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Amnesty's proposal to legalise prostitution is wrong - we can't let men who exploit women off the hook

693 replies

MumsnetGuestPosts · 29/01/2014 19:31

An Amnesty International document leaked this week argues for the legalisation of prostitution. It says that approaches like the Swedish Model – which criminalise buying sex, but legalise selling it – are guilty of "devaluing" prostituted women and "criminalising the contexts in which they live". In essence, the proposals say that most women who become prostitutes make a rational, informed choice – effectively , that they enter into a relationship of equals with the men who purchase their bodies.

I’m really disappointed in Amnesty. I'm a long term supporter of the Swedish Model and, for me, the idea that we should simply accept prostitution as a fact of life is totally wrong. It is particularly irresponsible at a time when it's being reported that austerity is driving many women – and in particular single parents – into prostitution.

I believe Amnesty have got it wrong. Firstly, I don’t believe prostitution is, in most cases, "consensual sex between adults", as the policy document describes it. The idea that women who go into prostitution are exercising 'free choice' just doesn’t stack up. Abuse and lack of alternatives are almost always a factor - many enter the sex trade young, and come from backgrounds fraught with suffering and abuse. Of course there are exceptions to the rule but, all things being equal, I believe most women don’t 'choose', in the true sense, to become prostitutes.

Secondly, I disagree with the idea there can be any real equality between a woman who sells her body and a man who buys it. As Amnesty admits, the conditions of the sex trade are "imperfect" to say the least. British 'prostitute review' sites like 'Punternet' – as well as the male-led 'Hands off my whore' campaign in France – show what so-called clients think of the women they buy sex from.

A large proportion of prostitutes say they experience aggression while working, and nearly seven in ten suffer the symptoms of post-traumatic stress. The dynamic between buyers and sellers of sex ranges from the disrespectful to the downright abusive – but there’s almost always an inequality at play.

Of course, there'll always be some who say that prostitution is "the oldest trade" and that there's not much we can do about it. But this argument is as untrue as it’s depressing. In Sweden, for example, stopping the purchase of sex changes social attitudes, making men less likely to purchase sex and more likely to support prosecutions for others - and there’s no reason why this can’t happen in the UK. Amnesty need to aim much higher. We can do better, surely, than just make the exploitation of women better regulated.

The role of charities like Amnesty should be to lift standards up, not drive them down. Amnesty are supposed to be an ambitious organisation. They shouldn’t just shrug their shoulders and say "c’est la vie". Over the years they've done an indispensable job in ending exploitation, improving human rights, and reducing inequalities. Legalising prostitution runs counter to all these things. It has turned Germany into a "giant Teutonic brothel", as the Economist puts it - and, according to Equality Now, has "empowered pimps and traffickers" in Amsterdam.

Women at risk or in economic need require more opportunities and better protection – not to be told their only option is a demeaning last resort. For the sake of women and mothers everywhere I sincerely hope Amnesty will rethink their position.

OP posts:
BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 03/02/2014 19:58

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horsetowater · 03/02/2014 20:01

Good to see everyone so angry over on the webchat thread.

They'll probably come up with some trash about their libertarian roots.

horsetowater · 03/02/2014 20:04

Migsy were you raped before you started prostitution and do you think it had an influence? Can you see why the rest of us think what you are doing is really sad?

migsy86 · 03/02/2014 20:14

Yes I was gang raped as a young teen, which is why I find the comparison with rape very offensive and hurtful. It's had no influence on my choice of career.

horsetowater · 03/02/2014 20:19

That's awful. It's likely that that traumatic experience made you more able to switch off emotionally. Did you get counselling for it?

migsy86 · 03/02/2014 20:24

No i got no counselling. I think doing this job you can't get emotionally involved with clients. I don't see that as a bad thing though, it enables me to work more efficiently. I still very much choose to do this though.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 03/02/2014 20:26

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

migsy86 · 03/02/2014 20:33

I am attracted to hardly any of my clients. The majority of the are middle aged men who are old enough to be my dad. I see what I do as a job so I just focus on what I'm doing at the time, I don't tend to think about whether or not I actually like them.

horsetowater · 03/02/2014 20:42

Do think you would have ended up as a prostitute if you hadn't been gang raped? I mean do you think that made it somehow easier for you?

migsy86 · 03/02/2014 20:47

I really can't answer that because I don't know. All I know is that all that stuff has happened to me and this is where I am today.

horsetowater · 03/02/2014 21:01

I guess you have to decide whether it's where you want to be, where the young version of you would have wanted you to be. It might be that traumatic experience changed you.

The trouble is the longer you do this the more you normalise it and the more your mind will be telling you it's OK and justifying it. You are risking your health and your life to a ridiculous extent for the sake of some fast money.

Do you ever have 'time off' from it?

FloraFox · 03/02/2014 21:18

migsy it doesn't sound like you enjoy sex with these men who are unattractive and old enough to be your father. Feminists have fought against the idea that sex is something for women to endure. Sex in prostitution is far removed from any feminist concept of sex, it is the essence of women as a sex class, identified as either madonna or whore. This is not sexual liberation, it is sexual subordination.

Beachcomber · 03/02/2014 21:18

migsy86, this is none of my business and feel free to ignore if you don't want to answer, do you have a dream job? I know we all have to pay the rent, put food on the table, etc, but if you could do anything, do you have an idea what that would be?

I would love to earn a living from writing. But I don't so I do other work.

migsy86 · 03/02/2014 21:26

I do have a few days off a month yes. I've been in the industry since I was 19 and I'm in my mid 20's now. My dream job? I don't really have one. I'm not enduring sex with them. I can stop at any time. And I can also choose the sex acts I do with the clients, i'm in control of what I do.

FloraFox · 03/02/2014 21:36

You are young and you may be attractive. Do you think these women have control over what they do?

the-invisible-men.tumblr.com/

What do you think about these accounts?

If you have no sexual desire for the men, how are you not enduring the sex?

FloraFox · 03/02/2014 21:37

the-invisible-men.tumblr.com/

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 03/02/2014 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

migsy86 · 03/02/2014 21:44

I have children. I know women can work in this industry well into their 40's so I'm not too worried about the future.

I think a lot of the men on punter review accounts will tend to over egg what happened. I can't speak for women who may have had a bad experience with an a**hole. I've had a few shitty clients but it's just part of the job.

Beachcomber · 03/02/2014 21:55

Okay, maybe 'dream job' is a bit of a silly concept. Is there anything you would like to do but that isn't really accessible if you don't have the experience/qualifications required? Or a job that would be nice but that isn't realistic in financial terms? Don't want to bombard you with questions, so again feel free to ignore.

doublelife111 · 03/02/2014 23:23

I have a good professional part time job.I also escort part time.I decided to do it purely because for me it is ideal..I have always been fascinated by men,and preferred the company of and felt more comfortable with men.
I have also had a passion for sex since puberty..I'm extremely uninhibited sexually ..I find it a huge stress reliever..an escape from the monotony of everyday life.
I have always done sex work completely independently.
I love it,absolutely love it.I would choose not to do it as my only career though as I like to do it only with the type of men I am interested in,and only engage in sexual activity I know I am comfortable with.
I have found it incredibly empowering.
I don't see it as selling my body at all.That implies I am passive.
I sell my time and company and sexual skill and pleasure.

My clients are lovely with me.. caring,intelligent,clean and respectable.
They are also mostly married.I don't see myself as responsible for their unfaithfulness.
I also do not feel responsible for women drugged and forced into prostitution.
I feel thats like saying by engaging in any relationship with a man you are somehow encouraging other more vulnerable women to get into abusive relationships with abusive men.
The blame lies with drugs and trafficking and pimps etc.
Not with me and my clients who are both enjoying some harmless fun.
I feel what I do is offer a service that I enjoy while earning some money.
I do not agree with the idea of all men being at risk of prosecution for paying a woman for sex. Absolutely not.

horsetowater · 03/02/2014 23:43

But Migsy you were 19 when you started, when I was 19 I didn't know what planet I was on let alone what a good relationship with men was. I think you should give yourself another chance by trying something different - something with a future, and something that's safer. Now that you have a child surely it would be better to do something more mainstream?

horsetowater · 03/02/2014 23:51

doublelife all the things that describe your job are things you can do on a private level and get the same satisfaction from.

You can say all you like about being empowered, the simple fact is that you wouldn't be having sex with these people if you weren't being paid for it. That's more akin to being employed, not empowered.

And you can't deny that you are responsible for ruining someone's marriage if you are having sex with married men.

doublelife111 · 03/02/2014 23:59

Horsetowater..I can ,and do deny it.
They are lying and cheating.I am not.
I have found empowerment because these men like me and enjoy me so much,they pay me ...they choose me over thousands of other women..I get empowerment from the thank you emails and messages I receive telling me how much they got out of the experience and how good it made them feel.

doublelife111 · 04/02/2014 00:01

oh,and i have never been sexually abused or raped either.And hopefully never will.

horsetowater · 04/02/2014 00:05

You are colluding in their deceit. If you met their wife and they asked how you knew their husband would you tell them? Thought not.

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