Starting lectures at uni 2017

[HSMMaCM]

The other thread filled up really quickly, with exciting talk of laundry, mattress toppers and lost property.

Here's where the rest of them settle in, get through freshers and the work gets serious.

Impressed by your DD's handling of the nasty text Needmoresleep. Beats me how anyone, even an eighteen year old, can think it's a smart idea to send a nasty text of that nature in the first weeks of uni.

I saw a very sad looking young fellow sitting on some steps by the river on Monday afternoon, having dropped DS. He was on the phone, but clearly not enjoying his first couple of days at uni. They suddenly look so young when they're sad. I felt sorry for his mum too, on the other end of the phone. Very tough all round. And earlier on in a cafe grabbing a much needed coffee I was next to two parents anxiously trying to persuade their son not to drop out. The son looked so tired. Quite a sobering day.

It is very hard for students who are lonely or struggling. Awful for their parents too.

The boy in the next room to ds came out and said hello when I arrived with ds. He was bright red in the face and stuttering and it was obviously a real effort for him to be sociable. It actually gave me a lump in my throat and I just felt like hugging him. Good job I managed to restrain myself. Can't have random mothers hugging other people's sons!

Stranger, I was too. She forwarded the text to me and asked for suggestions on how to respond. I am not sure I would have been so calm at the same age. Five months of chalet hosting, witnessing endless drama, means that she is aware that you do your best to avoid falling out with those you live with. (There she shared a room with three others, so really important.)

It also has her well prepared to cope with those who do not pull their weight in group exercises. She found herself sharing chalet duties with a lovely, charming boy who was prone to leaving her with the bulk of the work whilst he acted "mine host" to the guests. Feedback usually had her as slightly reserved and unfriendly whilst he got full marks. By the end she did not care. He was nice, gave her full credit for what she did, supportive when they hit real problems, and will probably swan through life in the same fashion. Nothing is perfect, certainly not flat mates.

It is also helping her take a longer view. She does not make friends quickly but will find her tribe in the end. It is far more difficult for those who expect to find their feet, and their people, in the first week, then don't. We are going down this weekend, as much because we want to see her, but she seems to be looking forward to it. DS stayed in London, so much easier to catch up when he popped home to collect an Amazon parcel or have a coffee with him when passing.

In Brideshead Revisited it says something like, You spend the second year trying to shake off the friends you made in your first...

Very mature behaviour from your DD Need . I'm sure she will find her feet. My DD told me she felt taking a year out and getting a job was making it easier for her to cope with settling in.

We're dropping off the rest of her stuff on Saturday. It will be so lovely to see her. And she says she's looking forward to seeing us.

Thats great Iittleho!
Good luck on the next step.

And NMS. Sounds like my DD (and I back in the 80's) has been very lucky with her flatmates. So far!

BTM, the flatmates are fine, indeed nice, with only a couple of party animals. The issue is that they are all so young, and some have not lived away from home before. Apparently there are lots of flats that are far rowdier than hers, so she is comparatively lucky.

Texting, rather than talking to someone is bad form, but adults do that as well. And the work is hotting up so hopefully there will be a better balance and a chance to catch up on sleep. Three hours anatomy on a Monday morning is probably a killer at the best of times.

So I told ds I would come and take him out for lunch once he's settled in (2 hour journey so easy day trip). He's asked me a few times when I'm going down which has made me worried that he's not settling in and missing his old mum. He just asked me again and I texted back to ask what days would be good for him.

His reply? "Tomorrow or Friday cos there's a freshers ball on Saturday and I need you to bring my dinner suit..."

Trying so hard to curb the urge to message DS every day with a thousand questions which of course basically all boil down to "Are you ok? I know you SAY you are ok but are you really?!" Got a brief message from him on Monday to say he enjoyed his first lecture. This is such a weird time, starting to get used to him not being around...noticed weekly food shop was a lot cheaper today and the house is staying tidier! Ah miss the boy x

Haha stone circle. And you we're worrying about him

DD just sent a picture of a letter from tv licensing. I said I'd take a look on Sunday and help her reply. She said "I can do it online. I don't need you".

She hasn't seen me since 20th September when I dropped her off and now she doesn't need me any more !

Did I mention, I'm super excited about our first visit.

stonecircle - love it!

NMS, I'm afraid my DD and 5 of her flatmates are party animals, but do have some quiet movie-nights, etc in

DD had a long chat with DH while I was tied up working () - all good, joined several societies to try them out.

Over the moon, DD is coming home for a weekend soon! :-)

Classic text about the suit for the ball!

I loved your post too Onemandown about how all the questions you think of asking all boil down to the same thing, yes but are you really OK?
Kind of nailed it there I think.
Ooh, all this talk of visits makes me want to arrange one.
We left it that it was most likely DD would try to get home one weekend this term, possibly in October, as we agreed that Christmas seemed a bit of a long way off.
Well, possibly she agreed with me!

One sent me the fees and rent bill this morning so I am £17k+ lighter since this morning, lucky me and lucky tax payers I am saving you the burden.... Most of all lucky son. Then he wanted the evidence they are allowed a small fridge in halls room - I sent him the pdf guide I had printed off when I dropped him off but emailed it again and the relevant quote (halls rooms inspection is taking place).....

Then I chatted to his twin who seemed very happy indeed particularly with small amount of lectures. He was slightly late for a seminar today and was glad he doesn't have one lecturer - she shouts at anyone even 2 minutes late (which is probably a good idea as it is very disruptive when people are late - if the queues are so long for the free buses (which they are) my lot will just have to leavel oads of extra time. He says one school friend is finding it hard to fit in where he has ended up and another is not enjoying it so far. Both of those boys are self catering but it won't be that reason. My son thought it might be because they are cookingb ut I doubt it or he thinks one might not be used to not being top dog at school which might be possible or is not that friendly and kind to people (my only instruction to the twins at university is "be kind").

He thinks his twin has got on to one or two good sports teams which is nice. Allseems well. I don't know why one has had two invoices and the other had neither invoice yet though unless it just depends on the halls but one bill is for fees so that is not hall specific.

I don't think we will visit or they will visit. It's just a bit too busy at both ends - here and with them at the moment. May be next term will be possible.

Oldie, DD is walking up the hill to lectures for extra exercise. Not because the buses are so unreliable and she cuts it v fine

Yay!, ds managed to get his sis on a skype call. She looks and sounds fine and seems to have settled really well. Phew!

Great news simbobs
Tilly DD is choosing to walk as well, it's not far and takes 15-20 minutes but she'll get quicker as she does it more. She's glad she's not at one of the residences further out as the buses are a nightmare apparently.

My DD is in the city centre close to her lectures, but one of her friends is in halls quite a way out as others have described, and very reliant on buses. Not such a happy experience for her and looking to swap. I'm glad my DD is 4 floors up with no lifts or I would worry about her level of exercise.

4 floors with no lift?! My DD is on the 14th floor and is very thankful for the lift

She was telling me about a friend from a flat downstairs, I replied that all of her friends were downstairs.....she's got the best flat in the building.

Glad your DD has been in touch simbobs

dd feeling poorly today
'Freshers Flu' she reckons.

However, still struggled into the kitchen and made herself a cottage pie so I suspect she'll pull through.

Good chat with ds today. He sounds OK, likes his flatmates and has joined a sports team but he's 'always hungry' (self-catering) and feeling a bit unconfident on the course-mates side. He thinks everyone else has made thousands of friends when he's only made a couple. He said he misses school never thought I'd hear him say that because he knew who his mates were and where they'd be sitting.

He's signed up to showing his room on the next open day (for ££). But ds, I say, your room will need to be clean and tidy. So will your kitchen. and your flatmates will all need to agree.
Yes he says, I want them all to clean the flat and I like having a tidy room.

This is the son who has never tidied his bedroom in his life, who is chronically incapable of cleaning up in the kitchen at home and who has no conception of cleaning a bathroom.

Who is this person and where is my son?

Some of them are finding tidyness.... My older son was here today and he said it is annoying crumbs stay... well yes, their magic fairy who cleans the kitchen surfaces (me) is now not around. (He has also bought himself a vacuum cleaner - this is my adult, not student, son who just moved into his own house)

My twins like being a bit further out from Bristol actually rather than being in the centre although they do have the buses to cope with.