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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Uni Freshers parents 2016?

999 replies

granarybeck · 21/08/2016 22:23

hi

I've just been reading recent threads on weekly living costs and what to take to uni and found loads of useful info. I'm certainly finding that there was so much focus on getting the results/not tempting fate that it all feels a bit of a panic now. I have a dd going to warwick and a ds going to bath.

Wondered if there is already a thread for other general tips for those with dd/s starting uni this September?

OP posts:
lovelybangers · 25/09/2016 08:23

Oops.

Hope today goes okay.

hairymairyfromthedairy · 25/09/2016 09:14

Thanks hellsbells just about ready for the off!

hairymairyfromthedairy · 25/09/2016 09:15

And lovelybangers sorry page hadn't updated!

BennyTheBall · 25/09/2016 09:15

We dropped ds off yesterday. 'Dropped off' is an understatement as we were there for about 6 hours.

I held it together but had a good sob when we got home.

He texted me last night and was in a different student flat with a group of people. I'd be worried he'd might be in his room, alone.

I hope this gets easier.

I feel secretly quite irritated with dh and my remaining child! Neither of them are as good company as ds! Blush

NoahVale · 25/09/2016 10:54

I am worried that DD hasnt yet sorted out finances.
She put off payment of her halls until her loan went in, due to go in tomorrow.
she seems a bit clueless as to whether or not she informed the loan company of her bank account, and yet it is due to go in tomorrow.
i dont want to stress her but she doesnt appear to understand what I am getting at....

In the end I did say Student Services would help.

I have had texts and facebook messages but owuld like to hear her voice, but dont want to bombard her

LIZS · 25/09/2016 11:56

Ds loan was in his account yesterday and he paid this term's hall fees while on FaceTime to us! He had expected a text saying to expect the loan but nothing came.

homebythesea · 25/09/2016 12:06

I keep asking DS whether he has had an invoice for the fees yet (we are paying, yes I know Martin Lewis says not to 😉) but apparently not.... I'm assuming they will chase if something has been missed but I'd like to get it done just to be sure!

dotdotdotmustdash · 25/09/2016 12:29

Dd still enjoying life in China, but finding that the Chinese work ethic is hard to keep up with! Mon-Fri 8.30-4pm in College - 3 hrs of Mandarin lessons, then the afternoon learning cultural activities. there's also about about 90mins of homework each night. She's bought a bike and is spending lots of money eating out. One of the original 23 who left nearly 3 weeks ago, has come home already, I guess they just weren't ready for the experience.

raspberryrippleicecream · 25/09/2016 16:07

We still have a week to go, but we are at Leeds Uni today, for NYO Inspire with DS2. DS1 came with us to visit his friend, who started here last week.

We've just popped into the local Morrison's and it was packed with students, some with trolleys full of bedding and essentials. I had a bit of a moment, it really struck home it's happening.

SallyuptheSwanee · 25/09/2016 16:32

It's only been a week - but what a week. DD2 (not sure of the form here I have a DS1 not 2 daughters) arrived at Uni last weekend. I didn't think I'd have Empty Nest Syndrome, so DH took her, I'd done all the essential shopping and advice on what to take of course! A few texts….until Wednesday. When I get the " I'm feeling weird, my flatmates don't speak, don't want to go out" text and I insist we talk. By Friday it was this isn't the place for me can I transfer to another university (her second choice) where she has a number of friends BUT none on the same campus (its one of those Unis with 4 different campuses spread around the city, one of her best friends is on the opposite side of the city an hour by bus). I rang that uni no there admissions are closed this year - well that takes the pressure off moving university instantly. She is enquiring how to transfer next year either directly into year 2 or starting again. I can't believe that with an intake of 3000, there won't be someone she can click with. I most of all feel guilty that I encouraged her in her choice and was quite damning of the 2nd. She'd done A levels the year before so she did indeed have a choice of 5 unis. The feelings I have about the 2nd Uni still hold I think she'd be isolated it's a 30 min bus journey into town for all the nightlife and shops (which is very similar in vibe to her home town not like the boring place she is in now ) but if she was joining as a 2nd year or as a 1st who could live in the city with her old school friends it would be ok. Except one of the things about leaving home is meeting new people rather than falling back into your comfort zone of old friends. In the mean time I don't think she is applying herself to joining clubs etc and contacting others on the course by Facebook. She is stoic and level headed, has requested to meet her personal tutor, tells me not to worry she can handle it BUT I do worry she's not happy!

EllenJanethickerknickers · 25/09/2016 16:32

Flowers to all with empty nests or missing their DC.

Still got a week to go here, but my DSs have been with their father this weekend so it's been his last weekend there. I think I'll be fine for a while as I'm used to them staying away and I do still have the other two at home.

I just finished the book 'A Man called Ove' this morning and it's a bit of a tearjerker. Cried a bit and couldn't work out if it was the book or DS1 going that was making me cry. DS1 has been my rock (as well as often a stroppy teen) ever since exH left 5 years ago, so it'll be hard to see him moving on to this next stage of his life. Trying very hard to be excited for him rather than sorry for myself.

Squirrills · 25/09/2016 17:07

A week is not long to give it Sally, perhaps she will change her mind once lectures start. Freshers seems to be a long lonely week for some.
I hadn't heard of that book Ellen but it looks just my thing. Not sure I can cope with a tear jerker though.
I have had a brief text from DS and he seems to be getting on ok with flat mates.

Coconutty · 25/09/2016 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

InformalRoman · 25/09/2016 17:09

OhFuds DS is doing all of his shopping at Lidl too - cheaper than Tesco Express though.

hellsbells99 · 25/09/2016 18:02

Sally - hopefully she will settle in better when her course starts. Is changing accommodation an option? DD1 is in the same city but different uni to one of her best friends but they have consciously not made arrangements to meet during the first couple of weeks (although have bumped into each other). DD has restarted at a new uni this year and is trying to make sure she joins in as much as possible this year including joining lots of clubs.
Just keep messaging her etc and trying to cheer her up. Could you make arrangements to meet her one evening or next weekend?

SallyuptheSwanee · 25/09/2016 18:30

Thanks Squirrills, Coconutty and hellbells99, yes once lectures and tutorials start next week she will meet people who are more likely to be compatible as they will have the same academic interest at least. I don't think there is anything wrong about the people she's sharing with …they are probably thinking just the same about her. I think it's just come as a shock to me, she had a gap year worked and funded a 3 month trip to the other side of the world (with a friend!) I thought she'd take this in her stride.

choccybiscuit · 25/09/2016 19:18

My dd has had a rocky start with illness as soon as she started and has since started to settle in and made friends but she still gets tearful when she calls me as she's a bit homesick. It's so hard for them. She starts her lessons tomorrow so hoping this will give her a routine which will help. Hopefully they'll all settle in soon.

BennyTheBall · 25/09/2016 19:27

DS went yesterday and has just phoned me (only cos dh sent him a voicemail saying 'please call mum' Hmm).

I think the socialising is going to completely wear him out. Last night he was out until 3, tonight there's another 'theme' party to go to. I think there is something every night all week. He is not used to either drinking or staying out late! All he has eaten today is a bagel. This is someone who really loves food!

Let's hope in a couple of weeks we're all feeling much happier.

Ta1kinpeece · 25/09/2016 20:06

Daughter settled in.
I earned odd brownie points by offering to take most of her flat to the supermarket with us (tins and bulky stuff are a PITA without a massive car)
so Ieft her unpacking shopping and chatting
and did not have to listen to radio 1 on the way home

I saw kids and parents in floods of tears
and felt really sorry for the lass who'd forgotten her ID so had to wait till Mum drove two hours in the shittiest mood imaginable with it

I helped DD unpack - so I could bring cases home
and left her too busy to think about me
success

33 years ago my mum did the same for me

GRW · 25/09/2016 21:14

My DD has been at uni for two weeks, and hasn't wanted to speak on the the phone much, as she says she's busy with her flat mates. I am OK with that and glad she's enjoying it. She is a couple of hours away so I'm planning to visit in a couple of weeks, and bring a few things from home that she wants. Good luck to everyone's DC starting this week.

Coconutty · 25/09/2016 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rockingthelook · 25/09/2016 21:40

Dropped off DD at Bath Spa today, really well organised there, lots of student buddies to help unload the car. Other students in her halls seem ok, but she told me tonight that a couple of girls are a bit'loud and gobby'... Hopefully she will settle, it was a 4 1/2 journey home for me, and surprised myself by crying nearly the entire way home :( , found hotels , even in travelodge, premier inn etc really expensive in Bath, and will probably be using the car rather than the train because shops are quite a way from Bath Spa uni to stock up when I am over... Hope she is happy, it's a bit of a wrench for us all

Leeds2 · 25/09/2016 21:41

My DD left on 19 August. I am going to visit her this weekend, and very much looking forward to it!

Hope all DC who left this weekend are finding their feet.

homebythesea · 25/09/2016 21:56

coconutty he is sensible AND sensitive :)

So DS seems to have found a couple of people to chum up with, a bit more difficult in a corridor style hall I think without the automatic company of flat mates IYSWIM. A night in the bar then someone's room last night which to me sounds a good fairly gentle first night- tonight it's the big club night in town. I've told him to keep eating as much as possible to get through this week!

I realised in the middle of the night that he has nothing to put his dirty clothes in and to take them to the laundry room ☺️

homebythesea · 25/09/2016 21:59

Had a bit of a wobble this evening as I set just 3 places at the table for Sunday dinner (the only meal we all sit down at the table at the same time so pretty sacrosanct in this house)

The upside is there are actually some leftovers from the chicken 😀

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