Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Uni Freshers parents 2016?

999 replies

granarybeck · 21/08/2016 22:23

hi

I've just been reading recent threads on weekly living costs and what to take to uni and found loads of useful info. I'm certainly finding that there was so much focus on getting the results/not tempting fate that it all feels a bit of a panic now. I have a dd going to warwick and a ds going to bath.

Wondered if there is already a thread for other general tips for those with dd/s starting uni this September?

OP posts:
homebythesea · 23/09/2016 23:16

Well D day for us is tomorrow and DS is so anxious he has made himself ill- I think he's almost having a prolonged low level panic attack: fluctuating temperature, pins and needles, headache. He doesn't like being out of his comfort zone at the best of times but I've never seen him at this level of worry before :(

Tomorrow's going to be a loooong day (in more ways than one)

GasLightShining · 24/09/2016 00:38

home hope it all goes well for tomorrow.

I know he is younger (by a long way than me) but I don't half suffer with the anxiety of dealing with situations and every time the worry is way worse than the actual situation. Trips to London are horrendous yet I am confident in getting to London and finding my way round on the tube so no logic.

He is worrying but once he gets there and is settled in you will be saying what was the problem.

placeofworkshop · 24/09/2016 02:10

Homebythesea hope he is ok - i lost the thread above, sorry - is he very far away from you, or visitable?

placeofworkshop · 24/09/2016 02:25

Good luck to everyone doing the uni trip tomorrow. Have to say it's been a long week for us . A week is such a short time, but Dd has already coped with a lot and met challenges on an hourly basis. countless new people, new places, cooking, shopping , washing in a laundrette , got lost several times, learnt how to use an alarm clock Grin, dealt with drunk people, annoying people, , scary people (including class A drig users Angry)met some lovely people,comforted others as homesick as herself, & managed her roller coaster of emotions .. And all with not much sleep , too much alcohol, and not eating properly. Very proud of all she's achieved in one exhausting week.

placeofworkshop · 24/09/2016 02:27

Drug users that is not drigs Hmmoops

hellsbells99 · 24/09/2016 02:41

Homebythesea - good luck tomorrow. I am sure your DS will be fine. It is a big move but the majority cope. DD2 was ready to come home after 2 days but seems a lot better now. Encourage him to join in as much as possible and join some societies. We have emphasised to DD that she must eat (as often forgets or feels sick) and she must not stay in her room - even if she sits in the living area playing on her iPad, and also to get out and walk everyday. I think things get easier when lectures start and they are in a routine. She has been socialising though and has made friends - and drunk too much and not slept enough!
Good luck to all those going this weekend.

Phaedra11 · 24/09/2016 06:54

Good luck to home and all those with DC starting today.

It really has been the longest week (DH were just saying we couldn't believe it was only a week ) but like place I am so proud of what DS has achieved.

It's a huge step for them but once they get in there I think it becomes exciting more than scary!

thepurplehen · 24/09/2016 07:15

Good luck to everyone going to uni today. Ds has suddenly realised yesterday that it's all very real and scary. I suspect he will v quiet in the car on the journey there.

I'm going to try my hardest to not cry in front of him! Suspect I will be a wreck on the way home.

homebythesea · 24/09/2016 07:18

Thanks for the kind words everyone

He will be around 2 hours away (in fact that was one of his selection criteria!) so eminently visitable if need be.

I know (and so does he) that it will be fine. He has never done well with unpredictable- he's always been the kid who wants to know exactly what's happening every day, not into "going with the flow". But I think he's been really sensible about preparing for this week to come. For example he and a girl he knows from school who is in the same Hall (not close friend, more a classmate ITSWIM) have arranged to go to the welcome dinner together so they don't have to walk in alone, he instigated his course group chat and through that a get together has been planned for later in the week and he has signed up for a couple of the "big" Freshers nights (but not all).

I know he will be fine and actually having his closest friends already go through Freshers elsewhere has been a good education for him- he has forewarning of the pitfalls!!

Coconutty · 24/09/2016 07:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thepurplehen · 24/09/2016 08:52

I was wondering what everyone is planning regarding visits either to them or from them?

How often are you planning on seeing your uni kids during term time, if at all?

kath6144 · 24/09/2016 08:53

Another one here saying it has been a long week (is it really just a week?) since dropping DS off.

I seemed to cope well to start with, DH found first few days harder, but I am finding it harder as the days go by, ironically because he has settled in so well!!

Seems like he almost doesn't need us any more (which I know isn't true, we had lots of contact when he went to hospital yesterday). We asked if he was available for Facetime yesterday t-time, he 'called' straight away but was at his friends' flat!

This meant we had to be careful not to say too much, but as DH said, at least he felt comfortable talking to us in front of them!

I know I should just be relieved that he seems to have settled well and made friends, he is not shy but is definitely not a party animal either, though he seems to have been out every night.

I will be glad for the lectures to start!

Good luck to all today, esp the parents!!

Original poster
granarybeck · 24/09/2016 08:55

Good luck Home. We've just set off to bath with a very full car!

OP posts:
LIZS · 24/09/2016 09:01

Good luck to today's arrivals. Last Saturday the m25 had every other car laden with student paraphernalia! Ds has an orthodontist appointment early November which coincides with reading week, so anticipate he'll return then although it seems they are expected to remain on site that week.

hellsbells99 · 24/09/2016 09:02

Purplehen - I think we will end up seeing DD2 every 2 to 3 weeks. She still has a boyfriend at home so she will be planning to meet him every couple of weeks at either uni or home, and we will drive over and have lunch with her occasionally on a Sunday (approx 2 hours away). DD1 is closer to home and I am meeting her for lunch next Saturday I think - as I am meeting my sister in the same City so DD1 is joining us. I am leaving it up to them but said we are happy to visit. I know that the DDs will plan to visit home on the same weekends as they are very close and missing each other.

kath6144 · 24/09/2016 09:08

Purple - I think it will be a 'play it by ear' scenario - let them lead it, depending on how well they settle.

We have booked to take caravan to a coastal area 45mins away in a fortnight. It was picked as closest coast place to home, but is also just across the river from DS uni city, so we will no doubt see him but will let him lead on when. Will partially depend on whether we need to drive to halls with any extra stuff for him, or whether he just comes across to meet us eg Sunday lunch.

I heard that one of his school friends, who is quite shy, is coming home this weekend, I know its hard but I think I would have encouraged her to stay the first full weekend!

We have a regular weekend break at Oct half term with a group of friends to an activity resort. When we were booking this year, I assumed that both DS and the other girl his age wouldnt be going, but the other girl is, despite just starting uni. Each to his own. Given that DS has a v full timetable, it would have been difficult logistically anyway, but I also think he is right to prioritise uni life in early weeks over meeting our friends.

RockyRoadster · 24/09/2016 09:27

Setting off for Aberystwyth soon, sticking on a happy face 😀😬☹️

jaxxyj · 24/09/2016 09:37

DSand DD birthday beginning of October, that will be weird not seeing them! Going up to Edinburgh to see DD just for the day, the day after but won't see DS until beg November when I have a work meeting in London. They are both looking for part time work so I'm not even sure if they will come straight home at the end of term. DD been away two weeks we have texted called and Facetimed, she is settling in well, although feels she hasn't found her 'crew' yet. Has stuff planned for the weekend though, so I'm hoping it's still early days. DS has been in touch less frequently, he has had a lot of introductory lectures i the first week so been busy. Spoke to him on Thursday night and he is loving it! Not really fussed about his flat mates, he says it is really great that they are mostly international students but they are all a bit laddy but he is mixing with others in his hall and course.
Good luck all those who are moving today! Try not to end up going to A&E ( DP managed 10 stitches after cutting finger badly on a new kitchen knife)! And make sure your car has oil and water ( we broke down on way back) hoping I had all the calamities for you!

SueDunome · 24/09/2016 11:14

Car packed, ds and dh leaving at noon, I'm catching a train to Southampton with dd as there's no room in the car for us. Good luck everyone.

Northernlurker · 24/09/2016 11:26

Found luck everyone. It feels like years since we dropped dd off. It was three weeks ago!
Today feels better than last weekend and that was better than the weekend before. We're getting there.

Northernlurker · 24/09/2016 11:27

What the heck is found luck!!!

GOOD luck!

EllenJanethickerknickers · 24/09/2016 11:36

Good luck to this weekend's new starters. Still got a week to go, here. It'll be DS1's birthday within a week of starting, so I'm trying to get an 'emergency' pack together as a jokey birthday present. I've paid for his freshers' ticket as a present but want him to have something to unwrap.

Any suggestions? So far I'm doing a pair of clean pants and socks, pack of 3 condoms, paracetamol, packet of instant porridge, packet of super noodles, chocolate. Maybe a tenner in a cheap picture frame and a toffee hammer?

I'm off shopping now but will catch up later.

dottygamekeeper · 24/09/2016 11:52

Just about to pack the car ready to start the journey up to the IL's, to drop off dogs whilst we head to York tomorrow (I left it too late to book kennels, so they are having to squeeze into the car with us!). I keep having the odd tearful moment - last night, our final supper at home, she had asked me to cook her favourite dinner (lasagne), and that was her brother's favourite too, so it felt very strange to be eating it without him.

DS has now been away for just over 2 weeks, seems to be loving it all, and has been baking cakes for his flatmates and last night cooked them all a spag bol. He has also amazed us all by playing Ultimate frisbee, going kayaking and playing badminton - at home he was the least sporty person ever. He seems to be signing up for every society going on a taster basis, to work out which groups he thinks he would fit in with best, including the Bee Society - apparently in the hope of free honey, but as we do keep bees and he used to help his dad when he was younger, maybe it is all coming back to him.

It is his 20th birthday next week, and I feel very sad that this is the first birthday ever that I won't see him, but am so relieved that so far he is having a great time (including making good use of the library, apparently, which I was very pleased to hear!)

hellsbells99 · 24/09/2016 15:01

Good luck in York Dotty.
I sent DD1 a text earlier to see how she was and this is her reply:
I'm okay, it's my 8th night out clubbing tonight though, I'm getting very tired now 😴😴

OhFuds · 24/09/2016 15:30

Good luck for this weekend drop offWine

My DD has been away since 3rd September, from the messages I had assumed she was having a great time and was enjoying life......she's came back this weekend as she had a hospital appointment and I've since found out she's not happy. I asked what part she doesn't like, the course or being away from home and she says it's both Sad.

At least the other girls in her corridor are decent and she hangs out with them in the kitchen but apparently they are all jealous of my dd coming home and they wished they were heading home for the weekend too so I guess most are feeling homesick.