Right. Now we all know that all mumsnet children have been working down the mine since they were 6....

[Hakluyt]

... and wouldn't expect their parents to contribute a penny towards their living expenses from the stroke of midnight on their 18th birthday.

But here in the real world, there are 18 year olds going off to university with very little or no savings. And with loans that barely cover their accommodation. And who will probably not be able to find a well paid job within a week of arriving in a new town and living away from home for the first time.
For those of us with pathetic, dependent, useless teenagers like this- what is a reasonable amount of money to give them to cover sensible expenses and have a bit over for fun?

[chocoluvva]

DD's (Unite - nationwide private student accommodation providers -) self-catering flat costs £4,100 per year - 44 weeks. The uni flats are slightly more expensive and not as nice.

From what I've heard, most student flats/self-catering halls seem to comprise 4-10 ensuite rooms with a shared kitchen/living-area in blocks of flats. Often there is no bedding or crockery/kitchen-ware provided. DD's has a dishwasher and a 1.5 size bed . Electricity is included, so she probably won't be cold. I'd be happy for her to slum it a bit more but not in a completely private flat for her first year, so the more luxurious than strictly necessary option turns out to be the cheapest unless going with a private landlord.

More comfortable than in 'my day' but more expensive and more complicated too. I just applied for a place in a catered hall, turned up at the start of fresher's week and got on with it without having to research accommodation and procure bedding, pots and pans, plates etc.

Hardly anyone I knew worked in term time - though most students got summer jobs. Then again mobiles and laptops weren't around to eat up our grants and I'm fairly sure it didn't cost the 1980s equivalent of £40 for a freshers' week pass when I was a student. We didn't have a presumably expensive annual ball or fancy-dress party either. It was a 'disco' and 'cheese and wine parties'. Perhaps not as exciting but surely cheaper.

[Lilymaid]

OP we have been fairly generous with both DCs as we wanted them to have similar experiences to us when we were students back in the days of reasonable maintenance grants. I find the idea of casting DCs adrift when they are 18 bizarre. I can understand if the DPs are poor but not when DPs have good incomes but expect their DC to survive on a diet of value pasta, max out their overdrafts etc.

[GnomeDePlume]

chocoluvva you have reminded me of my student halls (1985-89).

Catered because there was no choice. Terrible food and weirdly expensive (dodgy scheme created by the catering manager meant that resident students paid more than Joe Bloggs walking in off the street).

Tiny, tiny room with only a couple of electrical sockets but that was probably best as I suspect the wiring was as old as the hall (around 1910). All flickering lights and dodgy electrics.

Shared 'bathrooms'. One shower & four baths between 30. Very odd toilets - one called the throne room as the toilet itself was up on a kind of dais.

Happy days because I met DH there.

[friendface]

MillyMollyMama it's only a short let so works out at roughly £200 which is far more than at other non-London universities DS looked at. IMO it seems pretty pricey (especially since it's shared bathrooms) however he does can three meals a day and includes bills so he will at least be warm and fed!

[alreadytaken]

£75 pounds a week isn't tight according to the student room.

Students who have trouble getting mobile phone contracts can get a giffgaff goodybag. giffgaff.com/sim-only?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=500%20mins%20-%20only%2010&utm_campaign=ps-G_PC_Brand%20Pure&gclid=CMih37fwosACFUW6tAodfkgAPw&gclsrc=ds&dclid=CKDO7bfwosACFch_fAodm2oAxg

No contract required but they can do an automatic renewal so they don't forget. If their friends (or parents) have giffgaff they can call for free. After running that for a few months they'd be better placed to get a contract.

The ones with jobs will be better placed to enter the job market when they leave university. Most students now seem t work part of the summer.

And the new bedding - bought some of that and after a term they took their old bedding instead. Buy a good thick mattres protector though.

[hstar1995]

Last year my parents gave my £50 a week when I was in catered accomodation, because my loan went on rent, and this was plenty. Although I had to learn to budget, I found that I could live comfortably off the money as long as I didn't spend it stupidly :D

[chocoluvva]

Gnome in my year in catered halls I got up at 6.30am to beat the queue for the showers. For lunch on mon-thursdays I had a beaker of Ribena and a jam roll I'd filched from breakfast. I went home at the end of the first term absolutely knackered and very thin. I got a full grant so no worries about repaying a loan, but I didn't have the sense of security that comes from having family who could bale me out if need be like lots of my friends, so I was extremely thrifty.

However, in 2nd year I ditched my straight-laced boyfriend, discovered the joys of alcohol and changed my ways

[Runningforfun]

Word factory his money refers to his student loan, my friend cannot dip into that as and when he is at home.

He already has a job offer as soon as he leaves and when he has left uni he wants to help to buy the rented house his mum sister and him (when he is back from uni) live in. He is trying to keep his loan to a minimum so it won't go against him when he goes for a mortgage.

Df is on minimum wage, and really counts the pennies. Her benefits have gone down since he has left and although working F/T she cannot take on any other job as the child care would outstrip her earnings.

So I thought a perfectly valid question given there is a lot of people on this thread saying they give their dc hundreds of pounds per month when some students will come from families where the family income has gone down but the family are still expected to maintain a second household or their dc get into so much debt that the knock on effects for the rest of that child's life could be catastrophic.

[allmycats]

We gave our son between 40 and 50 a week - this was to cover all his food, petrol, household bills socialising etc and he says this plenty. We did however, pay for his books at the start and he got a bursary of 700 a year which covered major purchases. We also paid his rent, he was in a shared house from the very start and this worked out much cheaper than halls/uni accomodation and taught him how to budget for electric/gas etc.

[whattheseithakasmean]

This is a really useful thread, thank you for starting it.

I don't have to worry about this until next year, but it is good to be prepared. It is all so different from when I was a student - fees were paid plus I got a grant, it is hard to imagine now.

We are in Scotland, so no fees at the moment (although it does limit choice of Uni to Scottish only, no Oxbridge for DD). The idea of paying for halls & leaving loan for living costs seems sensible, for the first year.

It is so tough for our young'uns these days, I had a grant, there was plenty of work. We really have screwed up somewhere along the line, I think.

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

At myDS's Uni, (big city) most of the kids seem to live in modern, purpose built private student flats. The companies running them must be making an absolute fortune. I am not sure that it is much more expensive than renting a traditional crumbling student house by the time bills, wifi etc have been factored in. DS has always got his deposit back too.

I have horrid memories of freezing, mouldy student houses. Nothing romantic or character forming about it at all. Though I must admit that even now, thirty years later I have a deep appreciation for my steaming hot showers; I had so many student baths in icy bathrooms with two inches of hot water that had cost memy last 50p in the metre.

[Hakluyt]

My university owned a lovely old house in the country where they held reading parties. It had huge old baths and unlimited hot water. I still remember the pure joy...........

[LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance]

We are tight-fisted compared to most, it seems.

We are not far above the point at which they get the minimum maintanance loan.

Last year we gave DS1 £50 a week and have continued throughout the holidays. He was in part catered accommodation - not his choice but take it or leave it.

I think he gets by on a lot less than he would have had access to if we were a low income family. This isn't a criticism, just a fact. There are obviously swings and roundabouts but we just cannot make up the difference from our earned income without selling the house - especially as DS2 is starting a 4 year course this September too. Luckily they will have graduated before it's DS3's turn.

DS1 had money for his birthday and Christmas and eventually after lots of trying, he got a couple of hours bar work in term time. This summer - again after lots of job searching - he's cleaning rooms in a budget hotel chain for a few hours a week (variable depending on bookings). He also sold tickets to event in the first term for a small comission.

He will start Year 2 with about £600 in his bank account, having bought himself £700 worth of computer stuff this summer and not touched his overdraft.

It seems he is a million miles better with money than me. I'm very glad of this. I often ask him to tell us if he's missing out on stuff because he can't afford it. He says he's not and I have to believe him. I worry though.

We took out a tiny endowment policy for DS1 and 2 when they were born. They are choosing not to use it for everyday expenses, just things like deposits on a house for Year 2 etc.

I am hoping to find a stock of magic MN chickens to send him off with in September.

[SierpinskiNumber]

It's not tightfisted to give less money and require your DC to work whilst at Uni. Some parents want to contribute and some don't - either option is perfectly ok.
We can afford to help our kids and fund them so they don't have to work but we only do it because we want to. I don't think we would be 'tight' if we chose not to.

[BackforGood]

Funnily enough, I mentioned to ds that I had some money for him, that my Dad had invested for each of his Grandchildren, before he died (I'm only talking hundreds, not thousands of ££, but even so...).
ds wants me to keep hold of it, as he wants to use it for something specific, and not chip away at it, just 'living' at University. He wants to use it if he goes travelling at some point, or to buy his first car with or something that he can say "this was from Grandad".
He knows money is going to be tight, but also knows how to cook, shop and live frugally if he has to.

[Hakluyt]

"I don't think we would be 'tight' if we chose not to."

I do, if it's won't not can't. Why wouldn't you, if you could?

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

Lets I'm pretty sure that if you have two in university then the loan/grant people only count half your income for each one. That could mean a decent amount of non repayable money for your two and could seriously be worth looking in to, before September.

[secretsquirrels]

Hakluyt Why wouldn't you, if you could
Yes I agree. I don't see them starting university as a cut off point in parenting. I see it as part of a seamless process in the changing family dynamics. Why on earth would I want money in my bank knowing that my DC was worrying about every penny?
Am I supposed to be teaching them a lesson? Perhaps, but I have no problem with supporting them as long as they need it.
I would like them to work, but only a little for the right reasons. To gain experience and life skills, not at the expense of studying.

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

Hakluyt. Absolutely. My very good friend scrimped and saved, missed out on loads of fun opportunities and was genuinely threadbare and hungry during university.

Thirty years on she is keeping her student kids very short, saying they should find a part time job. Er, I don't remember her ever looking for a part time job. It is very weird because being so skint made her student days pretty miserable.

[LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance]

Tinkly we looked into it. They just knock a couple of grand off your income for assessment purposes, which doesn't bring us below the cut off point.

[BackforGood]

Tinkly - no, they don't. Common sense would suggest they should take into account the number of dc you are having to support through University, but the rules don't include that common sense.

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

Really . Bloody hell, I'm going to have two in University together for many years. Better redo my calculations.

[LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance]

Yup

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

Hmm if DS does a masters I'll have three there at the same time.

Wonder if DD2 fancies a gap year?