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Gifted and talented

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Original poster

Worried about my meeting with school

159 replies

mrsshears · 14/11/2011 19:25

I have a meeting coming up with my 5yr old dd's school to discuss her recent IQ test results,i'm really not looking forward to it Sad
School have been very defensive and basically have me down as a nightmare pushy mother,despite the fact dd1 went to the same school and i never went in to see the teachers in all her time there,in fact i bet some of the teachers wouldn'nt have even known who i was back then!
I'm really looking for any help or advice anyone has as to how i should handle this meeting,i know they have done some sats papers with dd over the last couple of weeks which whilst i'm glad they are doing something it kind of defeates the object imo as i'm sure they will have been full of things dd has'nt yet been taught (with the exception of the reading one) so i can't imagine she will have done too well,but then the cynic in me thinks that this is why they have done them.
What i want to say is that i just want dd to be challenged at her own level,not pushed but challenged,but i'm unsure as to how i can get this across without making myself look even worse?
On a positive note dd has been moved up a couple of book bands which has already boosted her confidence which i'm really pleased about.
Maybe i'm looking at this meeting far too pessimistically(sorry about my spelling) but after all we have been through i can't help it.
I would be really greatful for any advice any of you have.

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onesandwichshort · 29/11/2011 10:38

You would hope for better from an institution supposedly staffed by grown-ups, wouldn't you.

The only consolation is that you can go into the meeting with a bit of the moral high ground now!

Original poster
mrsshears · 29/11/2011 20:22

Dd came home today and said she had done some maths that not everyone does only some people,so that she could challenge herself and that she got all the questions right,sounds promising i thought?

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blackeyedsanta · 29/11/2011 20:30

it does sound promising. it seems that the teacher has been doing her research!

Original poster
mrsshears · 29/11/2011 20:43

I won't hold my breath but i thought that too,i do talk about dd being challenged but not in front of her i think she has heard that expression at school.
I really hope this is a sign of things to come.

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madwomanintheattic · 29/11/2011 21:26
Smile getting there.
Original poster
mrsshears · 02/12/2011 07:55

I have had to post before i explode!
Dd has just burst into tears over breakfast and said that her teacher has told her to "stop listening to your mum and start doing ** learning" (middle ability learning,the children can choose their own level of difficulty)Angry Angry this is in numeracy,dd now keeps saying why doesnt she think i can do it? she doesnt say that to the other children? and i can do it!
Bloody fantastic!! what a great confidence boost for her!Angry

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Original poster
mrsshears · 02/12/2011 07:56

And also i will be calling this morning to discuss this,i'm so angry!

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Original poster
mrsshears · 02/12/2011 09:21

Have spoken to the teacher(i didnt mention her words to dd just that dd was upset that she wasnt allowed to choose the high level learning) and have basically been told that dd has told them that i have told her she must choose the highest level and that it is beyond her capabilities.
I have never told dd she must do this,myself and dd discussed the fact that its good to learn new things and things that you have to work at and use your brain for(surely this is what learning is Hmm),dd has told me several times this morning that she wants to do the higher level but her teacher doesnt think she can Sad,i think dd probably has said that to the teacher beacuse she wants to do this learning and thinks if she says i have said she has got too then the teacher will have to let her iyswim.
I have booked the meeting for next week but after this morning it is obvious it wont go well,dd's teacher says she has lots of points to discuss this learning being one of them,sounds like i'm going to get lots of opposition.
And i think that yes dd probably is finding this learning hard in the sense she is at last having to use her brain because she has never been challenged before!!!!
And while i'm on the subject surely a teachers job is to 'teach' and if a child with an IQ of 145 can't understand a concept when she explains it (which i do not believe anyway) maybe she should look a little closer to home for the source of the problem >>>steps off soapbox>>>>

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iggly2 · 02/12/2011 09:52

"if a child with an IQ of 145 can't understand a concept " This is a worrying statement to me. Everyone is different it maybe that your child is not working in school at that level of comprehension (due to social/emotional reasons or just general interest) they may never do. Alternatively some may work better at school. I reckon my IQ could change by 40 points over a day (especially if stressed or tired)!

Ps I am not sure of the wording in your post. Do you not believe your Dd's IQ or whether she understands the teacher?

I do think (as you suggest) there maybe misunderstanding and your Dd as you have mentioned potentially saying what she thinks both sides want to hear (bless her).

Original poster
mrsshears · 02/12/2011 10:06

Sorry iggly it isnt very clear is it,i'm just so angry.

what i meant by that was if dd isnt understanding the teacher then maybe the teacher should look at she herself is explaining it,because dd is not normally a child who has difficulty understanding concepts(which may be in part due to having a high IQ).
However i dont believe that dd doesnt understand the teacher,i think what is happening is that dd isnt used to having to use her brain as most things come easily so now something is challenging her she is a bit thrown by that.
What baffles me is that in her IQ test her second highest score was arithmetic and on the attainment scores she was measured at over 7 years for maths so whats going on??
And at kumon induction last week dd was randomly firing times tables and other facts at the teachers and even they said to be able to understand times tables she has an ability of sorts so why is she finding maths at school difficult according to her teacher?

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Original poster
mrsshears · 02/12/2011 10:07

sorry that should read 'how she herself is explaining it'

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iggly2 · 02/12/2011 10:15

Maths varies so much with the environment. I love maths, I cannot do it with lots of noise. Also it's more once I get going I really enjoy it...... I have to be in the right mood IYKWIM. Importantly I am not sure I can actually be taught it Shock. I have to be interested and do it for myself then it just "clicks" (sorry English not a strong point for me). If it has not "clicked" for her she may just need time by herself when she is interested and then it may happen.

Original poster
mrsshears · 02/12/2011 10:23

That's interesting iggly because she has been diagnosed with hyperacausis this week which is oversensitivity to noise especially certain frequencys.
Dd does struggle with noise generally but i think perhaps this may play a bigger part than i first thought.

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Original poster
mrsshears · 02/12/2011 10:24

maybe thats also why there is such a variation in her ability between home and school?

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iggly2 · 02/12/2011 10:29

The more I hear about your Dd it just sounds as though there are 2 little girls! IT really maybe that at school she is working at a different level.

Interestingly last year when DS first started with all the 1-2-1 maths lessons they all took place in an empty classroom. This year he has them with the teacher/tutor next to him, but, I think the class will be quieter as everyone is older.

iggly2 · 02/12/2011 10:29

Talk about x-post.

Original poster
mrsshears · 02/12/2011 10:40

I know,she was a completely different child in the assessment too,it was commented on about how chatty and friendly she was which dd never is with people she doesnt know.
Deep down i don't think she is a child who is suited to a traditional education (school) but HE really isnt an option sadly.
I had a read of deborah ruf's levels of giftedness and interestingly it said that most children on dd's percentile for IQ are not educated in a school environment,probably because of of all the sensitivities etc that come with it i would imagine that's a factor.

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iggly2 · 02/12/2011 10:43

Have you (whisper it ) thought of the smaller class sizes of private schools. I am very happy with DS education (though it is financially a huge sacifice). Could you aim for a scholaship/bursary?

iggly2 · 02/12/2011 10:44

Is there a village school that is smaller around.

Original poster
mrsshears · 02/12/2011 10:50

No smaller village school unfortunatly,I'm in the process of writing up an email to send around some private schools although we would need a substantial bursary if we were lucky enough to be offered one.

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iggly2 · 02/12/2011 10:56

Feel free to PM me Wink

iggly2 · 02/12/2011 10:59

Just googled deborah ruf's levels of giftedness it was interesting.

Original poster
mrsshears · 02/12/2011 11:03

Thanks iggly,you have really calmed me down, i was out for blood this morning!,i love mn so much its fantastic that we can all help each other out and are all in simiair circumstances, thanks again Smile

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Iamnotminterested · 02/12/2011 11:41

Mrsshears Getting a bit confused by your posts Confused You have said before that you do not think maths is one of her stronger points but seem to be turning the blame on to her teacher by not explaining things properly? Surely a child with a high IQ should "Get" things?

Original poster
mrsshears · 02/12/2011 11:50

No it isnt one of her stronger pointsbut ime she is still better at it than school are giving her credit for and i find it confusing that she has scored so highly in maths in her assessment and does alot better with it at home than school.I actually said i dont believe that dd doesnt understand the teacher,i think its just the fact dd isnt used to/doesnt like having to work at things that dont come as easily to her,with what they are doing at the minute in maths they have to think about it iyswim.

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