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Original poster

OK I need to grasp this nettle.

141 replies

OrmIrian · 03/01/2010 14:35

I drink too much too often. Have always liked a glass of wine but in the last 18m it has got too much.

So as a starting point I am giving up booze until my birthday on 6th Feb. If I make it that far I will see if I can go back to sensible drinking - if not it might become permanent.

I love wine. I want to be able to enjoy it without compromising my health long-term, my weight, my running (try running 10miles the morning after you've downed a bottle of red ),my mental health and my bank balance.

I've cancelled the bottles of red wine I ordered wih my supermarket delivery tomorrow, and replaced them with tonic water. I am planning to run more as a distraction. Anyone got any tips - the crunch point for me is about 6.30 when I am getting dinner ready. I don't want to fail because they I will be scared about myself and my addiction (no other word for it).

All advice gratefully received.

OP posts:
RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 03/01/2010 14:38

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said · 03/01/2010 14:38

How much are you drinking each night? Coudl you not just have 4/5 booze-free nights per week?

darcymum · 03/01/2010 14:40

Is it the taste you like or being drunk? If its the taste can you drink alcohol free wine, does that fill the gap?

Original poster
OrmIrian · 03/01/2010 14:41

said - yes I could. In fact I normall have 2 or 3 nights when I don't. But the amounts I've been drinking have been slowly creeping up and over christmas and I think I only managed 2 nights since about 19th December.

OP posts:
FiveSoloRings · 03/01/2010 14:43

Why don't you cut down between now and your birthday ~ less of a shock then...also, it is possible(and I know you know this already but sometimes it's good to have it reiterated by someone else)to enjoy alcohol without drinking to excess. Could you drink white wine and halve it with soda water?
Good luck to you(both).

said · 03/01/2010 14:44

Are you worried that you won't be able to go back to being booze-free now xmas is over? I think we all overdrink at this time of year but as long as you can return to previous (healthier) drinking habits that's not so much of a problem? You sound like you're not sure you can though?

FiveSoloRings · 03/01/2010 14:46

I meant to add that one of my best friends gulps down wine like a thirsty toddler drinks blackcurrent. She was drinking far too much a few years ago and I found myself telling her. She sorted it out straight away. I was impressed!

FiveSoloRings · 03/01/2010 14:47

blackcurrant

belgo · 03/01/2010 14:56

Good for you for realising that your drinking has become a problem. I have friends who drink too much and just don't see it as a problem.

I think you should do what you say. Cut out alcohol totally for a little while. You will feel better for it.

What other food or drink do you enjoy apart from alcohol? Instead of drinking wine, can you look forward to a (reasonably) healthy treat in the evenings? I virtually never drink alcohol due to an allergy but i don't miss it because there are so many other nice things in the world to eat and drink.

Good luck.

Original poster
OrmIrian · 03/01/2010 19:06

fivesolorings - yep that's me I get a glass of wine and I intend to sip it slowly. Then miraculously 10mins later it's empty. I have thought of the soda water trick but I want to make sure I can do without - for my own peace of mind. Maybe once I've done that I can try to get back into good habits. We'll see.

It's not the taste or the alcohol on their own. It's both. If the only alcoholic drink available was rum or Baileys I'd be teetotal, but much as I like tonic water I'd be lying if I said I'd choose it over a glass of good red. So it's both.

I't what I use as a trigger to relax - the start of me-time I suppose. Need to find another.

OP posts:
Original poster
OrmIrian · 03/01/2010 19:14

Just has a houseful of bods to watch football. Everyone was drinking beer or rum. I am 100% sober. Feels quite virtuous

OP posts:
saggarmakersbottomknocker · 03/01/2010 19:18

Orm - I used to drink far to much. Now I have at most a bottle a fortnight (except Christmas when I do push the boat out a bit). TBH to begin with I had to not have it in the house at all otherwise I give in to temptation. If I fancied something I'd have a big wine glass of cranberry juice. I can have it in now and not drink but at first I found that really hard.

MonicaMoniker · 03/01/2010 19:22

I also love a glass of red while I'm getting the dinner ready, then one with it - it's my way of relaxing after a day's work and it's becoming a worrying habit. If I drink more than this though I suffer disproportionately badly the next day, so this restricts my alcohol consumption somewhat.

If I want an alcohol-free or alcohol-reduced evening, I swap the glass of wine with Shloer or something similar and unbelievably it does work - and like you Orm, I feel very virtuous. (Doesn't happen often enough though ).

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 03/01/2010 19:29

Also I set myself smallish targets. I finished the last half bottle of wine last night (and the last bit of whisky ) and won't have anything now until a birthday celebration in 2 weeks time. Then I'll find another target

PixieOnaLeaf · 03/01/2010 20:10

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SolidGoldBloodyJanuaryUrgh · 03/01/2010 20:14

There are lots of lovely fruit juice mixtures and cordials around - try a few different varieties of the posher ones as they have that 'treat' feel about them.
I am also cutting down this January as am getting on a bit and find the hangovers harder to deal with.

FiveSoloRings · 03/01/2010 20:51

Amé is really nice too...

The thing with cutting it all out cold turkey like, is the possibilty of feeling 'deprived' and that can backfire on all the good intentions. It's like going on a diet; you really do need to treat yourself to something small whilst being on the diet or feel so deprived that you'll just start secretly buying chocolate.

Original poster
OrmIrian · 04/01/2010 08:02

Oh I have every intention of treating myself solo Giving up wine will cut out quite a few calories so I am not going to be starting my normal NY diet. One thing at at time!

OP posts:
Mbear · 04/01/2010 08:22

I did the exact same thing about 2 years ago (apart from the running 10 miles!!) and it wasn't all bad.....

However, I agree to getting all the wine out the house, much easier if none there, and also for a short while make sure all your hot drinks are decaf, as you will be wired enough anyway when you go to bed having had no vino without the added ingredient of caffeine!!

Trying to get past that 6.30 marker is the killer though, make something super complicated for dinner? Can you give dinner to someone else for a few nights and you go out for a quick run round the block then? But you might find that once past 6.30 it ain't so bad...??

Good luck!

BikeRunSnowflake · 04/01/2010 08:27

Could you get dinner ready earlier in the day, bung it in the over at 6.30 and go for a run while it cooks?

Original poster
OrmIrian · 04/01/2010 08:31

I think that is a good idea actually. I am quite happy to veg out in the sitting room with the kids once lunch boxes are sorted but having to hover about in the kitchen triggers habits. I will try getting DH to cook every night Can't do it earlier as I'm at work.

On the plus side when I told DH my plans he offered to give up too (well, in the house anyway, he will still have a pint in the pub from time to time)

OP posts:
Mbear · 04/01/2010 08:52

Also, don't let stubborness be outweighed by habits.... as you are used to going without, then I think cold turkey is the best, and do not 'treat yourself' at the weekend, but sat and sun are really hard!

But please don't underestimate how not tired you will be at bedtime and pissed off cos you can't sleep, that was the worst.... def worth the effort though.

BecauseImWorthIt · 04/01/2010 08:58

Orm.

Are you me? Every time you post it is uncannily like my own situation. Or are you just spying on me and posting to shame me into changing things?!

The end of day/beginning of the evening is definitely the hardest time. Once I get past that, I find I can quite easily manage with a soft drink. So the trick is to ignore that time of day as much as you can. Or just keep reminding yourself of the fact.

Not having wine in the house is always helpful (although not easy here as DH isn't as keen to give up as I am).

I find that something like tonic or ginger ale makes a great substitute - not too sweet and sickly, and has the same sharpness as an alcoholic drink might.

But I can't seem to manage the weekend, so I'd be really keen to know how to crack that one. (Especially this weekend as we're having friends over to dinner).

Good luck. I'll be thinking about me you!

Mbear · 04/01/2010 09:06

Because.... Good tip for your weekend with friends is to tell them you are not drinking... Be upfront (or not) with your reasons ie giving up for jan etc etc. But by telling them they may support you, or try and tempt you, but if you go to pour yourself one, it will def be discussed, therefore you make a much more conscious decision as to whether to have that drink, iyswim....

Think that makes sense!

GleeE4 · 04/01/2010 09:08

grasp teh metle? or nettle
sure its NOT nettle

i use cranberry on ice omirian
or brush your teeth