she accessed a good university place. But neither is she caught up in some deluded sense that it is solely down to her own individual amazing-ness. Perhaps I am most proud of the fact she's always been clear about this.

I'm proud of dds tenacity and hard work and for persisting through self confidence issues. She got herself to where she is by sheer determination and drive. It's not always been an easy road.

Holly such lovely posts and what an amazing daughter you must have. My DS joined an offer holder group and out of the 5 of them 2 were re-applicants and 2 of them had taken a gap year before applying. It appears to me that those with achieved grades are in a stronger position and if it is something she really wants to do then go for it!

Ds got in second-time around.

He was a) older (he is very young looking anyway), b) had read a lot more, c) was absolutely up for it and ready for the interviews (he was a last-minute candidate the year before and very nervous and -he admits - unprepared and d) he was brandishing a full house at A Level (shameless mum boast!).

The main thing I teach my dcs is not to be me. I have spent my whole life taking rejections personally and most of the time not even trying in case I do get rejected. An old friend was rejected from the John Lewis Management Training Scheme, in spite of working there in the university holidays and her mother being an account customer . Neither friend nor her mother have set foot in JL for 30 years . This is cutting off your nose to spite your face extreme!

I have to say that I have received nothing but positive feedback from friends and acquaintances about my DD's offer. I even had an acquaintance from my train chasing after me yesterday to find out how she did! I am very proud of her success but want to make sure that my other DCs know that I am equally proud of proud of them for their own different achievements.

Lovely to hear Dancing Dreamer. All achievements and efforts should be recognised and I think that must and should include an Oxbridge offer. Neither of my other DC were in a position to apply but they could not be happier for their DB.
It has made me sad to hear the number of parents who feel the need to play down or be very secretive about their children's achievements. Those applicants who have been disappointed will sadly still be disappointed whatever we do. Unfortunately life is full of sadness and disappointment and so it is really important that we celebrate the good things when they happen. My DS is academically able but a long way behind his siblings in other areas. It would be unfair on him not to treat his success in the same way as the achievements of my other DC. Therefore I am proud to announce that my DS will be going to Oxford University.

We are very blessed receiving a lot of congratulations from friends, though i deliberately not spreading the news to acquaintances and friends with DCs also applying to unis this year (just in case they might be getting rejections and being upset). DS did remind me “not be too proud and better stay low key”

One minor frustration is DS’ college at Oxford has been incredibly slow in replying to his request for English requirement exemption! It’s been almost a month and DS had chased for few times by emails and phone! They did verbally told him he could be exempted, in last summer before he even applied, and said the same in the call lately, but DS is hoping for a formal reply and alteration of the offer on UCAS so that he can firm Oxford. However, don’t think we should do any more chasing as it will start becoming annoying!

That is frustrating but will inevitably be resolved I am sure. Glad your friends are being supportive to you and your DS, and allowing you to be a proud mum.

We've had mostly positve, kind responses to DDs offer but a few were off:

'Oh you were pooled to that college , my DD got her first choice which is so well esteemed'. I called this parent up to congratulate her as our kids were at primary school together and she did not congratulate my DD at all.

Also, " you have to reject it, that college is awful!" They also knew very little about oxbridge.

Luckily, most people were just excited about the whole thing as we were. We know very little about oxbridge and it just seems so exciting as well as scary or is daunting a better word. My DD has been looking up what ' imposter syndrome' is too!!

It's a big thing getting a place at Oxbridge so when friends are nice it really helps. DDs friends have been so kind.

After my DD only applying at the last minute, feeling nervous about the whole thing ( which I've talked about at length on here - hope I didn't bore!) , she's decided to firm cambridge. I'm pleased for her. Obviously, she has to get grades so no guarantees but fingers crossed she has a good chance.

It feels like an amazing achievement that she has got this far.I hope I can share my pride on here without need in gto blush! I hope other parents are enjoying this time too.

Next year, wherever they go, there will be pressure and I for one might be worried.

Ds says every day he pinches himself!

I had to laugh at those comments rosapink because they are so ridiculous as to be funny.
As for the mum and DC you congratulated with no return - as I assume they are no great friends - possibly think about moving on from them. I believe in being a loyal and supportive friend to those who deserve it.

Fabulous violets. Definitely no need for blushes - here or anywhere else.

Sorry voilets.

LadyinCement I know what you mean. Feels like utter madness but so exciting!!!

agree with Champagne that we should forget about and move on from “not real friends”!
I was so glad that DS of my long time close friends got Cambridge offer in early morning of Jan 10, after a difficult gap year (I was so happy for them even when I was anxiously waiting for Oxford with my son) ; then 2 hours later my DS got the good news from Oxford! We both were so thrilled and proud of each other! My friends even saved their celebration champagne 🥂 till now waiting for my DS being back to HK for mid term break! We will celebrate and toast with a big feast on Valentine’s Day!
That’s what friends are for!

I agree alittlechampagne , they are ridiculous comments but somehow they niggle in the heat of the moment. And yes, I don't think I'll take a coffee with lady in question for some time if at all.

Thanks for the okay alittlechampagne, I'm still celebrating!

How nice ladyincement that your DS is so pleased everyday that he's been given this chance.

So nice to chatter about 'it' here - would bore others elsewhere no doubt.

Love the idea of a big feast on Valentines Day Risotto.
rosapink of course these thoughtless comments are upsetting and let's face it have been deliberately said to burst your bubble. Spend your time with the friends who are excited because you are, and those who show respect for and appreciation of your DD.

Actually rosapink they are not thoughtless. They are more deliberate than that!

Just popping in to update. Dd wasn't offered at Cambridge and was completely floored by it to a degree which took us by surprise.

It then emerged that while she seemed very laissez-faire about it, she had viewed getting a place as a great two fingers up to everyone at school who had doubted her

She's in the first female VI form intake at a previously all-boys grammar and has had a lot of grief academically which she's been challenging (and has had a lot of success doing so) but she acknowledged it wasn't a rational approach. We've requested feedback so will see what they say. I do feel her less-than-stellar GCSEs may have been a factor.

Since then she's had offers from her last two, Edinburgh and St Andrews - both at lower than their usual tariff so she's thrilled.

Does she regret going for Cambridge? Probably yes but now has very achievable offers for places and courses she really likes.

Well done to everyone whose DCs have been offered!

Maladicta do you think your DD will try applying to Cambridge, or indeed Oxford, next year after she’s got her exam results?

I think it will depend on several factors - the result of her feedback and how she gets on at the offer holder days being prime.

DS finally got reply from Oxford granted waiver for his English requirement (for international students)! Phew! So now he can focus on mocks at school and endeavour in getting the two As in GCE Phy and Chem to meet the offer! We are really glad and looking forward to Sep/Oct! Already booked a trip to travel around Scandinavia then go to Oxford with him in early Oct for fresher week!
We are so confident in him! Lol