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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Right. Now we all know that all mumsnet children have been working down the mine since they were 6....

192 replies

Hakluyt · 19/08/2014 07:34

... and wouldn't expect their parents to contribute a penny towards their living expenses from the stroke of midnight on their 18th birthday.

But here in the real world, there are 18 year olds going off to university with very little or no savings. And with loans that barely cover their accommodation. And who will probably not be able to find a well paid job within a week of arriving in a new town and living away from home for the first time.
For those of us with pathetic, dependent, useless teenagers like this- what is a reasonable amount of money to give them to cover sensible expenses and have a bit over for fun?

OP posts:
secretsquirrels · 28/08/2014 09:23

Isthiscorrect That is staggering. I don't remember where your DS is going but not even in London.As you say. those who can afford it will just have to grin and bear it but truly, what happens to those who can't? I really feel for the unknown Welsh boy, but perhaps he didn't make that his choice after all?

All the bursaries and grants available still wouldn't pay for that and not every student manages to get a job. The little bit I watched of "Secret Life of Students" showed the stress and anxiety of those students who did not have financial support from parents.
We feel comfortably off and yet clearly we are not as well off as many because DS gets a lot more loan than others on this thread. Even so we will be subsidising him by several thousand a year.

Isthiscorrect · 28/08/2014 10:20

He is in Central London and yes I really hope that years 2 and 3 will be cheaper.then there is just the years internship to pay for and probably another year studying. Gulp.

Reredos · 02/09/2014 08:05

Just a word of warning for those planning to help with accomodation costs. The fees for halls are usually paid in three installments which can be a huge amount to pay up front. We have to find nearly 2K by 21st September which is the day ds2 moves in. I doubt that his student loan will even have been paid in by then.

Needmoresleep · 02/09/2014 08:22

Secret and Isthis, we have also been shocked. DS will get his own room but share a bathroom with eleven others. £7,700 a year.

We too had thought that once school fees were over, things would be a little easier. However the total cost will be more than normal London private day school fees, and quite a gap to make up if you are taking out a full loan.

DS did not meet any Welsh boys. Instead the first three boys he met at the offers day had all been to big name public schools. Something he might have expected at Oxbridge but not London.

secretsquirrels · 02/09/2014 10:43

Needmoresleep
Sharing a bathroom with eleven others Shock

Cambridge is probably the cheapest university to live ironically. When DS has been there over the last year or two he has met others from a wide variety of backgrounds, to his surprise. Unlike Durham where he felt was the only one not from a privileged background.
I think you mentioned on another thread that economic self-selection is alive and kicking. This is so true. None of the DC that DS knows even applied to a London Uni because of the cost of living there. One friend who missed both offers took a place in London (perhaps a little naively) through clearing. The accommodation is £7500 and not even in halls, they were even more.

No sign of room allocation at Warwick yet so we still can't plan in detail but we do know they want the rent before the first loan instalment.
He has also had a lot of stuff through about freshers and societies. I know see why others have warned that those first few weeks are expensive.

Littleham · 02/09/2014 11:57

Awaiting allocation to hall of residence for dd1.

Can confirm that nobody from my dc's large comprehensive applied to London, as it is perceived (rightly) as too expensive. The handful that apply to Oxford / Cambridge have to be persuaded to do so by teachers.

alreadytaken · 02/09/2014 13:10

went through finances with mine yesterday and they worked out they had spent less in total in a year at Cambridge than a friend in London had spent on self-catering accommodation. I suspect they excluded some one off costs from that (gown, college and sports team clothing, union fee, bike) but Cambridge is certainly not an expensive university. For those from low income families Oxford is probably cheaper as they have more generous bursaries.

morethan · 02/09/2014 15:06

Piggin Nora! What are your kids spending money on!!!!! My son at Central London Uni pays his rent from loan and I pay his phone bill. I've twice covered a big cost like deposit which he paid back when he got his loan through. He worked in the summers. Very occasionally I had a tesco shop delivered with lots of basics. I would die for £50 pw spending money. When are those who are bankrolling planning on stopping????

secretsquirrels · 02/09/2014 15:25

Read the OP morethan This is a thread for those who can and do choose to fund their DC through uni. It's different if you haven't got the money yourself to help them out.
At the risk of repeating myself.....Why on earth would I want money in my bank knowing that my DC was worrying about every penny?
I agree they need to learn how to live on a budget and I am confident that DS will have money left over because he is tight
Having said that I want to measure the amount he gets so that he can afford to do the things he wants and not have to work so many hours it affects his studies.

Littleham · 02/09/2014 16:37

I'm finding it a lovely way to release all the tension of the application process and exam results to do some shopping for dd1 to start university.

The annoying thing is that she hates shopping!!!

secretsquirrels · 02/09/2014 16:59

Littleham same here. DS has not the slightest interest in "things" whether that be clothing, bedding, gadgets or anything else, so no joint shopping trips for us.

Littleham · 02/09/2014 17:07

I'm relying on dd2 (hopefully going next year) as she loves shopping. Smile My thirteen year old son doesn't like shopping either (although he does like gadgets) - more typical for boys.

boxofshells · 02/09/2014 18:05

When I was at uni my parents gave me £700 a term and my accomodation costs. I paid for books out of that which as I did eng lit was a lot of books. And I paid travel back home at end of each term from that too. . In first term I spent about £400 of that in first fortnight. Would love to say I had learnt my lesson from that...

I also had a job and used that to save to travel in holidays.

But this was 17 years ago and my rent was £40 a week.

I was one of the better off students.

Now I work at a uni. Every single student has a term time job. But those who work more than a couple of shifts a week def see their work suffer.

Pammie70 · 02/09/2014 19:12

DD will be starting London Uni in a couple of weeks. Perhaps over confidently I have been saving Tesco Clubcard and Nectar points for the last couple of years and have managed to supply towels, bedding pans etc by spending these since January when things have been reduced or on sale. Also managed to put by a supply of toiletries so she has a starter. My lovely Mum gave me £150 this week to buy these things so am going to take DD for a big shop when we get there and if there is anything left over will put it on a supermarket giftcard for her. Other than that have bought her a student rail card (good old Clubcard points again), Student Oyster card (£10 and gives 30% off travel). I pay her phone contract of £13.99 per month and will be giving her £100 per month. Unfortunately I am in a low paid job and this is all I can afford. ExH claims he will match this but as he hasn't given me a penny towards either child in the last three years I don't think she will be relying on it . DD asked everyone for money for her 18th and has bought herself a laptop. Also check for local charities - in Coventry anyone under 25 who lives within the city boundary can apply each year for books and equipment regardless of income.

alreadytaken · 02/09/2014 21:49

the thread is about parents who can afford to do financially supporting their children either because they don't wish their children to work in term time or because they can't find jobs. My child is officially banned from working in term time and expected to study for part of the holidays. They work when they can to fund part of their social life, we fund them for essentials and some relaxation.

I want my child to be able to enjoy themself at university but they are expected to contribute to that. We aren't going to let them run up massive debts. They know they are privileged.

Keletubbie · 02/09/2014 22:32

I think some of the parents who claim that they don't want their kids working during term time so they can get a full uni experience are being a bit previous.

Unless you'd like them to fully experience days of sleep after spending quality time in a Jaeger-coma...

(Worked all through uni, had a fab time, got a first)

Littleham · 02/09/2014 22:48

Each family does the best they can & juggle their own particular circumstances. What suits one person will not suit another.

Well done for getting a first and enjoying university Keletubbie.

Keletubbie · 02/09/2014 23:12

Precious, not previous!

I'm still not as clever as auto correct sadly.

Mindgone · 03/09/2014 00:04

Surely, whether they are expected to get a term time job or not, depends on how demanding their course is, and how many hours a week it involves? I would have thought there's a big difference between a course that's a few hours a week, and one that's pretty much full time?

Littleham · 03/09/2014 07:53

Quite Mindgone. I agree with you, but sadly there are some really judgemental people out there.

BeckAndCall · 03/09/2014 08:07

I've just gone thru DDs budget with her - shes my third through uni so we have some game on this. it looks like her accomm is more expensive at Cambridge than her brother and sisters elsewhere, which surprised me. But we pay accomm so that won't affect her (using the approach we have)

She is likewise in the camp where she really can't work during term time - she has a timetable running 9 til 5 (science = labs) and also has Saturday mornings...... On that basis shes already doing a 40 hour week and it seems a little harsh to insist she works on top of that to support herself... Vacations are a different matter, of course

Needmoresleep · 03/09/2014 09:19

In terms of work, doesn't it in part depend on what work they do.

I am encouraging both mine to gain coaching qualifications in their preferred sports. If they then use them this would give them time away from their studies in a constructive way.

Popular student work in Central London is signing up as freelance waiters. The peak is around Christmas so well away from finals and you get to go to all sorts of amazing venues and parties.

Another option seems to be tutoring with one of the big agencies. We need to look into it further, but top A level grades in maths or science should mean you are sought after. Again something that seems to appeal.

I would not be happy though if paid work were impacting on studies. DC have had to work very hard to get there and they really need to make the most of the opportunity.

My understanding is that students study far harder than they did in my day.

Rox19 · 03/09/2014 09:39

My parents gave us £800 PCM and paid the rent. Tbh you would have a poor lifestyle on less than £200 p week for bills, food, phone etc. Student nights out are £30 a piece and you need constant text books and dressing up costumes etc.

We all left uni with no debt. I also worked thought earning £120 p week plus worked full time all holidays and had about £3k at the start of each uni year/ about £800 at Xmas.

Rox19 · 03/09/2014 09:40

This was 10tr ago at redbrick uni and every person I met there received similar amounts and nobody scrimped at all. I think poorer people would have felt quite an outsider in hindsight.

pinkrose123 · 03/09/2014 10:24

My DS is hoping to manage on £300 a month for going out, clothes, etc., this will be roughly what is left after his rent/bills are paid and we are paying for his phone, food, books, train fares home, etc. I think we have bought practically everything he needs to take with him. He plans to get some part time work timetable permitting and will hopefully be able to do some holiday work in the store he has been working in part time for the last 3 years. I am hoping £300 will be enough but am not sure? He has a good amount of clothes already and is not a great clothes shopper so I guess it will mainly be spent on going out.