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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Starting lectures at uni 2017

947 replies

HSMMaCM · 30/09/2017 20:06

The other thread filled up really quickly, with exciting talk of laundry, mattress toppers and lost property.

Here's where the rest of them settle in, get through freshers and the work gets serious.

OP posts:
GeorgeTheHamster · 13/10/2017 07:43

I've been holding off from posting as DS had a torrid year last year and has gone to Oxbridge on antidepressants. He is loving it! Busy all the time, made friends, done laundry, started lectures, got stuck into extra curricular stuff...

Skype is great as you can actually see them 😄

Original poster
HSMMaCM · 13/10/2017 07:45

Fantastic that he's moving forwards and finding a way to enjoy life.

OP posts:
GeorgeTheHamster · 13/10/2017 07:56

Thank you. Let's hope it lasts. I've been so worried.

SoupDragon · 13/10/2017 07:57

That sounds wonderful, George. What a relief!

simbobs · 13/10/2017 10:13

I echo what you said, George, mine is also on ADs (wish it were otherwise) and she seems to be well and happy. I feel so much less stressed now that I have seen and spoken to her. That said, she went off with an extra prescription and has yet to see her new gp, though she has registered. Apparently they don't give them appointments until 4 weeks after they have done so. As each surgery seems to operate in its own way there is potential for this to go wrong. I don't want to harp on about her making sure she doesn't run out etc. It really is up to her now.

hoyhoy44 · 13/10/2017 11:53

dd is struggling to find a part time job, she keeps applying for the ones online and has handed a few cvs out but is getting quite disheartened by it all. Her timetable is pretty full during the week so she is just looking for weekend/evening work but it doesnt help her applications that she isnt able to work boxing day or christmas eve due to logistics of getting her back to uni

bigTillyMint · 13/10/2017 11:57

Hoyhoy, DD wants to get a job too. She did apply online for a couple but didnt hear anything. I guess its just luck if they're looking for someone when they go in with a CV.

stonecircle · 13/10/2017 13:23

In my day people seemed to be very aware of how much a full student grant was. If you didn't get a full grant, it was therefore clear how much parents were expected to contribute to bring it up to the maximum.

There's a lot of talk these days about students having to make up any shortfall themselves.

The whole loan system stinks, and I hesitate to suggest that students should take on more debt, but surely it should be possible to borrow up to say £10k so that accommodation and living expenses are covered without the need for a student to work? It's so unfair otherwise to expect students to work to make up the shortfall. A lot are on high contact hours or studying in areas where there aren't many jobs. Surely it defeats the purpose of flooding universities with students if poorer students are deterred from applying because of the cost? And if you're from a low income family it must be worrying to start a degree knowing that you need to work as well - what if the job falls through. What then?

I think there should be an agreed living cost amount that students can borrow -£3-4K? There should also be an accommodation loan - so students can borrow up to say £6k depending on the cost of accommodation at their chosen university.

No way would I want either of my two to work at university - fortunately they don't have to.

ErrolTheDragon · 13/10/2017 14:49

I don't object to the loans (as they're really a graduate tax) in principle but this aspect of it is very bad.

Haffdonga · 13/10/2017 17:15

I completely agree that loans at a minimum should cover basic accommodation costs (e.g. the standard uni hall rate for that uni plus living costs) whatever the income of parents. There's something perverse about a system where students from the lowest income families end up being allowed to borrow the highest amount of debt and the better off students aren't allowed to borrow as much as they need.

The fee for ds's halls (standard self-catered) was several hundred pounds more than his loan and was due a week before his loan came through. Without his supportive parents Halo stumping up several hundred quid he wouldn't have been able to do the course. Indeed I know of one very promising student who had to pull out of his very competitive course in his second year because his parents simply 'didn't believe' in supporting their son despite having the ability to do so. He left with huge debts, no degree and a very damaged relationship with his parents Sad

fairyofallthings · 13/10/2017 17:21

rogue clearly you know how to spell lots of words but really isn't one of them :-)

I hope that your DS is on the mend now.

GreenPolishToGo · 13/10/2017 18:50

George that is such lovely news about your DS. You must be so happy.

My friend is desperate to kick up stink about the rats in her DD's kitchen but she and her DH have been forbidden to interfere by their DD. Fingers crossed that the students can make enough fuss for something to be done.

DH and I, having been lucky enough to go to university in the days of full grants, were shocked when we found out the loan didn't even cover the cost of accommodation. DD worked and saved a lot last year and we would always do our best to make up any shortfall but I'm very sorry for the students whose parents can't or won't help. DD has a friend whose parents think university is a waste of time and they've refused to give her a penny.

simbobs · 13/10/2017 18:57

The abovementioned parents should be ashamed. It is one thing to not be able to afford to contribute, but quite another to refuse to contribute at all. Even in my day when grants were means tested some DC of evidently well off parents had very little money indeed to survive on and were pretty malnourished by the end of a term (think living on packet soup). Most students would struggle to earn enough to support themselves fully during the academic year, even if they could find jobs.

Horsemad · 13/10/2017 19:06

I know a couple whose son is doing medicine. Father is a Major in the army, mother is a teacher and they give their son £30/week!! That has to cover EVERYTHING, including transport.

The poor lad can't get a job as his course is weird hours with placements.

fairyofallthings · 13/10/2017 19:17

21 pairs of pants?! The aliens would love visiting his student flat Grin

fairyofallthings · 13/10/2017 19:21

I don't understand parents who won't help. I earn extremely little and have no potential to earn more but I have moved heaven and earth to make it financially possible for my children to go to university to have what they need for schools. Mind you, I do live on packet soups and bread myself most of the time.

Horsemad · 13/10/2017 19:31

My DS took a similar amount of socks and underwear... Wink

fairyofallthings · 13/10/2017 19:43

My DD took the minimalist approach I think - she took 1 suitcase and 4 boxes which were not that large - think an A4 paper box plus 1/2.

hoyhoy44 · 13/10/2017 20:16

we help dd with food costs and transport, she wants the job so she can travel over summer and doesnt have to work then

rogueantimatter · 13/10/2017 22:25

fairy I'm in a similar situation. DH was made redundant last year and still hasn't got another job. There's thread potential in that.... DS had until the end of january to choose between living at home in scotland or taking the amazing opportunity he got to study in London, ( the conservatoires have their own admissions system) I think a lot of my friends think I'm crazy for not telling him that the london option was too expensive. But I felt if we could find a way to make it work he should have the chance to go to London. He did so well to get the offer. It seems so unfair that you have to be exceptionally talented and come from a well off family to go. Fortunately he got a scholarship and funding from charitable trusts but only for this year. Nothing certain for years 2, 3 and 4. Meanwhile I am living very quietly indeed.

DS still sounds pretty poorly with a very sore throat indeed. His girfriend is travelling down tonight from scotland and he feels bad that he won't be up to much tomorrow. Poor old DS. Also he has been crunching garlic. His poor gf.

fairyofallthings · 13/10/2017 22:33

Rogue I'd have told DD to take the London option in the circumstances. People said to me that I should tell DD that she should live at home and go to the local uni which languishes at the bottom of the league tables (or not far from it) but, having worked her socks off and qualified for more than that, it seemed very unfair.

rogueantimatter · 13/10/2017 22:54

A third of students at 'his' conservatoire come from fee paying schools. Half the students at one of the others come drom fee- paying schools. Half!

fairyofallthings · 14/10/2017 07:50

on dd's course there are about 50% foreign students and 50% domestic students, about 1/2 of those are from private schools.

BlossomCat · 14/10/2017 08:35

I spoke to my son last night. He's got some washing done!!
Only, he didn't do it himself, he payed to get the local laundry service to wash iron and fold a load...

Apparently, it was only £4.50, so probably cheaper than doing it himself.
And at least he'll look ironed, but I pity the poor service dealing with his rugby kit!

Otherwise he said that he is 'good' and the course is 'good' and his flatmates are 'cool'

SoupDragon · 14/10/2017 08:46

21 pairs of pants?!

Assuming they were changed every day...

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