EMPTY NEST SUPPORT THREAD-Part 2

[MissMarplesBloomers]

Part one lasted seven years! Thanks RustyBear for the great idea.

I have one DD off this year and another one starting Sixth form so will be here for a few years!

So how are all the DC's getting on with the lists/packing etc?

[Marshy]

zappier and mumblechum good to hear your news. "Thanks for looking after me" would have me in floods - how sweet of them
DBT dd is studying anthropology. Hope it turns out to be a good choice. What is your ds studying? Reassuring to hear he has been happy at Brunel.
Dd is on holiday, due back tomorrow and then off to uni a week today, so hasn't been here all week. Do you know what I did tonight when putting dinner on the table? Yes, set 4 places.....there's no hope,is there

[madeofkent]

I posted this before I saw that zapier was on!

Yes, sharpies would be good, thanks, but he does love his little sticky labels. So he can try both if I pack one for him.

'Glad it went well mumblechum, hope zappier's goes well too - I saw a friend today, I was helping at a fete stall and she walked past with two sons, her eldest daughter went off yesterday and she looked like a bloodhound that had been in the sun for too long, her eyes were so baggy and red from crying!!! Have decided that as a result that I WILL NOT CRY next week - or at least will have the decency to wear dark glasses and subject others to such an awful sight, as I am sure that I could easily out-bloodhound her.'

That was so sweet, and I'm glad it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be.

[zappier]

Thank you for all your support, it really is appreciated; the hardest thing was coming back to the empty house but that's a hurdle over with. He's happy, that's what counts isn't it? It's what we do, prepare them to be independent and successful then set them free.

[mumeeee]

Zappier and Mumblechums I would have been in floods of tears at that comment. Can't see DD3 saying that though, I remember keeping it together when we left DD2 but bursting into tears when we got back to the car. Hope I don't get too tearful when we leave DD3 next week.

[zappier]

mumeee good luck for next week: you can only do your best

[JGBMum]

Mumblechum and zappier, pleased it went well, at least it's done and life can settle into a new rhythm now for a few months.

Good luck to those going off next weekend,

Missmarple, I think you and I will be sob-festing on our own!!
Has anyone else got DC not going off till the end of the month?

[MissMarplesBloomers]

mumble & Zapp that has made me well up just READING it!!

JGBMum yes I think we will! When are you back from sunny climes? DD had had a welcome pack from the SU & is all excited about freshers week!!

[JGBMum]

Missmarple - Home on Friday, hopefully in time to collect dd (12) from the school bus.
At least DS2 is due home at some point today so I might start to get some info!
It's great having you keep me up to date

[mumblechum1]

TIP if you have to park a long way away from the Halls (we were about 150 yards down a steep hill), take rucksacks. All 3 of us had a rucksack on our back and a big box in our hands and did the whole 2 cars' worth in two trips.

DS is on the 10th floor and there was just one tiny lift.

There was a drop off area but the queue to get into it was a mile long so we just parked and walked.

[mrsrhodgilbert]

Dd1 goes on Sunday. She won't be far away, less than an hour by car, but I think she is likely to be horribly homesick. I want her to love it as I did but she is much more of a homebody than I ever was. What is a reasonable amount time to persuade her to stay before a trip home? She is excited but really quire nervous.

[ISingSoprano]

Rather than her coming home could you perhaps arrange to go and meet her for lunch on a Saturday or Sunday?

[Awks]

DD1 went to Zante yesterday for a week with her friends and flies back into Manchester to start her third year. She broke her ankle in April and has been more or less home since then so I am going to miss her arsy face massively.

Re the coming home, dd was like that, she's a country girl at heart and we found that if we suggested she didnt rush back in year 1, that made her more anxious and stressed so we just said no matter what time of day or night, and how silly you feel if you want to come home come. We will come and get you. She did once when she felt really ill but I think knowing that made her feel braver iyswim. She's in her last year now and still doesn't really like the city but is doing well and has made some lovely friends.

[mrsrhodgilbert]

We have said we will go over any weekend and take her out for lunch. It's home she will miss though, she gets homesick on a two week family holiday!! We have said she can come back whenever she likes. I've tried to suggest staying at least 2or3 weeks at least.

[Milliways]

DS leaves on Saturday and we will become "empty nesters". We almost have everything bought/scrounged so it is becoming real. DS is so excited and has been applying for jobs online in his Uni town today. He has always been good with money and has a lot of savings from his jobs here, so hope he gets something quickly.

[whitecloud]

My dd is going on the 22nd. Her friends are leaving this weekend as well as next so is going to a lot of farewell dos. I keep doing ordinary things like going to the supermarket with her and realising that she will be going soon so it's the last time for ages. She has booked some freshers events she is interested in. I think it still feels a bit unreal. Have had a bit of a cry at times, but am trying to be strong and calm. She is nervous and excited. Thanks for all the advice and support. It's good to know so many others are feeling the same thing.

[MissMarplesBloomers]

JGB mum you're welcome!

We are sticking to going on the Sunday now, as asked to. I had a massive email row with Ex ( who I don't usually engage much with as per MN wisdom!) about him being more supportive as DD 1really would like us both to come & see her digs & she wants DD2 there as well, which would have meant packing my car to the roof !

[dementedma]

Dropped dd off on Sunday with all her gear. Got the lot in IKEA pretty much. Thanks to the lists on here she had sticky labels, clothes drier, coat hangers and passport photos. Forgot a pen drive though.
Miss her already....
Made her up a sparkly silver gift bag and labelled it "Emergency kit". Apart from wee card from me with some tongue in cheek rules in it it contains:
Chocolate
Biscuits
Hot chocolate sachets
Mini bottle of wine
Spare pair of knickers
Condoms
£10
Facepack
Hair bobbles and clips.

Hope she likes it

[mumeeee]

dementedma I'm sure she'll like it. DD3 helps out with the 4 to 7's group at church. She was given a useful uni gift from the team which included tea towels, mug, stationary, hot chocolate, biscuits, wooden spoon, knickers and chocolate and lots of teabags. She loved it had to unwrap it when she got it as the children wanted to se what she had got.
she goes on Saturday and has nearly finished packing.

[zizza]

Less than 2 weeks to go and it's starting to hit me now. I think she's wanted this for so long, and worked so hard to get it (vet school) that I forgot about the realities of her leaving home. Her big brother's coming home just after she leaves and using her bedroom which is all a bit surreal! (he's an injured dancer living abroad so he's coming back to relieve the boredom for a few weeks!!)

Youngest ds will be off next year so that'll be us (me and DH) having to talk to eachother, but at last the house might be tidy ;-)

[melodyangel]

DS1 goes this weekend - I well up every time I think about it. I am hoping that I will be brave on the day and not make a total fool of myself although I will need lots of tissues in the car for on the way home.

Really I was holding a tiny baby all new and perfect and blinked and he is off to uni! Super proud of him.

Hope all your DC's settle in well and have the time of their lives.

[JellicleCat]

My DD is off on Saturday too.

She went off today to get passport photos, tin opener and padlocks. Came back with the first two, but had forgotten the padlocks and had bought a kitchen timer instead

Keep telling myself she will cope, but not sure I believe it!

[MissMarplesBloomers]

oo-er it's getting closer now, although STILL no confirmation of halls

Going shopping for dry goods & last bits & bobs Thursday when I get paid.

Popped into Aldi today & they have load of useful bits & bobs in jazzy colours. Might treat myself to those & send DD off with my old ones!!!!

[madeofkent]

ooh, kitchen timer, that's a good one. I don't see how we are going to be able to carry it all! Or where he is going to store it. If he gets homesick and decides to travel home he will just have a rucksack I think, there's nowhere to store big travel bags. He will have food and spare bedding under his bed. Must go and buy under bed storage boxes this week. He nearly gave me a heart attack today, saying that he might want to go next wednesday as there were a few events for students who were moving into halls early. I managed to persuade him that two coffee mornings do not a party make, and that he would we wiser to carry on cooking dinner for us all every night to perfect his catering skills. Why is it that just as he is becoming a decent cook he is leaving home?

I found a non-slip tray on Amazon, I thought it might give all those mouldy glasses he will stash in his room a bit of a fighting chance.

[mathanxiety]

When DD1 was subletting over the summer a couple of years ago (her job was not close enough to home to enable her to live here) I got her a small cast iron pan that was good for stovetop or oven use, and a heavy duty oven mitt to go with it.

She fried meats, eggs, potatoes, made pancakes, and used it in the oven for small casseroles, pies, half a cake recipe, and many more items. The other pot I got her was a bigger, taller one for pasta.

[Doilooklikeatourist]

Just had my first wobbly moment ...:(
DS still being obnoxious , ( think its nerves and bravado , so I'm being normal , not snappy )
Tells me the new PJs we bought in Tesco last week have security tags , obviously I can't find the bloody receipt , and get tearful , planning what to say to prove I'm not a shoplifter .
Decide to sit down and have a coffee and a piece of toast , and find the receipt so panic over .

Thinking of making him a Tuck Box , but what to put in it ?
Chocolate digestives .
What else ? He doesn't like tea / coffee / hot choc .
Only drinks squash Strongbow , vodka and jaeger bombs
Any ideas welcome

Need to get everything sorted today , as I'm working on Thursday and I don't want to be rushing round like a fool on Friday .
Leaving Saturday ( early ) as we're in South Wales and he's going to the far side of London .