Do you ever wonder what it's like to have a normal child?

[RoboJesus]

I always imagined having a normal child and I've been thinking a lot about it lately. Having a gifted child definitely changes things. Obviously I love my child perfectly as they are though. Does anyone get what I mean?

Hoping one day OP will share with us just in what way their toddler who should be in secondary school is so profoundly gifted!

Normal for children is a ridiculous term, they're all different and develop differently.

I agree that the use of the word “normal” isn’t appropriate but a look at the list I posted earlier would give curious minds some idea of what she’s dealing with.

But she may not be dealing with anything of the sort, that’s the point.

My dd1 was labelled g and t ... I have no idea what you're talking about. She is " normal".... gifted with language and reading but sometimes annoying sometimes lovely, always love her. They aren't a different breed you know. And whilst labelled gifted because she could read and write at 3 she has a " normal " friend who got better a level results than her and who is apparently much harder work emotionally and always has been. Not sure what your definition of normal is tbh. Is there such a thing?

Iwasjustabouttosaythat, the thing is, we don't need to know how gifted OP's dc is, but we need to know what kind of difficulty she or her dc is having, and what kind of advice/support she is looking for.
Otherwise it's pointless posting similar thread numerous times with similar scenario and ending. People here are generally helpful if the OP is sincere.

People are just getting fed up. I am inclined to think this OP isn't interested in getting support here.

Gosh, imagine having a child that was ordinary?

That would be (in the words of the immortal SGB) so mundane, wouldn't it?

Thankfully I'll never know though...

Not “bright” children, not “very happy” children, just gifted children as in IQ140+. This brings with it issues that parents of “bright” children don’t understand

Is there any evidence that having an IQ of 140+ brings with it a special set of problems? In other words, that it's the IQ that brings the problems? Or is that just something we are expected to accept without argument because it is the experience of some posters.

Or in reverse, might it not be the case that exactly the same problems (of getting bored easily or struggling to integrate socially) are also found in some children with a lower IQ?

I have a child who is a talented actress. She also suffers from joint pains. Does that mean that all children with acting talents suffer from joint pains. Perhaps that a child who does not suffer from joint pains can't possibly have any acting talent?

I would be very wary of entering on any kind of potentially self-fulfilling prophecy of "my child is so gifted that he is bound to have a difficult path". I have seen children who have been exposed to that attitude and it hasn't ended happily.

By all means help your child and get them support with any difficulty they have proved that they have, but don't prophesy for the future and above all, don't link it to their giftedness. Don't make them feel it is their giftedness that makes them struggle around ordinary people and that they have to struggle because it is the sign that they are special. The misunderstood lonely genius is seldom a happy person- and ime they don't tend to do terribly well when it comes to advanced academic work either.

I agree Cory. It’s not having a high IQ that causes problems. Obviously a lot of those kids have no trouble at all. On the other hand, you take a sensitive child (as these children tend to be extremely moralistic and perfectionists) and try to make them make friends with kids who think squashing bugs and yelling “die” is a good time, well, why would they want to make friends with children like that? And then you add into the mix that no other children see a problem with this and think it’s hilarious and the child feels confused and different. Then add into the mix their teacher saying loudly in front of them that there’s something wrong with them because they’re not socialising like the other kids, well, doesn’t make for a well adjusted child. And these kids don’t go home and forget about it. They have incredible memories and really take things to heart. There are tonnes of studies online about this stuff that show how common these situations are.

Meanwhile, if you put a gifted kid with a supportive home in a situation where they happen to meet a like-minded friend straight off, where the other children are gentle (or not bug killers at least), where the teachers give them the extra work they require to keep them interested rather than putting them in the too-hard basket, the kid will be ok.

I just don’t see why it’s so hard for some people to accept that the OP might be having a hard time.

Op’s child is under two, apparently. And your post is ridiculously simplistic, Iwasjustabouttosaythat. Implying that any child labelled “gifted” will be the sole beacon of enlightenment and sophistication in a sea of barbarians, in any situation they may find themselves in.
Squishing bugs and yelling die, indeed

I've just had a Google and realised that I am gifted . Maybe even profoundly gifted . My iq has been measured 3 times ( once by proper child psychologist as a teenager) and twice on stupid online tests and has come out every time at 140. And my Richmond tests at school were always 130+ across the board. And those scores are what are used to define genius/ gifted. This is why I feel confident to call it all a load of bullshit. I'm not a genius. I'm thick as shit sometimes. I got average GCSE results and failed my a levels. I found school a struggle but am a competent musician and have found satisfying work in that field. I find many clever books a struggle to read. I think a lot of people will be disappointed when they discover how irrelevant iq / giftedness actually is to success in life.

On the other hand, you take a sensitive child (as these children tend to be extremely moralistic and perfectionists) and try to make them make friends with kids who think squashing bugs and yelling “die” is a good time, well, why would they want to make friends with children like that?

Sorry, but this was exactly the kind of stereotype I was criticising.

Ime (large extended family of various degrees of giftedness/non-giftedness + lifetime of teaching HE), I see absolutely no evidence of a direct correlation between moral rectitude/perfectionism/sensitivity and IQ.

Noone in my family ever stamped on a bug for fun but that's because we are generally kindly people, regardless of individual giftedness, and have been brought up to behave.

Otoh I have seen highly intelligent people capable of extreme cruelty, and indeed capable of exactly the kind of stamping-on-a-bug-for-fun type of cruelty.

And known many children (and adults) who were not intelligent but both kindly and high-principled.

Have also known some highly intelligent people who were nice but with a tendency towards rule-breaking.

And some who were anything but perfectionists.

Oh and just to add, I'm incredibly normal and have never struggled to socialise with peers, colleagues etc. Probably because my mother wasn't aspirational or pretentious enough to believe my iq made me different to anyone else.

Sorry, do all lower iq kids squash bugs?? What a load of smug superior bullshit!!! Unbelievable.

I have 2DC with high functioning ASD. I thank my lucky stars every single day that my DC can talk, read, count, write, run, toilet themselves and play with their toys. It breaks my heart when I see the other DC in their program who are struggling with verbal skills and eating while skills such as reading are not even in their immediate future, if at all.

Be thankful for what you have and support those who are worse off than you.

Op if pp is correct and you have decided your not yet 2 year old is profoundly gifted I'm genuinely interested in how you know this?

The eldest can fit a whole boiled egg in his mouth, and the youngest can lick his own nostril though, so perhaps mine are gifted too, so I just don't know

Those are the sort of gifts I can relate two. One of mine could put his toes into his mouth until he was well into his twenties (not sure why he wanted to, though).

Schadenfreue my mother can lick her nostrils, has several degrees and good reading skills in c 20 languages so surely that just proves it: this is what gifted people are like!

Non-nose-lickers need not apply. Your chances of ever getting anywhere with those medieval manuscripts in Old Church Slavonic are negligible.

( the fact that, like many of my family, she almost certainly has Ehlers Danlos syndrome is, of course, neither here nor there)

Op if pp is correct and you have decided your not yet 2 year old is profoundly gifted I'm genuinely interested in how you know this?

I'd love to know, too Bauble - surely it is too early to assess the extent of giftedness, even if it is obvious that the child is doing some things ahead of his.her peers.

I also struggle with the term "profoundly" gifted, but I accept that this is purely a linguistic thing in that "profound" often is attached to negative qualities/conditions eg profoundly deaf, profoundly ignorant. I can cope with "incredibly" gifted, or "outstandingly" or "highly" - "profoundly" just sounds wring (though I daresay it is an official expression).

I hate to think that my parents thought me abnormal

My DD has Marfan Syndrome, cory, but has more sense than her allegedly unaffected brother, and leaves her toes on the ends of her feet, where nature intended.

Why are people saying I have a 2 year old? That's a weird thing to make up. I have a tested 4½ year old... The prejudice against gifted children on here is just shocking to say the least. This isn't a thread to determine if my child is gifted or their level of giftedness. That was determined by the professionals. There's a recent thread someone else posted for that. Go there if that's what you want.

I have 3dds and the differences between their development is huge. Dd1 didn't speak beyond mum or dad until 2 years old but could do jigsaws at 1 and could read and write at 3. Dds2 and 3 are 19 mo twins and I'd say dd3 or twin 2 is advanced, had many words at 1 and now speaks in short sentences and asks questions and has an astounding vocabulary and counts etc. I'd hesitate to call her gifted though as she still tries to ram a triangle block through the circular hole in the shape puzzle and pushes spaghetti up her nose !

Sorry op just read your update. So your dc is 4 and a half that does make more sense. I don't think that people are against gifted kids, just maybe against labelling and angsting over kids development. Genuinely, what prompted you getting your dc tested? If you're willing to share that is.

Apologies, op. I must have misunderstood. That’s what comes of not engaging in your own threads; what little response you do make is vague in the extreme.

In my own defence, you usually refer to your child as a “tot”.