Going up a year, any experience of this?

[SirVixofVixHall]

My dd isn't madly happy at Primary and it has been suggested by a few different people that she might be happier going up to high school a year early. She is 9 now, ten soon, year 5. I think we have thought of most of the major points, but we are having a chat with the two heads next week, so do any of you have experience of this? Would be helpful to know the pros and cons really.

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I think at this age friendships are so important. She would either be unhappy at primary or the odd one out in Secondary. I would hang on and not push her up a year, since "not madly happy" doesn't sound like an emergency.

Probably fine academically but socially it can be a complete disaster. I would consider a different primary school instead.

The transition to secondary is big enough and requires a jump in maturity for the 11 yr olds that go up. I think 10 is too young to go to Secondary tbh.

When is her birthday. There can be just a day between children in different year groups.

It is very unusual for this to happen and even more so because a child is unhappy (on the rare occasions I have heard of it it has been because the child is consistently outperforming their peers). I also thought most schools are very set against having children out of their natural yeargroup, but as you have got as far as a meeting with the heads it is clearly something they will at least consider.

The missed shared experiences of y6 (even the less pleasant ones like SATs) and the feeling that she is "different" from the others in the year will not make it easy for her to settle in and I would imagine are not really what someone wwho is already unhappy needs. By all means listen to the heads' perspectives and see how they would prppse helping your daughter to cope with the experience but I would want to focus more on helping to improve her experience in her current school. Good luck with it, I can imagine how stressful a decision like this must be.

Different country but I was up a year and never had any issue at all with it, socially it otherwise.
I have been td that my dc1 would fit right in a year ahead birth academically and socially (very mature child). He is currently Y6.

Now having looked at it a few years ago, I had been told at that time they if he was moved a year ahead, he would then have to redo Y6 as secondary wouldn't accept him a year ahead.
But a few weeks ago, I've heard that a child in secondary had been moved a year ahead and another teacher in secondary said that actually it's possible to do it and maybe I should look into it next year when he has moved to secondary.

Bottom line is:

• you need to be sure that your dd will be able to move to secondary with her year ahead.
• you want to be sure she is mature enough.
• if teacher/HT are proposing that, I would expect them to have a clear idea on whether your dd will fit in better than in her current class
• BUT I would also check that they aren't proposing that because they can't cope with her at her level in the middle of a 'normal' class rub the gap between her and the others is too big and teacher doesn't manage.

I went to an independent grammar school and passed the entrance exam a year early. HT spoke to my parents to ask if they thought I could handle it (in terms if being mature enough) - they thought so . I wasn't loving primary school either, was reasonably ahead of my peers and not being stretched so we went for it. I was in a class with girls who turned 12 in the sept whilst I wasn't 11 til Dec. It didn't matter a jot.

It was the best decision ever, I made fantastic new friends who I am still very close to over 20 years later - never felt "odd one out" or "social disaster" - lost touch with primary school friends almost immediately but that had happened once the decision to move was made and I have no regrets. Academically it worked out well too - I more than kept up with my peers despite the age difference, and was in the top 25% of the year group in all subjects, gained a uni place at Durham at age 17, got a good graduate job at age 20.

Every case is different and you know your own child best but just wanted to give a slightly different perspective to the other posters. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

She is outperforming her peers yes. That is a big part of her unhappiness, also all her friends are out of school really. She has a couple of friends in her class, one is a boy and he won't play with her in school as he gets teased. The other is a year 6 girl as her class is mixed year 5 and 6 together (small school). We don't have SATs here. She had some assessments recently and the assessor thought she should be being taught a year ahead in all subjects and because of this and the fact that she is quite socially mature, she might be best off going up. The high school had one girl who has just done GCSEs who went up a year, and she got absolute star marks so they are comfortable with the idea but the Head wants to meet Dd and us. We met with the G+T people at the school who taked to Dd and felt she was mature enough to handle it. She will be ten in a few weeks, so she isn't the younger end of her year group. It was suggested she went up a year at age 5, partly because she was terribly unhappy in her class, combined with her work, but we changed schools instead.
The assessor suggested we would be putting her in with her true peers rather that taking her away from them, and I can see that could be true of her. She is tall too, and generally seems like an older child in many ways. However, i am worried about the pressure to have a boyfriend too young, that kind of thing, and although dd really wants to go, she is worried about doing her exams a year early. Berberana, thanks for adding your personal experience, and thanks for all the other posters so far as it helps to have all perspectives, negatives as much as positives, as it is a big decision and will take a lot of weighing up.

I did this. Straight into mostly top sets at a local state school. Was no issue at all, she will make new friends at secondary school anyway. It gave me a "spare year" which I used to get into dental school after doing a year of another degree.

Best thing my parents did for me Altho I couldn't get a student loan at 17!

If I understand well she is in Y5 so would move to Y6 and will have all the shared experience if the SATS etc. so I wouldn't be worried about that.

I'm not do sure why people in the uk are so against moving children up. Ime it can help a lot children who don't fit in because they are more mature + more able. It's actually hard when you have people around you that are being childish and you want to talk about serious and interesting stuff. It can make it hard to fit in too.

If she is already in a mixed year group then really this isn't an issue!! You and her teacher will know what kind of children she us getting on with and chances are that it's the older ones, the Y6 ones.
Once in secondary, the fact she has move a year won't be as noticeable anyway.

I was given student loans without parental guarantees or ratification in the early 90s. (I never understood how this was possible, as surely I was too young to be taking on the debt.)

Now student finance will give loans to under 18s, but parents need to act as a guarantor until you are 18.

I hadn't even thought about loans.... Although a friend mentioned that if she went into higher education at 17 she wouldn't be able to drink in pubs etc. I think maybe she could do a gap year, if it comes to that? I have one friend who was put up a year in the 70s, she was then moved down again as she wasn't happy, but feels it was largely because she is only a couple of days off the year below her anyway, so she was almost two years younger than many in her class when she went up. The High school have had a few pupils do it in the past, the one I mentioned and a few others, so at least they have some experience in supporting children who go through the process. Physically dd looks like an older child, so she won't stand out too much in that way, and although she is being a stroppy madam at home lately, she is quite mature for her age when out and about. She is a mix of a 16 year old, caring, thoughtful and responsible, and a stroppy 12 year old hormonal beast at the moment. But she is very confident with adults and so frustrated and fed up at primary that she seems more like a year 6 child than a year 5 one, just going by the others in her class. I do worry, as she has had some bullying issues (not too bad at the moment, but not great last term) that if her classmates know she is going up the year 5s will be mean to her and the year 6s not accept her. Not sure how we would handle the shift. Also one of her closest out-of-school friends would be in the year below her rather than in with her, which seems a shame. She does have friends who would be in her year though, and she would be jumping from a pretty small (120) Primary to a pretty huge secondary, (about 1,000) which would give her lots of options for new friends. (Although also be rather daunting). What are the biggest cons do you think?

Biggest con is probably not going up with her friends although from what you say this isn't a huge issue.

My DD went up to secondary school shortly after her 10th birthday (we are not in the UK) and honestly you'd never know she was a year younger. It helps that she is physically and emotionally mature for her age, and very confident and independent. On the other hand, for a very bright child my experience is that a single year of acceleration makes very little different academically. She is still rather unchallenged.

Mistigri- That is interesting that she is still unchallenged. I am worried about that, but at the recent High school open day, I was very impressed with their G+T department. (Now all I can think of is tonic water and lemons...). I hope they will still keep her engaged. There is one issue for her in that the school is not in her first language and she has already had less of it in school than all her classmates, as she started late and had almost a year home-ed. So I worry that doing more complex work will mean that she gets very frustrated with it not being in English. She is used to doing really well and it might be a big confidence knock if she is suddenly behind. That is something that we need to discuss with her teachers and the high school next week. Am not worried about her friendship group as she doesn't have close friends in her class at the moment. Her closest friends are either in other schools or home-ed, although friendships might shift about if she does stay in her class I suppose.

Oh and I might have said already, but we don't have SATS here, so there isn't an issue with that anyway.

I was put up a year when I started primary school - Scotland, 1970s - so I started uni when I was 17 and a few months! And I could have gone after highers, when I would have been 16! But I loved it. I had no problem moving up, made friends easily - but then, I was much younger than your dd. But I'd say go for it.

But you say that she moved schools after yer 5 and she's unhappy again? Is there any other reason tht could be causing this?

No she moved schools when she was five. She is in year five now. She was very unhappy in year one, and so only did part of a term, when she was five, she'd only been part time until then, and we took her back out and home schooled for the rest of that year. Part of the problem was that she was socially and academically ahead of her classmates at the time, she didn't "fit in", and so she was bullied. She has been ok in this school since she started in year 2, but last term there was some bullying again, and it was again partly to do with her differences. The school addressed it, and the Summer holidays broke the cycle a bit- she has been getting on better with her classmates this term- and a friend who had left for a while has come back into the class, which has helped too. Also she is involved in an out of school drama group and that is going really well which has made her happier generally. However although out of school she is happy and sociable, she is still frustrated at school and is getting more and more disenchanted with learning, so something has to shift. We had the assessments done to see what sort of level she was at and they suggested moving up, at the same time as a good friend with a daughter a year above dd, suggested the same thing. So we suddenly have felt we need to explore this as an option, but obviously need to decide quite quickly now. I don't know how to judge if she is mature enough, she seems really mature when chatting with adults, but less so when spatting with her sister! She is responsible and trustworthy, very kind and considerate of other children, but still really scatty about getting ready in the mornings. She is also really undisciplined about home-work and not very self motivated. She is at her happiest knocking about with other children and has friends who are older as well as her closest who are the same age. I don't know how to judge it really!

Should add she behaves really well in school and they are very happy with her, it is only at home she is stroppy, but she does say that she is really frustrated with school, and hates to go in on monday mornings.

If she hated to go to school then there is an issue to solve.
As a child who was mature for her age, I struggled a lot to cremate to my peers.
It can be just as hard fir am true child to fit in than for an immature child to fit in. IMO just as much moving a child ahead who isn't ready emotionally is going to cause problems, so is furling a child who us very mature you're to stay with their peers.
If, as you say, both HT are on board, I would go for it dreams she could do the same with dc1

My dd was moved up a year at her old school because of a combination of her being very strong academically and there not being any girls in her year group (village school with small classes). She thrived academically and it was better than the alternative socially, but was still not ideal. We've moved now and she's with her own year group in her new school. She's repeating some of the work she did before but she's thriving socially, shining academically and has grown in confidence now she's not the sometimes-left-out baby of the class. I would think about putting pressure on the school to differentiate the work more effectively, or think about moving her to a different school that can do that, rather than move her up a year early and risk creating new social difficulties.

SirVix My DD is also being educated in her second language (French). She is still far and away the best at French in her year (in fact I would say she writes better than most adults, in both her languages). It seems to me that bright verbal children who find writing easy are unlikely to have any issues with being taught in a different language, and if she has some catching up to do it might help add a temporary challenge.

Regarding the academic impact of acceleration, children who are considered for acceleration (especially in the UK where it is more unusual) are probably several years ahead of most of their peers. Either the school offers good differentiation - in which case why accelerate? - or they don't - in which case advancing the curriculum by one year won't be enough. My daughter is 13 and in the equivalent of year 10, and she would need to be accelerated at least two more years to be working at a level that provided any real challenge. We have been offered further acceleration on several occasions but refused it.

If you are worried about your DD's confidence being knocked, though, I would have a serious think about whether acceleration is worth the risk in view of the relatively small gains in terms of academic challenge. The real gain in your situation is not academic acceleration per se, but getting her out of the primary school environment a year early (this may well be a very good argument for acceleration in this case, but you could also explore alternatives). The transition to high school can be tough on less emotionally-robust children although a lot depends on the school environment - my DS also went up to high school at 10 and I was worried about him as he is an anxious child, but the school is small and well-run and so far so good.

Thanks for giving me more things to think about. It is tricky to know what to do. If she was ahead in one subject I think her current school would be able to deal with that, but as she is good across the board it is much harder. We had mulled over moving her to a different primary, ( as her current school was flagged as not dealing well with the G+T pupils in its most recent assessment, and there have been changes in the school , we don't have a proper head at the moment, although the acting head is great) Basically the school is under pressure and under-staffed. The move to a different primary would be really tricky as we live in a remote rural area and quite possibly it would mean a house move too, which would obviously take time that we don't really have. Also my younger dd is really happy in school for the first time and I would hate to move her, as it would upset her very much. My feeling is that the High school will be a far better place for her than Primary, whenever she goes, because they are so supportive of the brightest pupils. The other option is home-ed for year 6, but then she would fall behind language wise just at the point when she needs to be more fluent. (I am not completely fluent). I suppose all this is part and parcel of the challenges that come with gifted children. DD has a friend who is 9, but like your daughter Mistigri, she would need to be taught several years ahead in some subjects. She is home schooled and they use tutors, which works for them as they live in a large city where tutors are easy to find. Selective preps are so far away that a complete life change would be needed for all of us, and the only other option is boarding, which I feel strongly would be wrong for dd. It is very helpful having all your thoughts, thank you.

It's difficult when you have more than one child to consider. You end up having to pick the least worst option rather than the perfect option.
When is your school getting a new head? Sometimes things can change amazingly fast in schools with new leadership, and if G&T provision has been flagged up it will be something the new head will want to focus on.