Private school for a year

[TellMe3]

Has anyone done this? Because the funding isn't there for kids before they are 4?

My boy is definitely ready for school, he is a September born and therefore has another year before he goes to school.
I have been trying to tell myself he isn't ready because of the emotional challenges of having a 3 year old, however within the last 24 hours not only has his preschool teacher stressed "how ready he is for school" but also a friend with an August born saying how pleased she was that her child went to school when she did.

For context, my daughter, also a September child was described to me by her teachers in her first parents evening as a "high achiever", excelling in reading, and every other part of the list they sent us which she was "exceeding plus" which it appears is not the case for any other kids in her year. My daughter did not know her letters when she started school and was definitely less emotionally ready than my son. It appears she is being held back on her reading due to not enough kids being at the level she is at and therefore cannot have a reading group for her. Anyway, I digress.

My son is miles ahead where my daughter was at this age, even the age when my daughter started school. This is another year away for my son. He is already reading pink books and counts to 100 etc. He has been doing 100+ piece jigsaws independently since he turned 3. He is just very bright.

After seeing how my well mannered, rule abiding daughter is during her schooling it makes me very fearful for my more, boisterous, let's say, son. He isn't one to tolerate any shit, somehow has insane patience with what he cares about but also doesn't care for nonsense or things he knows already. His grandma is a French speaker and has been a brilliant influence on him and he is suddenly started spouting french to us in recent weeks, understanding the meaning also. Only basic stuff, but still, he is 3.

I'm becoming concerned that my boy, who, if he continues at this level of development and interest will be properly reading before starting school, that he will have zero interest in what the teachers have to say and will just cause absolute carnage. Because, let's be honest, boys are just different to girls.

Tonight I had an epiphany and wondered whether sending him to a local private school for a year would be a good idea? Has anyone done this? And sent them back to state school after the year? To start in year 1? Is this even a thing? Is it possible? I know the state won't fund an under aged child but would it be a problem moving him back to the year above after the year?

I'm sure I sound like a total dick here, saying how gifted and amazing this boy is but I quote honestly believe it to be true.

Anyway, any suggestions or experiences I'm really pleased to hear. If this is even a possibility I would speak to the head of our school and seek her opinion. A friend who is a reception teacher cannot believe this boy, but I don't want to come across as a pushy idiot by asking her directly for her opinion.

So here I am. Awaiting the bashing, in the hope a helpful comment is put forward.

Thanks!

He's 3? Keep him in playgroup/ nursery whatever he doesn't need school.

Lots of children can read before they start school and teachers in reception have plenty of experience dealing with kids of all different levels of ability and behaviour .

Is he went to private school for a year I believe he would still have to start in reception when returning to state as that would be his age group

Thank you @abovedecknotbelow
This is what I've been telling myself, however I am very concerned about when he starts school and him being disruptive because he is beyond the challenges he is faced with.
If my daughter wasn't being held back due to lack of reading groups I would absolutely do this but the concern is that if he starts so far ahead he will just be disruptive.
I don't want to push him into anything but can't help see how kids a few days older than him are in the year above and struggle yet he is completing tasks beyond his years.
Thank you for your input. Well received.

That's interesting. Thank you.

You can’t just plonk a kid in any year you want because it’s private school. It doesn’t work like that.

If he’s just to start school in Sept 2023 then that’s when he’ll start, private or otherwise!

And he’s 3! Work on his focus rather than writing him off to be disruptive!

@Floralnomad I think perhaps our school isn't used to very capable kids? Its a wonderful school. The pastoral care is outstanding, however the bright are not pushed or even kept on top of, from my experience.

due to start*

@Floralnomad I think perhaps our school isn't used to very capable kids? Its a wonderful school. The pastoral care is outstanding, however the bright are not pushed or even kept on top of, from my experience.

I think putting him into private school for a year would make the situation ten times worse. Firstly, because he'd almost certainly have to join state school in reception but would be even further ahead than he would be otherwise. Secondly, because his first taste of school would be in a private school with the small class sizes, great facilities etc., it would be hard for him to then enter the state system.

You could look into scholarships if you think he is extraordinarily bright.

I would say that the next year would be best spent working on things that he isn't good at though. It's about breadth. From your description it sounds like his behaviour needs some work. So maybe working with him on his behaviour, social skills and emotional maturity would be time well spent?

And please don't do your son the disservice of linking his behaviour to his sex, writing it off as boys will be boys. That's how bad men are raised.

So he turns 4 in September then. He may be ahead academically, but how is he socially with other children his age? That's pretty important too. So is learning to do as he is told by teachers, whether he wants to or not. He's not going to go far if he causes carnage in class and tolerates no shit from anybody.

No experience with starting a child early but did wonder if the local private school would take an underage child in reception? Don't 3/4 year olds need different staff ratios than those of reception age?

Are there any pre-preparatory schools joined to private schools locally? He would be the in the right age range and in my experience they deliver a much more school-like experience to nursery/pre-school, with a strong focus on phonics and maths. To give you an idea my DD starts reception in Sept, and has attended a pre-prep for 2 years. This past year she has had daily maths and phonics lessons, and weekly Spanish, dance and music lessons with specialist staff. She knows most of the phonics sounds, can reliably read and write CVC words and attempts many longer words, and can do addition and subtraction up to about 20, counts to about 200. She also does plenty of playing and crafts but loves learning too - often chooses to do writing and number activities at home too. Pre-preps usually still offer wrap around care and are often competitive to other childcare settings - some also accept 15/30 free hours entitlement.

You don't need to send him to school a year early - just find a really good pre-school. I sent my children to the pre-school attached to the local private school for a year and it was amazing. 10 children and 4 staff meant that the children could develop at their own speed and pursue the activities they enjoyed, whether that be advanced algebra or playing in the sandpit.

@takeitandleaveit he does find it a challenge with his friends. We were at a friend's house recently, he was doing a jigsaw, then his friend came and pulled it all apart. He cried a lot, it was late in the day and he had put lots of effort into it so to be honest I think his reaction was well justified I'm not sure how well I'd have dealt with that if I'd spent 15 mins outlining a jigsaw for someone to come and undo it all. I redirected him to a train set when the same friend saw the reactions when he wasn't able to complete a task and sat where the train set was to be built, repeatedly, he also cried, a lot. He is really into constructive play and has concentration levels which my far surpasses my daughter, who is praised by school for having "exceptional concentration skills".
Im just concerned that he won't cope as well with being held back, especially given he is beyond where she was a whole year later, when she actually started school.

I would spend your time working on his social skills if he is that “boisterous’ and disruptive. I am not sure a private school will take him - other than for pre-prep anyway.

@quickbathroombreak wow! Well, we certainly aren't at that level. That sounds amazing! Are you confident the school you will send her to can cope with such a high achiever? I'm less concerned by the preschool than I am with the school once he gets there. The preschool he goes to is attached to the school. Both are wonderful! I am just realising that for a very capable child they won't have the resources to stretch him as the aren't for my daughter.

Reception deals with DC at all stages and caters to them all.

My DS could read and write and do maths etc when he started in reception.
The teachers catered to him very well throughout his time at primary.

He had a fantastic all round state education including music, art and drama which are not his thing at all as he's very maths and science orientated but it gave him a fully rounded education. He did have the coolest teachers though so was very lucky.

And he needs to learn that when he's at a friends house he should be playing with that friend and not be doing a puzzle on his own there which is a bit odd.

@Splicebaked that's interesting. Perhaps our setting isn't quite right then if the norm is to cater to individual needs. Thank you.

He's three. In many countries children don't start school until they are six. Focus on playing and socialising. He'll be studying for the next eighteen years or more.

If you really want to challenge him, teach him a musical instrument, encourage him to play with lego - how to build bridges so they don't collapse, grow vegetables, paper mache models of the solar planet etc . There are tonnes of educational play activities you can do with him instead of sending him to a formal classroom setting focusing on reading and writing.

If you put him in a private school to stretch him for a year and then put him into reception you'll be just as worried next year. And then you'll be trying to find the monetto keep him private ad feeling guilty about leaving your dd in state. As other posts have said, an extra year of learning to be one of a group won't hurt. There's plenty of time for them to grow and shine in a good state school.
My dc is a September born high achiever and I contemplated seeing if I could push them up a year. I didn't. I think it was the right decision. KS1j wasn't great. KS2 was better and a really good secondary has been great.

I would spend the next year working on his social school and forget the academic side for a moment. While it’s lovely that he’s bright, it won’t lead to anything for him if he isn’t able to play with children his own age appropriately and is difficult in a classroom setting.

Oh geez. I’m worried for the future of your kid. If he’s having this much pressure on him at 3 I dread to think what it will be like for him when he is 16/18 and doing exams. Your expectations of him are what you need to be working on. You are setting him up for mental health problems already.

He's 3,no school wil take him a year early it doesn't work like that.

Private school won’t put a 3 year old in reception? Ours wouldn’t anyway…