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"don't know" versus "Can't be bothered"

105 replies

ChasTittyBeltUp · 03/02/2012 20:03

DD is 7 in year 3 of a new school and the teacher wants to get her assessed. She says DD's comprehension is behind her peers. DD is a free reader and has a reading age of 11 (or did last we heard at her old school)

She refuses to answer comprehension questions a lot...(mostly) but I KNOW that she understands the concepts...she's quite sophisticated in her use of language and has a very funny off beat sense of humour. She could speak at one and had full and lengthy conversations with me at 18 motnths.

Her teacher I think is at her wits end and this is why she wants DD assessed. I know I might be blinded by her being my lovely DD....but I just don't see that she has any difficulties processing information which is what the teacher thinks.

How CAN she when she is able to read a book and then discuss it with me afterwards...always asking pertinent and challenging questions?

(Of course the teacher the expert mind you and I am not saying she's anything other than that)

However...if something bores DD she is almost impossible to move....rather bloody minded... she struggles with maths but her spelling ability is excellent.

What's up with my DD then? Any ideas or suggestions as to what it could be? She is good socially...lots of invitations etc...forms some nice friendships...but she IS self contained.

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LadySybilDeChocolate · 04/02/2012 11:22

That's perfectly understandable. I sit and watch ds do his homework and I have to stop myself from telling him what he's missed out. Remember that people are good at different things though, she may be an artist in the making or a swimmer. It doesn't have anything to do with your parenting, she's her own person and she won't necessarily follow in your footsteps. Smile

outofbodyexperience · 04/02/2012 14:34

spiky profile does mean high in some areas but low (er) in others - for kids who are bright across the board, the lowest point can still be above nat average iyswim. it still points to an area of weakness for them.

ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 15:39

Oh I see outofbody I just worry that the teacher hasnt really given her a chance to settle down yet. She has had one term there...she is also the youngest in the year...born in August. So there's a year between her and her peers in some cases.

And she is very shy. It seems a bit quick that's all. Or am I being PFB?

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MollieO · 04/02/2012 15:47

Isnt' it pretty normal for children to be different at home from school?

Ds is very different at home. At school (yr 3) he has a real cba attitude. He finds school boring but apparently does very well in tests. His teacher thinks that is odd as he pays very little attention in class. I've tried to tell her that she would be his most engaged pupil if she sparked his interest but his worst if she doesn't. So far she isn't and as a result he gets detention most days (which he loves Hmm). He wants to move schools so his behaviour has improved since I told him his new school would require a report from his HT!

I wouldn't worry about getting your dd assessed. It may help to indicate why she reacts differently in school.

ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 16:00

Yes...I'm quite curious actually. I can't see how an assesor will get the best out of her....she won't do it for her teacher...why would she for a stranger?

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MollieO · 04/02/2012 16:07

Ds was assessed in yr 1. The two school SENCOs assessed him. He performed very well for one and dreadful for the other. The head SENCo took a real dislike to him but the other SENCO thought he was amazing and a very special boy. I was rather Hmm as it didnt' reveal anything that I didn't know about him. However it did confirm to the school that he was very bright (and very lazy!). He still doesn't shine at school as he makes no effort at all but I know enough is registering for him to do well enough and frankly in primary school that is good enough for me.

mrsshears · 04/02/2012 17:43

chas you may be very surprised
my dd who has no interest in shining at school or pleasing her teacher, sometimes struggles to even reply when spoken too completely came alive during her assessment and loved every minute of it!

mrsshears · 04/02/2012 17:43

mollieo very bright and very lazy here too! Smile

ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 18:00

Ah did she? Why was that do you think MrsShears and why was she assessed in the first place if you don't mind my asking?

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mrsshears · 04/02/2012 18:20

i think it was because she enjoyed it and found it challenging,she seemed to really like person doing the assessment too (peter congdon),we were not present but during the assessment i nipped out to use the loo and could hear dd answering all the questions with such enthusiasm,i wish the teachers at school could have heard her Sad
We had her assessed because of problems at school,differences between home and school mainly but tbh deep down we had always suspected she may have been the dreaded G word!
If its something you may do in the future i can highly recommend peter although i can't say our report has been particularly helpful from a school point of view,however time will tell on that one as its still early days,it has given us peace of mind though.

mrsshears · 04/02/2012 18:24

Sorry chas i didnt read the thread properly,i see there is already an assessment planned for your dd,is that going to be a full IQ assessment?

ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 18:27

I have no idea! I should ask shouldn't I? The teacher just said she wanted her assessed because she was worried DD couldn't process information n some situations.

I can't see that at all! I only see her as being lazy and sometimes a bit rebellious. But maybe I am blinkered?

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ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 18:28

And what other questions do I need to ask before it happens?

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MollieO · 04/02/2012 18:34

Ds was assessed as they wondered what was wrong with him re processing. He was diagnosed with visual sequential memory problems and had to spend some sessions with the SENCO to improve that. Not a problem now. It was useful as it identified part of the reason why he was playing up in class and also demonstrated that he was very bright (off the scale for some of the tests).

MollieO · 04/02/2012 18:38

I'd add that I pressed for the assessment. I wanted ds to see an EP and the school refused, saying he didn't need it. I'd always been told ds was bright by anyone in education/healthcare that had seen him (lots of health issues when younger) but he wasn't performing at school. I wondered if the school just thought that he wasn't very able (someone has to be bottom). The year 1 teacher gave me that impression so I insisted he was tested. The results surprised her. We had a better experience in yr 2 as his teacher gelled with him. Now in yr 3 we are having a similar experience to yr 1 and so now thinking of changing schools.

ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 18:41

I am not sure what an EP is Mollie? I suppose I should be glad this new school is on the ball and willing to test children shouldn't I?

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ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 18:45

I also dont think DD gels with her teacher...I also think this was apparent from the way the teacher was irritated by DD in week 1 and had us in there because of DDs reluctance to answer questions....surely she should have given SOME leeway as DD was new and shy?

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ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 18:48

Also Mollie, in which areas is your DS bright? I worry that my DD is very bright in areas which may not be easy to pinpoint...such as philosophy....she talks to me about all kinds of issues...why war happens, what death is like...her spoken laguage (she is very articulate but not with strangers) and in her ability to come up with ideas...sometimes amazing ideas...she regularly comes up with quite sophisticates business ideas for instance.

None of these things are things she will share willingly and will never write them down.

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mrsshears · 04/02/2012 18:50

I would have been pleased if dd's school had organised her assessment maybe they would have been more accepting of the results if they had implemented it themselves.

MollieO · 04/02/2012 19:35

EP= Educational Psychologist. I wanted a full assessment of ds including his IQ but school said he didn't need it.

The assessment he had had various parameters, eg reading age, language skills, maths as well as various memory tests. Can't remember all the details but one of the tests was giving definitions of various words. Ds has always had an exceptional vocabulary and was very verbal from a young age. Can't remember when he started speaking but was definitely able to string sentences together under 18 months.

ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 19:40

That sounds very like my DD Mollie...she spoke her first few words at ten months and by 18 months was able to hold a two sided conversation with long sentences.

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ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 19:41

I will ask about the sort of assesment they will use...the teacher indicated it would seem fun to DD and she would not be aware it was a test...I feel very unsure about all this. Not happy tbh. Can't say why though.

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mrsshears · 04/02/2012 19:56

In your position what i would want to know is what they are suspecting the outcome to be (they must have a suspision if they have instigated the assessment) and also what will they provide your dd with subject to the outcome iyswim.

MollieO · 04/02/2012 20:03

Ds enjoyed the tests with one of the SENCOs as he really liked her but didn't like the other one. At our meeting she said ds was spoilt and precocious and the reason for his behaviour was because I was a single parent. She had very fixed idea about SPs and sent me an email telling me I should smack ds. I complained, got an apology from her and the head she wasn't allowed near ds. She retired last year thankfully. Contrast the other SENCO who described ds as a 'ray of sunshine'!

fuzzpig · 04/02/2012 20:05

She sounds a bit like me, from your OP. I was a very early and fast reader, and very articulate. But my comprehension was crap, and to some extent it still is. I could read entire books and barely be able to tell somebody the plot, even though I enjoyed the 'feel' of the book and getting to know the characters. I was also like that with watching films. I'm 25 and it's only quite recently I have managed to get over this, but I still find understanding quite difficult. My auditory processing is still absolute shite.

I got excellent exam results though and was always a top student somehow, this is just a weird quirk and I guess I learned to compensate for it.