Right. Now we all know that all mumsnet children have been working down the mine since they were 6....

[Hakluyt]

... and wouldn't expect their parents to contribute a penny towards their living expenses from the stroke of midnight on their 18th birthday.

But here in the real world, there are 18 year olds going off to university with very little or no savings. And with loans that barely cover their accommodation. And who will probably not be able to find a well paid job within a week of arriving in a new town and living away from home for the first time.
For those of us with pathetic, dependent, useless teenagers like this- what is a reasonable amount of money to give them to cover sensible expenses and have a bit over for fun?

Yup - I know a few families where they've been OK when the eldest one starts, but then it gets so much more difficult to help out if you have a 2nd, or even 3rd dc at University at the same time.

I'm going to have four in Uni at the same time next year as long as DD2 doesn't take a gap year. DS1 is doing a five year course and DS2 and DD1 are doing 4 year courses. It's expensive.

Anyone want to buy a kidney. 1 semi- careful owner?

Tinkly between us we've had at least 2 at uni for the last 3 years and as DD and DSS are both doing 4 year degrees we've got another 3 years of increasing penury to look forward to.

I did ask about allowances at the SF talk at one of DS's open days and was told 'tough luck' wish I'd gone to an open day before buying a house with now DH

I may have said this before. I think those on the "what is the best age gap" threads should read this.
I confess to always feeling smugly that my 2 year age gap was perfect in every way.
DS1 is about to start a 4 year degree and DS2 will overlap by 2 years.Oops.

I really do think that using the basis of matching the maximum amount of loan that someone of a nil income would get is the right amount.

Any more and you are just continuing their childish dependence at a time when they should be learning how to be an adult, budgeting wisely etc. The students who had help from their parents where always very immature and unwise with money and didn't seem to be able to understand what it was like to have to budget and not run to mummy and daddy to run their sparkly car etc.

I agree "why" with matching the money. So a full grant and a loan could be £8000+ depending on the policy for bursaries from individual universities.

I sometimes get annoyed though as some people seem to distinguish between what the government gives to a student and what a parent contributes. So it is OK for a student to have a full grant and a bursary from the Government as they are from a low income family but students whose parents contribute the same amount are described as being mollycoddled and funded by the Bank of Mum and Dad and should get a job. Obviously there are some families that do fund every cost for their DCs at university rather than merely support them. We are in the latter category. My DC's have both had jobs from the second year and obviously work in the summer holidays but we would hate for them to have to work extra hours and therefore affect the outcome of their degrees if we can help out.

students from low income families may not be able to live free in the holidays, some may have to contribute to the family budget when at home. So funding your child to that level (and probably topping it up or supplying genourous presents at Christmas and birthdays) is still generous. It's what we did for first year while they adjusted to budgeting. They have enough to live on if not getting drunk too often sensible, don't see why I should fund extravagance.

I suppose I understand why some people like to keep their young people as chidren but it isn't something I'm prepared to do, especially as we'll be funding them for 6 years. I've seen what happens when spoilt child adults finally have to grow up and it's not pretty.

We gave DS £3,000 towards accommodation each year, he also got the basic student loan £3,500 or whatever it was, he also had a job in term time and holidays, so could afford 'luxuries' (clothes, holiday etc.) If he hadn't got a job, that amount (6,500) would have had to provide basic stuff and accommodation costs for him.

He studied in a northern city, so accommodation, bus fares etc. not to expensive, he probably would have needed more in London/south.

We also pay DS's rent and leave him the Maintenance loan, but he has decided not to take the loan this year as he got a job at Uni earning around £50pw which covered all his food & going out costs, and he has earned almost £3k this holiday so will have that (and last years loan which he put into an ISA)

I suppose this means that £50pw should cover all expenditure if their loan is all spent on rent.

Ds has just had his accommodation confirmed - more expensive than any of his choices at £144 per week (for 42 weeks). This works out £6048 for the year!! His maintenance loan for the year is £3610, he is not entitled to anything else as dp is a 'high' earner.
We are thinking that we will pay £100 towards his rent each week and see how he gets on. I did not want to pay for his accommodation outright, as I thought it should be part of his learning how to budget etc, but I can see that it would probably be the easiest thing to do.
I'm trying to set hi up with most of what he needs before he goes off - clothes, kitchen stuff, toiletries etc, as I think it will be quite a hard first term, getting used to living away from home, cooking every day etc. I'm getting most things from places like Wilko etc, but I will be buying him brand new fluffy good quality bath towels, as a treat.

I can't would it be possible for you to get some of his Kitchen stuff when you take him. We did this with DD2 and 3 as we learnt from DD1 that lots of students bring the same things and it was better to wait and see what the others had then they shared stuff and. we bought some extra bits,

icant is that £6,048 for self catered ?? Scarily expensive if that is the case. Is this in London?

The other thing worth knowing, is that most universities have facebook groups for the accommodation, so you can "meet" your housemates on-line first, and agree between you 'I'll bring a toaster, you bring a kettle, I'll bring some saucepans, can you bring an iron' or whatever it is they are really only going to need one of between everyone sharing that kitchen.

ICant Thats hugely expensive, DS's for the last three years has been between £3500 and £4000 for halls or shared house. Hopefully it will be cheaper next year in the student house.

So anyway out of interest I had a look at how much DS's halls would cost now and it was about £5000 for the 42 weeks, this is a massive increase since he was in halls 3 years ago, when it was about £3700 . This is for not on campus, self catering with ensuite.

Yes, ds's is going to be £3280 (40w x £82) , not on campus, not en-suite, self catering, and in what is known to be a "cheaper" university.

I was quite shocked how expensive the accommodation is at most Universities - glad he's gone where he has, tbh. Part of the issue is that they've made nearly all accom. 'en-suite' now (well, squeezed a toilet and shower into a broom cupboard in all the rooms) and due to the square footage this takes up - x7/8/9 rooms in a flat - then the prices have gone up accordingly.
Shared houses in 2nd yr are cheaper in theory, but not so much once you factor in having to pay for 52 weeks.

DS did find in the 2nd and 3rd years when he had to get a 52 week contract on a house that it was best to make use of this and stay in his uni city for the holidays where he was able to get loads of extra hours for his part time job, he ended up working about full time. It did mean we didn't see him much but it was no different to if he had moved away for work and it did keep him very occupied in the holidays and he earned a lot of money. Of course this is no good if they can't get a job anyway as it is very difficult nowadays and DS did realise how lucky he was to have this option.

We still don't know what the cost will be. DS will be allocated accommodation about 7th September and his choices range in cost from £3600 for a 39 week hall to £5600 for a 30 week hall.
We have decided to aim for giving him £300 a month on top of accommodation and see how that works.

Dd's accomodation is going to cost £4100 a year- £500 more than her loan!

We also decided on an amount we were to subsidise DS with (£3000) depending on the cost of accommodation etc and basic living cost and paid this regardless of what DS was earning, as we felt it wasn't fair to say, DS you have now got a job so we are not going to pay this money for your accommodation, you can pay it out of your earnings. That way we felt DS was the one benefitting from his job not us.

boys3 - The £144 a week is for self-catered ensuite accommodation on campus in the midlands !!! My son would have been happy with the cheapest accommodation, but he like all the others complaining online did not get what they requested. Actually there are some kids online who are saying they won't be able to go to uni, as they assumed they would get the cheaper accommodation (approx. £90) and their parents can not help with the extra cost. Roll on next year when hopefully a shared student house will be cheaper.

mumeee - He has suggested leaving the kitchen stuff, until he can find some of his flatmates on facebook and agree what to take between them. The trouble is, I'm itching to get shopping and get it sorted out before the rest of us go back to school next week.

It all depends on your income and circumstances. I don't think a one size fits all can work. Most people I know give what they can on a monthly basis and if they can afford to pay the hall fees or partof them they do.

We just paid for accommodation for all 3 of our DDs and didn't give them a monthly allowance but did occasionally send them parcels. DD3 is going into the second year and her accommodation has been the cheapest. She is at a northern uni and doesn't have ensuit.

We at speechless at the cost of ds accommodation. It's not what he chose and is over £9.5 pa! Yes it has an ensuite, no he didn't ask for that. Yes it's catered 2 meals a day, no he didn't ask for that. We, and ds, consider ourselves very lucky that we can afford to pay this. We have been paying more than this for school fees. Ds will get all his maintenance allowance. We have told him what he can save he can invest (investing is one of his hobbies).
I'm confident that he will get a job and save as well.
On the other hand, how on earth the lovely boy he met at the offer holders event will manage is beyond me. I know there are bursaries, grants etc but this poor chap travelled from deepest Wales, hitch hiking to the train station, went part way on the train and then transferred to a cheap bus. He had a packed lunch and not a penny for a beer. Happily he was ok with accepting a drink from ds so the group could stay together after the uni event and continue bonding.

icant , the only positive I can find for you / your DS is that at least he may, hopefully will, have better options for yrs 2 & 3. That cost for self-catering really is taking the proverbial, especially knowing its not in London. Best of luck to him though.