Gifted toddler... But!

[TabithaTwitchEye]

My DD is three at the very end of October. She's "gifted" (in the traditional sense). However, she refuses to potty train. She absolutely, categorically have none of it.

Has anyone experienced this?! We've stopped again because she will just hold it in (I'm talking 8:30 am til 4:30pm - poor girl must be in agony, but she will not wee on the potty or toilet!)

In what sense is she gifted?

What's gifted in the "traditional sense"?

As in all parents believe their child is gifted ;)?

Potty training not much you can do until she's ready to co-operate. Have you tried chocolate for a wee on the toilet?

Giftedness is not related to the ability to toilet train.

Can you ask her what she's unhappy about and why she holds it in?

Flogging Molly- in the "traditional sense". Did you not read the o/p?

You're not very gifted are you ;)

My DD was exactly the same.

Giftedness has nothing to do with it really (although if it's a sign of intelligence maybe I'll be happy about it). Stubbornness, on the other hand

We kept giving up (because the withholding to the point of pain was no good for anyone). Decided to wait for her to want to wear knickers.

Didn't work.

Eventually went cold turkey at the start of the summer holidays at the grand old age of 3.10. Day one was hideous: she held out for over ten hours. Whenever we sat her on the toilet she just said "I don't want to. I really really don't want to". In the end I got cross and said she would have to sit there until she did a wee. Eventually managed a small wee - but not a whole bladder's worth I'm sure.

Day two, she held out until about 3pm. Then decided to give up on the psychological warfare, and she's been great ever since. Well, apart from going to the toilet away from home. She'd rather use a potty at a restaurant table than go to the toilets - obviously we don't let her!

How long have you been trying to potty train her? If this is early days you could persevere a bit longer. Otherwise, put her back in nappies and try again in a couple of months. Is she drinking plenty of water?

So she's still 2? Plenty of time yet. Her intelligence has no bearing on potty training though.

A "gifted" 2 year old? Has she joined Mensa?

She's reading at above Year 1 level, is writing and can do basic arithmetic.

I posted this specifically in G&T because it didn't want people accusing me of goodness knows what.

My concern is that I have a bright child, who is refusing point blank to wee anywhere but get nappy.

I say "In the traditional sense" because her talents lie in reading/writing and numbers, though I know lots of children have prodigious skills in other areas

So what does she say about it when you ask her?

Lol. I suggest you post in potty training with your request for potty help...

I have posted in potty training. I got no help whatsoever. "Lol"

I'm not sure giftedness has anything to do with it tbh.

You might be better off posting in behaviour and development where lots and lots of people who have had exactly the same problem. Refusal to potty train is just very common.

2 and reading at above year 1 level?

How long have you been trying to potty train her. My daughter is the same age ; she is perfectly bright but certainly not gifted in the way you describe your daughter. She did potty train last April though. I have never thought to correlate her intelligence with her ability to use a toilet though. I think you should forget whether she is clever and just concentrate on the basics of potty training- they're not related.

It's great that she's clever but I don't think that relates to potty training. Maybe she's not ready yet?

Hi Tabitha, your DD sounds very bright but agree that is probably unrelated to her potty problems.
What have you tried so far? Sticker charts? Rewards etc?
What does she say when you ask her why she won't use the potty?

Gosh I didn't know we had a potty training topic!

Clearly, she's witholding, what's harder to know is why. I think sometimes there's a reason for this (fear, a certain event,dislike of certain sensations, anxiety around change) and sometimes it's just new and they take some time to feel confident with it.

Does she express herself well? Can she tell you what worries her beyond "I don't want to do it". My dd was 17 months when she was clean and dry day and night, no fuss, just decided that was it. Her little brother was just over 2 and clearly ready, dry nappy overnight, able to hold his wee all day if necessary. He just would not, absolutely would NOT go nappy free. We put no pressure on him at all, made sure he knew where his pants were and gently asked each morning whether it was a nappy day or a pants day. One day, around a month after asking, it was a pants day and we never had a nappy day again. He was clean and dry immediately, day and night and in 2 years has not had a single accident.

Just because a child is advanced in one area, this does not mean that they are advanced in all the others as well. In fact it is perfectly normal for them to be like this.

So, what you have is not a gifted child with a potty training problem, you have a child with a potty training problem.

I would sit her down and say she was going to get a sticker every time she did a wee in the potty, and once she had got 10 stickers she would get a small present of her choice.

Then I would present her with a box all wrapped up nicely with a fancy potty training kit in there, for example:

www.bambinomio.com/shop/en/our-products/bambino-mio-potty-training/potty-training-bundle.html

www.kandookids.com/kandoo-potty-training-toolkit/

www.amazon.com/Ginsey-Sesame-Street-Training-Rewards/dp/B003I7B9IY

She can be allowed to read this book while she is doing the deed.

www.amazon.co.uk/Princess-Pollys-Potty-Ladybird-training/dp/1409302199/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

Perhaps treat her to an outrageous potty. This one is appallingly brilliant in its ability to accommodate an iPad! DS3 had a great frog potty he particularly liked.

www.google.co.uk/shopping/product/742297189510217851?q=unusual+potties&client=safari&rls=en&biw=1264&bih=765&bav=on.2,or.&bvm=bv.102022582,d.d24&tch=1&ech=1&psi=HeHxVcPmNomuUbaxk4AN.1441915166556.5&prds=paur:ClkAsKraX7nnpWJPEMN4HsF66KigSskBAu9dBZW1SmFdJXcGfxqSZaghkzFoY_V9Ewztjqp44Ete_PVXvCImThba3SDLYCrI0bskE0fiZw9MpDw9tO-s37YQSBIZAFPVH70r-_2OhBNtKTHMGx7vE-BDDi6L0g&ved=0CDIQpis4FGoVChMImPyK6qDtxwIVTFgUCh0qQQ8z&ei=YeHxVdjHAcywUaqCvZgD

Ok , so you have Im sorry for being facetious.

I would suggest persevering. Or perhaps loose bribery - such as "let's go to the park", OK wee wee first.

My 3yo has has the bladder of a camel and sometimes does her first wee of the day at lunchtime - she has always done it since she came out of nappies at 20mo.

Alternatively leave nappy off at nap/sleep. She will def do a wee then! Or in the car :)

I dont think there is much link to giftedness in reading age or age to potty train?
Anyway, why not just wait a bit longer if she doesnt want to? Can she recognise when she is going to wee?

I don't think there is a link between academic ability and potty training, or any other toddler age milestone. Except for the fact it can lead to expecting maturity on the same level as ability, which at toddler age is usually a mistake. Just drop the pressure, leave it a few weeks, and try again in an age appropriate way.

Just leave it. Sooner or later she'll do it by herself. The more you go in about it the more she'll dig her heels in. Just say "OK- you know where the loo is- when you 're ready to use it let me know." And carry on with nappies without further comment.

Not worth a moment's angst, potty training, in my opinion.

I liked the idea of politely enquiring whether today is a pants day. That is genius.