EMPTY NEST SUPPORT THREAD-Part 2

[MissMarplesBloomers]

Part one lasted seven years! Thanks RustyBear for the great idea.

I have one DD off this year and another one starting Sixth form so will be here for a few years!

So how are all the DC's getting on with the lists/packing etc?

I think she can cope without her wellies for a bit. It's not like she needs them for her course, or anything. I will post her running shoes though, they're lightweight trail ones, luckily.

I have received a text with a list of things she's forgotten.

DD3 has just phoned
me unpromted for the first time ever. She is feeling homesick and just wanted to talk. Made me feel sad again. Her flatmates are looking after her though. She went to church this mornimg and forgot to tell them she was going. They had been knocking on her door and were worried about her. They were glad she was okay and she''s now going to watch a film with them,

Sorry to hear your dd is ill MrsRhodGilbert.

Just been to visit DD with her dog who ignored her and licked her flatmates to death. They seem like a nice bunch, apart from one who's a bit lechy, and they have a squatter - a friend of one of the girls has a room in the complex but doesn't get on with her flatmates so she's using their communal area!

Her parents had taken her shopping and she came back to make spanish chicken for everyone, DD had cleaned both hobs (before she knew I was coming) and one of the other girls was organising the boys to wash the mountain of dishes - I'm waiting for the report of flying pigs on tonight's news!

Thanks ising, just freshers cold I think, a bit like when little ones go back to school in September. Mood wise she is much improved.

I've had no contact with DT1 who was delivered yesterday, not even a request for his proper address so I can send him some bank stuff. DT2 has sent a query re student finance and finished it with "having a great time before you ask". Remind me again why I was so upset Thursday and yesterday?!

Little ingrates! Well done ISS, I was ok until we stopped off for lunch on the way back and shed a couple of quiet tears then, but today depite a phone call and facebook I have lost it a few times. Expecting him to be in certain places and laying his place for dinner, that sort of thing.

He has obviously recovered from his hangover, has been to a carnival BBQ and is now off to a Superhero party dressed in cape, mask and sword. Heaven knows where he found those. But there are hours of slight boredom, with none of his possessions around him and only a laptop and a few books. He has many hobbies but they all take up space. If nothing else it is forcing him to socialise more.

well I have done a week now, and she is nearly 8 hours away, it really really really does get better I promise :) am sort of used to it now..

Disastrous day yesterday - lots of tension, lots of arguing with and amongst dc, at one point ds1 ended up saying he wished he had come up by himself. I managed not to cry until I got in the car to drive home and then ds3 shouted out as we drove off Mum's crying - was so mad with him as ds1 has aways said seeing me cry is the most soul destroying feeling ever. Only consolation is that I heard him reply well I can't see her so it doesn't count but I'm so cross with ds3. he has asd but I'm still cross

Didn't even kiss him goodbye - felt myself welling up so just gave him a hug and said keep your trousers on as long as you can.

feel crap and so cross that it wasn't a good day

I am so sorry you had a bad day eatyourveg. Chin up love, you are amongst friends here.

I am so sorry sweetie :( take care

So very sorry eatyourveg, I wish you could do it all over again.

MABS in that case I wish I could wake up and find it's next week, I still feel awful and have to keep reminding myself it's only been two days, but feels like weeks because I keep willing the phone to ring or fb to go 'ting'. Have put a cookery book on top of the phone to stop myself from picking it up to ring him.

He was out until almost 4am last night, so is having a nice quiet day. So he says. I bet he goes out later though.

Ds has just posted on Facebook that he is playing wheely chair hockey in his corridor. I'm guessing this is 'bonding' with his flatmates

My two have gone into complete "radio silence" - nothing on FB, no text, no reponse to email request for addresses - not impressed. I brought them up to be independent but a quick note would be nice!

Sorry to hear that eatyourveg. Perhaps your DS1 was just feeling nervous and apprehensive, Hope he gets in touch with you soon and you feel better.

honesty Madeofkent, a week makes a big difference :)

Dd has just phoned after a catchup with her flat mates to say two, out of the five, are thinking of moving out. One to commute from home and one to live with her boyfriend. No money has been paid yet apart from a deposit so I suppose they think they will leave quickly before they are charged. I'm not actually sure they would get away with that but it's not my concern.

So that would leave three and I guess would be pretty lonely at times. I feel very fed up for her. I have no idea how typical this is but it's not something I expected at all.

Sorry to hear your last day together for a while was a bit of a disaster eatyourveg - it will get better - have some
for you too mrsrhod & frostyfingers and anyone else having a tough time.

Hugs to all the mums struggling this week. As MABS says it really does get easier and they do settle in.

At DT1's uni there's a student accommodation message board which has a list of spaces available, swaps wanted etc mrsrhod so it may be worth them investigating to see if anyone wants to join them. I'm feeling much less bothered today, mostly because the boys are obviously not bothered with me/us! One room cleaned out and nothing too awful found, and the other one will be dealt with tomorrow.

I do have fleeting moments wondering what they're doing and how it's going, but am beginning to let go although the house still feels horribly empty and at my first proper cooking attempt since they both went I still managed to over cater.

I agree with MABS that the first week is the worst and it does get better.

Frosty, I sympathise about the radio silence. Do they have Skype? At least I can see DD is still alive as she changes status from "away" to "offline", as she doesn't answer texts or emails. Actually I think she is just having so much fun she hasn't time for lonely Mum.

Anyone else off before the weekend? My DS is off to Loughborough tomorrow. I believe they are staggering the arrival of different Halls over a few days. I think he is packed...

Been wobbly most of the day - nothing on twitter or facebook though he's without a laptop atm as the shipping date for his new one has been delayed. Had thought he might go into the library to find a place to log in and tell the world he'd arrived in the big city but nothing. No smart phone either. On the positive side dc have been kinder to one another today.

DS1 goes on Friday, husband not around so he's going with his grandpa, way up north! DS2 will find it very quiet and boring with just his mum for company :-( we are staying at home have had enough of saying goodbye to those I love, so feel it is better if he has someone stronger with him.