Starting lectures at uni 2017

[HSMMaCM]

The other thread filled up really quickly, with exciting talk of laundry, mattress toppers and lost property.

Here's where the rest of them settle in, get through freshers and the work gets serious.

Dd's rent is a touch under 7k 🙄

7k?!!! Good grief.

I do think at most universities it's possible to find fairly like minded friends, and this can include those with a similar kind of budget, as well as similar interests.

I went to Bristol (OK, a generation ago!) and whilst some people were probably well supported by the bank of Mum and Dad, most of my friends had a full grant equivalent budget, either provided by state or topped up to roughly that amount by parents.

We're going with a broadly similar approach for DD. As her halls are good value and she gets a reasonable loan I think she'll be OK. She seems to have a good attitude to budgeting at the moment, more aware of these things than I ever was - at her age especially I was more hope for the best!

Carl, you have described it. Loud pre drinks, midweek club night, then return 4.00am. Possibly not the same people each time but the disturbance is pretty constant.

It's not the posh ones particularly. They seem to have been able to get it our of their system earlier. Immaturity seems to be the common denominator. Kids from smaller towns who hit the big city. Seemingly ordinary backgrounds but lots of money to burn. Odd.

Dds costs seem much higher than D'S in London. I can't see a big difference in accommodation. But things like sport and subs and compulsory gym membership and kit are adding up. And her text books cost a lot more.

Thank you for all your kind thoughts.
I haven't heard anything more from him today. We have seen him fairly regularly since he went and he seemed happy as Larry on Saturday.

I think catastrophising is the right word ( if indeed it is a word?)
We will see him on the weekend and Granny and Grandad are on the case too.

Good luck then hugo. I like the sound of Granny and Grandad getting into gear :) Hopefully the four of you can getting him back to the Larry state by Sunday.

get getting

It really seems that many of them hit a wall after about 3 weeks of term. Really not surprising. If they've not taken a year out they've had two years pretty much non stop build up towards going to uni through applications, UCAS, A levels, results, getting ready, going. Then the massive hype around freshers week ( Oh you'll meet the people who will be your friends for life etc). Then 3 weeks frantic socialising, joining in and meeting people desperately trying to fit in with a crowd of strangers in case you're the one left out all while you're looking after yourself, finding the lecture hall, working out how to do the work they've given you.

Nobody can maintain that level of adrenalin and excitement for that long. No wonder by 3 weeks in they're looking round thinking hey this isn't all that great after all. The subject I thought I wanted to do is boring. The people in my flat are tossers nothing like me. They're exhausted.

I hope most of them manage to balance things to a new normal so the post freshers crash becomes a more manageable daily routine.

Appalling behaviour by laundry bully boy [angry

Very pleased to hear that student loans have now finally all been paid.

Phoned DS today after he said in a message that he was practising, "But probably not for long as I have a bit of a cold" and he that he had news about the youth music group in scotland.
He's ill. Headache and cough last week. Now he has a sore throat and thinks his glands are up Tired, but going to classes and playing in a thing last night, tonight and thursday. Aagh. He thinks it's a virus that a few students have had. He reckoned he would go to the doc ( hasn't registerd though) next week if not better but I advised phoning on thursday if no improvement by then.

Music group have aaked him to play in concerts in novemeber. This means missing a friday adternoon class. Hope it works out but pretty full on.

Music group in scotland. So he should be coming home. Yippee.

dd seems to have gone fairly quiet. I'm convincing myself that is a good thing.
Sorry to hear about those struggling, but I agree with whoever it was that this is the time to 'hit a wall' for quite a few... the image is they should all have made friends and if they haven't yet (perfectly normal) they worry. Add into that tiredness, a bit of homesickness, probably not eating that well or sleeping that well and they feel worse.
this is when it is hard being far away, as a parent.

So sorry to hear about all the DCs who are having wobbles. Hopefully for most of them, it will be just that - wobbles only, and they'll be fine again soon. It's not easy this parenting lark is it?

DS still has not received any of his student loan. Is he the last? The university say they have now definitely submitted the correct information to SFE so it shouldn't be much longer. Fortunately the first rent payment isn't due until the beginning of November, so there's no immediate panic.

I had forgotten that the rent doesn't need to be paid until the beginning of November. I sincerely hope DD has paid hers and realised that she now has to eke out the rest, having forked out for expensive books. She has been virtually incommunicado since she went, so I just hope she is happy (I'd settle for ok). She has mh probs and is no kind of party animal. She needs to get away to try and find her tribe. Really sorry to hear others' tales of woe. It is so hard to really understand what is going on when you can't see them.

Ds seems to be settling in well. He is in a flat with 4 boys and 4 girls. 3 of them are party goers but out of those 3, 2 of them are studying medicine so as their workload is increasing he says that they are quietening down.
One of the girls announced early on that she refuses to live in a hovel and drew up a rota for cleaning the communal area and emptying the bins. I asked ds if they were all doing their bit and he said that they are too scared not too!
Ds is on a fairly tight budget. He has enough for the odd night out and to cover his sporting interests on top of money for food shopping.

Having threatened DD with late payment fees, uni has now confirmed that she had a direct debit set up. Why did they need all the dramatics? What's wrong with "make sure you have enough money in your account for your direct debit of £nnnm on x date".

Any Southampton parents paid rent yet? We were told it would be collected (from my account) on 9 October, but it hasn't been yet. Wondering if we've given the right account details...

Student finance have finally acknowledged that DD is a student

Phew !!!!!

Good luck with the loan, Twirly.

The private halls DS got put into (the uni's 'guaranteed accommodation' ha ha hollow laughter) had nearly a grand off us just so he could get his keys, whilst the university was cocking up his enrolment and, separately, his student loan.

I feel like I've been through the wringer with this - DS even more so.

Crikey how stressful and crap the student loan process has been for some of you. Cross fingers they've managed to get it sorted now, HSM. Really what you don't need starting uni.

On the subject of different wealth between students, ds1's mate is on a prestigious course at a prestigious Cambridge college. When one of the students on his course was told he wasn't allowed to hold parties in the college grounds, he bought two houses side by side in Cambridge for partying in. Not living in or renting out. Just for parties.

The poor next door neighbours!

Blimey, that's quite something Haffdonga !

1k to get the keys ? Dd is in a private hall but they have some kind of agreement or contract with the uni. Nothing is payable until the end of this month.

Oh DD's private hall provider is 'partnered' with Reading University. Money upfront or do one.

DS

Haffdonga that's obscene. Properly disgusted by such entitlement.