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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Early days at uni 2017

974 replies

HSMMaCM · 18/09/2017 19:38

How is everyone settling in?

DD starts on Wednesday.

OP posts:
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JugglingFromHereToThere · 26/09/2017 09:33

Interesting and a bit tricky to work out how much and in what way you're going to be in touch with them isn't it?
Last couple of days we've been exchanging brief messages and had a short phone call most days, which I think has suited us both, and hopefully been nice/helpful for DD as well as me!
When I went to Uni I should think I phoned home a couple of times a week and had a brief chat using the phone half way up the stairs - quite a dingy kind of space from what I remember. Also I wished I'd talked more with siblings and Father as well as my Mum.
But you have got me thinking a bit Oldie about whether I'm giving her enough space and freedom. She called waiting for a bus and I was asking her which bus and where she was going! Is that too much?! I think we're OK though. I guess we'll work it out!

Nydj · 26/09/2017 09:53

morvah by the time ds got round to trying to book a place on the picnic it was full so he will have another quiet day today - oh well, at least he tried.

Oldie2017 · 26/09/2017 09:55

It depends on the child. One of the twins often chatted to me every day a lot and the other very rarely. Neither has called (I have speoktn to each once in the week since they left and I called them). Their sisters did not come home during term time (and nor did I in my day) so I am not expecting a visit until Christmas but am happy to leave it to them. I hope they have enough friends and siblings so that if there were something they wanted to talk about but not with me they could raise it with someone else.

I will try the chattier one this afternoon on the phone and see if I can get through. Actually he is the one who has always been very quiet in lessons but chatty at home and his twin the other way round who actually did contribute to class discussions.

Doobydoo · 26/09/2017 10:13

Morvah your son sounds lovely. In fact all our dc sound like they are giving it a good go. Picking ds up thurs and taking back sat as its my mums funeral. He sounds ok.....via text. I text in morning and at night i expect it will be less as time goes on. I am sort of managing not to bombard with questions although ds may beg to differ!

Needmoresleep · 26/09/2017 10:15

BTM, the flat fine for making noise after a certain hour (11.00pm?) is apparently £100. I don't know if that just applies to Stoke Bishop. The background noise during my conversation with DD was loud. Difficult in that DD had had a really full day, starting at 9.00am, with sports training after and some homework (whatever it is now called), and so she was tired and, as a dyslexic, needing to concentrate. She was not too bothered though, as she suspects it will all die down once money becomes tight and the weather colder. She has heard of one girl who has already blown through her loan and is onto an overdraft.

We use a family group chat on Messenger, mainly messages including sibling banter, admin etc, and then the occasional call. It started as a gap year thing, when DD only had limited access to wifi, but has continued. Being able to see when she logged onto Fb was really comforting, especially when she was travelling round California, taking night buses to save money on accommodation. Oddly I think DS is missing DD. He has moved home, but has not lived here without his sister before.

I took her stuff down, but DH has not seen her for four months, so, daddy's girl that she is, she plans either to come home or he will visit. Probably not for a few weeks. I think she wants to show him her new home at a point when she is properly settled.

rightsofwomen · 26/09/2017 10:52

Hoorah! The boy has skyped!

He's having a great time. Flat mates are lovely.
He needs a bin, nail scissors and his winter coat.
Been clubbing last 3 nights so a night off tonight.
Found someone who plays guitar.

Awww.

BlossomCat · 26/09/2017 11:27

I've been struggling with my anxiety over the past couple of days; is he eating? Can help get at his money? Will he make friends? etc, etc ad nauseum.

But, I was talking to a very wise woman in her nineties yesterday, who pointed out to me that all the students are in the same situation, they'll help each other through.

I found that very comforting to hear, as well as my sister reminding me that I'd be more worried if he were contacting me all the time, as then I'd know he wasn't socialising or doing anything.
So, no news is good news!

dingit · 26/09/2017 13:11

I had my first anxious call from dd ( but missed it at the time) She was lost on the guilford industrial estate ( they had been sent there to buy boots an overalls for their lab work). By the time I spoke to her she was fine, I'm not sure what I could have done at the time Hmm

ErrolTheDragon · 26/09/2017 13:22

They ought to tell the students beforehand if they need work boots, its still not always easy to get women's sizes. DD has some (size 4) but afaik because they haven't been mentioned hasn't taken them. Oh well... the first week labs are apparently playing with building complicated devices from Lego so she won't need boots for that.Grin

MollyHuaCha · 26/09/2017 13:24

We're off tomorrow. Just completed grocery shopping to fill the fridge and cupboards.

Have given up trying to explain that new towels and duvet covers should be washed here at home before first use at uni tomorrow...

ErrolTheDragon · 26/09/2017 13:35

I just told her 'these need washing before use' and did them. And DD had the nous to realise it would be wise to put her new black skinnies in with a dark load here rather than having their first wash in whatever mixed load she may have. However, she didn't take my advice to not leave the washing of all her woollies until the last week (she lives in them autumn-spring and we can only dry one flat at a time).

amaliaa · 26/09/2017 14:13

I have this image of dingit's poor dd wandering around a wind-blown industrial estate glued to her phone. Grin My dd hasn't mentioned anything about work boots. Now I'll have to ask her.

I had my first anxious call from dd about a form the bank sent her. Hard for me to advise when I couldn't see the form. Talking it through with me seemed to be reassuring for her, but I have no idea if she filled it in correctly.

stonecircle · 26/09/2017 14:30

Just had a phone call from ds, which began with "don't panic. I'm ok. But ....."

He lost his wallet last night. As my mind was running through options which included ringing up the bank for him, getting on the next train with a bundle of cash etc etc, he told me that he'd rung up the bank last night as soon as it was missing to get his card cancelled (did I ever tell him that's what you need to do?) and was going into Barclays this afternoon to get some cash. Annoyingly they told him on the phone a replacement card could only be sent to his home address as that's the only one they have for him. I'm hoping if he speaks to someone face to face he might be able to sort something out.

He thinks he either left it in a taxi or dropped it as he got out. But someone picked it up and handed it in so he got it back today. He'd spent his last fiver so didn't lose any cash.

I forgot to worry about that happening!

rogueantimatter · 26/09/2017 14:32

I fear I might be in the bombarding with questions via fb messenger category of parents. Think I only managed one day without messaging. In my defence there was the ten day saga of a delivery that went astray then arrived incomplete and today l couldn't resist asking how last night's performance went. DS has messaged of his own accord a couple of times with actual news. His answers are getting more and more brief so I will try to wait a few days before messaging.

rogueantimatter · 26/09/2017 14:40

Getahaircut* it's interesting hearing how many students are in your DD's year. There are 40 students in DS' year of jazz performance, probably more doing classical performance. RCS and RAM only take 7 or 8 jazzers a year. I've no idea how many drama students are at the Guildhall. The five students in D's flat are all musicians.

LittleHo · 26/09/2017 15:02

Interesting to read all the adventures. dd2 chats a lot but I think it will be the occasional 'I'm alive' text from dd3.

Annoyingly I've just had a message to say the last minute item I ordered online for her has been 'destroyed in transit'!

GeorgeTheHamster · 26/09/2017 15:02

the privacy and being away from parents and parents not knowing what you do and chance to remake yourself however you like without having to recount how things are going to parents is a huge and important part of university

Wise words

HSMMaCM · 26/09/2017 15:15

I actually told DD if she wanted to reinvent herself, now was the time to do it as long as it's in a good way.

She's met her personal tutor. Hasn't lost anything as far as I know. Found her way around campus. Not got lost in any industrial estates. Sent me messages every day. Used the bus and managed to get back to uni.

Not done any washing yet I don't think, but I'm fairly reassured. I can't wait to go and visit though. We have 8th October pencilled in the diary.

OP posts:
Abra1d · 26/09/2017 15:27

My daughter has lost her speakers. Locked herself out of her bank account. Broken her mobile. In ten days.

My son has required three deliveries of forgotten things by mail. He's in his third
year at university so should be better at this.

I've had enough of spending hours looking for things and sorting it out and am starting to leave my phone where I can't hear it and making them wait. I have a big work deadline and my frail elderly father is ill and I'm expecting to have to go down to see him.

Hmm
HSMMaCM · 26/09/2017 15:33

Oh no Abra! Now is the time to look after yourself I think Flowers

OP posts:
Abra1d · 26/09/2017 15:45

Thanks, HSM!

Feet up tonight.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 26/09/2017 15:53

Apparently ds1s first lecture was long and boring

That bodes well doesn't it!!

oneleftinthenest · 26/09/2017 16:02

What do you think about getting jobs while at uni once they settle, my daughter is 18 and my husband is worried as she's never had a job ( apart from a little online job data input for family) she will be coming home Christmas and Easter holidays .

ErrolTheDragon · 26/09/2017 16:11

Thats got to depend on the course, I'd have thought, oneleft. I can't see mine having time for paid employment in term, easter she'll presumably need a lot of revision time. She will definitely have to do placements in the summers though, its a course requirement.

RedHelenB · 26/09/2017 16:18

Abrams- dd just phoned to get insurance details cos she's broken her phone too!

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