New Uni starters 2015 (continued from Preparing for Uni)

[circular]

Thought we needed a new thread to continue from preparation.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/2466997-Preparing-for-Uni-in-2015-continues

Suspect all have arrived by now...

I think its got easier as far as worrying about them less goes, since DD came home to visit. She was contacting much more before she came home, and this seems to have tailed off the last week. Suspect that's a combination of having had the reassurance of everything at home being pretty much as she left, and being busier and more settled at Uni. The drop in contact is making me miss her, which I expect is how others found it in the early stages.

We did have a fair bit of family time when she came home though, possibly due to most friends being away and able to see BF while at Uni. Not expecting to see as much of her over Xmas break, as will want to catch up on other friends that are home, and also has some work shifts planned.

Safe journey Gypsy. Hope your DD's feeling better and manages OK when she gets back.

Hi all, hope you are well - I haven't been on this thread for a little while and see some of you are feeling similar about DC's plans when home.

I inquired last week if DS would be coming home during reading week and the following morning received a lengthy e-mail saying he didn't want to come home and listing all the reasons why - mainly GF breakup and some unpleasant memories, the people (I mentioned before he has never liked living here). He also said that although not everything is perfect he feels he can start to be himself, no negativity and can do as he pleases.

Most of it was fair enough but some of it was quite hurtful and DH and I discussed is all day. That evening when I was out DH responded as he took exception to the line where DS said "what ex-GF doesn't realise is that I would have come home purely for her". So he told DS what he thought and that he should choose his words carefully, while understanding they didn't always get on he should think of me and other DC.

DS responded again saying he had meant what he had written so things have been a little off this week but he has sent me some texts and a couple of e-mails. Then last night he mentioned a cheap train ticket for 18th December with a kind of 'what do you think, should I book it' kind of message.

Of course I have told him to book it but I think he has time to think about his words. My mum keeps reminding me that teenagers can be selfish while working themselves out, I know she is right.

As for accommodation, he pays £120 a week (en-suite and a flat of 4) in Manchester and it is not worth it - it needs re-decorating and all of the halls have had water and electricity problems since the start.

mumslife - I have been struggling to deal with missing dd, too so I understand how you feel. It has hit me much harder than I thought. She is not coming home during term-time (she is only away for 9 weeks) but I saw her for lunch last week and will see her for coffee a couple of times when I visit Cambridge for work before term ends. She is very happy and for that I am thankful as it would be worse if I was missing her and knew that she was unhappy, as well.

I went to UEA campus for work last week and I drove past lots of students wondering if any of them was your dd!

Thanks circular . It's pretty much a straight line from our house but it's a rather boring journey especially twice on one day. I'll be all radio foured out by the time I get home!

We have just come back from a long weekend visiting dd. Took the train as the journey by car would be a bit long.

She is very happy, loves her flatmates / course / teachers and we had a fabulous time visiting all the historic sites. I'm so pleased it has all worked out well. It is such a step into the dark isn't it?

augustrose sorry to hear about the email. They can be so unnecessarily hurtful at times can't they?
I think long winded explanations are often when one is trying to convince yourself.
Sometimes they also seem to need to distance themselves, but then they do come back. Still, it can't have been nice to read.

We visited dd this weekend too. She is also very happy with course and flatmates. She was a little disappointed that I didn't bring her any food though and surprised that I suggested she go shopping instead of offering to take her myself

I don't mind helping her out but so far she has managed to fund everything herself and I think she should continue with this as much as she can. She's started looking for a job but not found anything yet that fits in around her classes. But I don't think she's tried too hard yet. At least she has her job here still and will be able to work over Christmas.

It's good to see her so settled and happy. She's going to come home sometime next week, not sure which days yet.

Sorry not been on for awhile, dd is enjoying uni life. Last week she wasnt well, caught freshers flu but shes feeling much better.

Shes coming home this weekend not seen her for a few weeks.

Update on the santander railcard, she finally got it after much nagging for me lol.

My dd also got Fresher's Flu. Apparently it is Leeds University Fresher's Flu even though she attends a different university. It was bought to their flat by a visitor from Leeds.

Her lecturer said that it sounded like a chorus of hacking coughs and sneezing. People that work in universities must be constantly ill or maybe they are completely immune.

I told her off for not taking her multi vitamins lol, she said she took them when she had the flu.

DD just sent a pic of their Asda food shop. 2 flats got together and it cost £1 for delivery. The main things that stood out were 12 jars of chocolate spread

Lol at 12 jars of chocolate spread!!! I dread to think what DS is eating!

Hmmm dd had nutella on her shopping list this week too. Interesting...

I wonder what they are planning?

DS rang me today for a chat as he was walking back from his meeting with his mentor. The mentor is funded through DSA to help DS with his organisational and study skills. He said that todays meeting was only short instead of the planned hour as the mentor had forgotten the notes she was supposed to bring for the session and they didn't have anything else to discuss. DS found this amusing!

He tells me they've got 'lab' week next week (like reading week presumably only for science based subjects). It basically means they have no lectures but he needs to be there to do work in the lab but he's not sure how many sessions yet - not that he'd be coming home anyway.

bigbluebus that is kind of funny that the mentor was disorganised!!!

The mentor needs a mentor

Fairenuff It did cross my mind they may not be eating it either.
Guess Nutella or choc spread cheaper than this

It is quite funny really but at £65 per hour you'd expect a bit more organisation! (not saying the mentor gets paid that but the Uni do to supply the mentor). DS's attitude was "well I'm not paying - Dave is"

Bit of a dilemma
DD has admitted disliking and struggling with a module that I advised her not to take., but is making he best of it and hopefully won't fail it completely.
I can see her struggling for similar reasons with another optional module she has chosen for next Semester.

Not sure whether to try and persuade her to change the second one, or at least discuss with tutor?
Or just butt out as she's an adult now, and didn't take notice io me when she initially chose. And left it too late choosing to get the module she really wanted

circular I was thinking more along the lines of Hallowe'en trick/treats but you've obviously got a filthy mind

I would probably suggest talking to tutor about her options.

I would gently suggest she rethinks the next module circular or at least talk it over with her tutor. Is she aware that she could possibly change options? I stuck with a whole half of my degree that I shouldn't have (it was a combined degree - half in the history dept and half in the economics dept) and I had no idea that I could have changed to a straightforward history degree. I was allegedly an adult but I do wish someone had given me a gentle nudge in the right direction.

OMG, I completely missed the possible alternative use of chocolate spread!!!
Blimey!