Do you ever wonder what it's like to have a normal child?

[RoboJesus]

I always imagined having a normal child and I've been thinking a lot about it lately. Having a gifted child definitely changes things. Obviously I love my child perfectly as they are though. Does anyone get what I mean?

No I don’t either.

Robo - I’ve just read this thread and have no idea about G&T. Why is your four year old gifted and why test them? Surely most children are great at some things and less so at others - that’s normal?

I have a 4 yr old that I suppose I could saddle with a “Extra Intelligent” label or what have you. A close personal friend administers the testing in her line of work and she has told me unofficially that my DD far outperforms her age group. But 3-4-5 is so tiny! A profoundly gifted preschooler may well be an average-bright child when their peers begin catching up in a few years. I will never have DD formally tested nor will I place on her the burden of my expectations.

I myself was a bit of a wonder child at three. I even skipped several years in school. I assure you, other than one specific and not very useful talent, I’m a perfectly normal and average adult. There’s still hope for your DC!

I agree with Armadillo

OP, your 4 year old may be gifted now, but there is a risk it is just precociousness. IME other children do catch up. Personality traits count for a lot. Giftedness in itself is not a reliable indicator of success in later life.

I guess it is your lot in life to struggle with a gifted child, just like I did with a bad sleeper, and still end up no better (or worse) than other parents.

Having read and re-read your OP, I'm just wondering what you imagined a normal child might be like, that your child is not like?

And I was wondering what aspects have definitely changed now you have a gifted child? You say it definitely changes things, but I wondered what.

A nursery asked your child to scribble? Are you sure about that? As an EYFS teacher I have never heard of another teacher asking a child to scribble!

I refuse to believe that a child was asked to scribble when they could draw a picture.

Maybe they were assessing his ability to follow a simple instruction. He appears to have failed.

Yeah I think the referral was mostly motivated by that. It was the first thing they'd ever tried to assess them on. Have you ever tried to draw with crayons?

The ability to draw a figure and place body parts appropriately is one developmental test. Most children pass. It doesn’t confer genius on them.
Achievements are good for all children unless they’ve been labelled and pushed from a young age. Believe me, drawing five fingers on a hand will not stand them in good stead at 18. Being sociable, polite, hardworking, empathetic and interested In he world will be far, far more useful.

I remember very well my children’s assessment drawing bodies with a crayon. They all scored very highly. They could all read before starting school. All had pretty good academic results. They are beautifully normal - if a little quirky and old fashioned.

@CherryPavlova Yeah, no I think you read that wrong that wasn't part of the full scale assessment

Crayons are great tool for small hands of young children with under developed fine motor skills. You can draw perfectly well, even a fine lines if you sharpen it. It creates great effect. It's not just for scribble. And certainly not just for kids.

What does that even mean, zzzz? Nobody “aspires” to be average, although obviously some undoubtedly are.

The problem with your post OP is that people who are extremely clever and/or who have extremely clever kids tend not to make a huge song and dance about it, it's just who they are...

It's a bit like the difference people who aspire to be rich and are desperate for people to know this through showing off material possessions and people who really are rich but wear the same jumper everyday and drive around in a knackered old Volvo.

*difference between

OP, are you in the UK?

@Iwasjustabouttosaythat yep

But that’s exactly the problem: we’re not here to debate whether her child is gifted. She is clearly looking for support from other parents of gifted children. Not “bright” children, not “very happy” children, just gifted children as in IQ140+. This brings with it issues that parents of “bright” children don’t understand.

But that's just the point. Some of us do have "gifted" children (and yes, in the IQ140+ range), and some of us have been those children too, but we still don't necessarily understand what issues the OP is experiencing. So how can we possibly help?

Gifted children aren't one homogenous group with all the same issues. So how on earth are we supposed to know what difficulties the OP is encountering?

OP, if you have a look around you might be able to find a G&T playgroup in your area. I think those parents will be really helpful and understanding.

So how on earth are we supposed to know what difficulties the OP is encountering?

That’s fair enough. Constantly asking why she thinks her child is so great, screaming at her that she’s “smug”, and talking about how brilliant and trouble free you and your children are is not asking, “what are you finding difficult, OP?”

She hasn’t told you either...

I don’t need to ask. As I said earlier in the thread, I find these kids fascinating.

Haha, I went to a G&T playgroup with dd when she was little, at the recommendation of her nursery. Something to do with NAGC or whatever it was called back in those days - think they call themselves Potential Plus now, or something like that. I found it horrendous, full of terribly pushy and competitive parents who were desperate to talk about how brilliant their children were. Not my scene at all.

Some "gifted" children struggle with friendships, just like many other non-gifted kids. I do find that there is a tendency among the parents of some of the "gifted" children to assume that the friendship issues are an inevitable consequence of being "gifted", rather than the result of poorly developed social skills. In my experience, these parents often tend to congregate around the G&T meet-ups. I can't help feeling that they might be better off encouraging their dc to interact effectively with a wider range of people.

I get what you're saying about asking the OP what she is struggling with, Iwas, but I am less than convinced that the OP is actually here for support as she hasn't really been willing to talk about her child in any detail or the difficulties that she is facing. If she did, I'd be all up for helping out. However, it seems to me that the purpose of this thread is just to boast about how abnormally clever her ds is. And he may indeed be abnormally clever, but that only needs to be presented as a problem if it actually is a problem.

full of terribly pushy and competitive parents who were desperate to talk about how brilliant their children were

I think this is part of the problem. There are much milder parents of G&T kids and they don’t necessarily want to sit down with “tiger mums” for an hour. On the other hand, they mention their child’s skills to others and they’re called “smug”.

I think it would be nice for OP to share some of her troubles but I can also see why she wouldn’t want to because she’ll just be told she’s a crap parent “because my smart kid never had any trouble”.