Going up a year, any experience of this?

[SirVixofVixHall]

My dd isn't madly happy at Primary and it has been suggested by a few different people that she might be happier going up to high school a year early. She is 9 now, ten soon, year 5. I think we have thought of most of the major points, but we are having a chat with the two heads next week, so do any of you have experience of this? Would be helpful to know the pros and cons really.

It may be that getting her into secondary a year early is the least bad option, if it's possible. We did this for DS at primary level - they stay in preschool until 6 here, and it was clear that this would be a year too long for him, in terms of his social and academic needs. In an ideal world I would prefer him not to be a year ahead of his peers, as he doesn't have the same emotional and intellectual maturity as his sister - but our options were limited and the choice to accelerate was strongly supported by the school too.

I agree about the least bad option, it may end up being that . Head situation is still evolving, we might have the acting head we have now (he is the dep head), it is uncertain. He seems very nice. We might end up with someone terrible, no way of knowing yet. This has been going on for months. The school do need to address the G+T situation, but that might not happen quickly, and also as they are understaffed anyway there is a real limit to what they can do.
I don't want to put her into secondary school at ten just because her school aren't keeping her interested, but nor do I want her to be bored for another year. She also doesn't have an obvious friend to pair up with in her age group in school, and that makes her unhappy too, as she is very sociable and loves being with her other friends. We meet with her head early next week, and the high school head shortly after, so hopefully that will help with the decision. The main things making me think "Yes" are how bored and frustrated she is, and how she has always been out of kilter with her classmates. The main things against are that I worry she will be less accepted as she is younger, and that she may do less well than she is used to in a class ahead and that this could really dent her confidence as she is a terrible worrier generally. But then she is only three and a half months younger than her year six friend, who is an August the 31st baby.

If I am understanding this right, she will stay where she is for this year, in the mixed age class, and then will move to secondary a year early.

So in effect, the school are saying that they can't really provide for her next year. And you don't particularly see that the last year would go well either. Would you think about home schooling her again for that year?

My DD is skipped a year, currently in year 4, but we are going to homeschool for Yr6, because I think secondary, and adolescence is a much harder time to be skipped than primary. I also think it's so much easier for secondary schools to differentiate well. But the skip hasn't been difficult at all - within a term she was in the top groups for everything, and if your DD is bright enough to be that bored, the same may well also be true of her.

But if everyone thinks she will be better off there, then it could work. The US use something called the Iowa Acceleleration Scale to determine whether skipping a year will work - I think it's findable online. That might help you decide.

Thanks tenderbutton, I will look for that online. Yes, the idea is she would stay where she is for the rest of year five (but doing year six work, which she is anyway, so no change there at all) but go up to High school in September. We have mulled over home ed for year six, and that is another option, but I think language wise she would fall behind. Also she isn't very self motivated and we found it a struggle last time, even though then we just let her be for much of it, as she was 5/6 and very anxious from her bad experiences in school at the time. It is a possibility, but I think she would be happier staying in primary than being at home as she gets lonely without other children around. We did take her to home-ed groups last time but it was a weekly thing and she didn't madly enjoy it anyway.
We saw her teacher today and she feels that dd would cope with going up, so now we have to see the high school head and hear what he has to say about it. We have to make a fast decision as we need to apply for a place asap.
The big plus in favour of her going up is that the High School has really good G+T provision, and is a very academic school. They also have very good music and drama which dd is keen on, and sports, which she is also good at. So a lot to offer her, compared with staying in primary. Although Primary have said they could give her year 7 work if she stayed on next year for year 6.
I really hate the thought she might leave home a year early though ...

Some universities won't take them a year young any more but she could always take a gap year between school and university, so she needn't end up leaving home early

I have bought the Iowa Acceleration Scale book, it should arrive tomorrow, looks as though it covers all aspects and will hopefully give us things to think about that maybe we havent covered. We see the High School head with dd on Friday.
I had thought she could take a gap year, although I can imagine she will want to be off somewhere anyway. And of course she may decide that she doesn't want to go to University . I do wince at the thought of her being away from home at 17. Or ever, if I am truthful! I might feel quite differently once the teen years kick in though...

Just a little anecdote, to put the whole "going up a year" thing into perspective. I was at DS's Y8 class meeting last night, and I realised that because the local system allows for repeating as well as skipping a year, there are four children in his class who are older than his big sister (who is 13 and in the equivalent of Y10). You certainly wouldn't know from looking at DS's class photos, just as no one would ever guess that DD is younger than her classmates (certainly not her teachers, who were very surprised to discover recently when organizing work experience that she was below the legal minimum age for some types of placement).

I went up a year shortly after starting primary school and never had any social or academic problems (birthday in autumn term). Still friends with the kids from my class 40 years on :) Of course that is slightly different than moving up in the middle of your school career - but if your daughter is not happy anyway, and is already in a mixed age group, then you probably have more to gain than lose by trying it. I took a gap year after school, but not because of the age difference - just to have a break. I also live abroad and here it is very common to repeat a year so the concept of proceeding through school with your peer group in one age cohort is not set in stone. In short - very happy to have had the experience I did and to have had the extra year 'in hand'.

I think the size of the primary might be a problem - 120 children is very small. If you moved her to a bigger school, she might find more of a peer group.

To clarify, I meant a bigger primary school. I am not in favour of children skipping years.

No bigger primary here, it was this or the one where there are only 3 other children in her year! (We live in the back of beyond). The high school has more than her whole primary in year 7 alone, as their intake covers a pretty big area. I think that skipping years may not be ideal, but maybe for dd it is the right thing. She is also an Autumn term birthday child, only just, her birthday is right at the end of term, but it isn't as though she is an August child. DH thinks that she had outgrown primary half way through last year, and I think he is probably right. She seems ready for new experiences. She wants to go up, and is excited, but is also worried about how she will cope with the work, the homework, and the exams. We saw the head today, he is happy to have her in principle, he feels they can give her support, but the LEA has to agree first, so we have to apply to them if we decide yes, and we have to decide quickly.
I think the biggest problem may be the transition period within her own school, but we will get more advice on that.

I'd have thought that coping with the work will probably be the least of her problems. Anyway, good luck if that's what you decide to do.

The only other thing that I can suggest is that you - both as a family and agreed with the school - have a fall back plan if it doesn't work out. I think that helps her because then she'll feel more able to say if she's unhappy for any reason at all.

We did this (although DD didn't know because she was much younger) and it also made me feel better, knowing that there was a plan - along with a plan of how it would be presented to her - because we were really uncertain as to whether it was the right thing.

But I think I said this earlier, the research shows that the single most important factor in whether a grade skip work is the attitude of the school. So if they've done it before, I think there is every chance that she will be fine. Good luck with it all.

I stayed on at school for 6th year (Scotland) as I was given an unconditional for uni when I was 16. I graduated when I was 20 and I remember going for an interview where the interviewer didn't believe me ( age or degree not sure which - 'so you are 20...now?'

The school are relaxed about the possibility, they have done it frequently enough not to be phased by it. Last time the pupil moved from yr 8 straight into yr 10 with no issues at all, even though that is supposed to be a harder shift (it was suggested to us that moving up on entering high school (or primary) apparently it is easier all round than shifting when one is within the school, as many classmates are none the wiser. I think there are pros and cons either way, but we are leaning more towards sending her, as I think overall the benefits outweigh the downsides. But I am still reading the Iowa scale suggested by a pp and that might sway me the other way. I am glad that of the people who have been through it here, their feelings are positive.

If only move a child up if they were working 3+ years ahead and socially able to cope with all the hormonal stuff around her. If she's only working one or two years ahead I wouldn't bother to move her as shes still within a normal range.

I'd probably keep her within the correct year group but send her to an academically strong fee paying school for the year or alternatively a more academic primary

I moved ahead a year and whilst I continued to do well academically I really struggled socially, I just was always that girl a bit behind what was cool, was still into Bros and NKOTB when the cooler kids had moved on. Also when it came to career choosing I really relied on the voice of others (imo toy detriment a bit) as they seemed to want me to go for what they considered the best courses rather than what I might like (ended up with 2 degrees as started a second in my preferred field at 21).
My DD1 is very similar and instead of
moving classes we have enrolled her in a number of after school/holiday programs for gifted kids. She is thriving and they have given her the social confidence so she is happier in her own class.
Obviously this was any years ago but wanted to just give you my perspective.

Pelican, we don't have the option of an academic fee paying school. Even if we could afford it, which at present we could not, we live in a remore rural area and there are no decent fee paying schools for over a hundred miles. Ditto the more academic primary, there is no such thing here, they are all roughly the same, tiny or small village schools. We would have to uproot the whole family, move my younger daughter out of the school that she is finally really happy in, and take the children and ourselves away from all our friends to achieve either of those things. We don't want to move back to a city which is what it would mean, and it would also mean my dd going into an English language education which she isn't in at present. I would say that although she is working a year ahead in everything, she is quite capable of working at least two years ahead in maths, science and English. Although her english spelling would need a lot of work!
Minnie, she has been on weekends for gifted children and loved them, but because of where we are there are no out of school or regular gifted activities, also she is tired out after school, and does drama as an extra curricular which takes up quite a lot of time. It is a problem for which there is no easy fix- the Secondary school is very academic, they have so much more to offer her. I am reluctant to send her up so young, but I also don't see how she will cope with another year at primary after this one.

I think that social difficulties are easy to blame on being a year ahead, but they might have occurred anyway. My DS 11 isn't the most sociable child but being in the class below would change nothing (in fact there's an argument that it would make things worse, since one of his issues is getting annoyed by typical 12 year old boy immature behaviour).

DD 13 has no social issues at all. In fact we were at parents' evening last night and her class tutor told us she has two students (one of whom is DD) who have outgrown junior high school (11-15 years here), from both the social and the academic points of view, and who should ideally have gone up to lycée (15-18) this year.

Yes I agree. It very much depends on the child. Some are ahead academically but not emotionally/maturity wise. Then it might not be suitable for them to be a year ahead.
Others are also ahead emotionally/maturity wise so it's keeping them behind that makes it hard for them.
Also you have to remember that fir done children, even if they are in their year group, they will be behind 'what us cool' etc.
I think it's very easy to put the blame on moving up a year wo seeing the big picture.
From what the OP said, her dd is mature enough to be comfortable with older dcs. She chose older children to be her friends. So I would have little hesitation tbh.

Fwiw I was a year ahead and thrived. Dc1 would be much happier a year ahead if that was available where I am. Dc2 is also ahead with similar levels than dc1 at the same age. However there is no way I would move him.
It's nothing to do with moving up a year as such but to do with the child themselves.

We have put in the application, and have to wait for the EA to agree, and then we can decide either way if we want to go through with it (that was what the High school head advised us to do) .
As mentioned just above by pp, the main thing now swinging me towards sending her up is that I do feel she has outgrown primary emotionally too. I think she had outgrown it by the end of last term really, and she seems endlessly frustrated, aside from with things such as her drama group, which goes up to sixth formers. She happily mixes with everyone there. She does have a few close friends her age, one of whom is relatively grown up for her age as she spends a lot of time with a much older brother, and she is the one dd prefers to be with and has more in common with. Her other favourite girl friends are either the year above her, in two cases, or two years above in one case. She also gets on well with my neighbours daughters who are two and four years above her. I think she would be fine socially. The only social issue is that she is a very innocent child, she hasn't ever watched any adult tv other than nature things or comedy, her school as a whole is full of children who are much more naive than city kids the same age. She's only this year expressing doubts about Father Christmas for example. So in that way High School will be a huge leap, but I think that would be the same whether she went up this coming year or the next. And she does know all about periods and puberty, she has some signs of puberty and looks like the year sixes more than her own year, she is the tallest in her class, she's quite a bit taller than some of the year six girls, so she won't look obviously younger.

Hi this is is Clonakiltylil's daughter. I was moved up a year at about the same time as your daughter - I am obviously now a few years older.

Moving up, whilst usually helpful academically, is frequently a social disaster. Not because of being behind emotionally in any way but because of the teasing about being younger, good natured or otherwise. I understand your daughter is mature and gets along with older children but that doesn't necessarily mean she will get along with all older children more easily than children her age. She could be in an immature year group or simply have more in common with her older friends.

If your daughter is truly upset and struggling socially going to secondary a year early may be helpful - she will have a wider circle of peers and so potential friends - but it could also be difficult. If she is struggling socially in school as much as you say now, secondary school could easily be very overwhelming. If she is struggling with bullying now would moving her up help or simply give bullies more to tease her about?

In my experience, although I now have the best friends of my life and absolutely nothing could make me go back to my age group, with hindsight I would have thought far more carefully before making the choice as even now I still get comments about my age (although simply out of surprise). I can tell you it would most certainly not suit everyone.

If you feel she is up to it and would cope socially and academically then go for it. I am glad she enjoys her drama club. Is there a drama club in the secondary school she could join? Good luck and I hope whatever choice you make she is happy.

That is very kind of you to post from a personal perspective. It is such a tough choice for me, I really don't know what to do for the best at all. Yes, there is drama at the high school, they are strong on music and drama . I think she isn't socially out of kilter with year 6 at the moment, she just had her birthday and invited more year 6 girls than year 5. But I know it could be an issue later. Dh chatted with his friend who was moved up, and he echoed what a pp said, in that he still wasn't stretched enough. I have no way of knowing how it would pan out, so it is very difficult. In a different kind of primary she might be fine, but she really does seem to us to have outgrown primary in many ways. I veer between wanting her to stay in Primary, to mulling over the old style of schooling which does still exist here (but only at primary level) in some places, where all the children are together in one class and move upwards in a subject when they are ready rather than when they hit a certain age. School wasn't as strictly age based years ago esp in rural areas like this, as there might only be one or two children in any give age group. Now the system seems very rigid.

I have read the whole thread. I am usually very against acceleration but it sounds as if your DD is at a very small, rural and unsophisticated primary school that cannot possibly meet her needs.

Might I raise the question, however, as to how appropriate your rural environment is going to be for your clearly very bright DC?