Right. Now we all know that all mumsnet children have been working down the mine since they were 6....

[Hakluyt]

... and wouldn't expect their parents to contribute a penny towards their living expenses from the stroke of midnight on their 18th birthday.

But here in the real world, there are 18 year olds going off to university with very little or no savings. And with loans that barely cover their accommodation. And who will probably not be able to find a well paid job within a week of arriving in a new town and living away from home for the first time.
For those of us with pathetic, dependent, useless teenagers like this- what is a reasonable amount of money to give them to cover sensible expenses and have a bit over for fun?

Oh and lots of young people are still on theirt parents' phone contracts because it's so hard to get a contract at 18 and pay as you go is stupidly expensive!

'I don't agree with doling out money by the week.'

Depends, to begin with I gave her a lump sum per term. Then our circumstances changed and £50 a week was how much I could afford to give her, as I was paid weekly.

Not much help, but I didn't know anyone who's parents gave them money throughout uni, unless they kept it a secret.

I think it's lovely though!

There won't be a certain amount that will be enough for everyone though, it will depend where they are studying, what acc etc.

Could you give them say £500 to start with and then after a month/couple of months once they are settled work out with them what they needed, see how they budgeted/spent and then go from there?

I'm of the " cracked plates and make a chicken last a week" brigade. We do bank roll them and don't expect them to pay anything in holidays etc but I'm aware other parents are more able to do more.

However DD1 is through her 1st degree and has more than survived. She's had a great time and got a brilliant degree- and skills for life if she continues in academia as she'll never have much money! She has no extra debt either so I'd say that was a success maybe.

DS about to go. We will be still supporting DD1 as she's doing an MA (fees covered) . If we at home have chipped china and a chicken lasting a week to do this, they are not having ££ to live on take outs!

Yes DD you really DO need to sort a job out...

Oh god, giving money in one lump sum for the year/term is horrible. Imagine if your job paid you once a year! My parents did this to me (plus the horrible "let us know if you need more money" which meant you had to justify every penny you had spent and meant that I HATED to ask and did without a lot of basic things and stressed myself out because i didn't want to ask) and I hated it. I forced them to give money to my younger brothers monthly when they went to university - it still requires budgeting skills but it's less nuclear than getting in one go!

But what happens if you don't have any money to give them each month? When friends ds went of to uni her tax credits, family allowance etc stopped for him but he still needed train fare to get home in the holidays, he still needed feeding clothes washing etc so still living at home for a good few months overall per year but no money to support him. Df works as a teaching assistant and has another dc at home.

I could afford to support dc up to £100 per month each but the finances wouldn't stretch to anything more. We haven't anything we could cut down on. Dc know this and have now both started working a few hours per week.

mandy students whose families are on very low incomes are sometimes entitled to extra help in the form of bursaries.

Financially, they will often struggle less than the students whose families are on a middle income which means they don't get anything above the maintainance loan (sometimes not even the full amount of that, as it's means tested), yet their parents can@t help out much.

Like others we pay for accommodation and DD lives off her loan. She also has a part time job which she saves as much as she possibly can as she prefers not to work in the holidays. She is going into her second year and its worked well so far.

I also put £100 per month away so that I can treat her to new clothes and nice stuff :) I like to do this, rather than her asking for it.

We've told DD that we will give her £200 per month. She will get £4,500 in loans approx. + £2OOO scholarship. She earns approx. £30 per month.

She bought things from IKEA and I bought good quality pots and some bits and pieces for her and will give her a few odds and ends from my cupboards.

I'm not sure how I feel about this though.

I just potter along doing what I'm comfortable with, as I always have done with my parenting and my life and my relationships.
If I begin feeling resentful or exploited in any situation, I examine the cause and decide for myself if IABU or not, and then I make a decision.
£200 a month felt reasonable to me, and it was what I could afford without giving up biscuits and the occasional theatre ticket. So that's what I gave her.

After their accommodation is paid our DCs have £50 per week and we pay for the phone as linked into our contract. We worked out our DC's allowance by adding max loan and max grant the government would have given plus any bursaries that their universities awarded to low income families. Then we subtracted the accommodation and then divided the rest by the number of weeks at university. They have both worked in the summer vacation and have jobs in term time from year 2 onwards. It is though not always easy to get jobs.

Do be aware that the first few weeks do cost more. Freshers week can be expensive depending on how much your DC like to party. There are also clubs and societies to join which seem to be very expensive these days. My DCs courses all ran book sales at the beginning of term, but they also used the library.

I give my daughter 75 a week, and a couple of flights home per year. She's in London, though, which is more expensive.

We're currently going through a nightmare scenario with her rental people, and I'm shocked at the fees estate agents charge for every little administrative change. THAT is going to cost me mega-bucks.

I trust my sons to be sensible with the money up front. We've taught them how to buy and sell shares. The money upfront makes them much more savvy about personal finance which is an exceptionally useful life skill. Son 1 is going into his fourth year and he hasn't asked for help and has in fact managed to save money.

I don't expect my sons to work through university unless they want to. They'll have forty years or more of work once they finish.

I gave ds extra at the start of the first term (~£500 as I recall) in recognition that there are quite a lot of upfront costs for joining clubs, buying railcards, books and other things you don't know you need until you are there. I made it quite clear it was a one off payment. He doesnt work in term time and I also gave him about £100 per week (paid at start of each term) which turned out to be more than he needed so has been gradually revised downward by agreement with him as time has gone on. If your dc is reasonably sensible and not likely to splurge whatever they are given, and if you can afford it I would tend to be generous at the start and sit down after a term or two and see how things actually are. The actual amount needed on top of the loan depends hugely on accomodation costs which are very variable.

On the chipped plates, we had a new induction hob at home so had some decent pots and pans going spare that were no longer needed at home that were gratefully received. I think the mugs/plates/bedding/towels that he took were either new or nearly new.

My three each get £350 a month for everything accept tuition and accomodation. They are all rolling in cash and save quite easily. . They do live very frugally (don't drink or don't drink much, batch cook, shop at Oxfam, book train months in advance, very cheap phones etc) and they all study up north.

They all manage to pay for driving lessons out of that too which is a big expense.

We can easily afford it and are completely at peace that our kids are financially secure and don't have to worry about money. They are very respectful and grateful that they are being helped out. They 'reward' us by working hard and not wasting money.

I agree with DownByTheRiversides way of thinking. If I thought my DCs were being bratty I would deal with it sharpish.

Right. What we've decided to do (thank you all) is to pay her accommodation. Then she can have the loan to live on. We can afford the money up front this year. That seems to give at least the illusion of more independence. Dp didn't get a full grant, but his parents were never able to make the contributions they should have done, and jobs were hard to come by in those days, so he really struggled sometimes because he never felt he could ask for help. He's very keen that dd doesn't find herself in the same position. And we can bung her the occasional tenner as and when.

We are paying DS's accommodation but, because he's in catered halls, he's going to contribute to that through his loan as well. That will leave him around £50 a week for everything except basic meals. We will also pay his phone bill and help out with freshers' week before his loan comes through. He is also in a Northern city, although it is a student city so probably won't be that cheap.

The first term can be pretty expensive so you might think of giving a bit extra for joining clubs and buying equipment for activities etc. Exam term, on the other hand. Is fairly quiet so they spend less.

Grandma usually comes up trumps on such occasions. In fact, dd got a letter addressed in her handwriting this very morning!

It's also great if students can arrive with some decent basic kit - stationary, clothes, footwear, a coat, a rucksack etc as these can very quickly deplete funds earmarked for food etc.

Heading to TXMaxx on Sunday, Word! She also wants to take the biggest jar of Marmite we can find. She reckons she can live on Nigella's marmite pasta and frozen peas almost indefinitely..........

Wordfactory, the money goes to him to cover his expenses whilst at uni not to give to his mum so she can feed and water him and keep a room for him when he is home in the holidays. Df rents her 3 bed house and claims HB but that has gone down since he went to uni. He still needs a roof over his head from the end of one term to the beginning of another.

DS is going in a catered hall, but I still think that he will need £100-120 a week for lunches, miscellaneous stuff and nights out. Or is Uni life a lot cheaper than real life? I don't think it is from what I've seen.

We are covering most of his accommodation and he will have the rest of his minimum maintenance loan and savings from his part time job (that he is leaving) to live off.

Really useful thread, thank you OP. We're at the same stage as you, and I just keep fretting uselessly about what to do money-wise. It's a very good idea to pay hall fees then let them have the loan; I hadn't thought of that. DS's loan won't cover his accommodation anyway, and that's before any food or other necessities.
Add into the mix that he has been told categorically that getting a job in term time will not be an option. Sigh. Now to do some serious finance scrutiny to see if we can cover the rent - DH thinks not. I honestly don't know how people manage.

Running I don't follow....what money goes to who?

Hak TKMax is a friend .

Also worth noting that both New Look and Top Shop offer discount to those with a student card. I'm going to give my niece a voucher for both shops so that she can buy a few bits when she arrive and sees what she might be short of...