EMPTY NEST SUPPORT THREAD-Part 2

[MissMarplesBloomers]

Part one lasted seven years! Thanks RustyBear for the great idea.

I have one DD off this year and another one starting Sixth form so will be here for a few years!

So how are all the DC's getting on with the lists/packing etc?

[Marshy]

I've been lurking on this thread and posting on one of two related ones - all very helpful.
My dd is off to Brunel next weekend. She's on holiday with boyfriend at the moment, not back til next week. We had a mad weekend of shopping for uni stuff before she went, so reasonably prepared re the practicalities but I don't think I'm prepared for her to be actually really leaving!
Still have ds at home, just started 6th form, so we have been getting used to just being the 3 of us this week (with dh)
Ive found the practical tips here so helpful and knowing that I'm not alone with the emotional stuff.
Good luck to everyone who is off this weekend.

[ISingSoprano]

Ds spent yesterday evening drawing up a budget. He has now scared himself senseless about how much everything costs!

[mumblechum1]

Just picked up DS from his friend's house. They had yet another all-nighter, he's had 2 hours sleep, smells like a distillery and is very down about leaving his friends (and family, he added hastily).

Just packing the cars now, we're doing it in two cars as he has sooooo much stuff! It's going to be a major task just carrying it from the car park 200 yards away and up 8 floors. Hope the lift's working!

[fussychica]

You all have it easy on the packing front. DS has been in Germany on a 14 weeks internship with one suitcase and a backpack and will be surviving on the contents of similar for 7 months on his year abroad starting at the end of the month.
Must remember this when he goes back for his final year and the car is packed to the roof and it's a toss up whether there's room for me

He's home next Friday - can't wait. Just a shame it's only for 12 days before he's off again

Happy packing everyone.

[zappier]

Been for the final shop and now just organising what's going in the car tomorrow. This is so hard. :(

[DeathByTray]

What a great thread

We are going to be empty nesters this year. DS1 is going back to Uni next Sunday and then DS2 goes the week after.

For the first time in 21 years - it will just be me and DH.

We have not bought anything yet ! DS1 should be sorting himself out but so far has only bought a huge set of weights (the lifting type) off Ebay. His logic is that it will save him gym fees. I'm not sure the car will even start with them in the back.

[DeathByTray]

Ooh Marshy, I just noticed your dd is off to Brunel. That's where DS1 is.

He's in his 4th year (he's on a 5 year course) and is helping out at Freshers week so will be going there next weekend.

[mathanxiety]

Madeofkent, use sharpies for marking food?

[DeathByTray]

When DS1 first went to Uni, we got him a few of
these
They are great for packing lightweight stuff in the car. They collapse so take up hardly any space in his room. He used them for carrying stuff to and from the kitchen / bathroom and they are then used for the journey home.

[Chopchopbusybusy]

DD1 is off on the 18th. We will still have DD2 at home as she has just started 6th form.
I am a bit worried that DD has forgotten something really crucial in her planning! Mumblechum what on earth is your DS taking that amounts to two car loads?
I was really worried in case DD wouldn't get the grades to go but now tht she has and the day of departure is drawing nearer I'm feeling quite down.

[Chopchopbusybusy]

Actually, that sounds really self pitying. I'm very happy for her and delighted that she has got what she wanted but I am going to really miss her.

[DeathByTray]

Chopchop, it doesn't sound self pitying at all. It is really difficult when your family unit changes.

In terms of thinking your DD has forgotten something crucial. I would say as long as she has her finances, paperwork, identification, gizmos and chargers - there is little that she would not be able to buy locally if she forgets them.

[Marshy]

Oh wow DBT, somehow that makes me feel better. Has your ds enjoyed Brunel? (please just lie if the answer is no!)
Bought sticky labels today (thanks mumsnet tips!) but maybe a sharpie would be good....hopefully sometime soon there will be a day that I don't have to go to the shops....

[Doilooklikeatourist]

DS has gone out with his friends tonight , Although some have gone already , one has joined the army , one or two gone already .

He doesn't know where he's going to be living ( he's on campus , but doesn't know where ) or if his student finance is all complete - I hope it is or we're stuffed
His clothes are being stored in the dining room , his bedroom and his shoes are spread all over the house .

He is being awful at the moment , messy , argumentative and awful

Grrrrrr

I'm sure it's nerves on his part , but at the moment I can't wait for him to leave !

[MissMarplesBloomers]

mumble & zappier Good luck for the off tomorrow -take tissues!

We will have & for your return.

But still no gin emoticon

[mumeeee]

Hope you have a good trip Mumbles and Zappier and don't get too tearful, DD3 is going on Saturday and I'm all already feeling sad. We can only take one car so what doesn''t fit in she'll have to leave behind. We are going to buy some stuff when we get there.

[eatyourveg]

Finally secured ds1's accommodation today - in a uni leased house with 4 others - pots and pans supplied (though looked rather grubby - oven looks even more disgusting) just needs and iron and crockery/cutlery. Nothing allowed on walls though so I'm going to have to look for a massive cork notice board for him to pin stuff on and that can sit on the huge desk against the wall. Anyone seen one on their shopping expeditions?
He wants to take his duvet and pillows from home so they smell "normal and not all new"

Finally looks as though it really is going to happen.

[ISingSoprano]

Good luck everyone going today. Let us know how it goes. Ds has got another two weeks yet.

[DeathByTray]

Marshy no lies needed - DS1 is loving his time at Brunel. He has made lots of good friends.

What is your DD studying?

Good luck to all of those going today.

[mumblechum1]

Well, just back now (we had an overnight stay in a nice hotel & spa in Cheshire last night as it's a long drive from home).

I wasn't too bad at all on the blubbing front; had a cry in the morning before he came home from his mates, and just a little bit tearful when we left him in his room.

When we got back to my car I found his Wild Turkey, so went back up to his flat. Could hear him chatting in the corridor to the 2 girls he's sharing with, handed over the whisky and one of the girls said "let's get drunk!", DS's favourite 3 words.

Texted me this morning to say he had a good night last night, has already made a group of friends and even texted me a photo of his room, all tidy and unpacked

So all in all, not quite the sobfest I'd anticipated.

[mumeeee]

Glad it went well mumblechum. We are off next Saturday and I'm feling sad already. DD3 will have to unpack one suitcase3 while we are up there as we need it.

[ISingSoprano]

Glad it went well this weekend mumblechum.

[zappier]

just got back. managed to keep it together until he hugged me and said 'thanks for looking after me and everything for the past 18 years'. DS had already friends with someone across the hall so I left them to it. It wasn't as bad as I expected so good luck all those who will be doing this soon.

[madeofkent]

Yes, sharpies would be good, thanks, but he does love his little sticky labels. So he can try both if I pack one for him.

Glad it went well mumblechum, hope zappier's goes well too - I saw a friend today, I was helping at a fete stall and she walked past with two sons, her eldest daughter went off yesterday and she looked like a bloodhound that had been in the sun for too long, her eyes were so baggy and red from crying!!! Have decided that as a result that I WILL NOT CRY next week - or at least will have the decency to wear dark glasses and subject others to such an awful sight, as I am sure that I could easily out-bloodhound her.

[mumblechum1]

zappier that's exactly what DS said to me, thank you for looking after me for 19 years (had his bday last week). I couldn't say anything back

Best thing to do, if you can, is have a really good blub in privacy before you do the trip, rather than hold it in and then turn to jelly!