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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

Uni Freshers parents 2016?

999 replies

granarybeck · 21/08/2016 22:23

I've just been reading recent threads on weekly living costs and what to take to uni and found loads of useful info. I'm certainly finding that there was so much focus on getting the results/not tempting fate that it all feels a bit of a panic now. I have a dd going to warwick and a ds going to bath.

Wondered if there is already a thread for other general tips for those with dd/s starting uni this September?

OP posts:

Squirrills · 10/10/2016 14:33

Has he had the ACWY jab Dotty? In view of the rash I think he did the right thing seeing someone.
It's so hard from a distance isn't it, if they were at home you could judge how ill they were. DS was pretty poorly last week. He had the worst sore throat he's ever had and a high temperature. Managed to go to lectures but sweated and shivered through them. He didn't go to a doctor though because he was pretty sure it was just viral and lots of other students were ill.

CaptainBlackadder · 10/10/2016 14:40

Hi, delurking as I'm really worried about my DS. He's on his third week of lectures and is struggling, both with making friends and with the course. Apparently lectures are several different subjects combined, with 300+ students, so he hasn't met any of the others on his course yet. His flat mates are nice but are out a lot and go home at weekends, so he's pretty much spending all his time alone in his room. He has anxiety and finds new situations difficult anyway, so this has been extra hard for him. He said he's not confident enough to join a society, so I'm at a loss as to how he can meet any new friends. This morning I heard through his boyfriend that DS is struggling with his work and is falling behind already. He hasn't mentioned being behind or that he's finding the course difficult to either me or DH, I'm so worried about him and don't know what to do.

OddMollie · 10/10/2016 14:44

My daughter is home at the moment (only two weeks after we dropped her off) and very ill, to the point we were on the verge of taking her to A&E on Saturday night. She'd felt low all last week and put it down to Freshers flu, but her throat was really sore on thursday night so she grabbed the chance of a lift home with a boy in her flat who was heading home our way. Thank goodness she did come, as she got much worse. I got her in with the doctor here who diagnosed severe tonsillitis, or possibly quinsy, and gave her antibiotics. Fortunately they're beginning to work, and she has a free day on Monday anyway, but I'm kind of reluctant to send her back tonight for a full day of lectures/seminars tomorrow when she's only just starting to get better - don't want her to have a relapse by getting back to normal too soon - but it's pretty awful to not show up so early on in the year! She's really torn about what to do.

There seems to be such a lot of horrible illnesses doing the rounds at the moment. My elder dd started at uni 3 years ago and I don't remember anything like this scale of illness. Sympathy going out to everyone in the same boat - it's hard to know whether jumping in to look after them is needless mollycoddling or a sensible precaution at this stage...

OddMollie · 10/10/2016 14:48

Captain Blackadder, are there any FB groups or anything for his course that he could join, and connect with people there? If he's struggling with the work he could always post something lighthearted to that effect and ask if anyone else is feeling similarly and see if he gets any response? Or, seek out a tutor and flag up his concerns. I'm pretty sure they'd rather he did that than suffer in silence.

So sorry to hear that he's not happy. It can be such a difficult, lonely time.

OhFuds · 10/10/2016 15:03

I had a nice day at DD uni yesterday, she's still very lonely and everyone else in her shared kitchen apart from a french girl was away home for the weekend. They have been having alot of parties in the kitchen as the bin was overflowing with wine bottles! I had a quick nosey in there cupboards and the girls are all living off the same crap...coco pop's, pasta and a range of sauces.

She's still hating sitting in a lecture hall with hundreds of others but is enjoying other parts of her course (sports science and Gaelic) and is now happy DH has got her printer working in her room as it saves her going to the library every week.

I was reading back my old posts and had a laugh at this.....oh how wrong was I that she was loving uni life.

Teenagedream · 10/10/2016 15:18

Captain Blsckadder my DS is in a similar position. Huge lectures with little chance of talking to anyone properly. Flat is ok but not much fun. He has joined a few socs but doesn't seem to have lead to anything yet. Luckily course is ok at the moment. I've tried to get him to join Quiz Soc which I thought would be drinks but also opportunity to talk hopefully. He likes going out but not particularly to clubs. Weekends are the worse as nothing going on and the flat is quiet.

Coconutty · 10/10/2016 18:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LIZS · 10/10/2016 18:16

Another cake out of the oven for dh to drop off with suit tomorrow. Sorry to hear some dc are under the weather and hope they recover soon.

CaptainBlackadder · 10/10/2016 18:54

Thanks for the replies/suggestions for DS 😊 I think the best thing for him is to speak to his tutor but as I'm not supposed to actually know what's going on with him I'll have to work out how to bring it up without him flying off the handle! He's also recovering from severe tonsillitis needing antibiotics after becoming ill at the end of freshers week so that hasn't helped things.

Original poster

granarybeck · 10/10/2016 20:30

Sorry my post about it being sad was about squirrels post about the poor boy in York, not anyone else's child. I posted it earlier but think it got delayed!

OP posts:

Peebles1 · 10/10/2016 20:42

Another one here with a DD with the dreaded sore throat etc. Home last weekend when she was really ill, luckily. She's over the worst now, and said all her flat mates had it.

Sympathies captain - both my DS were rather lonely and down in their first year. They just slowly made friends - just one friend makes a difference - and things improved. DD has anxiety (much improved now) - just thinking your DS could always go to Student Support to talk, they must see this all the time. Maybe if you have a long face time/Skype session he'll open up to you a bit, then you could suggest it?

dottygamekeeper · 10/10/2016 21:02

At my DS's university, Student Support are running a 4 week course for Freshers called Be Me Stress Less covering things like anxiety, low self confidence, poor sleep patterns etc. I don't know if something like this is running at other Unis which might be of some help for those feeling less than confident about dealing with uni life - if nothing else they might meet someone else in a similar position to themselves to talk to.

(I found out about it by looking on the Students Union website, when checking what health care support they offer and thought if necessary I would subtly suggest to DS that he check the website/visit Student Support to see what sort of things they offer. At the moment, apart from feeling ill, he seems to be making friends and managing the work - though worried he has missed lectures today as nurse suggested he stay in bed - but I am all too aware that after the initial 'honey moon period, things may start to get tough)

Leeds2 · 10/10/2016 21:07

So sorry to hear of so many freshers being ill.

If it is of any consolation to anyone, my DD was hospitalised for one night during freshers (in US, luckily I was still there!) but has recovered fully and is now having the time of her life.

EllenJanethickerknickers · 10/10/2016 22:20

It's DS1's birthday today. I've messaged him a few times today, but he's had a really heavy schedule of lectures. I feel like I'm pestering him but I just want to know whether he's having a good birthday and if he liked his presents. Ungrateful child young adult apparently started looking through his emergency box full of tat useful and jokey things and 'got bored because lectures!' Oh well, I think he liked the bottle of JD. And hopefully the Chewbacca onesie was a hit.

I have resolved to stop messaging him until the weekend.

I wish he enthused a bit more, but that's never been in his personality. Sigh.

jaxxyj · 11/10/2016 00:05

Just texting my DD tonight
DD -I've got a really sore throat.
Me - well take paracetamol, gargle salt water and if it doesn't get any better go to the docs as on mumsnet lots of DC have had severe tonsillitis
DD - er mam I've had my tonsils out!!!

Me - Oops sorry, getting carried away with mumsnet advice again!
seriously, sorry to hear that some DC are ill, you do want to just jump in there and make sure they are OK!

Coconutty · 11/10/2016 07:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lovelybangers · 11/10/2016 07:19

Oops jaxxy!! :)

Manages to speak to DS yesterday.

He has the sore throat. Also has tonsils, which he used to suffer with a lot when younger.

I just told him to drink lots of water, get some sleep and if he thinks it's turning into tonsillitis to get to the health centre

It's so hard not being able to 'mother' him.

NapoleonsNose · 11/10/2016 07:42

Sorry to hear about at the DC being ill. Fingers crossed DD hasn't come down with anything yet. She's been gone nearly four weeks now and is home in three and I can't wait to see her. We're in the midddle of decorating her room as a surprise, so I'm hoping she likes it.

She seems to be taking uni in her stride although she says she's not enjoying one of her core modules - medieval history, as she's more of a modernist. Books have been difficult to get hold of in the library as they only seem to have a couple of copies of the required reading books. She's reluctant to spend £35+ on a book she might use only once. Even secondhand they are not much cheaper.

hellsbells99 · 11/10/2016 13:02

That made me chuckle Jaxxy!
DD2 seems ok but a bit of a cough. She is coming home for the night on Saturday to go out for a friend's birthday and I think she is visiting DD1 on Friday en-route.
DD1 is not well with this bug that is going around all our students. Eye problems are making her dizzy and sick as well. I have offered for DH to go and pick her up just for the night.

hellsbells99 · 11/10/2016 13:03

Not Eye problems .....ear problems!!!

clam · 11/10/2016 23:33

Yep, another one here with an ill dd.
One of her flatmates has been out and bought her lemsip and lozenges and soup. She's made an appointment to see a dr tomorrow.

Glad she had the meningitis jab. One less thing to worry about.

raspberryrippleicecream · 12/10/2016 00:10

Sorry to all the ill DC. DS took a cold with him to uni so unfortunately probably contributed to the germ spread at his!

He is enjoying the start of lectures this week and using his brain again. Tonight he took his trombone to play in the uni wind band and had a great time, so I think that's his social life sorted.

sluj · 12/10/2016 07:58

That's funny Raspberry my DS took his French horn to join the Big Band. I wonder if a disproportionate amount of med students play instruments being the archetypal "all rounders"?

raspberryrippleicecream · 12/10/2016 08:10

DS is Physics, and said there was a fair few Physicists at band.

LIZS · 12/10/2016 08:13

Been trying to persuade Ds to find the brass band but no luck so far!

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