Oxbridge applicants 2018 part 2

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

Hopefully this is in time!

I'm not quite sure what that means Raindrops. Your DD presumably doesn't read these threads and doesn't know what you wrote about your concerns.

My daughter started at Cambridge this year and had many of the worries that pps have said some of their dc have had. In fact, right up until the night before we were unsure that she would actually go. She has a history of anxiety and insomnia and started after 2 weeks of barely any sleep.

It has been a roller coaster but she loves it now, although the work is gruelling and sometimes puts a strain on her mental health she has made amazing friends and. as they are all in the same boat, that really helps. She has had a lot of really good pastoral support (college nurse, counselling cbt).

It is a crazy, intense place but she has settled well and is challenging herself every day. She is about to go back for the second term and looking forward to it (apart from the mock exam next week!). If anyone has any questions would be happy to try and help.

For some families there are conversations to be had and decisions to be made but there is plenty of time. I don't think the problem is about meeting offers as I am sure people will have good insurance unis anyway. I think it is about what will suit different DC - for my DS that is most definitely Oxford but that would not have been the case for my others. Our DC will do best where they are most happy. Don't be persuaded by others or worry what family and friends will say - you know your DC best.

I've just checked back Raindrops to see your post of Sunday 7th is still standing and that I didn't do anything out of order which might require an apology. You might want to delete it, it's not my business to do it for you but it is on the personal side and you clearly resent well meaning posters picking up on it and trying to give seasoned advice.

Well I'm not glad thst you feel it's acceptable to pour cold water all over the happiness on what is supposed to be a supportive thread goodbye. And actually Goodbye, stranger. I won't be back.

It sounded to me Goodbye like you meant well. Don't worry. It has been a stressful week for all.

My posts were totally supportive Raindrops, and borne of considerable experience. I really do think you should ask for the post in question to be deleted.

Cheers Hubble. Absolutely.

spangle thank you for your supportive post. I just hope that my DD can make the right choice for her, academically and socially.

goodbye, please just leave it, you clearly have a lot of experience with your kids, but you aren't helping an upset parent at something that sounds very difficult. Just as you are an expert in your children, she will be an expert in her child and will full well know the potential risk points.

raindrops, you don't need to leave the thread, I'm sorry you are feeling upset.

So how are dc feeling now, and their parents?

A distinctly more chilled vibe going on here and any wobbles seem to have rapidly vanished. It is so nice not to be waiting for anything big for a while, but just being able to get on with generally living.

Spangle, that is good to read, thank you :)

Oh dear - I feel a bit sad now. :(. Raindrops I am sorry that your happiness is so easily spoilt, but I do understand how that can happen when you are under pressure and dealing with a stressful situation.. You need to look after yourself too.

Kitten I had left it entirely, by the time you wrote that post nearly an hour later. Quite obviously I don't respond to a very explicit post written by a parent herself in order to upset but purely to help, in the proper spirit of these threads - I'm not sure that merits any criticism whatsoever. The original post would be better deleted.

I know you were well intentioned goodbye, nevertheless it is still possible to hurt people with good intentions. I know sometimes I've done it and had to apologise.

It's been a tough week for people here, and tougher for some than for others. I expect all of us who were waiting for verdicts are very tired and quite possibly emotional still.

I'm very aware still that there are people who were posting here a few days ago whose dc are probably pretty gutted still. for them.

Yes Kitten I completely agree that those DC who were disappointed should be at the forefront of people's minds and that they've been somewhat eclipsed. I'm very conscious of that group too.

Ah , I haven't read any unsupportive posts on here .

Just to say , congratulations to those with offers . For those who don't , My DS is out this evening for a birthday meal with a friend who didn't get a Cambridge offer. He's at UCL and I would seriously bet the farm he wouldn't swap now. He loves it.

Hey goodbye and raindrops It’s so easy to be misunderstood in this medium!!
Raindrops I hope you don’t leave as you have had really useful stuff to say and have helped others and equally I hope you don’t feel bad about what you said goodbye as I know you spoke with good intentions and tried to help which is the reason I’m glued to this thread atm! Sleep well everyone x

Ah Raindrops I was so delighted to hear your DD got good news.
We'd all be sorry to see you go.

Goodbye your advice and words of wisdom on this thread, and the rest of MN, are have been hugely appreciated and endlessly helpful.

It is such a shame when the tone of a post is lost or misinterpreted, but as pps have said, that is the problem with text.

Goodbye you mentioned it can work out for the best if a dc is moved sideways to a different college.

This is exactly what has happened to DD.

She applied to Brasenose - purely because she went there for her Subject taster day back in March and quite liked it - we couldn't make the open day so no chance to look around any other colleges and she figured she'd stick with what she knew.

She occasionally had a niggle that she wished she'd applied to Exeter (huge Pullman fan, decided she was going to Oxford aged 7 after reading about It in Northern Lights) but had resoned that loving a book wasn't a good enough reason to base her choice on.

She then had her second or third interview there and completely fell in love with it.

Guess where her offer is from?

Yep, Exeter and she is over the moon!
The more exploring and researching she does the more she loves it and the more it seems like just the perfect fit for her.

Happy days Lobster and very calm and sensible post.

Has been interesting reading all the posts. I think it has been a hell of a week for many of us. Please all keep posting - need a range of insights!
We all laughed here, including DD eventually as all her friends/peers were crying because they didn't get in and my DD was crying because she did! She had so convinced herself that she had not got a place that the last few days she's been in shock!

To add to the waverers, my DD has always wobbled over her choice. Partly, for fear of the workload and so I found her some really helpful posts on student room about different students working styles and how they managed and how there was still time to take part in societies and dance at the odd party! Love your post spangle - thanks!

Lobster I didn't mean quite that literally sideways! :) But yes, things have a strange and very welcome habit of working out, even if it doesn't always seem like that at the time.

DS's written offer finally arrived today, addressed to Mr oursurname with no initial, and no identifying marks on the envelope so DH opened it expecting it to be junk mail for him not DS. We were wondering if anonymous envelopes were deliberate.

No, that won't be deliberate it will be an admin error. Anything deliberate would be a significant breach of data protection.

Voilets, can you share links to the useful TSR posts regarding handling Oxbridge life? Sounds really helpful!