colleague smoking while 8 months pregnant - aaaah!

[Lil]

Am sure I'll be trashed by the 'live and let live' brigade, but I am so-o-o angry with a colleague of mine who is merrily puffing away on her ciggies whilst very preggers. I just bumped into her outside the office in the smokers den and I was this close to having a real go at her. Wish I had, it would have calmed me down..am sitting here very pissed off and irate!!!!

Has anyone here ever let rip?

rude to Prufrock i mean! She's making very valid points.

Agree on the rudeness of some posts, it is a discussion not an arguement.

I don't understand how Lil you can start a contraversial thread and not expect some contraversial opinions in return.

SamboM, not quite accurate to say that smokers "pretty much" fund the NHS. For the most recent year, smokers paid a total of £9.2bn in VAT and excise duties while the total NHS budget was around £65bn.

Yes, we all know that smoking is a bloody stupid thing to do - you would have to be bloody stupid not to know... but it is an absolute bugger to stop. I started when I was about 14, lost count of attempts to stop, managed it while pregnant with ds, started again after his horrendous birth (not immediately, I had left the labour ward and all that) and have spent the last three years stopping and starting and hating myself for being so weak. Am currently off the wagon and lying in a gutter as a donkey walks across my back - but planning to get my head around giving it another go. Not least because it is so expensive and this time round I am really noticing the money flying out of my purse. I know I am stupid for still smoking and I'm sure Angelmother you do too, but -and I know I am really not in a position to preach - wouldn't stopping smoking help with the money worries that you cite as one of the reasons why you still smoke?

You know what M2T - on this one occasion they were meant to be. And I know it's really bad form to pull in other threads but before you start accusing others of being harsh, judgemental and insulting read the circumcission thread again.

Angelmother I've always smoked on and off, treated it as I do drinking, i.e. I can take it or leave it. I guess I'm not cursed with an 'addictive personality' I think they call it now - isn't it?? I don't doubt that some people find it hard to give up (honest!) but I have 2 kids I would walk hot coals for. Aren't they the best incentive anyone can have for stopping smoking? How can the health of your children not be the biggest incentive for giving up smoking.
Sorry, I don't believe that giving up smoking is impossible, for anyone. Do you really?

Message withdrawn

Lil- I can understand why seeing people smoking in pregnancy pisses you off. I don't want to be personal but bear with me. You have a child with lung problems and breathing difficulties. You did all the right things and yet you still had a baby with these problems. If truth be told I get incredibly annoyed when I hear of people taking drugs, getting pissed (I don't mean drinking a bit I mean getting pissed), smoking or whatever, espeically when I know that they'll probably give birth to some perfect baby with absolutely no problems and will swam through life totally oblivious to just how lucky they are! (yep judegmental - you bet!) BUT and this is a big but however annoyed you are it is their choice. Maybe they won't get away with it, maybe something terrible will happen to their child (and no that wouldn't make me feel any better- it would be worse). They know the risks they take, so let them take them. If it doesn't affect you don't get stressed - their choice and their risk.

and Angelmother I love contreversial threads I just hate it when people get personal...you're supposed to attack the idea not the person

In conclusion on my part ( as have midwife apt and really should try and reduce my blood pressure before I go)....

Firstly I apologeise if I have offended anyone that was not my intention, I merely wanted to add my opinion that sometimes we need to keep our thoughts to ourselves.
I personally have intended another attempt today at giving up the vile habit, a habit that unfortunately unless you have been a smoker you will be at pains to understand.

It is never fair to judge people untill you know full facts and history and in defense of my defensiveness personally it is people who feel they can tell you how to live your life that irk me the most as quite franky they are not living your life.

As much as I like M2T and lots of the others on this thread I have to agree with Lil.

I work in a hospital and every day I see heavily pregnant women (quite often with drips in) puffing away merrily in their PJs outside the main entrance. I don't say anything to them as it is their choice and I'm sure that they are not so ignorant that they are unaware of the health dangers they are posing to themselves and their babies.

It is a subject fairly close to home as my mother was a smoker when she became pregnant with me, smoked throughout her pregnancy and continued after my birth. Subsequently I was born 8 weeks early with bronchitis. My DPs ex-wife gave up smoking with her first pregnancy (baby boy was born healthy and @ 38wks) and then went on to smoke throughout her 2nd pregnancy, 2nd DS was born 7 weeks early, weighed just 4.5 lbs and was very weak and poorly. I find it very difficult to believe that this was just coincidence.

I appreciate that giving up smoking is very difficult and that pregnancy is stressful etc but I just feel that there is no better motivation to persevere with quitting than the health of that tiny, innocent being inside you.

Message withdrawn

I wonder what the smokers amongst us would have to say about herion and cocaine use in pregnancy, both of which are just as addictive as smoking, difficult to give up and are as potentially harmful.... Would you have the same 'It's the mothers choice, so leave her alone' opinion?

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE would someone else read my post and tell where I was rude? I asked Lil what she would do if she saw a mother put salt on her childs meal??? Where was I rude there?
Lil - I can't win.... you started a controversial thread you must expect heated responses.

I am not being personal toward you so stop trying to make it look like I am victimising you!

But Jimjams it's not is it? It's their choice, which is why I wouldn't criticise anybody who smokes (would be very hypocritical) but when a woman is pregnant it's not their risk - they are imposing that onto the child as well.

Sorry, HEROIN !!

My mom & my aunt both died this year from smoking. Only aged 61 & 63. Drawn out lung cancer for my aunt who had given up 10 years previously, and Cardiac Arrest for my mom who had a home blood pressure machine which showed that her blood pressure would soar after only one cig. but still she smoked.... Smoking is not just a personal decision, it affects all the people who love you and depend on you, babies or not. The sooner one quits, the better.

Well it seems that due to my previous opinions on slicing a part of your childs penis off for religious beliefs mean that I now can't post on a thread about smoking pregnancy....

M2T flounces off in true M2T style.....

BTW having things like that THROWN back in my face when obviously you can't think of another way of insulting me is awful and hurtful too. Even us people who have been known to have a cigarette during pregnancy (gasp shock horror) have feelings.

Sorry Bells2, I meant they fund their own treatment in taxes + more too. Should be more specific.

I personally love smoking when I do it but don't when I don't. I know I mustn't do it, I'm asthmatic, my dad had a quadruple bypass at 63, my grandfathers died of lung cancer and emphysema so I would be pretty dense to carry on. Try telling me that after a couple of bottles of wine though.

I didn't smoke once when I was pg though. Just the thought of something affecting the baby when all it took was a bit of willpower was too much for me. I do appreciate that not everyone (eg my dh) finds it as easy as me to give up though.s

Please would all posters remember that this is a DEBATE about smoking in pregnancy not an excuse for general mudslinging !!

Ta WSM

It must be another M2T who posted "Prufock we have been here before and your harsh and judgemental statements were just as insulting than as they are now" at 1:16:34. It's not your opinions I'm throwing back in your face M2T -it's your attitude. Don't dish it out if you can't take it back.

Tips that helped me give up (file under smug annoying b**stard if not interested):

When I wanted a cig I gave myself 5 mins. If I still wanted one then, I could have one (craving usually goes).

Have a drink (wasn't always water ) it takes craving away for a bit.

Have quick puff on a cig, usually felt sick and didn't want anymore.

Picture baby with fag in mouth, horrid I know but was the one thing that worked for me.

I found it VERY hard for about 3 weeks but got better.

Didn't start smoking again after dd was born but have not been in pub to be tempted either .

well yes that is a problem prufrock I agree. But I guess you can't force mothers to do the right thing- where do you draw the line?

M2T Flounces back in even angrier<

OH prufrock.... it wasn't you I was posting to! And the don't dish it out statement is a tad childish.

I can't see the relevance here, am I not allowed an opinion without previous being brought up. I seem to recall plenty people having even worse things to say than I did.

Lil - I had totally forgotten about what you did to me last time. Thanks for reminding me.

flounces back out to wait for the next gang member to get their tuppence worth in