What do you do if hypersensitive DC can't ignore your DC who feeds off negative attention?

[EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck]

I've posted here because I've read that her intelligence could be the reason she finds it so difficult to ignore him.

It seems unfair to ask her to ignore him when she finds it impossible, but how else can I improve his behaviour? Should I teach her to love bomb him?

Yes zzzzz, they both do. They're both exhausted after school. The worst evenings are the ones with homework, DD's okay, but DS2's just too tired to do it. He slept for 12.5 hours last night, I had to wake him up for school, which is unheard of.

Yes GP's can make a referral to OT and in some areas you can refer yourself.It sounds like both dc are finding school stressful if they both flop and are irritable after school tbh.
I'm not sure isolation and screens are the answer though. We had a trampoline that ds used to bounce out the stress, and dd has a dog that she walks and trains and plays with. Sometimes doing something physical seems to be the answer here probably something to do with releasing endorphins.

Oh my God, those punishments are insane. I have a naughty six year-old and that is crazy. And if he's regularly winding up how sister he must hardly ever have to, tablet or space to play. And you don't take him out to run around after school, so what is he actually doing?

Mostly at the weekends zzzzz, the hour before bed, and telling stories and laughing can happen in the morning when everyone's ready.

We don't have room for a trampoline or a dog.

Most days he has screens morning and evening, or a book, or Lego. The only reason there's no space to play is because the TV room's so tiny, and I need to keep them separate if he's winding her up deliberately. I can't trust him alone in their bedroom, anyway, that's DD's sanctuary away from the stimuli of school.

That's a good idea, Ridiculous, it depends how anxious she gets about being away from me. I'll talk to her this afternoon.

Have you asked at school for support with managing your children at home.Around here schools offer courses regularly to parents who might be struggling and can make referrals to other sources of support.
Untilyo wrote what happens to ds I thought he was getting away with winding up his sister but your idea of positive attention and no consequences are a mile away from mine if I'm honest.
How is being made to sit in a room with nothing positive attention and no consequences? Mine had consequences but they lasted probably minutes not for hours and carried on for a week.
Think about ds why would he bother to be kind to dd when every transgression lands him in solitary for a week? Why wouldn't dd scream at her brother annoying her when she knows full well that doing that gets her the room to play in by herself and her brother in isolation.
Dc need a reason to behave well and you aren't giving either dc a reason tbh.

Here’s a novel idea. The next time you’re taking them both out. Warn your 10 yr old that the second she screams, cries or runs away you’re taking her home and she can miss out on the treat instead of severely punishing a 6 yr old for being an annoying little brother.

My 10 yr old has asd and he knows better than to go on like your daughter does. Make allowances by all means but she doesn’t get it all her own way. Reading how you describe and your opinion of your young child and how he’s treated is really upsetting. It’s pretty obvious to why he’s acting up. Please seek some outside help or do some parenting courses.... something!

fleshmarket where did I say no consequences? I said that any consequences seem to make things worse.

If my ds is winding dd up on way to school I warn him that he'll be punished if he doesn't stop (usual punishments are loss of TV/Playstation time for whatever number of days) and then I distract him by changing the subject and engaging him in a game or conversation.

The best thing to do though is pre empt any winding up attempts by engaging him to begin with, rather than waiting for him to get bored/want attention and then be naughty. In my situation, school runs aren't really a problem as we're usually in a massive rush to get there on time they walk apart anyway.

It's rainy days indoors that's our issue. But as I said before, engage him (both of them separately when you can so they feel they get adequate attention), encourage him to entertain himself sometimes, give him jobs to do to keep the boredom at bay and when they do play nicely together without arguments (rare but occasional occurrence in our house!) praise them both for cooperating, maybe give them a little treat for being good together.

Alot of this is just normal annoying little brother stuff and to an extent big sis needs to learn a bit of resilience sometimes. But he does need pulling up on it when it gets too much.

He's not made to sit in a room with nothing. He goes in there anyway and flops. He has books, Lego, small toys, it's just that there's not much floor space. He tends to flop on the sofa and look at books anyway after school, as he's tired. If he hasn't wound DD up, he'll get TV or the tablet. He gets my undivided attention after school, he's not very communicative though, as he's exhausted.

I'll try that zzzzz, thanks. 😀

Also don't discount that dd can be manipulative, mine certainly is sometimes. She has been known to tell tales and over react to very minor transgressions from ds who sometimes just wants to play with his sister. Again, normal sibling stuff.

DD has only just started doing that, and only around my DM.

Is it just you? Is there a dp or dh?

I don't think that's enough exercise personally. Perhaps your little boy would enjoy swimming or football out of school?

I don't think it's normal for a 6 year old to be so exhausted that all he wantst to do is flop

Yes, I think that's unusual. My six year-old sleeps ten hours a night, does two sports outside of school, plays outside on his bike after school, as well as having gym daily at school and walking there and back and he comes home from school and (v irritatingly) says, what are we going to do? What can I do now? Is it new that he's been so tired? Do you have carbon monitors?

We are talking about a 6 year old who sounds as though he could do with some running around/team sports. Even though I'm 50 and overweight and permanently knackered after a day at work, I go to the gym or swimming! My kids had boundless energy at 6!

My child doesn't have boundless energy. I'd put him in the lower half of energy for his peer group! They like a brief rest when they get in, but then they like to do stuff again. I don't know any six year-olds who just want to lie on the sofa and look at books after school, then sleep for 12.5 hours. I'd be a bit concerned about it.

Oh don't be silly zzzz

I have a DH.

No, it's not new. He's been this tired since he started nursery at 3.5.

We have carbon monitors. 3 afternoons a week we're late home. Singing group for DD, when we go to the park for 45 minutes, art club for DS2, and play scheme.